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mama orga (f)
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Peeps in and zooms off,
boring thread
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my2cents (m)
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mama,
then keep your feelings to yourself and find a less boring thread. Just because it is boring to you doesn't mean it is boring to others. I usually don't visit threads like this but I feel it is a very important issue that warrants a post.
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mama orga (f)
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@ my2cents
whatever man
keep your opinion to u too about my opinion
duuuhhh
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Nellyf
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I don't agree that birth control will help more than abstaince will. I believe that the Fear of God will. Now, if you have a God you fear (speaking as a christain) you would naturally abstain. Western culture has not helped in any way rather it's making matters worse. JUST THE FEAR OF GOD WILL DO IT.
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bawomol (m)
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lol, you make it sound as if condoms are 100% safe? Look at how the word abortion is sweeting you. I wish men get pregnant also Tongue.
please learn how to reduce, i said birth control severely reduces the chance of getting pregnant not eliminate. roe vs wade is a legal right that people in america should use when they see fit. if naija had roe vs wade, we wouldn't have illegal abortion clinics that lead to many unnecessary deaths. condoms aren't safe but they are step towards safety.
There's nothing wrong about sex education, but telling your children it's okay to have sex as long as u use a condom is not just immoral but also detrimental to the child's health
practicing safe sex isn't immoral except u are a religious conservative. it actually is helpful to the child's health.
Condoms do break, they are not 100% effective
condoms break because mugus don't know how to use them or buy condoms that are not their size. when i have kids, i would force them to watch videos on how to use male and female condoms(yes there are female condoms).
Even the researchers and promoters of safe sex have concluded that the best way is through abstinence.
please where did this "peer reviewed" research study come from. another thing, most people don't practice abstinence anyway.
Seriously the western way is not for us, not just in family planning but also in governing (that's another topic)
FYI- the western way of governing came from greece which was influenced by egypt. egypt is an african country. africans are backward because people like u refuse to adapt to the times. i was impressed when i heard Nigerians used 160 million condoms in a year. that would curb the transmission of diseases and overpopulation. my daughters if i have any would also get HPV vaccines(or is HPV vaccine immoral too). western influences combined with african traditional roots is the way to go.
I don't agree that birth control will help more than abstaince will. I believe that the Fear of God will. Now, if you have a God you fear (speaking as a christain) you would naturally abstain. Western culture has not helped in any way rather it's making matters worse. JUST THE FEAR OF GOD WILL DO IT.
of course the fear of God would do it. u know something is wrong when people fear something abstract and non-existent. i guess the fear of GOD has stopped some popes from having illegitimate children or nigeria from being the second most corrupt country in the world.
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Kobojunkie
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Children from houses where Abstinence is addressed are less likely to have sex and contract STDS as well as get pregnant when compared to kids from homes where kids are taught to use condoms and birth control.
to have a study to back this up. the American psychological association says otherwise
Are you going to tell me that nymphos do not exist in the amish/menonite and even mormon communities?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO OPEN YOUR TRAP and tell me that those boys/men in the Mormon communities who marry 16 wives can NEVER be considered NYMPHOS???
stay on topic, we are talking about abstinence vs birth control and not who is a nympho. marry 16 usually underaged wives is sick by the way. the officical mormon church abandoned polygamy years ago.
Look, your argument is that of someone who is not willing to accept that some measure of control is needed by those kids regardless of what they are taught.
read my posts again wise one. birth control is a safeguard for the kids that would breakaway from the control. not every would practice abstinence. your kids have a right to know the options available to them. it's up to them to choose what path they make. your a parent/guardian not a dictator.
The post is about getting our mothers to teach our own African babes the way of the western world. We already have a huge sample in South Africa showing how horrible that idea may turn out if implemented in the whole of Africa and you still believe mouthing off will make the realities of it all go away somehow??
teach our own african babes?? i believe sex education is for both men and women. be in denial all u want but birth control has had solid results in places like bothswana and thailand(distributing condoms to women has curbed hiv and std's there). there are more successes than failures.
These people live in the same america as you and I do
FYI: those people are a minority. more and more people are eloping from those "utopian" communities. preach abstinence all u want but remember people would do what they want.
