|
olunifemi (f)
|
me believe women should treat their husbands' people as they would treat their own family members; but d reverse is d case 4 some women who think they hv no business with other family members of their hubands since they r only married 2 their sons and not 2 them.wht r your views???
|
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
I believe they should treat them well but you also need to examine the man's side. Most of them believe it's their "brother's" house and so they can do anything -- that they're even more precious than the wife.
My mom is very accomodating but sometimes she tells me she sees why most women are very aggressive to their husbands' folks. For one, two of my cousins are very annoying and rude to her. She does everything for them and treat them even better than us the children and they try to overstep their boundaries.
I don't know, but my brothers would never do anything foolish to my wife when I get one. As for most of the rest of my exended family, I don't trust them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Seun (m)
|
My family members (wife's in-laws) will have their own homes and we will have our own home, and we will only have to meet during Christmas. It shouldn't be hard for my wife to be nice to them for 24 hours in a year!
Besides, we all hold the idea that a marriage consists of a man and his wife, period.
|
|
|
|
|
|
chinani (f)
|
I love the idea of being close to my husband's people. I'D want to have the type of relationship where my mother-in-law can be in the room w/ me when I have my 1st baby and such. I think it's the best situation. I think so many women quarrel w/ the husband's people over nothing.  It seems they think that the hubby's people are annoying & intrusive but their people are entirely different. How likely is that? |
|
|
|
|
|
Seun (m)
|
Your in-laws may not be worse than your own parents, but the fact remains that you are not their daughter by blood. They know that they are not stuck with you; their son can always leave you to marry someone else if they find you unsatisfactory.
There are cultures (yoruba) that encourage relative from the husband's side to intrude in their marital affairs. Imagine a teenaged boy wanting his elder brother's wife who is older than him to call him "brother" and kneel down for him because "we are all your husbands". Not while I'm alive!
|
|
|
|
|
|
olunifemi (f)
|
Your in-laws may not be worse than your own parents, but the fact remains that you are not their daughter by blood. They know that they are not stuck with you; their son can always leave you to marry someone else if they find you unsatisfactory.
There are cultures (yoruba) that encourage relative from the husband's side to intrude in their marital affairs. Imagine a teenaged boy wanting his elder brother's wife who is older than him to call him "brother" and kneel down for him because "we are all your husbands". Not while I'm alive!
mmmmm, yoruba with our yamayama(stupid) culture! aside our so calld culture in nigeria,i think a woman needs 2 treat her husband people with respects.i know of an area sister who doesnt like seeing any of her husband's relations around her gate not 2 even talk of entering d compound ;all in d name of enjoying her husband.God forbid,if anythg happens to the husband,who would she go 2 4 help?think women!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
chinani (f)
|
@ Nwoke I get your point. If the husband leaves (or maybe mistreats you) they prolly won't have your back. |
|
|
|
|
|
omogenaija (f)
|
my mom talks so much rubbish bout my dad's people when it comes to her family they r the best.
i told one day that she will be an in-law to somebody and they wont be nice to u.
and then she slapped me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
chinani (f)
|
and then she slapped me.
 They say the truth hurts. But I thought it was supposed to hurt the hearer not the speaker sha. |
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
chinani, you make me laugh. omoge-jackson you must have hit a very tender spot -- I'm sure you won't raise that topic again [except you're some distance away].
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
tolumi (f)
|
i know but a wife should be accommodating 2 her husband's people whenever they come visitg.did i say somethg wrong? |
|
|
|
|
|
Zahymaka (m)
|
Definitely not tolumi -- educated and self-respecting relatives will know that they ought not to visit all the time. The French have a proverb:
Like fish, guests get poisonous after three days
I wouldn't expect my cousin to visit me on my honeymoon.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rhodalyn (f)
|
i know but a wife should be accommodating 2 her husband's people whenever they come visitg.did i say somethg wrong?
