If Your Mama Decides To Leave!

I'll try to do everything possible to keep the family togetheror if it does not work, i'll carry my bags and follow my momshe needs more protection and caringmore fragile

My sister!   Fear no let me talk ooooooooooh.  Well to each his own!

 did that, u know,  tried to commit suicide to bring them both together,  talked to both parties,  even marked their anniversary but nothing workeD! well???

I don't see the big deal . . . or maybe that's because of my 

It's her decision. Why do you want to kill yourself over it?

You should thank her for staying this long . . . like someone earlier said.

Some men can be  . . . no disrespect to anyone, leave the poor woman alone jare

yes why not have them live together in one roof so they can then take out their frustrations on the so called "grown children"

anyway somze for once i agree with you.

Reconciliation may have looked more logical if this was a new couple, but they have 4 grown kids.

Don't you think the woman by now would have been experienced enough to know when to quit.

We may be talking about up to 20 years of marriage here. More experienced than any of us are at the moment.

I'D stick by her whatever decision. No meddling. Whatever she decides, it's her life, her happiness, my support.

@ Poster

It's possible the woman must have suffered years of abuse in silence, (It could be physical, mental or Psychological)

and she felt could "stay" in the marriage for the sake of her children.

Since all four children are fully grown, I think it is time for her to leave and find her sanity.

I wish her well.

Kill yourself darling your losing sight of the big picture!!!

She has her reasons let her go.  If she makes a mistake she can't say no one told her.

She may have found some Hot stuff to look after her. 

Just pray for long life for both your parents.

and enough of trying to kill yourself  Jeez,

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I just love this side of Somze!

_{All mushed up!}



Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes a "break" is all you need to make things better, instead of forcing the situation into what you think or feel is ideal for both?  Especially if you are not wearing the shoes? Here is a woman who has been in a marriage for llke 24 years and you think she is not at the 'breaking" point to go somewhere quiet to get back to her senses?

Yes, we believe in committment and compromise. But sometimes it takes a little break from it all to realize both and more.  Let the woman get the desired break she needs.  After 24 years, I doubt if a "replacement spouse" is even at the bottom of her list not to talk of the top.  All she needs is support right now to work out her feelings! Sometime at least, should be allowed, for this woman to work out her "feelings" for the husband and give the man a chance to make it up to her, instead of the children doing his work for him.  It is his responsiblity to go after his wife if he cares.  If she comes back, she comes back on her own accord to a willing spouse.

If she comes back tomorrow, this same man will tell her that he did not beg her since the children got involved.  Let him go and use his own mouth and money to get her back if he cares. Let them work it out I say and let the children stay out.  The people who are in this marriage should fix their mess.

Personally the only time I can advice my mother to leave is only if my father's bringing in another wife or hitting/abusing her. Anything other than that would have to go through a discourse between the parents and the children. If all discussion to avoid a break up turn on deaf ears, then I can only leave them to their own fate.

thanks to you guys and your views and opinions,  but lettin my mama do what she wants to do is not the best option,  for what its worth, we would never stop tryin to change her mind, with God on her side, she will change her mind, one day,

she did not give up on us while we were still growing, why should we give up on her now, no way,  i love my dad so much i can't even bear to see him smilin at another woman, my mama is the only one for him, so she cannot leave him, not while we are alive,

their marriage wasnt bad at all, dad has never raised his hands at her, they do have misunderstandings sometimes though, but he would never hit her,  i go through his messages but i don't find anything,  i have done some investigations concerning him at work but i find nothing,  its that serious, yet mama wants to go, but not while we are alive anyway.

thanks for tryin to contribute, i needed solutions on how to change her mind NOT advices to letting her go

Good attitude dear. This is exactly the mentality with which i would approach the issue.
You still havent asked your mom WHY though . . . i think that's most important to solving the problem. A man doesnt have to cheat or beat his wife to break down a marriage. There must be some other things that are going on, things they probably hid from u guys just so u wouldnt have to worry about them. Find that out first.
This is the time for u kids to rally around your parents and talk to them, get other more mature adults to talk to them too if that fails.

I reiterate the solution to the problem is not letting them go their different ways. It solves no problems . . . face it, it will hurt both your parents very deeply and you guys will be unhappy.
Parents are funny people, they like to do shakara but deep down they love each other.

something beyond her. What exactly does that mean? It could be spirtual;. I suggest you get her to go in depth or if you really want to, invite "elders" from HER SIDE to ask her themselves.


what are you apologizing for? I'm not offended because I know myself and my family better than some random person on the internet. If my mom or dad was truly unhappy, they would know how to deal with it, either by him or her taking time apart. My siblings and i wont be on their necks annoying them. They're grown people who can deal with things themselves and they always do. After all they were married before we were born and know themselves well enough.

My point to be precise. If she didnt leave in 24yrs why now?
Yeah you are right they probably need some time out . . . my mom sometimes does it when the home gets a bit too hot. Marriage is never a bed of roses and i only hope some of us will begin to understand the fact that cutting and running isnt always the answer to every percieved problem.

What are we even talking about here? There's what they call "being fed up". May be your Mom has been enduring a lot and has finally been pushed to the wall. If she wants to leave let her leave. You don't know what the woman is going through. Not all mothers share everything with their children even as much as they're "close".

My Mom till date is still holding back a confession about her marriage. I understand her perfectly. We children can't know everything about our parents tho' we're so "close" to them.

It's only fair to try to make them reconcile but ermmm. . if ain't working then let them be. They both know what's up.

You stop trying to choke her with your "love". Woman needs a break or a leave entirely.

How will you feel if your parents were forcing you to stay in an agony infected marriage? Would you stay because you so "love" them ? I for one, WON'T! My peace and sanity is all I desire.

You should be thankful that she didn't leave when she had to wipe your dirty a$$. You're grown so give her the support she needs. The poor woman knows where it hurts. Period.

Or better still, take her for "deliverance" because she's not allowed/supposed to leave a miserable marriage.