The Menonites and even the mormons are even exposed to the same news papers and magazines and TV as you and I are
amish don't watch tv or use most forms of technology. mormons are highly conservative and avoid most forms of media. the general population of americans are not meronites. again, the US census bureau isn't lying.
I believe you are actually the one who is not staying on topic here with your many diversions,
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don't want to sound disrespectful to our mothers but this kind of touches me.read in the tribune of feb 1, a kindof research on if mothers would educate their daughters on the use of birth control pills.surprisingly, 8/9 said they would not,even in the21st cent, don't expect such nonchalance to such things
Children from houses where Abstinence is addressed are less likely to have sex and contract STDS as well as get pregnant when compared to kids from homes where kids are taught to use condoms and birth control.
to have a study to back this up. the American psychological association says otherwise
Are you going to tell me that nymphos do not exist in the amish/menonite and even mormon communities?? ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO OPEN YOUR TRAP and tell me that those boys/men in the Mormon communities who marry 16 wives can NEVER be considered NYMPHOS???
stay on topic, we are talking about abstinence vs birth control and not who is a nympho. marry 16 usually underaged wives is sick by the way. the officical mormon church abandoned polygamy years ago.
Look, your argument is that of someone who is not willing to accept that some measure of control is needed by those kids regardless of what they are taught.
read my posts again wise one. birth control is a safeguard for the kids that would breakaway from the control. not every would practice abstinence. your kids have a right to know the options available to them. it's up to them to choose what path they make. your a parent/guardian not a dictator.
The post is about getting our mothers to teach our own African babes the way of the western world. We already have a huge sample in South Africa showing how horrible that idea may turn out if implemented in the whole of Africa and you still believe mouthing off will make the realities of it all go away somehow??
teach our own african babes?? i believe sex education is for both men and women. be in denial all u want but birth control has had solid results in places like bothswana and thailand(distributing condoms to women has curbed hiv and std's there). there are more successes than failures.
These people live in the same america as you and I do
FYI: those people are a minority. more and more people are eloping from those "utopian" communities. preach abstinence all u want but remember people would do what they want.
The Menonites and even the mormons are even exposed to the same news papers and magazines and TV as you and I are
amish don't watch tv or use most forms of technology. mormons are highly conservative and avoid most forms of media. the general population of americans are not meronites. again, the US census bureau isn't lying.
LMAO!!!!!! this is awesome, to have a study to back this up. the American psychological association says otherwise
LMAO!!! you mean the same American Psychological Association that came out with a study a while back that children who were spanked as kids grew up to be vicious and violent ??LMAO!!! The same group that came out with study a while ago that if you lay your baby on it's back, it is likely to die?? The same Show me one study they have actually done on comparing their findings in the main groups with those in the Amish communities at least??? LMAO!!!! At least update yourself on the tune The american Psychological association is now playing to , http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080122203227.htm http://www.apa.org/releases/sexualization.html
stay on topic, we are talking about abstinence vs birth control and not who is a nympho. marry 16 usually underaged wives is sick by the way. the officical mormon church abandoned polygamy years ago.
I do find it interesting that someone who does not have issues with having multiple sex partners over a period of time feels another who chooses to marry all 16 of then once and for all is the sick one. Talk about WARPED point of view. LMAO!!!! read my posts again wise one. birth control is a safeguard for the kids that would breakaway from the control. not every would practice abstinence. your kids have a right to know the options available to them. it's up to them to choose what path they make. your a parent/guardian not a dictator.
No one in here has said Abstinence keeps kids from having sex 100% of the time and infact the teaching of Abstinence is to encourage them to wait, not to force them not to have sex. You seem a bit tangled in your mindset there that you can not see that from all the posts so far. Even those of us who have posted that we were taught abstinence was the best way but were not able to keep but still believe it helped, have posted but you can not seem to read the posts and process that information at all as is.
teach our own african babes?? i believe sex education is for both men and women. be in denial all u want but birth control has had solid results in places like bothswana and thailand(distributing condoms to women has curbed hiv and std's there). there are more successes than failures.
No where did I say anything about teaching ONLY african babes. If you want to make it an issue, Ramble on!!!! LMAO!!! FYI: those people are a minority. more and more people are eloping from those "utopian" communities. preach abstinence all u want but remember people would do what they want.
