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napa (f)
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which should come first your career or your home?
I have an aunt that is at the verge of loosing her home because of her over ambitious self, her job is one that requires lots of travelling and her hubby does not like it but the point she keeps hammering is that the man knew of the the nature of the job before getting married to her.
Please I want the married to contribute to advice the singles.
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adeboo (f)
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If i wanted a career, i wouldnt marry.
I would say if u are wise and want some peace, u will settle for one cause i don't think they can work together.
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ifyalways (f)
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which should come first your career or your home? I have an aunt that is at the verge of loosing her home because of her over ambitious self, her job is one that requires lots of travelling and her hubby does not like it but the point she keeps hammering is that the man knew of the the nature of the job before getting married to her. Please i want the married to contribute to advice the singles.
my family/marriage comes first ! @story,your aunts hubby sure knew and accepted her +her over ambitious self (as you put it) before marrying her so hes got no reason crying foul now.i think while dating issues like these should be disussed to avoid conflicts after the mariage proper.the hubby ignored that all along so why now ? not saying that your aunts xter is the best anyway,she should try to adjust to satisfy her family needs first.perharps the marriage does not mean anything to her  singles courtship is not all about love making and fighting over the cars front seat  lets talk,compare and contrast notes and plan our family and priorities in life too. |
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cosby (m)
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well, i will choose career first, in this case as a man. i have my reasons, you can build a good family when u have a good career, but it is hard to build a career from the family, as aimple as ABC, as per your aunt, well, i strongly believe that all those types of issues should have been settled durning courtship, some people don't know the essence of freindship, well now that she is in it, i will advise that she do the will of her husband , that doesnt mean they wont still be rich as she wants, two good heads are better than one, whatever fame she is looking for in her being ambitious is all amoney, so she should tread slowly and submit to the will of her husband, prayerfully too, God will direct THIER path because they are now ONEFLESH.
cosby
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uspry1 (f)
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If i am single over-ambition driven person, i would choose career first---hold for getting marriage until everything is settled down, then buy home before getting married. We need a place to live to get started having babies. One bedroom apartment is IMPOSSIBLE for all of us as family (me, husband, and soon baby will be born)
If I am over-ambition driven married with husband, i would choose both career and home only if my husband is not great at financial management he don't mind my taking over. I cannot leave my career unless my health fall apart.
That is my opinion!!! By the way i am computer proficient using online banking system to pay bills as well as mobile banking sending special code text message to credit account via cell phone ELECTRONICALLY---HATE PAPER WRITING CHECKS!
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ThoniaSlim (f)
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@topic
she has a point there, the man knew about her job and kind of person she is before getting married to her, so why is he complaining. if she had started the job after she got married to him then it would be a different case.
I personally would learn how to balance the two. but i certainly would not want a job whereby i travel around a lot or work late hours and don't get to spend a lot of time around my family or my kids especially.
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NaJa HaJe (f)
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@topic
I personally would learn how to balance the two. That answers it all. both are important to me. Its a conscious choice that I will be making so I will have to balance out both for my own good. God forbid -- my husband dies? If I don't have a career how am i supposed to cater for my children and give them what we both would have given them if he were alive?  ? |
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Bblak (f)
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@Topic I will answer by saying that both comes first .My Career and My Home.It's all about striking a balance between the two to avoid lapses in any area so that i don't concentrate too much on one at the expense of the other.  My candid opinion |
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amsky (f)
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@ Bblak yes you are right when you say it's about being able to strike a balance bw the two. but not every woman is able to do that.what do you say about a mother who forget's to pick up her kids from the nursery because she's at a meeting? It's not easy multi- tasking you know. For me though,my home comes first,eventhough i work and i have the ambition of furthering my career. My husband once asked me to stop work because he went to the nanny's place to pick the children up and my little boy was soooooooooo hungry and had not eaten.Imagine seeing your child that way-had not had lunch since he came back from school at 12 and he went there by 6.30pm.The man just asked me to stay put at home. would you at that point insist on working?? my dear,i was home for 5mths. on the other hand it depends on what one thinks is important. i'll choose my home anytime.i'm learning to multi-task myself.it's not easy,i promise,but it's far better than loosing one's home.  |
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Bblak (f)
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@amsky Dearie, i quite understand all that you've said but i still insist striking a balance between the two can go a long way to help the situation.It's either i chose my home and become a liability to my husband.God forbid bad thing, what happens if the man loses his job or eventually dies then my kids and i wil suffer and chosing my career over my home will subject my home to total disarray. Like you said not all women can strike a balance well with the two but it's still the best i feel i could do to avoid chaos.That's all i can say for now but the decision may change if i get married sha.  peace out |
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Gamine (f)
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Women your career is your home!
Dont be decieved ohh
All these feminist movements n stuff!
A womans first point of call is her home!
Then next comes her 'career'
If you think your "career" is so important don't get married!
Geddit!
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michelin89 (f)
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@ Gamine
Stop discouraging women.
Let them feel free to persue their dreams and ambition!
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chychy (f)
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Career first but not at d expense of my home.
