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d_oracle (m)
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During an argument in the office, some persons said without a male child, a man is never really complete and if his wife cannot give birth to a male child, he should marry a second wife. They based their argument on the fact that even in the bible, God always considered the male specimen in everything he did. He always promises the people He keeps any convenant with with a male child. What do you think considering the fact that in Africa, the male child means more than a million dollars.
The room is open for your opinion.
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shapey (f)
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thank you d_oracle. this goes on in most places in nigeria.my mother was a victim too.i am the fourth of 5 kids,all girls(women now though~).it was a lot of hell growing up seeing my mother the way we did. my dad died when i was 18yrs old in a car crash.that was when i saw the other side of his people and what he was protecting us from.
i used to see my father quarell and storm out of family meetings when we go to the village for one thing or the other.i got to know that his people were always asking him to get another wife,and threatening hail and brimstome if he didn't. He sttod by my mother all along.they even tried to poison us.
when my father died,they said my eldest sister should have a baby with a man in our village.that was the last straw. my mother did all she could to get us out of the country as fast as possible.
it does not matter.children are children be they girls or boys. It is what we NEED to experience that will be given to us,not what we WANT.
so guys,let your wives be okay.girls boys,they are all humanbeings and deserved to be loved and cared for.
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d_oracle (m)
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Shapey, i was really moved by the experiences you went through. I actually told my colleagues that even if i give birth to only 3 girls, it will be all i need but then they kept pointing to the same issues you just mentioned about the extended family need for a male in the family.
I keep asking do i have to marry several women just to satisfy their needs for a male? Do i have to play God in getting a male child? Are women really nothing in Africa?
God help us all.
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Nwaka77 (f)
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Even the educated ones believe it is the woman's fault if she does not bear a male son. What a world we live in. There are so many marraiges getting torn apart everyday in Nigeria and Africa as a whole because of these issue. Come to think of it, woman are always blamed for everything, its like you can't win. If you don't marry, its a problem, if you marry but you don't start having children right away, its a problem, if you marry "on time", get preganant right away but don't give birth to a mail offspring, na wahala, if your husband passes away before you, its a problem (they will will say na you kill am). I don't blame those who say they won't marry at all. Marrying from some parts of the world is "too much coconut, not enough juice" as my aunty from Haiti would say. In other words, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. If God granted we humans all our wishes, then these sons that almost all men seem to so desperately want will find no wives because don't you need to bear daughters to have women in society in the not-so-distant future? So much for marrying for companionship. No wonder there are so many broken homes out there because humans will not be satisfied with what God has given them in terms of children. I tire!  |
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almondjoy (f)
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Tell that to George W. Bush and Bill Clinton!  Well it may be so in the Africa context. But thank God for the kind of father I have, who valued all his kids equally. He does not even intend to leave a will behind designating his estate to anyone in particular. Everything will be divided equally he says and my brothers did not even blink! They don't even care because they are too busy working hard to leave their own legacies. May I remind you that this your so-called bible was written by "men" inspired by only Mount Rushmore knows what. A very chauvinistic doctrine if I may add. The reason I can NEVER quote anything from there. Male child ma eye! There are many male children roaming the streets of Nigeria. Some executed by firing squad for armed robbery and other heinous crimes. I am so dead sure their arses were worth a million pound sterling too. Even the educated ones believe it is the woman's fault if she does not bear a male son. What a world we live in. There are so many marraiges getting torn apart everyday in Nigeria and Africa as a whole because of these issue. Come to think of it, woman are always blamed for everything, its like you can't win. If you don't marry, its a problem, if you marry but you don't start having children right away, its a problem, if you marry "on time", get preganant right away but don't give birth to a mail offspring, na wahala, if your husband passes away before you, its a problem (they will will say na you kill am). I don't blame those who say they won't marry at all. Marrying from some parts of the world is "too much coconut, not enough juice" as my aunty from Haiti would say. In other words, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. If God granted we humans all our wishes, then these sons that almost all men seem to so desperately want will find no wives because don't you need to bear daughters to have women in society in the not-so-distant future? So much for marrying for companionship. No wonder there are so many broken homes out there because humans will not be satisfied with what God has given them in terms of children.I tire! You can only be tired if you pay attention to such garbage. Pay them no mind please.  |
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