So now they do not count cause they are in the minority  The very fact that they happen to have lived in America longer than most of the new groups should tell you a thing or two about where you live. Life in america is a matter of choice. The people choose daily to live the lives they have now. To forego most of what the rest of america seems to believe is a part of their nature. Does that not scream CONTROL IS NEEDED and should be taught to you Regardless of what people CHOOSE to do on their own, that should not deter us from preaching what should be PREACHED. LMAO!!!!
amish don't watch tv or use most forms of technology. mormons are highly conservative and avoid most forms of media. the general population of americans are not meronites. again, the US census bureau isn't lying.
Donny and Marie family as well as the other mormons who happen to be in Hollywood should not be considered americans at all since according to you, they are just too much of a minority to be considered. Dude!!! Fact remains you are trying to do the loopty loop where it is all clear you can not. The very fact that these people have lived in America for 100's of years and still have a population that has the lowest rate of teen pregnancy, STDS and divorce SPEAKS LOUDLY of the fact that we, the general population may need to understand what it is they are doing right and try to apply it. Not the other way around by having our mothers in Africa copy all that we have done wrong in the general populace here in America. Use Reason for crying out loud!!! |
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bawomol (m)
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I believe you are actually the one who is not staying on topic here with your many diversions,
can we have a civil debate rather than point fingers. I'm totally for birth control including abortions. that's my stance on the issue. what's urs??
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BTT (m)
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This issue calls for serious concern. I remember growing up in the slummed village with my grandma. She never mentioned anything 'sex'. Yet I knew what it was at age 7!
I believe that with sex education, alot can be achieved for the human race.
Because first, sex is the state of either being male or female. Invariably, we will learn very early in life about our sexual peculiarities and consequently, dignity. Other factors follow.
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BTT (m)
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Really, I don't know what happens in Europe and the Americas, but at least we read books, watch films and documentaries as well as study data and statistics. Sirs, methink sex education has not done those societies any good!
I can speak comfortably about Africa, anywhere Africa. I love my people, I love our 'naivette', our 'barbarism', our 'crude' and 'rude', and above everything else, I love where we are coming from because it is our essence from which we do not hypocritically seek severance. The kind of sex education we are discussing on this thread has failed in its case-study societies. . .
My proves:
1. No true cultured African will support abortion, even if he/she is a 'victim'. Wonder why abortion should become an issue in a sex-educated society!
2a. The incidence of rape in Africa (pardon our war-torn zones, we will soon sort ourselves out anyway) is not anywhere near the hurdles the sophisticated American police battles with per day.
2b. Teenage pregnancy is not peculiar to any clime, creed or colour. We bear our brunt with VVF; they, abortion. . .
3. The incidence of divorce, which is destroyin (if not has destroyed) the European marriage and family institution, the foundation of every future driven society.
4. The brouhaha about STDs. . .
5. The loss of the dignity of the human body. No thanks to 'sex appeal'
6. . . .It sickens me. . .
I can go on and over again
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bawomol (m)
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The american Psychological association is now playing to , http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080122203227.htm
http://www.apa.org/releases/sexualization.htmlthe APA is a pretty credible organizations. the vast number of african americans spank their kids and see how beautiful they have turned out. I do find it interesting that someone who does not have issues with having multiple sex partners over a period of time feels another who chooses to marry all 16 of then once and for all is the sick one. Talk about WARPED point of view. LMAO!!!!there's a difference between having multiple sex partners over a period of time and having multiple partners at ONE Time. there's no mental disorder associated with having multiple partners over ones LIFETIME. he teaching of Abstinence is to encourage them to wait, not to force them not to have sex.birth control doesn't force one to have sex. it actually makes one more prepared for the risks of having sex. teaching abstinence alone would just defer the leaning curve.
No where did I say anything about teaching ONLY african babes. If you want to make it an issue, Ramble on!!!! LMAO!!!you forgot what u were arguing about. u claimed birth control was a failure but i brought up success stories in thailand and botswana. So now they do not count cause they are in the minority Huh we are talking about the GENERAL american population. that should not deter us from preaching what should be PREACHED. LMAO!!!!if u claim having sex is a CHOICE, then why must abstinence be preached? doesn't that seem like a hypocrisy and a double standard to u??
