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tpia
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May be you're talking about the very wretched, hunger and poverty plagued families??
that or the ones who betroth their kids at birth or when they're quite young, in the name of building ties. |
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almondjoy (f)
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Infact let me concentrate on the girl. If it were my 19 old daughter--I will absolutely make her know how displeased I am with the whole thing. Court marriage? Is that how we marry? If you mean business, you will get parents involved not some hush-hush kind of clandestine marriage to save cost! I know a 19 old is an emancipated adult in most civilized countries. I will definitely let her know I am not in support of it. Not to generalize or assume anything. How many of us here thought about marriage at 19? If not for pregnancy?  Most 19 females all over the world are not thinking of marriage unless they got knocked up or dropped out of school. Like I said if she is pregnant--fine, she can go ahead. If not, her only business is to be in school helping herself not thinking about marriage. When frustration comes tomorrow, we will see things like abandonement, domestic abuse and so on and so forth. Let her graduate first, before she thinks of marriage. The poster has got some of his education thingy down packed. Let her have a chance to do just that too! Is is not selfish that a man will think of marrying a teenager who should be in school. Knowing what we know about the status of women in every society in this world. Divorce rate is above 50%, with baby mamas all over the place with no fathers around. When this 19 fails to cope--she is back in her parents house--that is if they let her back in like Barack Obama's mother. Better safe than sorry. Let the girl go to school first. They are still young. He should wait!  |
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tpia
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no daughter of mine can get married at age 19, unless she elopes and does it without my consent.
I don't know smile4kenn's exact situation, which is why I'm trying to see things from his angle. besides, I have a relation who married at age 17 or so, though that was back in the day. Her marriage is still okay now and the kids all grown and doing fine. Might be one reason why I find it difficult to be totally against smile4kenn's idea.
I tend to be rather sceptical about marriages in general these days, regardless of the couple's age anyway. Too many complaints and problems after the ceremony. No matter the couple's age, nationality or color.
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pahtahkee
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@ smile4kenn,
Maturity does not come with age, it comes with the acceptance of responsibility! Have you sincerely asked yourself are you truly and totally ready to bear the responsibility of marriage with her for a lifetime now?
Even though I hold my reservations about how old your wife to be is, who am I to state that she is not matured enough to know the responsibilities involved with marriage?
Have you asked yourself in the next 10 years what would the marriage look like?
Well I have a Dutch guy here who is just 22 years of age doing his masters and got married last year. Even at that young age he displays a high level of maturity that you do think he is 40 years of age.
There are cases of 50 year old men and women who still reason like babies, even this forum is a classical example to such personalities.
That you refuse to throw up with rage following the set of words directed to you on this thread speaks volume of how coolheaded you are.
In conclusion, there are decisions you do have to make in life that will not always augur well with everyone. While you are ready to listen their opinions and views, the onus is on you to make your decision and stand to it no matter how it goes.
All the best.
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almondjoy (f)
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no daughter of mine can get married at age 19, unless she elopes and does it without my consent.
I don't know smile4kenn's exact situation, which is why I'm trying to see things from his angle. besides, I have a relation who married at age 17 or so, though that was back in the day. Her marriage is still okay now and the kids all grown and doing fine. Might be one reason why I find it difficult to be totally against smile4kenn's idea.
I tend to be rather sceptical about marriages in general these days, regardless of the couple's age anyway. Too many complaints and problems after the ceremony. No matter the couple's age, nationality or color.
Amen! Please times have changed. Things are even worse now and you cannot compare it to those days. Not even 10 years ago. Unless she is pregnant I say! When I know she is still a baby! Maturity or not. Let her get at least a 1st degree. So if things do not work out, she has something to fall back on instead of being a liability to me and future prospective suitors! In fact this girl is not even 19 yet! Still waiting to be 19. How many of us as girls knew what the heck was going on at 21 not to talk of 18 or 19, never mind that we are in a different era. It is even worse now with the ever climbing percentages of divorce rates! As usual the men will say one thing and the women will say another. Like if it were their daughters, they would allow such to happen! You guys should plan to give your 19 year old daughters away in marriage with a high school diploma and see how it feels! |
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D-reloaded (f)
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Not everyone is a hot-headed passive aggressive lunatic like you, paraki  |
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blue-sky (f)
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interesting topic, hmmmmmmm!
well im 19, and living in the UK, and would never consider getting married at this age. At age 19, u might think your now an adult, but we are far from it. I am a little surprised that the parents are ok with this, is the girl nigerian? Another thing i find shocking is that u both have been having a long distant relationship, you don't live in the same country, let alone the same city, so how would you know if you both can cope seeing each other everyday? If you really love her and she loves you, whats the rush? your both still young, why not let her finish her studies and you get yourself finiancially stabled, and into the property ladder before you start planning of marriage. However this is my own view.
