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pope732901 (m)
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I recently found out my girlfriend lied to me about who and how many guys she has slept with. We have been together for a year but have known each other for 10 years. Also my two cousins (sisters) have been best friends with her for about 12 years. My girlfriend has had some problems with them because they are talking behind her back. One of my cousins was closer to my girlfriend would tell me she is a whore.
My cousin’s boyfriend, who is one my best friends would also talk about her saying that she has been with a black guys and messed with a lot of other guys. This is all before we hooked up. But my girlfriend noticed things after we got together like my two cousins didn’t like her being with me. My girlfriend and I had a talk and agreed that I would talk my cousins about the situation. Then she told me that she wanted to talk to them first. After that happened my friend calls me and starts yelling at me telling with the hell is wrong with your lady talking down on my wife.
It all led to me finding out that a guy that my girlfriend used to date but said she didn’t sleep with, was calling her. After finding out that my friend knows the guy she used to be with, he told him not to call her anymore. Nothing happened with that but I got that guys number to check my girlfriend’s phone to see if I saw his number. I finally called the guy and asked him if he has slept my girlfriend prior to our relationship. He said yes and not to marry her.
I later called my girlfriend and she admitted to me that she had indeed slept with that guy. Then she ended up telling me she had also slept with a black guy that I can’t stand. I heard all about the rumors prior to hooking up with her but didn’t care because I had feelings for her. So she lied to me for a whole year about the guys she has been with. She told me she slept with one guy before me.
The total is 4 before me. I have heard more rumors about more guys. I have hard time believing her now. Now my cousins and my girlfriend don’t get along and I am very close with my cousins. I always think about my girlfriend possibly having been with more men and it disgusts me. A lot of people in my social circle think my girlfriend is a whore. I guess I should have listened to the people close to me about her. I enjoy being with her but I still think she is lying to me. Please help
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bennygee (m)
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look my guy, if u get to know what all this young ladies of nowadays do in the name of dating,going out,relationship, ud not bother about listening to tales of who and not they've slept with. make u chop your own cut out fast. as far as im concerned, true love is all a facade. love love mama and papa don die for that plane crash wey happen for 1989  |
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pope732901 (m)
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look my guy, if u get to know what all this young ladies of nowadays do in the name of dating,going out,relationship, ud not bother about listening to tales of who and not they've slept with. make u chop your own cut out fast. as far as im concerned, true love is all a facade. love love mama and papa don die for that plane crash wey happen for 1989 Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Benny, I owe you one small stout. |
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Siena (m)
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Pope, it's not uncommon for girls not to be proud of their previous sexual encounters / partners. Everyone has a past, and not all feel comfortable discussing such. What's important is the present and future.
Besides, how many guys truthfully tell their girlfriends, all about their previous sexual partners? Have you told your girlfriend all about yours, and does she deserve to know?
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bennygee (m)
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please make it 2 bottles of star
thats my brand.
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Siena (m)
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And a word of advice, Pope - please, stop listening to others, and start listening to you girlfriend.
What with all your cousins / friends talking about her, and painting her black, it's no wonder she's defensive, and not willing to discuss things with you!
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pope732901 (m)
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Pope, it's not uncommon for girls not to be proud of their previous sexual encounters / partners. Everyone has a past, and not all feel comfortable discussing such. What's important is the present and future.
Besides, how many guys truthfully tell their girlfriends, all about their previous sexual partners? Have you told your girlfriend all about yours, and does she deserve to know?
Hmmm, OUTSTANDING! Thanks so much for your advice, I really appreciate it. You deserve a trophy. Hmmm  what could that be? Okay. I owe you 3 bottles of Kronenbourg and 1 Packet of Rothmas OKAY? please make it 2 bottles of star
thats my brand.
Noo O, Star na N150 na. Where I won see two? Okay? Lets be economical, I will buy you Ogogoro or Sepe either of the two. |
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Siena (m)
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Lol, thanks for your kind offer, fortunately, I don't smoke.  |
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2dye4 (m)
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@pope- jusl like sienna said, its time you started listening to your heart and your girl. we all have past escapades and provided its past, its better for to stay that way. what should matter to you now is her commitment to u . don't feed your soul on info that will hurt u.