Donny and Marie family as well as the other mormons who happen to be in Hollywood should not be considered americans at all since according to you, they are just too much of a minority to be consideredu know u could just ask a question rather than making ASSUMPTIONS. anyone that has an american passport or was born in the US is an american. a sociological survey on the general american population wouldn't focus much on mormons. Fact remains you are trying to do the loopty loop where it is all clear you can not.no there's no loopty loop here. i'm pro-choice which includes abortion, birth control and even abstinence if that's what u like. my kids if i ever have kids would be exposed to all options when it pertains to sex. i rather them learn from me than from their peers or TV.
Not the other way around by having our mothers in Africa copy all that we have done wrong in the general populace here in America.i'm sorry, with all the abstinence Nigerians love to whine about. Nigeria has a 6% HIV rate. correct me if am wrong. rape happens regularly in the country and nothing is done about it. STD"s would be curbed if Nigerians were more informed about healthy sexual practices like condoms, dental dams etc. Nigeria doesn't have high divorce rates because most nigerian women hardly ever seek divorce due to the fear of being socially out casted.
Some 80% of HIV infections in Nigeria are transmitted by heterosexual sex. Factors contributing to this include a lack of information about sexual health and HIV, low levels of condom use and high levels of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea, which make it easier for the virus to be transmitted.Sex is traditionally a very private subject in Nigeria for cultural and religious reasons. The discussion of sex with teenagers, especially girls, is seen as indecent. Up until recently there was little or no sexual health education for young people and this has been a major barrier to reducing rates of HIV and other STIs. Lack of accurate information about sexual health has meant there are many myths and misconceptions about sex and HIV, contributing to increasing transmission rates as well as stigma and discrimination towards people living with HIV/AIDS.Use Reason for crying out loud!!!reason says, talk to your kids about Sex. do not hide anything from them. tell them about their options and it's risks and disadvantage. do not put an age limit on sex. there are 21yr old's who have no clue about relationships because daddy was too scared to "spoil" them.
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bawomol (m)
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The research that is available currently shows at best mixed outcomes for abstinence-based approaches to sex education, benefiting some young people in the short term but placing them at greater risks later. For example, two studies suggest that for some young people making pledges to abstain from sexual intercourse until marriage does lead to delay in the timing of their first sexual intercourse. But these young people tend to hold strong religious beliefs and enjoy being an exclusive group among peers who do not take abstinence pledges. As the researchers note this means that pledging abstinence is not appropriate for young people who do not hold strong religious views and, moreover, if lots of young people are involved in making pledges (as using abstinence education as a method of sex education requires) the sense of being special will be dissipated 32. In addition, while making an abstinence pledge may work for some groups of young people as a way of delaying when they have sexual intercourse, the majority still have sex before they are married and when they do they report using condoms less often than 'non-pledgers' and are more likely to substitute anal or oral sex for vaginal sexual intercourse 33 34.
In April 2007 a company called Mathematica Policy Research published the results of a Congressionally mandated evaluation of federally funded abstinence-based programmes in American schools 35. The investigation, which looked at four programmes offering a range of settings and strategies, found that rates of abstinence and unprotected sex in students who took part in the programmes were virtually identical to rates among students who had been randomly assigned to not take part. The ages at first sexual intercourse were also nearly identical, as were the numbers of sexual partners. It appears that the programmes had no impact on how the students behaved.
With regards to HIV prevention, a systematic review of all relevant studies 36, published in October 2007, concluded, "Evidence does not indicate that abstinence-only interventions effectively decrease or exacerbate HIV risk among participants in high-income countries; trials suggest that the programs are ineffective." Nevertheless the authors stressed the paucity of robust data and the need for more rigorous trials. They noted that most studies have been conducted among American youth, which may limit the generalisability of their findings.
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Kobojunkie
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the APA is a pretty credible organizations. the vast number of african americans spank their kids and see how beautiful they have turned out.
No where did I say the APA is not credible but like I have said over and over and many have echoed. Be careful what you pick and run with cause this same APA now says Abstinence is not really bad after all.
there's a difference between having multiple sex partners over a period of time and having multiple partners at ONE Time. there's no mental disorder associated with having multiple partners over ones LIFETIME.
So there is no mental disorder associated with having multiple partners over ones lifetime but there is one associated with having multiple wives??? LMAO!!!!!
birth control doesn't force one to have sex. it actually makes one more prepared for the risks of having sex. teaching abstinence alone would just defer the leaning curve.