My friend who is also 19 is engaged with her boyfriend, they are both white, but theyre not thinking of marrying any time soon. If you are really set on marrying this girl, why don't u still be engaged, but wait until the time is right for the wedding.
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amsky (f)
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smile4kenn dearie,a word is enough for the wise. If you decide to go ahead,just know that there are lots of hurdles to overcome. There is nothing more to be said. |
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almondjoy (f)
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Not everyone is a hot-headed passive aggressive lunatic like you, paraki  |
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almondjoy (f)
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@ smile4kenn,
Maturity does not come with age, it comes with the acceptance of responsibility! Have you sincerely asked yourself are you truly and totally ready to bear the responsibility of marriage with her for a lifetime now?
Even though I hold my reservations about how old your wife to be is, who am I to state that she is not matured enough to know the responsibilities involved with marriage?
Have you asked yourself in the next 10 years what would the marriage look like?
Well I have a Dutch guy here who is just 22 years of age doing his masters and got married last year. Even at that young age he displays a high level of maturity that you do think he is 40 years of age.
There are cases of 50 year old men and women who still reason like babies, even this forum is a classical example to such personalities.
That you refuse to throw up with rage following the set of words directed to you on this thread speaks volume of how coolheaded you are.
In conclusion, there are decisions you do have to make in life that will not always augur well with everyone. While you are ready to listen their opinions and views, the onus is on you to make your decision and stand to it no matter how it goes.
All the best.
Hmmmmmmmm! Give your daughter to him to marry too when she turns 19 without a college education in 2030. Yes, he is cool headed. Not every one is like you, as previously noted! Why are you holding reservations concerning the girls age? Infact, why don't you be the rabi and marry them off! |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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I am a little surprised that the parents are ok with this, is the girl nigerian?
For reading sake people, she's not Nigerian! Why don't you read before you post? She's freaking Bri'ish! Another thing i find shocking is that u both have been having a long distant relationship, you don't live in the same country, let alone the same city, so how would you know if you both can cope seeing each other everyday?
Where did you get all this from? |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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Dude is free to marry at whatever age. If his parents consent and the girl's parents are okay with it, then he's good to go. Besides, the dude didn't say that the girl has dropped out of skul and never intends to study again  She might still continue with her education after their wedding. Haven't you seen fathers and mothers at 40+ doing their undergraduate let alone a 19 yr old? And he never mentioned anything about having babies now. I've seen "matured" couples rushing to file for divorce even after their second marriage. This marriage may work out for them or may not, just like every other marriage. I agree they're still young but if they want it and really love each other, then good for them. It may be hard for them at some point but I'm sure their parents will assist them. I don't think it's as crazy as we think it is. Sometimes, one keeps waiting to be "matured" to make the right decisions but end up in misery. Still not sure about his reasons though.
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pahtahkee
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Hmmmmmmmm! Give your daughter to him to marry too when she turns 19 without a college education in 2030. Yes, he is cool headed. Not every one is like you, as previously noted! Why are you holding reservations concerning the girls age? Infact, why don't you be the rabi and marry them off! Not everyone is a hot-headed passive aggressive lunatic like you, paraki Trouble maker! Pity pity. They begin to attack ones undies as if one is the cause of their headache. Just one question: How can one be passive, hot-headed and aggressive all at the same time? Just like A congressional candidate in Texas once said and I quote: "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." it depicts what you D-reloaded is trying to do here I pity you and almondjoy gidi gan Shior. Dude is free to marry at whatever age. If his parents consent and the girl's parents are okay with it, then he's good to go. Besides, the dude didn't say that the girl has dropped out of skul and never intends to study again She might still continue with her education after their wedding. Haven't you seen fathers and mothers at 40+ doing their undergraduate let alone a 19 yr old? And he never mentioned anything about having babies now. I've seen "matured" couples rushing to file for divorce even after their second marriage. This marriage may work out for them or may not, just like every other marriage. I agree they're still young but if they want it and really love each other, then good for them. It may be hard for them at some point but I'm sure their parents will assist them. I don't think it's as crazy as we think it is. Sometimes, one keeps waiting to be "matured" to make the right decisions but end up in misery. Still not sure about his reasons though.
