Baked Beans

One day I met a sweet  gentleman and fell in love.
>>  When it became apparent that we would  marry, I made the supreme
>> sacrifice and gave up baked beans.
>> Some months  later, on my birthday my car broke down on the way home
>> from work. Since I  lived in the countryside I called  my husband and
>> told him that I  would be late because I had to walk home.
>> On my way, I passed by a small  diner and the odor  of baked beans was
>
>> more than I could stand. With  miles to walk, I  figured that I would
>> walk off any ill effects by the  time I reached home, so I stopped at
>> the diner and before I knew it, I had  consumed three  large orders of
> baked beans.
>> All the way home, I made  sure that I released all the gas. Upon my
>> arrival, my husband seemed  excited to see me and  exclaimed
>> delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise  for dinner tonight."
>> He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at  the dinner table.
>> I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my  blindfold, the
>> telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch  the blindfold until  he
> returned and went to answer the
> call.
>>
>> The baked beans I had consumed  were still  affecting me and the
>> pressure was becoming most  unbearable, so while my  husband was out
>> of the room I seized the  opportunity, shifted my  weight to one leg
>> and let one go. It was not  only loud, but it smelled like a
>> fertilizer truck running over a skunk in  front of a pulpwood mill.
>> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the  air around me vigorously.
>
>> Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped  off  three more. The
>> stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
>> Keeping  my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other
>> room, I went on  like this for another few minutes.
>>  The pleasure was  indescribable.
>> When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of  my
>> freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more  times with my napkin,
>> placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on  it feeling very
> relieved and pleased with myself.
>>
>> My face must have been the picture of  innocence when my husband
>> returned, apologizing for taking so long.  He  asked me if I had
>> peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him  I had  not. At this
>> point he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner  guests  seated
> around the table chorused: "Happy  Birthday!"

>>
>>
>> I  fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'D be super-embarassed if I were in her shoes.