Do you realize that actually talking to your kids about abstinence is sex education in and of itself?? you forgot what u were arguing about. u claimed birth control was a failure but i brought up success stories in thailand and botswana.
Arrrgghh , Birth Control worked great in a Muslim country like thailand. And in Botswana where the people were plagued by AIDS already. Interesting. So we should ignore cases like South Africa and America then?? No one is saying Birth control fails. That is again yours and no one elses. The question is is it better than what we have now and the answer from many is a resounding NO it seems since we have seen how it has not really done the job in places where it is implemented. we are talking about the GENERAL american population.
I belong to the general american populace myself and I ain't dealing with such so what does that make me in your figures?? NOT to be considered one of the GENERAL american population?? if u claim having sex is a CHOICE, then why must abstinence be preached? doesn't that seem like a hypocrisy and a double standard to u??
I completely miss your reasoning in this one. Why is telling someone that sex is a choice but it is better to wait not to be preached?? I miss the logic in your question completely. u know u could just ask a question rather than making ASSUMPTIONS. anyone that has an american passport or was born in the US is an american. a sociological survey on the general american population wouldn't focus much on mormons.
Ok, so even though they are mormons, they are still Americans and so to be discussed under the AMERICAN umbrella, right? Well there you go, why is it that their exist american communities such as those where your idea of sex education is not taught but the problems of sexual promiscuity ( STDS and what nots) are in very low numbers there ?? This is now a direct question to you, so can you answer it now?? no there's no loopty loop here. i'm pro-choice which includes abortion, birth control and even abstinence if that's what u like. my kids if i ever have kids would be exposed to all options when it pertains to sex. i rather them learn from me than from their peers or TV.
You can be pro-choice if you want and that is fine by me but that has nothing to do with this. You can raise your kids to smoke ganja for all I care but we are addressing the issue here that generally the western idea of sex education has not done a good job so why should we then choose to incorporate that into our way or life, basically replacing what we have now with what has over and over failed those who apply it
i'm sorry, with all the abstinence Nigerians love to whine about. Nigeria has a 6% HIV rate. correct me if am wrong. rape happens regularly in the country and nothing is done about it. STD"s would be curbed if Nigerians were more informed about healthy sexual practices like condoms, dental dams etc. Nigeria doesn't have high divorce rates because most nigerian women hardly ever seek divorce due to the fear of being socially out casted.
1) HIV rate in the USA is almost up to that number actually( I am not sure if the percentage you gave on Nigeria is correct). But I believe last year there was a huge outcry that the numbers were seriously on the rise and worse in the african american community. 2) More than 50% of those who have AIDS in Nigeria will tell you they knew to use condoms but did not use them. Same will apply in the USA. 3) Rape happens even more in the USA almost more than it does in Nigeria. 4) STDS have not been curbed in America where more and more ADS have in the past decade been focused on educating the general public on AIDS and STDS. Heck, teenage pregnancies have not been curbed in a country where condoms are made cool and children are taught sex education is taught them all across the country. Even Single women happen to be high on the list of STD contractors each year, women who know well to ensure use of condoms and other forms of protection. Do you not see the flaw in your argument?? STDS have yet to be curbed in South Africa which remains top five in the world after so many years of sex education campaigns and millions pumped in to teach children everywhere in the land to use protection of one sort of another. STDS have yet to be brought down in a country like South Africa where every other AD on tv for the past decade has been advertising sex and choice as well as wearing condoms. 5) Divorce like sex is a choice, right?? Some 80% of HIV infections in Nigeria are transmitted by heterosexual sex. Factors contributing to this include a lack of information about sexual health and HIV, low levels of condom use and high levels of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea, which make it easier for the virus to be transmitted. I love that whole argument that if the person contracts the disease, it simply means the person does not KNOW. LMAO!!!! Even the man who went to the bank to steal and got arrested in the process had no clue that he would get arrested if he robbed a bank , LMAO!!!! Sex is traditionally a very private subject in Nigeria for cultural and religious reasons. The discussion of sex with teenagers, especially girls, is seen as indecent. Up until recently there was little or no sexual health education for young people and this has been a major barrier to reducing rates of HIV and other STIs. Lack of accurate information about sexual health has meant there are many myths and misconceptions about sex and HIV, contributing to increasing transmission rates as well as stigma and discrimination towards people living with HIV/AIDS.