accommodating?  that is jst like saying ''a wife should be asking for trouble'' i dnt get da bit bout You askin me if ya said smtin wrong |
|
|
|
|
|
eveseh (f)
|
hmmmmmmmm,nice question,
but too bad am not married yet
|
|
|
|
|
|
debbieolat (f)
|
I'm not married yet but engaged to this lovely and respectable man. We both live in UK with his parents in Nigeria and mine in London. I call his parents from time to time and we relate well. I was even surprised when his mum was the first person to call me on my birthday and she rings me at least once a week to pray for us. He also call my parent every week to say hello. Not all in-laws are bad. Mine are cool. My mother in- law to be acts like she's my mum and I've not even set my eyes on her yet  but i can't wait to see her |
|
|
|
|
|
Rhea (m)
|
Debbieolat,
I think you have a very blissful marriage in the making. You must have worked very hard to get it to this level. Keep it up. You must havebeen very receptive to your man's parents. I hope we all can emulate that.
I strongly believe that the immediate family cannot be excluded in any marriage. They have a very vital role to play in its success.
I'm not married yet, but hope that my wife-to-be (with my support & her cooperation) will relate well with my folks, and vice versa.
|
|
|
|
|
|
olunifemi (f)
|
Definitely not tolumi -- educated and self-respecting relatives will know that they ought not to visit all the time. The French have a proverb:
Like fish, guests get poisonous after three days
I wouldn't expect my cousin to visit me on my honeymoon.
how many in-laws r educated in Nigeria? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
olunifemi (f)
|
more comments please
|
|
|
|
|
|
nancyekpoh (f)
|
A woman aught to relate positively with her inlaws.
She should accomodate them and take them as part of her own family.
By so doing there will peace in such family.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EmemJU (f)
|
They are nice to me and I'm nice to them. I try not to get TOO close, that way we don't get on eachother's nerves. I think they actually do love me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
izoneb (f)
|
Well some in-laws hate u even before meeting you.Especially mothers-in law.More so if their son is well to do.They want him to marry their choice.So not all women who are not too good with their in-laws are bad.You just have to be as nice as you can,be yourself and leave them to God.
|
|
|
|
|
|
olunifemi (f)
|
yeah just be yourself
|
|
|
|
|
|
jaybaby (f)
|
Love 'em & repect 'em like your own FAMILY BUt they should STAY in their house!
no staying 4 weekend & stuff-it brings TROUBLE
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
mide2 (f)
|
don't know, but some inlaws can be really pathetic. Mine aren't, thank goodness. My Mom inlaw to be is really good, she wears her feelings on her sleeves but its right out and over with. Just like she'll do to her blood daughters. I'm not too lose to thm sister inlaws tho, but sisters don't seem to be muh trouble uz they'll be in their hussy's. And he aint got no bruvs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
minniepoe (f)
|
Hmmmmm, i love my in laws. they are the best in laws in the world. i have a very goo relationship with my mother in law, she treats me like her daughter, likewise my father in law. my parents visit them and they visit my parents in return. my sister in law is like the big sister i don't have, i am even closer to her than my husband is.
we live in ireland and they live in lagos. if my mother in law don't get to hear from me within a week and half, she starts getting worried.
i would say the way one relates to her in laws depend on the in laws themselves. right form the day i knew them they have shown me nothing but love.
that not withstanding, wives and husbands should love to their in laws. the bible commands us to love our neighbours. i know some in laws could be very nasty, just like my dads family were to my mum. they were hypocrites!!! nice to her in her presence but said terrible things about her. my mum did give a damn about their ways she never stopped being her good self to them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
laudate
|
Well some in-laws hate u even before meeting you.Especially mothers-in law.More so if their son is well to do.They want him to marry their choice.So not all women who are not too good with their in-laws are bad.You just have to be as nice as you can,be yourself and leave them to God.
Some mothers-in-law hate their daughters-in-law, simply because their son didn't marry someone else they chose for him, or because they feel their control over the chap will be broken, now that he has a wife. |
|
|
|
|
|
MILITIA (f)
|
@Topic
They are so many! So I play deaf, dumb, blind and dead stupid! Let the husband deal with them oh! I do not go near them at all! Even when we are under the same roof, I always find a way to dissappear. Not that I do not like them. I just love to remain a mystery to them to keep the respect going! Mother-in-law and Father-in-law are both dead, but truck loads of uncles, aunties, cousins, nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters!
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