You have spoken with great sense! You have said all I could say. Thank you so much. At least I can leave safely now, knowing that at least someone else spoke something tangible. GOODBYE THREAD! |
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tpia
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another example: Kobe Bryant. Though he's not a regular everyday guy by any standards. Wasnt Kanu Nwankwo's wife also rather young when they married? I think she had her degree though. Maybe some parents wouldnt object if the guy is rich and plans to encourage the daughter to better herself. from wiki: On April 18, 2001, 22 year-old Kobe and 18 year-old Vanessa were married at St. Edward the Confessor Catholic Church in Dana Point, California. There were only about 12 guests at the wedding.
In 2003 Kobe and Vanessa also purchased a home for Vanessa's mother, Sofia Ubrieta just around the corner from their home so she could be closer to her grandchildren.
Vanessa Bryant is the only person in the world to own an automatic-only Lamborghini Murciélago. For her 19th birthday (May 5, 2001) Kobe gave her the car as a gift. According to car enthusiast magazine Dub, upon realizing Vanessa could not drive a manual transmission, Kobe had the car converted to an automatic by having a special adapter for the transmission installed. The estimated cost of the car after conversion and customization was $400,000.
In May 2005, Kobe surprised Vanessa with a $50,000 recommitment ceremony in Laguna Beach, California
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4Him (m)
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tpia, the Kobe example is inappropriate. If the author of this thread had $400,000 as life savings he wont be here asking for your comments, he'd be long married.
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tpia
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tpia, the Kobe example is inappropriate. If the author of this thread had $400,000 as life savings he wont be here asking for your comments, he'd be long married.
I'm not necessarily emphasizing the money aspect, but also the ages. Kobe was 22 while his wife was 18 when they got married. Dont know how rich smile4kenn is, but for the girl's parents to agree, then he must be doing quite well, imo. I have to say my major puzzle here is how the girlfriend's parents are in support of their daughter marrying so early. |
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nwando
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biko who says married people can't go to school ?
almond you no marry go do ya pharm D ?
let's not discourage this man and his love.
If he's sure that's what he wants by all means let them do it.
My only concern is that the guy sounds unsure of marriage,for that reason they ought to give it time.
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almondjoy (f)
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biko [
b]who says married people can't go to school ?[/b]
almond you no marry go do ya pharm D ?
let's not discourage this man and his love.
If he's sure that's what he wants by all means let them do it.
My only concern is that the guy sounds unsure of marriage,for that reason they ought to give it time.
Yes! After I had a first degree oooooooh. And I had a lot of help and God knows ma parents insulted me everyday--because they had to pay partially for ma education, and the marriage nearly pack up for the grace of God. Why do you think I am worried about this babe? If na your daughter, you go gree? I can't allow that because I have been in those shoes! Hell!  Very difficult. |
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almondjoy (f)
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Pity pity. They begin to attack ones undies as if one is the cause of their headache. Just one question: How can one be passive, hot-headed and aggressive all at the same time? Just like A congressional candidate in Texas once said and I quote: it depicts what you D-reloaded is trying to do here I pity you and almondjoy gidi gan Shior. You have spoken with great sense! You have said all I could say. Thank you so much. At least I can leave safely now, knowing that at least someone else spoke something tangible. GOODBYE THREAD! And please do not come back! Pity yourself!  What a pest! Madman!For reading sake people, she's not Nigerian! Why don't you read before you post? She's freaking Bri'ish!
Where did you get all this from?
I did not want to even mention it, but now that it has come up I might as well. Go and read his posts and you will find where she got all that. *1st he is 23. *he left Nigeria for Japan, I guess--"many years ago"--on a student's visa? *then he dated this girl online or by correspondence for like 2 years--long distance, how? we don't know. doing his master's and his visa is about to expire? *then they have only been "close for" 6 months.--in Uk--visa about to expire while visiting? *he is a proud Nigerian without a "dual" living where? So he only has a Nigerian passport.Hooking up with 19 year old British babe is very suspicious to me. He only mentioned the girl's parents, what about his own parents? Now I see why he wanted me to leave this thread and visit others! Hmmm!  then he says ---"am sure we are in love" Well, we know better! He is a Nigerian, the girl is British. Is he a British citizen? Is he in the Uk now or plans to go there for the wedding? Did he visit and score a goal while there and wants the wedding sharp sharp? Too many T junctions abeg. Too many questions to answer abeg! |
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D-reloaded (f)
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hahaha asiri ti tu, AJ don expose suspcious moves. CSI Las Vegas! parakio, shut up jare. A passive aggressive person is usually a hothead, they just don't show their aggression outright, hence the passive. Look it up for I was once their queen  |
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smile4kenn (m)
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Hello,
Thanks everyone for the comment and i thnk i will be going on with the marriage.