Abstinence talk includes talk about sex and it's place. If you have never listened to talk on abstinence, I suggest you go back and take a class. You might get enlightened. reason says, talk to your kids about Sex. do not hide anything from them. tell them about their options and it's risks and disadvantage. do not put an age limit on sex. there are 21yr old's who have no clue about relationships because daddy was too scared to "spoil" them.
Actually, Reason says DO NOT FOLLOW OTHERS BLINDLY!!!!!! Just cause the westerners are doing it does not mean IT IS THE RIGHT THING. Look at what it has done to them and the good and the bad before you follow blindly. I seriously suggest you have a chat with someone on what abstinence talk is about .For you to continually think it does not include addressing sex and what not already shows you do not know what it may include. So All those who had parents tell them about relationships and sex but still ended up with no idea on relationships, that is as a result of what??? LMAO!!!! Stop trying to pull in things that do not belong in this out of desperation. |
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adeboo (f)
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Personally, i would definitely talk to my baby about sex cause i think its better coming from me.
I didnt honestly know about sex and that contributed to the fact that i had ma baby at a young age.
I will tell her for sure.
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Kobojunkie
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Personally, i would definitely talk to my baby about sex cause i think its better coming from me.
I didnt honestly know about sex and that contributed to the fact that i had ma baby at a young age.
I will tell her for sure.
Would you say that other people out there who had babies at a young age did not also know about sex then cause that was the case for you ?? ( just a question is all) |
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adeboo (f)
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Would you say that other people out there who had babies at a young age did not also know about sex then cause that was the case for you ?? ( just a question is all)
No maybe not but speaking for myself, i really ddnt know. I got preggers at 18 and i didnt know how u get pregnant - i was as ignorant as they came, i didnt even know i was pregnant till about seven months - i just thought i was getting fat. But in order to let my daughter know the koko of the matter - am going to speak to her myself. I have learnt that ignorance is worse than a disease. |
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uspry1 (f)
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Personally, i would definitely talk to my baby about sex cause i think its better coming from me.
I didnt honestly know about sex and that contributed to the fact that i had ma baby at a young age.
I will tell her for sure.
I myself am single mother of two children with my knowledge of sex i taught them well. I understand what you mean. I suggest you to educate yourself learning more about sex education through public health clinic under the parenthood, they will provide you lot of handout/tracts about sex education including how to talk a child about sex. (I wish Nigeria medical clinics should have like that) I strongly believe that you will educate your daughter long before entering pre-secondary school or the day your daughter discover her first menstruation---not know where it comes from. (around age 12-14) |
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adeboo (f)
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For sure - thanks Uspry1.
I will do so.
We have started on the fact that we need to keep clean, have all the wash liquids, the body spray, body mist, perfumes ect.
So when she is at that age, i will surely tell her.
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D-reloaded (f)
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I wish I knew why people think that by knowing about contraceptives it means you will rush out and use it I know I can use a knife to kill but I havent stabbed anyone, yet  I mean I just don't get the absurd logic. Condom ads are all over the place, if you don't tell them, they will learn on their own. I just don't understand how any parent would perfer the latter. Yes everyone would rather teach abstinence which is obviously fine but despite the wish for abstinence, many people don't stick to it, so what's the best next thing? Teaching them how to AT LEAST protect themselves abi. All your "well our ancestors didnt teach her blah blah. we don't want to be poisoned by the western world" is the reason why Aids is higher there than here( the evil western countries). You people sound like bloody Arabs sef with your "we don't want to copy demonic western world style" nonsense. You think it's a coincidence that it's the races with the most religious people that have the whole babies out of wedlock dilemma. Blacks and Hispanics are the races known for leaving things to God YET they are also the same two races with the highest number of single parents/young mother. It's not a coincidence. They think that by playing dumb, keep the children in the dark and just leave it to God and pray that everything works out. Does it usually? No The difference between the two is just that for Hispanics the fathers tend to stay because they were raised not to bail out on family Point still remains that despite knowing about contraceptives and co, if a person is brought up well they will stay on the right path. Hiding information in fear that it will go that path proves bad parenting because a child that is raised with a good head on his/her shoulders wont let anything deter them from their beliefs/what they believe is right. |
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kaydee (m)
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@ Bawomol
Well said man! As You know,most Nigerians are pretenders speaking "holier" than the Holy Spirit. People Preaching abstinence that never worked anywhere. I think everybody should go back and read this guy's post
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D-reloaded (f)
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I do agree with most of what Bamowol had to say actually.