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pope732901 (m)
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@pope- jusl like sienna said, its time you started listening to your heart and your girl. we all have past escapades and provided its past, its better for to stay that way. what should matter to you now is her commitment to u . don't feed your soul on info that will hurt u.
Thanks for your contribution. Omo DaaDaa. |
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somze (m)
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I think Sienna's advice was worthwhile if neither of you intends to run for the White House in future, you should let the past go. You may not like what you find in there, so concentrate on what you have now. Don't listen to any more stories, either accept her for what she is now or let her go. We all have our past - except me of course |
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OMO IBO (m)
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@ siena, guys are more likely than women to talk about their sexual escapades when asked but to be honest, i'd rather not know. I don't even ask.
@poster, u gast to get over her past. i bet she's prolly not proud of it. like siena said, stop listening to others and o boy, make u no ask of her past. especially the fuccing bit
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pope732901 (m)
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@ OMO Nna, OMO IBO. Thanks Baba mi
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adeboo (f)
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I think Sienna's advice was worthwhile
if neither of you intends to run for the White House in future, you should let the past go. You may not like what you find in there, so concentrate on what you have now. Don't listen to any more stories, either accept her for what she is now or let her go.We all have our past - except me of course Look my guy. Sometimes as ladies we have made lots of bad choices in the relationship department and its you guys that deceive us with sweet words and we end up giving it up - and then it all goes haywire till we meet the next guy and the saga continues. We all have a past - i used to think when a guy asks me how many guys i have been with was cute but not anymore - if i hear that question then i definitely have bad blood with the guy. You say she lied to u - well, maybe its because she wasnt proud of what she did its a different thing if she is still doing it. But come on now, vut her some slack, u didnt start dating her because she is good in bed now - u started dating her because of other things about her. I personally think your attitude towards her has been polluted and u are going to hold a grudge against her, so u are just better off letting her go. But mind u, if she is a good catch for u and good for u, then u are really missing out sha. |
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pope732901 (m)
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Look my guy.
Sometimes as ladies we have made lots of bad choices in the relationship department and its you guys that deceive us with sweet words and we end up giving it up - and then it all goes haywire till we meet the next guy and the saga continues.
We all have a past - i used to think when a guy asks me how many guys i have been with was cute but not anymore - if i hear that question then i definitely have bad blood with the guy.
You say she lied to u - well, maybe its because she wasnt proud of what she did its a different thing if she is still doing it.
But come on now, vut her some slack, u didnt start dating her because she is good in bed now - u started dating her because of other things about her.
I personally think your attitude towards her has been polluted and u are going to hold a grudge against her, so u are just better off letting her go.
But mind u, if she is a good catch for u and good for u, then u are really missing out sha.
Ok. |
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OLADO (m)
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Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Benny, I owe you one small stout.
Beautiful, i go top am wit gulder beer. |
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The Sly
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stop listening to others, and start listening to you girlfriend.
What with all your cousins / friends talking about her, and painting her black, it's no wonder she's defensive, and not willing to discuss things with you!
Thats from a brother. . . |
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uche1 (m)
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my guy, collect your own and move all. na soo all of them be
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somze (m)
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my guy, collect your own and move all. na soo all of them be
If na so all of them be, which one you go put for house na Abi na man you wan go aile with  |
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adeboo (f)
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If na so all of them be, which one you go put for house na Abi na man you wan go aile with Thank u jare my guy, God go bless u. |
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uche1 (m)
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i no fit run my guy
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somze (m)
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God dey |
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joice
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Quote from: Siena on Today at 10:36:58 AM
Pope, it's not uncommon for girls not to be proud of their previous sexual encounters / partners. Everyone has a past, and not all feel comfortable discussing such. What's important is the present and future.
Besides, how many guys truthfully tell their girlfriends, all about their previous sexual partners? Have you told your girlfriend all about yours, and does she deserve to know?
Coming from a guy, that was a good analysis siena. The present and the future is the most important. If we dwell on the past, we would never make any progress whatsoever. She obviously has made up her mind on you and once there is the committment from both of you, it will work and u will be the happier for not taking the advise of your cousins.
There was a similar issue with a pastor that decided to marry a sister with a "whoric'' past and the family resisted their union. But the pastor, filled with wisdom asked them whether they were saints and what the message he had been preaching amounted to. (His preaching that the blood of jesus will make our sins though red as scarlet to be white as snow).
