Ijebu Man

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Date: October 14, 2008, 04:42 PM
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Nairaland Forum  |  Entertainment  |  Jokes Etc  |  Ijebu Man
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Author Topic: Ijebu Man  (Read 1012 views)
tytylayor (f)
Ijebu Man
« on: February 19, 2008, 05:18 PM »

A young Ijebu man walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he is going to Lagos on a vacation, for two weeks, and need to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer told him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Ijebu man handed over the keys to a new brand BMW 6 series. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Ijebu man produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Ijebu man, for using an $80,000 BMW as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the BMW into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later, the Ijebu man returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a successful business man. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'

The Ijebu Man replied : 'Where else in New York City can i park my car for two weeks and pay only $15.41 and expect the car to be there when i return?'
The bank employees watched as he pulled out of the garage, windows down and sunroof open. Juju music blasting from his car, as he pulled away.
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #1 on: February 19, 2008, 05:43 PM »

Making A Bet At The Bar     
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"


tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #2 on: February 20, 2008, 02:50 PM »

A MAN, HIS GIRLFRIEND AND their PARROT.
     
there was a man leaving with his parrot and the girlfriend pay them a visit,
meanwhile the girl is not beautiful immediately the parrot saw her.
the parrot said madam you wohwoh, so the girl report the parrot to
 the man and the guy beat the hell out off the parrot, the same thing
 happen again. these time the merely kill the parrot. the girl now go to
salon to do her hair makeup to look more beautiful, immediately the
parrot saw her the parrot said madam U SABI WETIN YOU BE, i no go tell you   
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #3 on: February 22, 2008, 06:36 PM »

A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.             

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. 
               
So he took his Batman costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. 
               
In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. 
               
She put on a Goldilocks costume. So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around 
on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he cuddle and copping a little a feel here and a little kiss there. 
               
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. 
               
After some more to drink he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and h ad a quickie in the back seat.  Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. 
               
She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. 
               
"Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"  He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there,  I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening." 
               
"You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. 
               
To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad. Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a Goldilocks outfit" 
             
Moral of the story:  Don't try to sneak up on your man!!!
TOYOSI20 (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #4 on: February 23, 2008, 02:13 AM »

Good job, nice
Migines (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #5 on: February 23, 2008, 10:50 AM »

Bravo!!!
*hands for da lady*
clemcykul
Re: Ijebu Man
« #6 on: February 23, 2008, 03:11 PM »

hehehee lmao Grin
segunpc (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #7 on: February 25, 2008, 01:39 PM »

u try.

thumbs up.
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #8 on: February 25, 2008, 02:14 PM »

oh ok
oluomok (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #9 on: February 25, 2008, 06:06 PM »

than u all, gbogbo yin le gbinyan ju
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #10 on: February 25, 2008, 07:11 PM »

olumorock  Grin welkum
daychris (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #11 on: February 25, 2008, 09:16 PM »

hi tyty, good job
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #12 on: February 26, 2008, 04:04 PM »

daychris tnx
hw u dey  Wink
buzzgonz (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #13 on: February 26, 2008, 04:06 PM »

*cough*   Cheesy
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #14 on: February 26, 2008, 04:10 PM »

y u dey cough  Huh Huh Huh
Lolabbey
Re: Ijebu Man
« #15 on: February 26, 2008, 04:12 PM »

God knows
buzzgonz (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #16 on: February 26, 2008, 04:20 PM »

Abeg una get cough medicine? Embarrassed
ximo (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #17 on: February 27, 2008, 10:51 AM »

[b]
                   TITI E BI LIKE SAY YOU LIKE IJEBU MEN,JUST ADMIT IT AND I WILL GET YOU

ONE. Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked
clemcykul
Re: Ijebu Man
« #18 on: February 27, 2008, 11:47 AM »

*upgrades ximo's brain to a demo version*

must u capitalize?

heyy saucekid wats up Huh
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #19 on: February 27, 2008, 12:41 PM »

Quote from: ximo on February 27, 2008, 10:51 AM
[b]
 TITI E BI LIKE SAY YOU LIKE IJEBU MEN,JUST ADMIT IT AND I WILL GET YOU

ONE. Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

Ximo i rove ijebu man wella
haboye (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #20 on: February 27, 2008, 01:22 PM »

nice one,stil lmoa
Lohlarh (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #21 on: February 27, 2008, 03:10 PM »



Nice jokes tyty, can't stop laffin Grin
thumps up 4u girl Wink
clemcykul
Re: Ijebu Man
« #22 on: February 27, 2008, 03:36 PM »

u get thumb Huh Shocked Grin
Lohlarh (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #23 on: February 27, 2008, 03:59 PM »



clemcy y u dey shi for me now Smiley

Well na u get ur mouth sha, u fit yarn anytin o,olodo oshi Tongue
clemcykul
Re: Ijebu Man
« #24 on: February 27, 2008, 04:46 PM »

oloshi buruku an kashe baban tunde Grin

ema ri nko ti ma she funye Grin see ur left leg Wink
success123 (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #25 on: February 27, 2008, 04:49 PM »

what happen to the left leg ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #26 on: February 27, 2008, 06:23 PM »

tnx to all  Grin tot nobody wnts to comment initially  Grin
naijababe2 (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #27 on: February 28, 2008, 12:12 AM »

very funny especially that last joke, can't imagine how father and daughter would dance so sexy without knowing it. lol.
Thug Life (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #28 on: February 28, 2008, 12:21 AM »

Good one
ituen (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #29 on: February 28, 2008, 11:06 AM »

Ty,

clap for yourself
tytylayor (f)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #30 on: February 28, 2008, 11:52 AM »

 Grin Grin Grin kpa kpa, kpa kpa kpa kpa milo  Grin Grin Grin Grin

thx
ituen (m)
Re: Ijebu Man
« #31 on: February 28, 2008, 11:57 AM »

Why u dey clap with one hand na Wink Wink Wink Wink
 Hi  Saula (lagos Agbero President) And His Arithmetic  Never Underestimate A Kid  Page 2
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