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bawomol (m)
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thanks for the compliment guys. as i have said and would continue to say, people would should be more honest about sexuality. it's a normal aspect of human life that has both risks and advantages. we can curb these risks by proper sex education rather than attaching a social stigma to it(threatening your daughters with horror stories won't help). as shown in the federal study, abstinence education didn't stop the kids from having sex compared to the kids that had safe-sex education.
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Damest09 (f)
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This is Nigeria, what do you expect? Everybody knows the unwritten social rule do not give room for that. Th culture and all those stuff is still affecting us. We are Nigerians. Africans. Things will change but gradually. Just give mothers some credits. They are trying all they could. Just appreciate them more and more and if you're wise, u will know what to do and what not to do. I believe most people can think for themselves nowadays. Everyone want to be independent and imagine your mother giving u lecture over this--- eww it will sound so----
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D-reloaded (f)
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ewwww is what is leading to the present crisis of single mothers.
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bawomol (m)
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you are right, i would rather irritate my kids than become a grandpapa by the age of 35yrs old like some of these Americans.
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Damest09 (f)
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Each for his own opinion. Give yours. The best thing you can do is to go on radio, TV, newspaper and inform all mothers they are being ignorant.
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Islander (f)
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Ok, here goes. What is all the fuss about? I think this is not only an African problem so to speak. I can still vividly recall that day when I had my first period and relayed the news to my mother. She gave me a stern look and then told me she needs to have a talk with me. I anxiously followed her onto the patio, only for my mom to tell me, well you are now a "young lady" so you must not PLAY with boys.
I was confused and went to school the next daring any boy to get close to me. I was suspended 3 tmes that month, all because I fought like a mad bull, any boy who got close to me. All because I literally believed that my mom's warning of not to "play" was what she really meant.
Thank God for "Sex Education" which was being introduced into the schools' cirriculum around that time. Don't get me wrong my mom is an educated woman. However, she did exactly what her parents did many years ago, by using the traditional method of "sex education",
Times have changed, so instead of throwing blame at them for doing what they were taught, let's educate ourselves so that when we become parents, we would do the right thing,
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stillwater (f)
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Sex is traditionally a very private subject in Nigeria for cultural and religious reasons. The discussion of sex with teenagers, especially girls, is seen as indecent. Up until recently there was little or no sexual health education for young people and this has been a major barrier to reducing rates of HIV and other STIs. Lack of accurate information about sexual health has meant there are many myths and misconceptions about sex and HIV, contributing to increasing transmission rates as well as stigma and discrimination towards people living with HIV/AIDS . Please spare me. It all boils down to principles of the person involved and not the lack of accurate information. The misconception here is that you think our mothers don't talk to us girls. Even in my home economics class in Jss 1, we discussed puberty and issues surrounding it as girls, (it was an all girls school) and my church we had an all girls' group and you join from when you are five years old. What do you think was been taught during those years? We were taught to understand our bodies while making us understand there's a need for abstainance. Our mothers do tell us and warn us about the wahala that comes with sex. Because it doesn't sound so "western" or their mode of teaching do not glorify the phrase "sex education" do not according to the poster mean they are ignorant. |
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D-reloaded (f)
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stillwater, not everyone went to the same school or church as you
Did you read adeboo's post? Due to being completely shut out from gaining any information, girl didnt even know she was pregnant til 7 months. How is ignorance not to be blamed. Yea some have been told a few things here and there but I can assure you the percentage of those who werent told anything are higher
and yes not getting accurate information IS to blame unless you care to give another reason for the high percentage of HIV patients in the continent
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Kobojunkie