If you consider someone that nobody knows her background and you think she has a clean record, you might later discover she is worse than the girl that has repented and corrected her ways.
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zheroes (m)
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i want to believe SIENA has spoken my mind, but i wasnt expecting her to lie about it, may be she isnt so free with you, try loosen up a bit.
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ty4real (m)
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@Poster! Relationship is all about being comfortable being around each other!Its obvious that you are no longer comfortable being around either way you like it, cause what you av heard , hearing and will still hear is affecting you and will still affect, sos move on with your life but no chop your own ooo,cause your name will be included in her list and oyur new abae may not find that comfortable!E o tago? |
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pope732901 (m)
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@Poster! Relationship is all about being comfortable being around each other!Its obvious that you are no longer comfortable being around either way you like it, cause what you av heard , hearing and will still hear is affecting you and will still affect, sos move on with your life but no chop your own ooo,cause your name will be included in her list and oyur new abae may not find that comfortable!E o tago? Tayo abi Taiye. Thanks so much for your comment. O seun gan. Awale wa dupe. |
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cybersleek (m)
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Holy pope, I will advise you to jettison the past and face the future. What is your relationship like at present? and since you started dating? how do you see your girlfriend as a person? these are questions you should be asking. As for your "cousins" let him who has no sin, cast the first stone.
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nazzyon (m)
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@ Pope
Is this problem mainly about race or because she slept with some guy who confirmed it?
If she is still interested get married and forget about it.
Right now she did confirmed what you heard, I trust that you are still interested in the relationship. Which is why you have to present the puzzling question in this forum.
Here is how it works; the determinant is the lady and not you since you can't take your mind off the past. If she still wants you and you feel you won't judge her based on her past acts go ahead with the relationship.
I believe if you don't want to hurt your partner; you can protect them from your past.
She knew you would be hurt and decided not to let you know.
Only few people can absorb it and be silent about it.
____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ________________
You said, people around calls her a whore.
You should know, that only few people stand in a relationship without sex.
Having sex with different guys in the past is absolutely different from if she does the same during your relationship.
Though, we are humans knowing that your lover have had sex with someone else will definitely make you feel bad.
____________________________________________________________ _________________________________________
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sweet Tai (m)
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@Pope
Look here bro'. This is 2008 and these girls are not what our mothers used to be. They chop and clean mouth quickly than you can say "caught". It's not so important who she has been with in the past, what is important is that how faithful is she to you now. People change and you might be that possitive change in her life. If you love this girl, show her the difference between you and the other guys she has been with. And if she continues to sleep around after your demonstration of love, i'd say drop her like a bad habit.
Tell your cousins to take it easy, If only sexual encounters are recorded on a woman's forehead you will see that your cousins are no angels either. If every sexual rendezvous are recorded on every woman's forehead, some women will have a head full of ink. A good woman requires luck prayers my friends. Treat her good and she might change her wayward ways.
@bennygee
I don't support your idea of " chop your own". That is very selfish and cruel. When did women became a piece of rag that you use and toss? Would you want one of your sisters' boyfriends to "Chop your own" ? Our mentality has to change as African men, that's why some women thinks we are no better than monkies.
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Obalende
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1. There is nothing like love.
2. There is something like attraction.
3. Mating and dating is complex and involves many variables - too easy to make a mistake - God must therefore be involved (and no, im not religious - this is just fact).
4. if you are both below age 35, there is a high chance she is just attracted to you for some reason, if she is attracted to another guy at the same time, she will most likely see the guy.
WORD BY SWEET TAI
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akara (m)
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@Poster
I just suggest you grow up about your relationship. If you love her, you will take her for what she is now and not
what was before you met her even if she has slept with the whole market. If lovers dwelt on their past no one will
be in any meaningful relationship.
How clean are those telling you tales? Do you know?
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kenykendo (f)
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hey, u've had a wrong experience but abeg, nt all gals are like your galfrnd. and moreova, before u started goin out wit her didnt u sleep wit any oda girl? if no den u just hookd up wit d wrong one. anyhow sha, as i said u jst got d wrong girl n believe me there's true love FOR THOSE DAT BELIEVE. take kia ko!   |
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