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olrotimi (m)
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don't want to sound disrespectful to our mothers but this kind of touches me.read in the tribune of feb 1, a kindof research on if mothers would educate their daughters on the use of birth control pills.surprisingly, 8/9 said they would not,even in the21st cent, don't expect such nonchalance to such things
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Ijiji1 (m)
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What in Gods name are you talking about  |
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Kobojunkie
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don't want to sound disrespectful to our mothers but this kind of touches me.read in the tribune of feb 1, a kindof research on if mothers would educate their daughters on the use of birth control pills.surprisingly, 8/9 said they would not,even in the21st cent, don't expect such nonchalance to such things
Trying to think of Africans as you would westerners would be your first error @Olrotimi. We are not westerners and do not have to do it there way at all in everything or in anything. What has teaching your children to use birth control to do with anything, especially in the 21st century?? Are we supposed to continue with the same blind follow follow that has brought us where we are now or to think before we leap to adopt ideas that may be out there?? The birth control idea has not worked for those who teach it to their kids and all, why then should our mothers adopt it ?? Just cause the westerners are doing it?? Not even all westerners teach their kids such if you want to know and majority of those who have babies where taught of birth control pills and condoms. I believe in this case it is not our mothers that are the ignorant ones. |
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bibiking1 (m)
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where is the link to the article?
and i don't think our ancestors where as "dumb" as u want to make them seem
they ALWAYS had their reasons
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~Lady~ (f)
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@ Kobojunkie
I agree with u. Most especially that in this case the ignorance doesn't reflect in our mothers
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uspry1 (f)
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@poster
@kobojunkie has said it all. Most Westerners (parents) are not comfortable to sit down teaching/talking their children about birth control methods, not even about sexuality stuff. The majority of all hospitals/public clinics in the USA are required to give parent consent before distributing the birth controls to minors(underages) except for private parenthood clinics. The parents just keep warning their girls to say "NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE".
Early 1980s sex education class in all public/private schools in the USA went banned. If sex education classes not forbid that would be prevented from unwanted pregnancy and diseases in the first place. I was there at that time as the last group of students learning everything about sex education including STD, safe sex, graphically sex intercourse from A to Z.
Unfortunately as of today, it does not work that way!!! Children were learned from western media, peer pressure, and friends wrongly. More westerners girls got pregnant early at age 12-18 before finish secondary school. It is alarming!!!!
Obviously it was not our mothers' ignorances!!! Our mothers did great jobs raising children reminding them to stay away from sex, whose fault?
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davidif (m)
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Uganda cut down its AIDS cases when it developed its own method of prevention
(read: abstinence) rather than following the western way. South Africa on the other hand didn't do that, they are too westernized to tell there folks that prevention is better than cure, instead they promoted the use of condoms and you can see the different results in the 2 countries. Uganda has drastically cut down its AIDS cases meanwhile the AIDS epidemic is still ravaging South Africa.
How this relates to the post is that abstinence and monogamous relationships are the most effective ways of preventing AIDS and not sex ed. I can't imagine my kids being taught how to wear a condom at age 12 (for real they actually demonstrate that by wearing a condom on a toy pennis) it would simply peak there interest in sex.
I was watching Jason Kidd (NBA Superstar) and his wife sometime ago talk about not allowing there kids not to date till they turn 21 and i thought it would be a great idea to teach my kids.
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bibiking1 (m)
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Uganda cut down its AIDS cases when it developed its own method of prevention
(read: abstinence) rather than following the western way. South Africa on the other hand didn't do that, they are too westernized to tell there folks that prevention is better than cure, instead they promoted the use of condoms and you can see the different results in the 2 countries. Uganda has drastically cut down its AIDS cases meanwhile the AIDS epidemic is still ravaging South Africa.
How this relates to the post is that abstinence and monogamous relationships are the most effective ways of preventing AIDS and not sex ed. I can't imagine my kids being taught how to wear a condom at age 12 (for real they actually demonstrate that by wearing a condom on a toy pennis) it would simply peak there interest in sex.
I was watching Jason Kidd (NBA Superstar) and his wife sometime ago talk about not allowing there kids not to date till they turn 21 and i thought it would be a great idea to teach my kids.
