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firestar (f)
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''God did not create woman from man's head that he should command her, nor from his feet that she should be his slave, but rather from his side that she should be near his heart''
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SENATOR JD (m)
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@ fire star thats so sweet if the wife says no painful as it may seem its no, why is there the word no in the dictionary then if u can't use it?she can't always want to have sex. as long as she aint making it a regular no "thingy". if she says no 2day wait till 2mrw  |
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RichyBlacK (m)
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Good to finally see someone who's understanding my view point here. However, I wouldn't call the things a husband does to meet his wife's needs "niceties". They're not niceties, they're a part of his responsibility -- that's what he signed up for when he took her to the altar and said "I DO". He's not doing her a favor by meeting those needs, it's his responsibility and should be taken seriously. Same applies to the woman as well.
@moneybags, I see your point. However, the emotional interplay between to humans is sufficiently complex that a simple/single formula is unlikely to capture all its ramifications. Not everybody is wired like you are, no matter how much you/we wish it so. We are all wired differently, some more similarly and others very differently. For example, I prefer women who freely verbalize their feelings. I will not want to be with a woman who, instead of verbally expressing her worries to me, starts to withdraw herself emotionally first, and then expects me to decipher the code that connects her emotions to her worries. In resolving any problem in a relationship, I believe in the idea of talking about the problem instead of using negative actions/non-verbal cues, no matter how subtle. I'm a good listener and always ready to listen to my sweetheart. I tend to interpret negative actions as a deliberate and unilateral escalation of a problem, especially when the issue of concern has not been given the basic benefit of being discussed. So, I tend to prefer women who are very good in verbally, i.e., those who will tell you how they feel about any and every issue - that's my kind of woman. You, on the other hand, seem to be more responsive to negative actions/non-verbal cues, like emotional withdrawal, and then do a very good job in responding positively, both in action and in words, in the spirit of maturity and head of household. I used the words niceties , because I'll be going out of my way to try to please an emotionally cold wife, and hoping that she returns from her emotional journey, simply because she could not communicate, verbally, her worries to me. I don't like women like that. I prefer those ladies who, before going into some emotional desert, have the wherewithal to articulate their worries in words, so we can discuss them like man and wife. Same goes for me, I will not start acting out some emotional stunts without giving my woman the basic courtesy of telling her what's bothering me. Bottom line is just as some other poster mentioned, no single formula works for everybody. However, your ideas will work for some couples  |
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yemivictor (m)
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that is no solution at all. What is the point licking your lips when the milk is right there beside you? I am sure you were just joking when you told us to lie there quietly. Impossicant. i can't technically call it rape. Women love to exagerate . . . soon husbands will be accused of robbing wives at gun point.
Unless she's tired, or sick or on her period a husband shld know his wife well enough to know what he can do to get her excited enough for sex without "raping" her.
women like to say no when all they want is for u to try harder.
Solid points raised there! |
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efuah (f)
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if he has to beg he shld do so . . . if he has to touch some buttons to get her in the mood then by all means. There are always ways to get a reluctant horse to drink.
yeah, begging is good! But sometimes all da buttons wldn't be functioning no matter what. . . not in the mood is simply not in the mood! . . . wait till tomorrow, abeg, it won't take long. |
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4Him (m)
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yeah, begging is good! But sometimes all da buttons wldn't be functioning no matter what. . . not in the mood is simply not in the mood!. . . wait till tomorrow, abeg, it won't take long. there must be something wrong with that woman then. |
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efuah (f)
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4Him, yeah, exactly! When am fully pregnant, possibly can't be turning around. . perhaps lie flat on my back or side by side all night, Very sick. . . everywia is painful or too much stress from the office, all da buttons would go off!  |
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moneybags
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@moneybags, I see your point. However, the emotional interplay between to humans is sufficiently complex that a simple/single formula is unlikely to capture all its ramifications. Not everybody is wired like you are, no matter how much you/we wish it so. We are all wired differently, some more similarly and others very differently. For example, I prefer women who freely verbalize their feelings. I will not want to be with a woman who, instead of verbally expressing her worries to me, starts to withdraw herself emotionally first, and then expects me to decipher the code that connects her emotions to her worries. In resolving any problem in a relationship, I believe in the idea of talking about the problem instead of using negative actions/non-verbal cues, no matter how subtle. I'm a good listener and always ready to listen to my sweetheart. I tend to interpret negative actions as a deliberate and unilateral escalation of a problem, especially when the issue of concern has not been given the basic benefit of being discussed. So, I tend to prefer women who are very good in verbally, i.e., those who will tell you how they feel about any and every issue - that's my kind of woman. You, on the other hand, seem to be more responsive to negative actions/non-verbal cues, like emotional withdrawal, and then do a very good job in responding positively, both in action and in words, in the spirit of maturity and head of household. I used the words niceties , because I'll be going out of my way to try to please an emotionally cold wife, and hoping that she returns from her emotional journey, simply because she could not communicate, verbally, her worries to me. I don't like women like that. I prefer those ladies who, before going into some emotional desert, have the wherewithal to articulate their worries in words, so we can discuss them like man and wife. Same goes for me, I will not start acting out some emotional stunts without giving my woman the basic courtesy of telling her what's bothering me. Bottom line is just as some other poster mentioned, no single formula works for everybody. However, your ideas will work for some couples I get your point loud and clear. You're absolutely right, people are wired differently, and do express themselves in different ways. In my own case, I think the fact that I had ignored listening to my wifey's complaints for so long made her begin to withdraw. She speaks her mind but back then, I hardly ever listened -- I heard, but never listened . Even the most verbose of women will tend to get tired of talking when she begins to feel like she's talking to a brickwall . I had never been a very good listener like you, and had to learn very hard. That's a great skill you got there bro, never let it go! It's really great to see that you know exactly what you want. That's the first and most important step, in my opinion. I sincerely wish you the very best! |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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Thanks though . . . u'd make a great wife too.  Ain't u a darlin? Efuah, I agree with you |
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moneybags
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4Him, yeah, exactly! When am fully pregnant, possibly can't be turning around. . perhaps lie flat on my back or side by side all night, Very sick. . . everywia is painful or too much stress from the office, all da buttons would go off! Please tell Him! It's obvious 4Him isn't married. Sometimes NO means NO and no amount of anything will make her change her mind. |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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Moneybag and Richyblack, 
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efuah (f)
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Efuah, I agree with you Thanks Please tell Him! It's obvious 4Him isn't married. Sometimes NO means NO and no amount of anything will make her change her mind.
