Never Far Away

 Topic: Never Far Away  (Read 23 views)  
isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
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 Re: Never Far Away
« #10 on: Today at 03:20:53 PM »  

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am at work today and am not sure what am doing right now
my mind is blocked

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You can be who you want to be, just believe in yourself


isaacsmama (f)
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 Past Love
« #9 on: April 15, 2006, 07:24 PM »  

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I was going through my drawer
and i stumbled on your pictures
our picture actually
i stared at this stranger for a while and then i stared harder,
trying to recall exactly what it was like;
knowing you,
leaving you,
at first, it seemed impossible,
but then, slowly, slowly,
through the passage of time
you became wind
and the wind is so still
even starring at your picture is stranger
goodbye stranger
i'll put you where you belong
"outside"

i read this stuff somewhere and i wished i could write this and mean it for my baby's fada
i wan him out
he hasn even called to say happy easter
how lonely can it get, !!!>>>

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isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

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 I thot it was love
« #8 on: April 15, 2006, 06:36 PM »  

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he came to pick me up
said he wanted to spend time with me
i thot he was taking me out
we ended up going to his house
i felt like a sheep going to be slaughtered
sounds funny but it wasnt at that time
we went to his room
he wanted me to stay on him
i said no
so we started talking
then he was kind of like yawning
then he went out and didnt come back in for like 30mins
i was like, "oh, so because i didnt want to get down abi?"
he came back and said he was going out and he'l drop me off
then we kissed
there was no magic, it was a demanding one
it wasnt soft.
there just was no magic,
and he said he wanted me
i said no
then he asked me do him a b.j.
my heart that was about to break but was still holding on to a little thread of hope that mayb, just mayb he's interested in me,
broke.
my heart broke
i wept on the inside of me
i had hoped he was genuinely interested
but it looks like he just wants to shag and go
and asking for a b.j made me feel like a whore
that was a painful realisation
i came back and i cried
i asked why
don't i look like someone you'D want to spend time with, laugh, play, take a stroll,
why does it always have to be like this?
you know,
we used to mail each other
talk for long on the phone during office hours
laugh,
and i'll really expect to see him after work
why did he have to mess something so beautiful like that?
why?

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You can be who you want to be, just believe in yourself


isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

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 My Past
« #7 on: April 15, 2006, 02:12 PM »  

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This world is a small place
where i spent the night yesterday
we were all just talking about where they lived before here
and i just mentioned someone who i knew lived in that area
and all hell broke loose
they started reeling out names of other people too
and my baby's fada's name was one of them, and he actually saw him last week where he went to drink
i was in shock!
Its a small world,
it really is
and its kind of scary
i miss my baby's fada
but he is so full of rubbish and i don't know why i still bother about someone who doesnt even bother about me




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You can be who you want to be, just believe in yourself


isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

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 Him, Me, 
« #6 on: April 15, 2006, 01:56 PM »  

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He was here yesterday
i walked him to his car
he made me sit in front of him, it felt safe
he tickled me and i laughed
and it feelt like we were old friends
he gave me a light kiss and i thot i had been transported
but wasnt that too soon?
is my doubt being confirmed the truth?
that he's hit and  run?
what does he want from me?
he has a car, he's obviously cool but do i look like his type?
am no babe
am just me, plain ol me
so what does he want?
we'll find out
but the funniest is that i get easily enveloped
i like easily
and i think i'm begining to really like him
o bother

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isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

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 Never Far Away
« #5 on: April 13, 2006, 04:47 PM »  

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Why am i so insecure
whichever ways he'll run soon enough
epecially when he finds out about baby
i noticed, they don't like extra baggage!
i need to really get extra busy
all this kind of thinking not good atall for the soul
he just wants to sleep with me, i know

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isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

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 Never Far Away
« #4 on: April 13, 2006, 04:38 PM »  

