|
blacklion (m)
|
I take the 5th  |
|
|
|
|
|
Dalby (m)
|
Senior bros, how far  wetin I do you  @Tpia
No wonder. The guy must also be one of those yabbing Nairalanders or internet commandos like dalby and Blacklion.
1. na them dey front pass, but put them in a serious situation and watch them fumble like nobody's business. Na socializing problem o.
2. See what happens when you refuse to learn from your interactions on the web. Or interactions in general.
People will complain about everything- English is not our mother tongue, women are too forward, etc etc. Instead of them to learn from the world around them, na so so yab them go dey yab, only to fall flat on their faces at critical moments.
@ blacklion and dalby- na una sef una dey explain o. You're not talking to me at all. 3. I don't give a flying fig for anything you might have to say. In fact, say more.
1. What I like about myself is that I face problems head on, if you like a lady in the house find away to contact the person and tell her how you feel, not going around in circles and patronising them. 2. I decided to check your general statistics and found only 2 hours of nairaland-inactivity, that is 9 and 10am in Nigeria or 9 and 10pm in newzealand, when do you sleep my guy Burning the candle at both ends is not the best way to make money o. Handymen for be the richest people 3. I know you don't give a flying fig about anything, so jump out the window from a multi-rise building and end it right now  |
|
|
|
|
|
Surprises
|
Hmmm, very wise words too! Except that i'm not too keen on believing that a woman makes her man what she wants him to be. But then again when put in context of the fact that people will relate with you based on how you relate with them, that's true as well. But I don't believe, as I've heard on several occassions, that it's a woman's job to tame or train her man. But then again, that's not what you're saying is it? Your observations are very true for the most part!
windywendy, Undoubtedly you are married. You may not know how much you have done to influence your husband's behaviour. Men are basically a "proud" bunch, and it appears they are made so. Just as no serious woman likes a timid man. What makes him a man? Women wants a man that holds the umbrella of security over them and who yet treats them tenderly. Just as you must know too that no man takes it lightly to be insulted publicly by a woman, for fear of losing his pride. So what I am saying is that I wish the girl has moved in the right direction by way of pushing further in that "moment of truth" to get to know what the guy thinks about her, she would have been in a position to know BETTER the person she has been dealing with. Up to that time they were merely friends, that moment of proposal graduated severely from that. "Moment of reality" I would call it, when there was no need to feign gentility or whatever. That guy has some reservations or perhaps has other girls against whom he has been comparing this other one to whom he has proposed. And he took it for granted that this girl must understand what he has been up to, that was a serious element of pride on the part of the guy. It appears every move of the girl has been understood by him to mean, "this girl is dying for me". A good way to refute that implied assumption was not the "immature" manner the girl shoved off the important issue. Getting a guy to calm and say "Sorry, what you are saying has never crossed my mind, and even if, I think I have to think seriously about it" would have made the guy know that "contrary to what I had thought, this girl is not cheap or desparate". The girl from then must incur more respect from the guy, but she has kissed that opportunity away - and I bet you, it will repeat itself. Nothing has been settled, because nothing was understood! |
|
|
|
|
|
Dalby (m)
|
@Tpia I just closed from work and I am going to the pub, a friend is having his birthday today, would have loved to stay and chat, but I can't. Will hook up when I get home. take care  |
|
|
|
|
|
tpia
|
Senior bros, how far wetin I do you @Tpia 1. What I like about myself is that I face problems head on, if you like a lady in the house find away to contact the person and tell her how you feel, not going around in circles and patronising them. 2. I decided to check your general statistics and found only 2 hours of nairaland-inactivity, that is 9 and 10am in Nigeria or 9 and 10pm in newzealand, when do you sleep my guy Burning the candle at both ends is not the best way to make money o. Handymen for be the richest people 3. I know you don't give a flying fig about anything, so jump out the window from a multi-rise building and end it right now you're only yarning ignorance here. 2 hours of nairaland inactivity doesnt mean I'm on nairaland all that time. if I don't log off, most times the system seems to keep me on, so it looks like I'm on Nairaland even when I'm not. are you new or something? You don't know that? another one following me around. Na wa o. You like yourself- I've heard. Anything else?  Glad to be of help though. Anything to keep your mind off your problems. I'm here for you, bro.  @Tpia I just closed from work and I am going to the pub, a friend is having his birthday today, would have loved to stay and chat, but I can't. Will hook up when I get home. take care na by force this one dey chat with persin o. Water wan comot for gari o. |
|
|
|
|
|
D-reloaded (f)
|
afi "pub" naa
|
|
|
|
|
|
windywendy (f)
|
windywendy,
Undoubtedly you are married. You may not know how much you have done to influence your husband's behaviour. Men are basically a "proud" bunch, and it appears they are made so. Just as no serious woman likes a timid man. What makes him a man? Women wants a man that holds the umbrella of security over them and who yet treats them tenderly. Just as you must know too that no man takes it lightly to be insulted publicly by a woman, for fear of losing his pride. So what I am saying is that I wish the girl has moved in the right direction by way of pushing further in that "moment of truth" to get to know what the guy thinks about her, she would have been in a position to know BETTER the person she has been dealing with. Up to that time they were merely friends, that moment of proposal graduated severely from that. "Moment of reality" I would call it, when there was no need to feign gentility or whatever.