That is a pipe dream! totally unrealistic in this new world. Especially in America |
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almondjoy (f)
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Ignorance of your Fathers! When in the hades will fathers educate their sons on how to fasten a zipper and stop spreading diseases all over Nigeria? There is also something called birth control for men. These girls do not impregnate themselves using "semi decaying spermatozoa" from used condoms in the "suck-aways"! What in Gods name are you talking about I wonder? Like the education of the use of birth control is the sole responsiblity of females. If guys equally practice safe sex we would not need to educate just the females. Why am I surprised? Only a guy can come up with such. The most guilty if I may add! |
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bawomol (m)
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birth control actually makes more sense that abstinence. abstinence has produced worse results than birth control. if i have kids in the US, i'm taking them to sex education classes or lecturing them myself. birth control is needed in nigeria especially with the overblowing population.
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bawomol (m)
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not allowing your kids to date until they are 21 is stupid and unrealistic. in the US, where kids are alone in a college campus by the age of 18. how would u stop them from dating while on campus. 18 is considered an adult in the US, so u have no right to bind them from dating. the pro-abstinence crowd are purely delusional. teens would have sex at some point, u just have to make them prepared
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Kobojunkie
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Uganda cut down its AIDS cases when it developed its own method of prevention
(read: abstinence) rather than following the western way. South Africa on the other hand didn't do that, they are too westernized to tell there folks that prevention is better than cure, instead they promoted the use of condoms and you can see the different results in the 2 countries. Uganda has drastically cut down its AIDS cases meanwhile the AIDS epidemic is still ravaging South Africa.
How this relates to the post is that abstinence and monogamous relationships are the most effective ways of preventing AIDS and not sex ed. I can't imagine my kids being taught how to wear a condom at age 12 (for real they actually demonstrate that by wearing a condom on a toy pennis) it would simply peak there interest in sex.
I was watching Jason Kidd (NBA Superstar) and his wife sometime ago talk about not allowing there kids not to date till they turn 21 and i thought it would be a great idea to teach my kids.
I have to agree with Jason kidd on this one actually. My own mother taught all six of us not to date till late and she did give us sex edu lessons in the best way she knew how to. I am in my 30's now and I can tell you for sure that I have come to realize that all she said was true and that in the end, it is actually in one's best interest to not only wait on these things but also realize that one has to consider the end from the beginning. You made a good case about South Africa. I was there some years ago and could not believe how sex was handled in the public. I mean even the media pushed it and I do not understand why they do not see that as the reason for the serious issues with teen pregnancy and AIDS at all. I was discussing this same with someone else over here some months ago about how all countries that happen to have implemented the style here have seriously high teen pregnancy issues as well as high STD issues compared to many of the countries that do not. The Mormon, Menonite and Amish communities in America actually happen to be a good place to look at to see where the old way works even in the developed world. The Number of Teen pregnancy and STD cases in these communities are almost non-existent but among those who subscribe to the popular idea, the numbers are outrageous. not allowing your kids to date until they are 21 is stupid and unrealistic. in the US, where kids are alone in a college campus by the age of 18. how would u stop them from dating while on campus. 18 is considered an adult in the US, so u have no right to bind them from dating. the pro-abstinence crowd are purely delusional. teens would have sex at some point, u just have to make them prepared
Not allowing Your kids to date until 21 is actually not stupid and unrealistic. I have met quite a couple of dudes and dames out here who actually lived it and some of them are married today and will not tell you it was a problem or is a problem for them today. So your post there I will take is made out of ignorance ( as in not really knowing much of how it works). I myself was taught that but I did not make it but I will tell you that I live it today and I can tell you for sure that I am better off than majority of my peers. Imagine sitting and having to listen to dudes whine to you about their sex life and you almost feel you need to find yourself new friends out of boredom. LMAO!!! I grew up for the most part in America myself and I have not had the urge to date or have sex as expected by some, at all since I have lived here. I have met americans, born and raised, who themselves do not believe in dating or having sex with anything, as I do and see no reason for sex until marriage in most cases (many of them are not even religious but where raised to belief that it is not necessarily the norm and they can hold off till marriage). So if Americans who are born and raised do not all believe in going with the Dating fad, and do not indulge and then foreigners who come here are still able to stay away from the whole popular idea that dating and having sex in america is the norm, please tell me how your claim up there happens to be close to the reality for all of america?? Let alone the rest of the world??? |
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stillwater (f)
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not allowing your kids to date until they are 21 is stupid and unrealistic. in the US, where kids are alone in a college campus by the age of 18. how would u stop them from dating while on campus. 18 is considered an adult in the US, so u have no right to bind them from dating. the pro-abstinence crowd are purely delusional. teens would have sex at some point, u just have to make them prepared
The teens that do not have sex, do they have two heads? don't want to sound disrespectful to our mothers but this kind of touches me.read in the tribune of feb 1, a kindof research on if mothers would educate their daughters on the use of birth control pills.surprisingly, 8/9 said they would not,even in the21st cent, don't expect such nonchalance to such things
The post is not explicit enough--- Was the research about the use of birth control pills for family planning within marriage after giving birth to a couple of children or before marriage? |
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bawomol (m)
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I have met quite a couple of dudes and dames out here who actually lived it and some of them are married today and will not tell you it was a problem or is a problem for them today. So your post there I will take is made out of ignorance ( as in not really knowing much of how it works).of course it's ignorance. i mean u are going to put a chastity belt on your daughter. u meeting a couple of "dudes and dames" don't count. studies have shown abstinence doesn't work as much as birth control. abstinence works for some(keyword-some) but for most people it doesn't.