AJ, let me put u through.
Yes am 23, i just turned 23 few days ago, thats on valentine's day.
Point of correction, i didnt meet the girl online, I met her on a UN youth model conference.
Second, i have been to london, but i didnt go there looing for the girl.
Another point is that they now live in japan because her parents work here, They have been living here for so many years back.
What da heck is your problem about visa, I use Nigerian passport and didnt tell u i have visa problem. I will never get visa problem because am a resident.
The girl have 2 years more to get her degree, that means she i an undergraduate now.
I am not in UK now, but in Asia with my Wife to be.
For those of you who want to know how much my account worths, well I am more than financially ok for my age.
Thanks Everyone, am out of this thread and will update you guys about my marriage, Your contributions helped alot.
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pahtahkee
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Hello,
Thanks everyone for the comment and i thnk i will be going on with the marriage.
AJ, let me put u through.
Yes am 23, i just turned 23 few days ago, thats on valentine's day.
Point of correction, i didnt meet the girl online, I met her on a UN youth model conference.
Second, i have been to london, but i didnt go there looing for the girl.
Another point is that they now live in japan because her parents work here, They have been living here for so many years back.
What da heck is your problem about visa, I use Nigerian passport and didnt tell u i have visa problem. I will never get visa problem because am a resident.
The girl have 2 years more to get her degree, that means she i an undergraduate now.
I am not in UK now, but in Asia with my Wife to be.
For those of you who want to know how much my account worths, well I am more than financially ok for my age.
Thanks Everyone, am out of this thread and will update you guys about my marriage, Your contributions helped alot.
Very good! Where is that fake Inspector Gadget called almondjoy and her follow follow person? Postulating fake assumptions according to her fantasies. Orisirisi, the things some people think with their brains! Chai! Na only UK every british dey stay? Expand your reasoning abeg! @ Smile4kenn, Make your decisions and stand by it! hahaha asiri ti tu, AJ don expose suspcious moves. CSI Las Vegas! parakio, shut up jare. A passive aggressive person is usually a hothead, they just don't show their aggression outright, hence the passive. Look it up for I was once their queen You were once the queen of lunatics Who restored you to the path of sanity? 4Him? Wahala dey your own end oh. I dey waka. GOODBYE THREAD! |
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almondjoy (f)
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Hello,
Thanks everyone for the comment and i thnk i will be going on with the marriage.
AJ, let me put u through.
Yes am 23, i just turned 23 few days ago, thats on valentine's day.
Point of correction, i didnt meet the girl online, I met her on a UN youth model conference.
Second, i have been to london, but i didnt go there looing for the girl.
Another point is that they now live in japan because her parents work here, They have been living here for so many years back.
What da heck is your problem about visa, I use Nigerian passport and didnt tell u i have visa problem. I will never get visa problem because am a resident.
The girl have 2 years more to get her degree, that means she i an undergraduate now.
I am not in UK now, but in Asia with my Wife to be.
For those of you who want to know how much my account worths, well I am more than financially ok for my age.
Thanks Everyone, am out of this thread and will update you guys about my marriage, Your contributions helped alot.