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Please spare me. It all boils down to principles of the person involved and not the lack of accurate information. The misconception here is that you think our mothers don't talk to us girls. Even in my home economics class in Jss 1, we discussed puberty and issues surrounding it as girls, (it was an all girls school) and my church we had an all girls' group and you join from when you are five years old. What do you think was been taught during those years? We were taught to understand our bodies while making us understand there's a need for abstainance. Our mothers do tell us and warn us about the wahala that comes with sex. Because it doesn't sound so "western" or their mode of teaching do not glorify the phrase "sex education" do not according to the poster mean they are ignorant. I wish you could here me clapping for you. Many of these in here actually have some sort of idea that African mothers do not talk to their daughters about sex. My mum believed in abstinence and she talked talked talked about sex and it's place and consequences and what nots most all my preteen and teen life to I and my siblings. Infact, these days, I shout that she should change the subject when she starts it again with me or any of my siblings in my presence, LMAO!!! You deserve a huge applause for this @Stillwater Sex ed has been on the curriculum in both private and public schools in Nigeria for decades, but many students will tell you they got the most of it from home. Where people come up with this idea that if it is not the done as the west does it, then it is not sex ed, baffles me. Infact, if we want to copy any country in all this, we should try find out what Japan does to keep |
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Kobojunkie
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stillwater, not everyone went to the same school or church as you
Did you read adeboo's post? Due to being completely shut out from gaining any information, girl didnt even know she was pregnant til 7 months. How is ignorance not to be blamed. Yea some have been told a few things here and there but I can assure you the percentage of those who werent told anything are higher
and yes not getting accurate information IS to blame unless you care to give another reason for the high percentage of HIV patients in the continent
So, your argument is cause Adeboo, who herself told you that her case was unique, did not understand much about sex and pregnancy means all of africa is affected by that such??? I believe you better go to africa and ask the average african girl of what she knows of sex and more before you crucify them all. There are even americans who have lived longer in america than you have, that do not know of sex as adeboo's case. Many of them never get pregnant until married and never have any problems with it. Trying to make a case that doing it the way it is done right now in the western world is the best way for our African culture is what I find ridiculous. Countries in the middle east do not have as much problems with teen pregnancy as most western countries do. How come no one is calling for us to adopt the method they use in their country?? Even Japan happens to have one of the lowest teen pregnancy rates in the world today and it does not do it exactly as the rest of the western world does it. Why not instead look at Japan's model to understand what it is they are obviously doing right and copy that instead of running off with the idea that Africa does not teach sex at all?? Another is this idea that having a condom means one will actually use it. More and more cases out there are of people who knew the truth of how to use condoms and were supposed to be on the pill but did not use it. This myth that being educated about condoms automatically means it will be used is one reason why we need to start thinking of what is actually happening and what not as it is and not as we fantasize it should be instead. |
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D-reloaded (f)
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quote]Another is this idea that having a condom means one will actually use it. More and more cases out there are of people who knew the truth of how to use condoms and were supposed to be on the pill but did not use it. This myth that being educated about condoms automatically means it will be used is one reason why we need to start thinking of what is actually happening and what not as it is and not as we fantasize it should be instead. I already made this arguement in my first post here Btw As for adeboo's situation being unique? NOT REALLY. Not that unique. I've heard and SEEN such things happen. Is it really that out of the ordinary for you guys to believe that many parents rather just stay in denial about such things than talk about it? No one even said it's JUST an African thing either but since majority of us are Nigerians that is why we are using the Nigerian society as an example. Lmao @ middle east not having problems, maybe they don't have teen pregnancy crisis because they know that just being seen walking around with man is enough for them to be beheaded talkless of actually carrying around an illegitimate child. Point still remains that no one is saying that EVERY AFRICAN family is hush-hush in regards to sex education but a good % are. What you usually get is the "stay away from boys til you're married" speech once you hit puberty and you're on your way. That's NOT a enough anymore, especially seeing how different things are now, people arent getting married at 16, sex in various forms is all over the place, hoping that your child will suddenly become an ostrich and just put her head in the ground and be able to avoid all that despite barely knowing what "that" is, is pretty ridiculous. Our mothers tried but we can't follow the same step in this day and age. |
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Blatant
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Westerners tell you that you should teach your children birth control and sex education, yet their children are ever increasingly getting pregnant in their early teens.
Westerners tell you that you should never spank your child: they say it means you're teaching your child violence, yet their children are getting more violent by the day. The children who are reared these days in the west are the ones who have never recieved proper discipline at the right time and they are super violent but those who were brought up in the days when parents were allowed to discipline their children are the ones who made the countries great.
Make una dey think before una dey follow book o
My brother make you no follow book o; look am and use your sense
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