I myself was taught that but I did not make it but I will tell you that I live it today and I can tell you for sure that I am better off than majority of my peers. Imagine sitting and having to listen to dudes whine to you about their sex life and you almost feel you need to find yourself new friends out of boredom. LMAO!!!you are right, being a nympho and a sex-fiend at a young age is not a good look. but that can be solved by sex education classes and parent's explaining the dynamics of sex and relationships to their kids(don't just scream abstinence!!!!!!!!)
I do and see no reason for sex until marriage in most cases (many of them are not even religious but where raised to belief that it is not necessarily the norm and they can hold off till marriage).that's where we are different, different people and cultures have different norms. i do not plan to get married and i most likely won't have kids but i do hope to have a sexual life  . i definitely would like all birth control options available to me(including abortions!!!). So if Americans who are born and raised do not all believe in going with the Dating fad,there's no homogeneous American culture. some allow dating while others don't. the one that don't allow dating usually see their kids do it behind their backs. kids rebel and u most likely did 2. please tell me how your claim up there happens to be close to the reality for all of america?? Let alone the rest of the world???reality is the STD rate in places like Washington, and the number of teenage pregnany and single family households prevalent in America today. i guess the US census bureau is cooking up lies
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bawomol (m)
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The teens that do not have sex, do they have two heads?
no they don't have two heads but such cases are rare. lots of people have sexual experiences before the age of 21. keep on being in denial.
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stillwater (f)
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The teens that do not have sex, do they have two heads?
no they don't have two heads but such cases are rare. lots of people have sexual experiences before the age of 21. keep on being in denial.
Can you tell me why those teens don't despite all randiness glaring in their faces? that's where we are different, different people and cultures have different norms. i do not plan to get married and i most likely won't have kids but i do hope to have a sexual life . i definitely would like all birth control options available to me(including abortions!!!). lol, you've finally revealed yourself. You could have a vasectomy it would save us all the heartache of seeing another fetus killed. |
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ifyalways (f)
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@topic,yes it would go along way if both parents educate their children at the right age about sex education.leaving the topic or pretending it doesnt exist doesnt help at all.most girls got pregnant out of wedlock because they had little or no sex education/talks with their parents many boys became boy-daddies today too because their dads never had that all important talk with them.its sad but in some families today,sex education or talk is still a forbidden topic.a child that even have the guts to talk or ask questions about sex is termed a promiscuous one. that leaves sex education to the teachers and friends who sometimes don't provide the right and sincere answers. The teens that do not have sex, do they have two heads?
no my dear,they don't have 2 heads just that the truth be told,they are a very minor minority.peer influences,schools,magazines and novels and parental lackadaisical attitude to sex education jointly share the blame. all in all being disciplined as an individual,hanging with the right people/friends and GODS GRACE helps. |
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~Lady~ (f)
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birth control actually makes more sense that abstinence. abstinence has produced worse results than birth control. if i have kids in the US, i'm taking them to sex education classes or lecturing them myself. birth control is needed in nigeria especially with the overblowing population.
Birth control -----99.9%
Abstinence -----100%
hmm which to choose? A possiblity of failure or possiblity of pure success. I just wonder. I just can't figure out how am to choose success. I'll choose the one that leaves me vulnerable. YES.
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~Lady~ (f)
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not allowing your kids to date until they are 21 is stupid and unrealistic. in the US, where kids are alone in a college campus by the age of 18. how would u stop them from dating while on campus. 18 is considered an adult in the US, so u have no right to bind them from dating. the pro-abstinence crowd are purely delusional. teens would have sex at some point, u just have to make them prepared
Ok this is not the US we're talking about here. We're talking about Nigeria (a complete 180 from the US)
We use what works for us and not what works for others whose culture is completely different from ours.