Thank you for the clarifications and standing up for the facts. That is all I they wanted. Goodluck and keep us them posted. You are one heck of a coolheaded guy and I have not changed my mind about you despite the "goings- on" here. Take care of yourself your wife to be. Remember people who love you the most are people who tell you the truth. You have a chance at succeeding in whatever you do and I really believe that in ma heart. Just send us photoshoots of the little one or ones.One more thing--never go to bed mad! Go well brother and all the best! You are older than this guy here and all I can do is weep profusely for you. How many people you get beef with for this thread? The poster say im don go, now you wan make the thread your own? Please you are not qualified. You need to thank me for ma investigative brainstorming, because despite the fact that the poster absolutely detests my guts--I wonder why, for a have the utmost regard for him as an extremely decent Nairaland member--infact one of the best --- he at least answered ma questions so you all can be better educated about this subject. You just kept shadowing him like a pest even "Raid" could not eliminate. Anywhere trouble dey you go just appear like ghost. You betcha watch your back before someone strips you of your coporal "nwanfor rainbow coalition undies"!  Frankly we do not want to know what "horus" horrors lies beneath. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Yes! Goodbye! What a busy body!**************THE END!!!!***************** |
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odiaseo (m)
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Getting married is probably the greatest decision anyone can make. It should have been well thought out by the intended couple with the determination to make it work. Love should be the motivating factor but isn't the only factor. However one of the issues you may have to deal with is setting boundaries for friends and family members after marriage. You may want to know the dynamics of friends and friendship in marriage. Wisdom worth having!! |
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D-reloaded (f)
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Remember people who love you the most are people who tell you the truth. Exactly and quit being a jerk, paraki, don't know why you are acting like we are the only ones baffled by the OP's nonchalant behavior towards this whole marriage thing. Why arent you attacking osisi, she asked pretty much the same question which is why would he go ahead and get married if he fears it's an "early marriage", that is all. sheesh. |
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R-Dynamite (f)
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LMAO! Joy, u must be having a throbbing headache by now Your behaviour on this thread has been very embarrassing, seriously. I hope you don't handle your marriage in the same manner |
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almondjoy (f)
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LMAO! Joy, u must be having a throbbing headache by now Your behaviour on this thread has been very embarrassing, seriously. I hope you don't handle your marriage in the same manner In what way? I did not even use one single profanity. You are complaining! Name one embarrasing thing I did other than delete the insultive post I really should not have put up here? Nonsense! All this one you are doing here, if this bobo where to choose a wife from all of us on this thread--males included, he will definitely choose me. He will come back for me. As you can see he came back specially to address just me---because I was on his mind. That is how you know people who are marriage materials--you cuss yourselves out and make sweeeeeeet love later. Nothin deeey happen! He will never forget me for sure. You guys do not know anything. Of course I handle ma marriage in such similar fashion-the reason it has a lot of spunk as ma profile picture shows. You fight hard and you *I**** hard afterwards for eternal bliss! It takes a real man to handle all that "load" and a real woman to "carry" it! You think say na only De-reloaded deey reload? Exactly
and quit being a jerk, paraki, don't know why you are acting like we are the only ones baffled by the OP's nonchalant behavior towards this whole marriage thing. Why arent you attacking osisi, she asked pretty much the same question which is why would he go ahead and get married if he fears it's an "early marriage", that is all. sheesh.
Infact, this one I have to be very careful about--her mouth can change at any time!Oh knock it off! You were on his good side--he thanked you. If you piss him off he might come back for you and I can't stand the competition. He has set the records straight. Which one you dey sef? Osisi's approach was different now. Unfortunately the poster was still upset by my stuff I wrote to him and paraki only attacks the ones he loves! As for that paraki? Oh Gosh! What a pest a say! Chai! I fear you! |
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tpia
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Nonsense! All this one you are doing here, if this bobo where to choose a wife from all of us on this thread--males included, he will definitely choose me. He will come back for me. As you can see he came back specially to address just me---because I was on his mind. That is how you know people who are marriage materials--you cuss yourselves out and make sweeeeeeet love later. Nothin deeey happen! He will never forget me for sure ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chei!!!!!!!!!!I'm supposed to be busy ooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to block this nairaland on my computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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pahtahkee
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See how them dey fight each other over another person wedding matter! Una no get shame at all (almondjoy and D-reloaded). I don finally leave thread for una. Abeg make none of you reply me, or else I maybe forced to come back and respond again. |
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Gamine (f)
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hmmh hmm see how people dey shaya this guy o I do know that maturity no be age but there is a time for everything o |
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smile4kenn (m)
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Mehn, i don tire
you guys are funny ohh.
abeg all of us be friendz,
Joy, na wa for u, who ask u if u be wife material, well like your politeness
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darkey (m)
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i didnt rily go through everything that has been goin on but i read and first post. the part of you giving the whole marriage thing a trail means(to me) that u want to experiment it. doesnt sound that u av intentions to make it a lifetime thing. it's suppose to b that. until u rily want to b with her for the rest of your life, i advise u take your time until you're rily sure. ciao in your decisions
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