Mum's Against My Marrying My Igbo Girlfriend

I need serious responses to my problem.
am Yoruba dating an Igbo girl and we are both madly in love.We decided sometime last year to tie the knot come mid 2008.The problem initially started with my mum who has always disliked Igbos and has always warned  us not to mingle with Igbos.

Am the third and last in three children,altho I have a younger cousin who lived with us from birth and is regarded as my sister,who is yet to marry.All my other siblings got married to Yoruba people and there was no prior incident of this nature.

At first everyone including my dad felt indifferent except my mum,now she has gradually won everyone to her own side and my dad who was my strongest ally seems to have succumbed to her.

The problem now is,
How do I convince them to accept her
Being a naturally rebellious person,I have decide to go on with plans and damn all consequences.I WILL NOT BOW! I WILL NOT BEND! IWILL NOT BREAK!!!

thank you richyblack,I needed the reassurance that I am about to do the right thing

do they dislike this girl just becuse she's Igbo or is there anything else?
If not,your mom is a typical tribalist and may never change.
Are you prepared to marry a wife and cut off all ties with your family ?
What do her parents say?
Because believe me no parents of any girl would gladly give their daughter to a man  with such close minded parents and siblings.

We all know in our culture a married woman basically has married her inlaws too.
This girl will be miserable in the midst of your family members,would not want them near her and her children.
May not want to even dring "pure water" from them for fear of juju.
She may not want them at the wedding,naming ceremonies,or any gatherings and pretty soon,it will hurt you too.
You may think love will take care of it,but honey,love is not the answer here.

My advice.

1.Talk to an aunt,uncle,close relative,family friend who can understand your dilemma
2.Tell them in all sincerity how you feel about this girl
3.go with them to your parent's house and plead your case.

I would not advice you to marry any girl without your parent's consent.
You need their blessings.
Your siblings are totally inconsequential in the matter.
I wonder how your mom was able to get your dad on the "hating corner" that is rather strange.
A man is usually the head of the home.

I wish you the best.

Here's my advice to you, listen to your mom as Judge Judy will always say" in ten years there's a chance you won't even remember what this girl looks like, but your Mom you'd always remember.

Also Igbos like money too much and are 419ers.

Relax  I'm not giving mouth to mouth if you pass out here I was just being sarcastic

The JOB at hand is that they  MUST admit her. Try all negotiation skills you can employs, also persuade BUT  most importantly look beyond the ethnic thing. Maybe your mother is worried about another thing apart from her tribe.

But if it is ONLY her tribe that is the excuse,,,,,,,abeg  GO AHEAD

20 years from now it just you and your wife ohhhh. You will probably spend more time with your wife than your parents

Be more responsible with your posts and stop inciting ethnic division, even if you suddenly realise that you were Sarcastic

If you are not matured enough to advice the young man, then cross to the other side ( sexuality)

_{saying nothing more after this on this issue please}

Am sure all mothers say so.
My mum said the same -
her first child married Bendel man.
second child married an igbo woman
third child married hausa

so u see we love our mum but she shouldnt decide for u.
Get family members to talk to her and if she still doesnt budge, then do what you gotta do - she wont have a choice she will have to be at the wedding.

Mums can be like that, why don't u sit with her alone and ask her what her fears are.

Cause it would be lovely to have peace for the wedding otherwise your wife would feel the strain.

osisi gave a very good advice and I think you should stick to what she said

Your mind is already made up and I do hope you are convinced and convicted for the right reasons. However, let your strong convictions be in your heart, do not make a confrontational issue or make it very obvious that you have taken a stand. At the end of the day no one can make you change your mind but you have to apply diplomacy and win your family over.  You would need all the inter-personal and conflict resolutions skills you can lay your hands on.

It is important to have both parents consents and blessings before going ahead with your marriages. If both of  you are convinced you are doing the right thing, no need to hurry it up. You will have the whole of your lives to live.

Marriage is more than sex and companionship you would need family support and prayers along the way. You would be putting you wife to be in a dangerous position with you family and at the end of the day it will all come back to you.

Your mum may have her reasons, she doesn't have to see reason with you but you can relate to her to the point where she gives you her blessing. Over time you should be able to prove to her that you made the right decision by how your marriage unfolds.

think it has a lot to do with the tribal stereotypes thats been associated with the diffrent tribes over the years,my dad is indiffrent to whoever,so ill go ahead and get married to the girl i love if i were you and i assure you once they see its real love and the ibo girl behaves contrary to their opinion they ll change their attitude and especially when u gys have ur first child

@omo ibo
 
       what if I fail to convince them?,would you still advice I leave the girl.I'd rather go on with plans and live with the consequences.I wouldn't want to blame myself for the rest of my life thinking I should have maried the girl I love.

@ogidiboy
I wonder why some people will lack manner even when serious matter is being discussed.If your not yet old enough to be part of this forum,why not look for a younger minded forum.where you can insult your mates and call it 'sarcastic'.Just tell me what is sarcastic about this statement.Or you just say somehing serious and then turn round to say you are being sarcastic.
Worst still,you don't know how to say sorry,in your reply,where you are supposed to say i am sorry,you rather choose to use the F word.How can you be so vulgar to somebody you don't even know.
I mean,do you think before saying some of this things that you say.Please TRIBALIST,we are not discussing tribe here,we don't want to know which tribe is better or not.we are discussing the way forward,chikena!.Ask your dad how to behave in the public.it may save your ass one day.

^^^^^^ garbage!