I think u just want everyone to know u reside in the US, oya clap for yourself.
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4Him (m)
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no my dear,they don't have 2 heads just that the truth be told,they are a very minor minority. Truth be told that is false. they are not in the minority its just that a lot of them can't say it for fear of being mocked by the self-hating crowd. |
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Arielle
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Speaking from my own experience (never really cared much for generalisation ) a lot of Nigerian parents do not talk to their children about sex - until something happens. My mum talked to me about sex - the consequences - before i started my period at 10 years old. That was because I had shown signs of puberty early. I started growing underarm hair and breasts at 9. She bought me my first training bra then. I remember overhearing my Dad protesting and my Mum retorting that I was growing up right before their eyes and ignoring it would do no good. So when my period came at 10, I was prepared. I knew if I messed with boys I would get pregnant. There is a lot that can be said for the fear of getting pregnant. Contraceptives were an absolute no-no. By the time I got to secondary school, most of my mates hadn't started yet. Most started at about 15 and had absolutely no clue what was happening to them. One hilarious case was when one 14yr old raced out of the bathroom screaming that she was bleeding to death!! The house mistress had to be called in to counsel her.
I think sex education must not include giving contrceptives to teens. But I think basic sex education which includes talking about values, respect for oneself and acknowledging that sexual feeling in teens and even pre-teens occur, go a long way in inculcating a much needed self-worth in young people. At that age that is all the contraception you need. But i think that is sadly lacking in a lot of homes today. Often times, such a talk is given with threatening undertones, making the forbidden seem more attractive to a young mind. Just my take on this.
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aburo (m)
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Because tellingt he truth is very difficult and only a minorty does, is not a compelling reason to teach children how to lie without getting caught.
Likewise because only a minority of youths abstain from sex, is not an excuse for encouraging them to have so called safe sex which is not really safe. That is not sex education.
First what is really sex education.
Sex simply has to do with being male or female. Our mothers taught us that as boys (men) and girls (women) we ere diferent from each other.
Our mothers taught girls how to seat without exposing their, I mean, emm, you know. Taught boys to treat girls with dignity and protect them from harm.
Our mothers further observed the girls as they grew, and helped them to express their feminity in a magical way like the way they talked, walked, danced, sang and smile. Taught them to stay away from harm. Gave boys good training that resulted in very low rape cases.
Sex education is not and should not be all about safe sex. Our wise mothers knew that sex is not just a physical experience. it is something very profound, (indeed very powerful) to be used with a great sense of responsibility.
The first choice lesson was and is abstinence. We understood from our mums that it is not a frustrating ban on sex. Sex according to my mother (and other mothers too) is for procreation and for deep expression of an unselfish and solemly committed love. A love that is so special and unique that it cannot be expressed to just anybody. It took strenght to abstain till marriage. It made us proud of our strenght.
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bawomol (m)
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Can you tell me why those teens don't despite all randiness glaring in their faces?they don't because of something called preference. u see just like u have a right to abstain from sex, i have the right to have sex(safe sex by the way) lol, you've finally revealed yourself. You could have a vasectomy it would save us all the heartache of seeing another fetus killed.abortion is legal. i'm a liberal that supports abortion to the fullest. of course practicing safe sex reducing the chance of impregnating someone. having sex or not is a personal choice. let your kids make that choice(with your counseling of course). u shouldn't put an age limit on sex. people develop at different rates.
hmm which to choose? A possiblity of failure or possiblity of pure success. I just wonder. I just can't figure out how am to choose success. I'll choose the one that leaves me vulnerable. YES.great, i guess we would all go celebate to make u happy abi. get your head out of the sand. Ok this is not the US we're talking about here. We're talking about Nigeria (a complete 180 from the US)
We use what works for us and not what works for others whose culture is completely different from ours.nigeria is getting influences by western culture rapidly. u watched western movies and listen to western musics. this is the internet age, u think nigerian kids can be isolated for long. i went to secondary school in naija and i knew sexual activities were going on.this was rarely discussed due to the social stigma Nigerians stupidly associate with it.
I think u just want everyone to know u reside in the US, oya clap for yourself.my location already says that, are u blind or do u attend special ed classes?