If there's a threat on d home front, hubby n i will sit down n work it out , . from 11 till 6 in d morn
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omena555 (f)
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My career is important no doubt, but my home is definitely more important. nothing can and will ever take the place of my husband and kids. |
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Gamine (f)
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Michelin
lol
Dont get me wrong
Women feel free to pursue your dreams and ambitions
but make sure its in line with Gods plan for you
And don't pursue these things to the detriment of your family
you will only end up feeling cold, unsatisfied and lonely
even if you have a family
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almondjoy (f)
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Actually they work hand in hand with one another. I cannot imagine one without the other really!
Especially with the kind of men being born these days!
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fables (f)
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Home comes first especially if you have Kids to take care of. Because is your Kids that will suffer it. Except if your Hubby Understand and is not complaining, and even in that case beware before another woman take your place |
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sagitarius (m)
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Definitely Home
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mama orga (f)
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my home definitely comes first,
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Gbemyte (f)
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personally i believe career should every single fellow priority but if u ve married as a woman then it should be your home
for guys he should knw how to strikes balance.
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OlowoTee (f)
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My Home first ofcourse!!! If it be possible self I'd rather be a Sit-At-Home-Mum. (Full House Wife) |
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oyb (m)
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no one on his/her deathbed ever said - i wish i had spent more time at the office
a career is a means to an end- financial freedom. thats all it is.
one needs to strike a balance to ensure that both are met. its easier said than done
its no good being a celebrated architect, lawyer, doctor if your home is in a hambles and your kids are all never do wells. (and they are be your real legacy)
in the same way, its no good being a fellowwho's always there, but who can't provide the basic necessities.
i guess i will try to put home first - as often as i can. no sense in giving all to an employer/client who will downsize or dump you and your 20 years relationship for some good numbers(profit figures) in the quarter.
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onyeka_ng (f)
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Actually they work hand in hand with one another. I cannot imagine one without the other really!
Especially with the kind of men being born these days!
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. in my opinion,i think women should learn to strike a balance between the two,it might not be easy but its better ,because of unforseen contingencies. |
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Nite Angel (m)
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Career and home are terms that are mutually exclusive; to succeed in career, you need a home whether of your first or formed family, to build a successful home, you need a career whether as a bread maker or a bread eater, a home maker or a home builder.
Two can never work together except they be agreed; asking a woman or man to give up career will not do the trick neither will giving up home be psychologically beneficial to your career.
The chicken or the egg; which comes first?
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almondjoy (f)
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Career and home are terms that are mutually exclusive; to succeed in career, you need a home whether of your first or formed family, to build a successful home, you need a career whether as a bread maker or a bread eater, a home maker or a home builder.
Two can never work together except they be agreed; asking a woman or man to give up career will not do the trick neither will giving up home be psychologically beneficial to your career.
The chicken or the egg; which comes first?
Chi-Ching! I love this post! Nothing like the voice of reality--or should I say actuality! Tru TV!!!!  Now this is the cyber voice of maturity here! How can one exist without the other for heaven's sake? A real case of the chicken and the egg! Try figuring out which comes first. Life would be miserable without the other. Ask women like "Madam Yates" who had a lovely home and ended up drowning all 5 lovely kids! Her home sure came first don't you think?  |
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tonib (f)
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my home will come first and after that my career. though am a career woman i still put my home first.
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trukoments (m)
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[/b][b]home.definitely home.no one is going to ask you how ''that your car is??!!or your big blue house'' e.t.c.
the first thing people would naturally ask is how are your family, and the saying goes in yoruba, EMI ISE GUN JU EMI ENI LO, meaning the life spN OF A JOB IS LONGER THAN THAT OF HUMANS, there will always be people ready to take over the job once you leave,,they'll even do it better.but who would tale over your home?!!that other woman or man thats been sneaking in your house when you've been away working and not having time for your husban or wife.
lastly if one is patient,it is possible to find a job which would accomodate your home life and work.good luck to your aunt and her family and tell her to take it easy.
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Zandra1 (f)
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I would say home first then my carrier would be second. But like some already said they work hand in hand cause though I love a happy home I still wouldn't wunna stay home all day in the name of being a housewife. I wouldn't wunna overwork my self or let my husband do so either. Also, after a day's work I would love to relax at a peaceful, happy and loving home. So yeah, they both work together in a lot of cases.
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bumble
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I would say my home first and am an African woman who still still believe that i have to train my children myself,watch them grow and my husband hmm hmm my big baby gotta take of him too.I could still do something,alongside to support my home that wouldn't really take much of my time.
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bhumeeus
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Hmmm, Its a tough decision to make as a woman I'm sure there's a way one can work around things,afterall other women are succeeding in balancing their careers and their families, Well that'll also depend on the kind of husband she has.Asupportive husband wouldnt mind her travelling and progressing in her career, Some may be supporting in the beginning but find out they can't cope, maybe out of jealousy that their wives are getting successful at an alarming rate,more than them(not impossible,it sure happens);or actually, didnt comprehend the magnitude of what he/they were going into when they were making decisions whe they were getting married. Well,I think your aunt falls in the later case.Now that her marriage is in trouble, she's got to weigh her options, Well I don't solicit her forfeiting her ambitions for her home;I'mof the opinion she that she can get a less demanding role if she sees her husband has issues with this, If that's going to hinder her, then I'll advise she looks for another company but with similar roles(a less demanding company). To be honest, these are things that should be discussed before marriage, If the guy is ready and willing to support her in her career,then he should do it all the way, Besides that,then he should look for a woman who's ready to become a house wife, A career one's been building for years can't be so easy to forfeit. |
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