Yeah, he is single, free and ready to mingle. . . go to his blog. |
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holythug (m)
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efuah u & this topic
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efuah (f)
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holythug. . . me and u . . abeg, wetin i do? |
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efuah (f)
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Ain't u a darlin? ehem. . ehem  |
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4Him (m)
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Please tell Him! It's obvious 4Him isn't married. Sometimes NO means NO and no amount of anything will make her change her mind.
If you read one of my earlier posts i made an excuse for a woman who is sick, on her period or tired. the point is even as a guy there are times when sex is the last thing on your mind . . . its a matter of compromise and understanding your partner. Of course when she's pregnant the most important thing is not whether the fellow down south wants some action BUT her health and that of the baby. Sex can always wait. Ain't u a darlin?  ehem. . ehem close your eyes . . . didnt u say i was single, free and ready to mingle? |
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ahmed002
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I do not supprot the action.I think is a barbaric act. However when it come to marital rape i do not think u can prove u were raped by your husband. Since u are deemed to be one in spirit and soul.
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R-Dynamite (f)
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lmao. . . 4Him, you a clown. Efuah, leave him na funny people |
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efuah (f)
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close your eyes . . . didnt u say i was single, free and ready to mingle? ok Sir! mingle well o! lmao. . . 4Him, you a clown. Efuah, leave him na funny peopleOfcourse now. . . i will leave him for u alone. |
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dequeen (f)
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that's one day in hellllllllllll
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Dajen
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Hi everyone i just loggd on this site to send a free sms to africa and i don't know how to go about it.
Need some assistance please.
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R-Dynamite (f)
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Hi everyone i just loggd on this site to send a free sms to africa and i don't know how to go about it.
Need some assistance please.
You also need some optical assistance as well. |
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SENATOR JD (m)
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Hi everyone i just loggd on this site to send a free sms to africa and i don't know how to go about it.
Need some assistance please.
@dynamite she/he only asked an innocent question.c'mon b nice |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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@dynamite
she/he only asked an innocent question.c'mon b nice
There's a section where he can ask that. You should have been nice enough to direct him there than pick on me. Senator, abeg leave me Uncle Dajen, please go to the phones section or e.mail Seun. |
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Dalby (m)
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Is that really possible  Times exist when a man is not intrested, but s**t still happens  I do not think that it is possible in marriage, remember the vows If you guys become one then you cannot rape yourself  |
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almondjoy (f)
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The first 6 or 7 threads on this page have to do with "rape" in one fashion or another. May God help us all!
Gosh!
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Dalby (m)
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I did not see this o  @Efuah yeah, begging is good! But sometimes all da buttons wldn't be functioning no matter what. . . not in the mood is simply not in the mood!
. . . wait till tomorrow, abeg, it won't take long. Honey I hope you will be this understanding when the reverse is the case |
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SENATOR JD (m)
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There's a section where he can ask that. You should have been nice enough to direct him there than pick on me. Senator, abeg leave me Uncle Dajen, please go to the phones section or e.mail Seun. @dynamite , wasnt picking on you and u cud have done this before cudnt u? |
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efuah (f)
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I did not see this o @Efuah Honey I hope you will be this understanding when the reverse is the case Yes sweety pie . . . i will understand perfectly! |
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Dalby (m)
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@efuah You don talk o How was your weekend, hope the workload did not spill over to the house  Have a joyous week ahead |
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efuah (f)
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@Dalby Yeah hon . . . i dare not, i tried that sometime ago. . . u can imagine, master don vex like he go burst . Have a blessed weak ahead too. |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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Senator abeg sshsh!
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