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bawomol (m)
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Our mothers further observed the girls as they grew, and helped them to express their feminity in a magical way like the way they talked, walked, danced, sang and smile. Taught them to stay away from harm. Gave boys good training that resulted in very low rape cases.
denial again ,what very low rape cases are u talking about?? most women are just scared to report rape due to social stigma. femininity isn't just the way a woman talks or how she dance. sexual expression is part of being human. please note, i am not encouraging whorish activities. practicing abstinence is a choice and not a must.
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bawomol (m)
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Sex according to my mother (and other mothers too) is for procreation and for deep expression of an unselfish and solemly committed love
mammals have sex for procreation and for fun. why can't people just be honest about sexuality.
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Kobojunkie
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of course it's ignorance. i mean u are going to put a chastity belt on your daughter. u meeting a couple of "dudes and dames" don't count. studies have shown abstinence doesn't work as much as birth control. abstinence works for some(keyword-some) but for most people it doesn't. you are right, being a nympho and a sex-fiend at a young age is not a good look. but that can be solved by sex education classes and parent's explaining the dynamics of sex and relationships to their kids(don't just scream abstinence!!!!!!!!) that's where we are different, different people and cultures have different norms. i do not plan to get married and i most likely won't have kids but i do hope to have a sexual life . i definitely would like all birth control options available to me(including abortions!!!). there's no homogeneous American culture. some allow dating while others don't. the one that don't allow dating usually see their kids do it behind their backs. kids rebel and u most likely did 2. reality is the STD rate in places like Washington, and the number of teenage pregnany and single family households prevalent in America today. i guess the US census bureau is cooking up lies Look , poking fun at my post is not going to help validate your ideas in any way. Fact remains, Children from houses where Abstinence is addressed are less likely to have sex and contract STDS as well as get pregnant when compared to kids from homes where kids are taught to use condoms and birth control. Majority of the folks who have sex and contract STDS already had knowledge of condoms and birth controls but these things still happen to them. I gave you pictures of different sort of people living in the same america as those others you claim can not hold themselves do. Are you going to tell me that nymphos do not exist in the amish/menonite and even mormon communities?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO OPEN YOUR TRAP and tell me that those boys/men in the Mormon communities who marry 16 wives can NEVER be considered NYMPHOS??? Look, your argument is that of someone who is not willing to accept that some measure of control is needed by those kids regardless of what they are taught. In the end, you tell a kid to stay away from sex cause of STDS and pregnancies, it is up to that kid to consider your words and the consequences of his/her actions in the end. And time after time again, numbers show overwhelmingly that teaching children sex education and condoms does not necessary stop them from having sex and getting STDS. So if you then consider what really is, let us break this down ALL below samples live in AMERICA, lets say in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, TEENS A B C D E F G H are from Amish, Menonite and Mormon communities are not given sex education as western society says they should. G ends up having sex and then goes back to abstinence. TEENS O P Q R S T You are given sex education according to WESTERN society says to, O, P, Q, R, S and T have sex at early age and unfortunately T contracts an STD. are you sure Birth Control and sex education in this small group had the desired effect Or are you smoking something else?? The post is about getting our mothers to teach our own African babes the way of the western world. We already have a huge sample in South Africa showing how horrible that idea may turn out if implemented in the whole of Africa and you still believe mouthing off will make the realities of it all go away somehow?? Take a look at this article on the Amish , http://www.loka.org/pubs/contents.htm , Spend time researching teenage pregnancies/AIDS / Abortions and what nots in Amish communities and then Menonites and even Mormon communities in America and what you find might amaze you. These people live in the same america as you and I do. The Menonites and even the mormons are even exposed to the same news papers and magazines and TV as you and I are. Then come back and try again with your argument. |
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bawomol (m)
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Children from houses where Abstinence is addressed are less likely to have sex and contract STDS as well as get pregnant when compared to kids from homes where kids are taught to use condoms and birth control.
to have a study to back this up. the American psychological association says otherwise
Are you going to tell me that nymphos do not exist in the amish/menonite and even mormon communities?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO OPEN YOUR TRAP and tell me that those boys/men in the Mormon communities who marry 16 wives can NEVER be considered NYMPHOS???
stay on topic, we are talking about abstinence vs birth control and not who is a nympho. marry 16 usually underaged wives is sick by the way. the officical mormon church abandoned polygamy years ago.
Look, your argument is that of someone who is not willing to accept that some measure of control is needed by those kids regardless of what they are taught.
read my posts again wise one. birth control is a safeguard for the kids that would breakaway from the control. not every would practice abstinence. your kids have a right to know the options available to them. it's up to them to choose what path they make. your a parent/guardian not a dictator.