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i spoke to him again today
he called
i asked him what he wanted
i think i was too forward but i just wanted to know what he wanted from me,
he said -"me"
sigh%
i asked what can i do to chase him away?
he said all i had to do was tell him not to call again
and i did,
and i felt sad
was i too forward?
why can't i take it slow?
but at this stage in my life, i don't think i want to play games anymore
i'm tired of getting hurt
and maybe i should just be by myself
i don't know,


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isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

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 Never Far Away
« #3 on: April 13, 2006, 11:29 AM »  

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I didnt need to call him!
he did and he came to see me at the office
i was so scared i wouldn't remember him, but i used ogboju!
he's cool,
and well kind of cute
but,
he kind of looks like he just want to hit and run
do i want to find out?
am i ready for this adventure?
damn!
i really do have a commitment phobia
what if he wants something serious?
can you imagine, i was actually shy
a whole me! especially when he said he liked my smile  
i've started again
going all soft for someone i just met
don't i ever learn my lessons?
,
i still think of him, hoping he'll call
he hasn't
doesn't he miss me?
doesn't he wonder how baby and i are doing?
then i think of the other man who loves me unconditionally
i smile  because i know he does
i remember the way he kisses my forehead and caresses my cheeks with that look of utter amazement in his eyes
as if i was Gods 8th wonder!
but why i can't i accept it?
is it because he's engaged to someone else and he claims he loves me more?
is it because i feel like second choice?
i don't know
,
now i got this on my hands
someone else!
wow, life is getting more interesting
,
before i forget, my best friend in the office was robbed yesterday near 7up by one-chance
so abeg, go home early from work and if you can't, shine your eyes  








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You can be who you want to be, just believe in yourself


isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

Online

 Never Far Away
« #2 on: April 12, 2006, 07:07 PM »  

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I met a guy on saturday at work, he likes me!
Do you know that i can't even remeber what he looks like and we've been speaking on the phone since?!!!!
he wants something,
but,
me,
i've alread started thinking that mmm all he wants is what is under the skirt
would he like to be friends?
get to know each other?
or after our first meeting, will he be putting his hands under my skirts?
you know what i mean,
all these thoughts just want to make me run,  as usual
but how i for do?
i want to say let me try and see if this friendship will work,
but tomorrow i don't want to go beating myself and think of how stupid i always get,
lets see
maybe,
am going to call him now!


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isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

Online

 Never Far Away
« #1 on: April 12, 2006, 05:56 PM »  

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I sat in Mr. Biggs
and behind me
some girl talking to her friend
i could see tears in her eyes
obviously, her hearts been broken.
and then am reminded of her
the one you say you don't love again
you say you love me now,
its me you want,
i know we gel
we love the same songs
though we don't agree on somany things.
but i know you love me
i don't
even though i can live with that
but are you ready to love for two?
i can't accept it,
even though i know that you really love me
genuinely,  i know
i see it in your eyes
i can't accept it
because she'll be sitting with her friend
and with tears in her eyes,
her heart broken,
i couldnt possibly do this to her
i couldnt
could i?

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You can be who you want to be, just believe in yourself


isaacsmama (f)
obudu ranch
Posts: 10

Online

 Never Far Away
« on: April 12, 2006, 11:07 AM »  

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I lay awake waiting for you to call and say i miss you, forgive me, i love you ,
but it's someone else that calls to comfort me
i thought the tears i cry for you were long dry
but this day i cry and i cry for you
i don't love you, maybe
but i miss you
i miss my baby's daddy
why you treat me like this
i don't know
i go thinking you'll come back for me
but you don't
days, nights, months
i wait but you don't come
i seek love elsewhere but i can't stay there
because its you i waant
but you know what,
i know you'll make me unhappy
because you don't care
so why do i crave your attention?
why?


Do you ask "Why God, why" like i ask?
Do you still love me and baby like we do you?
Do you think about me like i think about you?
Do you wish that things can be better like i always wish?
Do you cry about time lost, love gone and pray we can get them back like i pray?
or am i gone with the wind in your life?



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You can be who you want to be, just believe in yourself