23, Getting Married Soon

Thank you for being so gracious!  Goodbye and hope you find peace!  Goodluck in the future and on Nairaland!  Ain't bothered with or by you!

So off I go to other topics like you said!  Bye!

smike4keen, quit milking the "you hurt me" cow. Yea AJ was KIND of harsh in the previous comments bht if you read in between the lines, we ALL know she's saying the utmost truth

19 is too YOUNG right now, she doesnt have a degree of her own. Why would YOU even allow her to do such a thing if you love her? If you truly loved her you'd wnat her to better herself first or am I crazy?  

Seriously, I don't think any man who can't sincerely say "I'm getting married and I'm fine with it" should ever go down the aisle, it's so obvious how paranoid you are about it, the fact that it's too early, obviously it's like you're being rushed. what is the cause? You need to talk to your girl about this, if shes like any other female she'll see this as a way for yiou to run away but you have to assure her that you are questionijkng it because you are thinking OF HER.

Convenience of course--I think!

_{Na you go tell me which thread I go to for this Nairaland?--because you own all the reply buttons?}

Because na your papa get the website!  My apologising to you was the right thing to do, not a sign of weakness ok?
So do not press your luck.

Look here honey, you may have started the thread but no be your website.  If you own one, then I will not visit.  If I see something interesting to comment on I will come back.

I say I respect you, no mean say a dey fear you ooooooooooooooh!  

Make you shine you eyes well well!

*sighs* AlmondJ, I think you should let the poster be.

aj leave am jare. The boy too sensitive sef.

Obviously doesnt want to accept what everyone has been saying whcih is why he's still mourning your past comments

do u need a british visa? 

AJ, seriously, you need to stop. You're acting too childish as well.

smile4ken I've read your posts here on this forum  and admire you and I commend you for being brave enough to post this here under the name we know you by rather than hide under some name.
First off,I won't condemn you for wanting to marry someone as long as she's an adult and in this case the girl is.
Secondly her parents agree to the marriage.
No matter what we say here,the decision is ultimately yours and hers.

It's not a crime to marry an 18 year old.
Infact many 18 year old girls are more mature than some 30 year olds.
The only  concern I have is how prepared you are to handle marriage and all that it entails.
In your initial post ,you ended by saying "should I give it a trial"?
Marriage is not trial and error ,you have to go in with the mindset that this would be for life.
Have you told your parents and siblings and what do they say?

I would advise that you don't rush.
You both should wait at least 2 years.
At that time you may be better prepared emotionally to handle marriage.
And if you really love each other,she'll be prepared to wait too.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you should have absolutely no doubts before stepping in.

sorry, then why the haste if you arent feeling her? 
i'm married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. No jokes.

@ poster the highlighted areas above worry me.
I say,give it some time and don't take marriage so casually

case closed!

Yeah yeah yeah!  And what happened to his father?  I hope you realize also that Barack Obama was raised by a single mother and her parents--whites! His white grandparents had to shoulder all the burden while "Mr. Africa" took off for greener pastures.   He has not seen his father since he was 2!!!!!! His Kenyan father disappeared when he was only 2 years old and has never re-surfaced since then!

Hmmmmmmmmmmm! The reason history keeps repeating itself is because people keep making the same mistakes over and over again!  Looks like we are about to have a de ja vu here!

Next!

Tpia, I tend to agree with alot of your posts but I'm sorry this is quite untrue. Desperation reeks out of most Nigerian girls now, esp the ones that live there. They could date a guy for like 2 weeks and immediately claim husband, you even have examples on on Nigeria, guys gas up their heads with "yea now this is my wifey lol lol" and they dey claim they have husband, husband for where?

Girls trying to rush into marriage is a typical girl thing because majority of them just THINK of the whole Wedding part, they forget everything else

smike, what has osisi said that we havent said and stop trying to cover up with "oh I just don't thik it's  big deal because it's a court thing", if that was all you worried abouyt you wouldnt keep haping on the fact that it's an "early marriage". Obviously you believe it's too soon, best you do something about that .

@ everyone: you all speak true.

I was considering a Nigerian girl marrying right out of secondary school. I don't know too many instances of that, these days. Of course back in the olden days girls married at 16, 17 or 18, but I don't know too many instances now. Most Nigerian females like to further their education first, and it would be relatively rare for the parents to agree to the marriage of their 19 year old daughter. In a normal Nigerian scenario that is.

@AJ: so true about Obama's family background. Unfortunately, also true about many other marriages- some of which don't even last one year after the ceremony and people spending money on wedding gifts. Something that annoys me to no end- buying wedding gifts only to learn the couple broke up overnight. Not only young couples o.


@ R-Dynamite: free will as opposed to forced marriages. Some girls do marry quite young due to their parents or guardians wishes. But that wouldnt seem to be the case here.


why the guys no contribute sef? Too busy elsewhere? I mean why are no reasonable guys contributing.

Smile4kenn
please don't get so touchy now.Almond has apologised. You have to consider this so carefully. Marriage is not one big joke okay. There is no need to regret posting this here. Inasmuch as there are jokers here,there are also those ones who have a good head b/w their shoulders.

Ken,think it over. Do not come back here with your decision. there are a few points to consider- Is a 19yr old ready for marriage? Truth is she may turn around to blame you for the oppurtuinities she'll feel you deprived her of.I have a friend who cries 24hrs of the day saying she regrets marrying her husband when she did. Do not make a hasty decision. Is she pregnant? Please tell us, then our advice may turn out to be different.

You are 23.Do you have an income? how do you intend to cater for her and any kids that may come by? Are you emotionally mature for marriage? You alone can answer that. There are many thing to take into consideration. Like my mother told me when i announced my husband had proposed to me,  Marriage is not just about love making. there is alot more to it.

All the best.

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