The post is about getting our mothers to teach our own African babes the way of the western world. We already have a huge sample in South Africa showing how horrible that idea may turn out if implemented in the whole of Africa and you still believe mouthing off will make the realities of it all go away somehow??
teach our own african babes?? i believe sex education is for both men and women. be in denial all u want but birth control has had solid results in places like bothswana and thailand(distributing condoms to women has curbed hiv and std's there). there are more successes than failures.
These people live in the same america as you and I do
FYI: those people are a minority. more and more people are eloping from those "utopian" communities. preach abstinence all u want but remember people would do what they want.
The Menonites and even the mormons are even exposed to the same news papers and magazines and TV as you and I are
amish don't watch tv or use most forms of technology. mormons are highly conservative and avoid most forms of media. the general population of americans are not meronites. again, the US census bureau isn't lying.
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stillwater (f)
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abortion is legal. i'm a liberal that supports abortion to the fullest. of course practicing safe sex reducing the chance of impregnating someone. having sex or not is a personal choice. let your kids make that choice(with your counseling of course). u shouldn't put an age limit on sex. people develop at different rates. lol, you make it sound as if condoms are 100% safe? Look at how the word abortion is sweeting you. I wish men get pregnant also . |
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spoilt (f)
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please can people stop laying blame squarely on the mothers? Last i checked , women are always closemarking their daughters and trying to beat them into line. but when have men ever sat their sons down for that heart to heart talk? That talk that tries to encourage them to 'keep' themselves ? how do you spell hypocisy? anyone?  |
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~Lady~ (f)
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nigeria is getting influences by western culture rapidly. u watched western movies and listen to western musics. this is the internet age, u think nigerian kids can be isolated for long. i went to secondary school in naija and i knew sexual activities were going on.this was rarely discussed due to the social stigma Nigerians stupidly associate with it.
and that's where the problem lies. Our children should not become like the western children. They should not have it in their heads that when their parents beat them they can call the police. They shouldn't be left to raise themsleves. Seriously man look how rapid it is that girls are being promiscuous, or getting pregnant. You even have those that want to have babies at age 18. Many of them don't even kow who the father is.
There's nothing wrong about sex education, but telling your children it's okay to have sex as long as u use a condom is not just immoral but also detrimental to the child's health. Condoms do break, they are not 100% effective. Even the researchers and promoters of safe sex have concluded that the best way is through abstinence.
Seriously the western way is not for us, not just in family planning but also in governing (that's another topic)
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DOVERMAN (m)
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I don't seem to flow with you, my dear.
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my2cents (m)
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question:
Why is it that, in "God's own country" where sex education is taught, there is a high rate of unwanted pregnancy and at least a 50% divorce rate? Why is it that many people in such countries regard sex as a sport and any criticism of having multiple partners is met with, "don't judge me lest ye be judged"? Does that make sense?
The issue isn't the sex education or lack thereof but the lack of parenting (and in the case of one or no parents, the lack of mentoring). Everything starts at home folks, from what children here, read, see and are allowed to do. Rear a child right and they probably (note "probably") won't do anything bad. If they do, they will do so with fear. Mind you, I am not talking about, "hey, don't do that or else I will beat you" kind of rearing. This only will make a child curious and stubborn. I am talking about, "son/daughter, you know doing that is not good. If you do it, so and so could happen to you".
Take myself as an example. I am not claiming to have had the stellar child-raising but my parents never forced me to do anything. It was always a choice for which there were consequences. Take sex. My Dad told me once and once only, "son, I am not saying don't have pre-marital sex, but if you do, either you break the girl's heart, you contract a disease or you get a girl pregnant. You aren't ready for it yet. If you get a girl pregnant, that's it for your schooling, you have to marry the girl and you will leave my house". Did I have sex? Sure. But I bet you I took extra precaution not to fall into any of the categories (especially the third) spelt out above. Same applied to drinking, driving, etc. So far, I am not a weirdo. My life has turned out just fine.
As I blv Kobo has said, our problem is that we are trying so hard to be like oyibo. We should be like Oyibo but only in positive things (sending someone to the moon, coming out with the cure for AIDS, building the next car that runs on nothng but air, etc) and not the bad (wearing cap backwards, wearing our jeans below the waistline, wearing winter jacket in 30 degrees celsius, having indiscriminate sex, etc). Oyibo has their culture and we have ours, as "backward" as it may be.
As always, my 2 cents.
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