That guy has some reservations or perhaps has other girls against whom he has been comparing this other one to whom he has proposed. And he took it for granted that this girl must understand what he has been up to, that was a serious element of pride on the part of the guy. It appears every move of the girl has been understood by him to mean, "this girl is dying for me". A good way to refute that implied assumption was not the "immature" manner the girl shoved off the important issue. Getting a guy to calm and say "Sorry, what you are saying has never crossed my mind, and even if, I think I have to think seriously about it" would have made the guy know that "contrary to what I had thought, this girl is not cheap or desparate". The girl from then must incur more respect from the guy, but she has kissed that opportunity away - and I bet you, it will repeat itself. Nothing has been settled, because nothing was understood!
Yep, I perfectly agree with you. Infact, here's an excerpt of my earlier post, which in a way corresponds with what you're saying: OK let me get serious. If I were in the girls shoes, considering that the relationship has been going on for 4years, I would first put that statement in the context of the guy's behavior. If hitherto he's been a control freak, this statement would definitely be the last straw that'll shatter the camel's back. I'll be out of that relationship in a hurry. If I consider that it's just a matter of tactlessness on the guy's part, then we'll certainly be having a discussion. I'll certainly want to know what had been going through his mind -- was he having doubts, or struggling with the idea of marriage? I certainly wouldn't want to tie the knot with someone who's having second thoughts. It's better to give him time to make up his mind. Conversely I certainly wouldn't want to marry someone I'm having second thoughts about either and I'll take all the time I need to make up my mind too. . .
People learn everyday and even after opportunities to learn and make changes are missed, there'll be still more opportunities to learn. Both parties in a marriage will have several opportunities to learn how to communicate with eachother in ways that the other person understands and appreciates. It's a learning process and there will undoubtly be mistakes and goofs along the way. But if they're both mature individuals and are committed to the relationship, they'll get there eventually. No doubt, you're also married and are talking from experience. The couple in question is still dating and will get to the point we're talking about. At least the guy was smart enough to realize that the proposal came out the wrong way. That's a good sign. I only hope that the lady in question is also smart enough to learn to communicate with him in a way that he understands and appreciates as well. They'll both learn along the way. They both still have a lot of years ahead of them and there'll be many more opportunities to learn, un-learn and re-learn. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Narx
|
mmh, in my view I think the girl should be glad he finally said it. you never know, probably the long list of potentials was the main reason for the delay. if she looks on the bright side, , she topped them all. , there are so many beautiful women nowadays and men are burdened with hard choice every minute. "I have finally decided to marry you". HAH!! poor guy. , I feel you. |
|
|
|
|
|
tkb417 (m)
|
what a punishment. Some guys would looooooooooove that oh. Dont just go there that means no tutorials for us newbies today because all the teachers don come romance abi wetin Mr.Frankifiri dey do here sef? Yodi and Wendy don come here, we don chase them backabeggi oga, lets go back to our class @tpia whats the crap about someone chatting with u by force? abeg dismiss for here |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Radiant (f)
|
mmh, in my view I think the girl should be glad he finally said it. you never know, probably the long list of potentials was the main reason for the delay. if she looks on the bright side, , she topped them all. , there are so many beautiful women nowadays and men are burdened with hard choice every minute. "I have finally decided to marry you". HAH!! poor guy. , I feel you. Hi "Narx" ! Like your new ID. You're the supposed groom, right? |
|
|
|
|
|
d1tha1
|
EFOSA VAL, is that your picture!!!  Well, I wanted you to know that after seeing your picture I HAVE DECIDED TO MARRY YOU!!!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
janami (f)
|
EFOSA VAL, is that your picture!!! Well, I wanted you to know that after seeing your picture I HAVE DECIDED TO MARRY YOU!!!!! really cute i must confess  |
|
|
|
|
|
chamotex (m)
|
"I have finally decided to marry you".maybe the guy was trying to be different or can I say UNIQUE. lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
Radiant (f)
|
maybe the guy was trying to be different or can I say UNIQUE. Unique my cute bum! |
|
|
|
|
|
Surprises
|
Someone has suggested that if he were the guy, he would have simply put it this way "would you like to be the mother of my kids?" This, though well intentioned is a recipe for calamity. You have simply insinuated that the girl must be fertile, must bear children. Who gives you that guarantee? And what do you think will become of the marriage if no child comes on time or AT ALL?
Words have power, and their strength springs from the fact that they convey the voice of our heart which no one else can see but God. Our words can give us away before we know it.
If I am a lady and a man proposes to me with that expectation, I would run for my dear life. Even if I am crazy about having children, that expectation alone from the proposer, can lead to unwarranted anxiety. Is that faithlessness? NO. You are simply being human.
|
|
|
|
|
|
4Him (m)
|
Someone has suggested that if he were the guy, he would have simply put it this way "would you like to be the mother of my kids?" This, though well intentioned is a recipe for calamity. You have simply insinuated that the girl must be fertile, must bear children. Who gives you that guarantee? And what do you think will become of the marriage if no child comes on time or AT ALL?
Well you don't go into marriage with the feeling that u wont have children. If no children come on time there's always room for patience while we figure out a solution. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Radiant (f)
|
Debo, stick to the topic
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sisikill
|
Wow…Loved reading all the comments. They were quite insightful even though the whole thing left me a little depressed… I guess facing reality will do that to you. This topic isn’t about whether the guy should have rented the Eiffel Tower, gotten a plane full of beautiful rose petals, timed it so perfectly that the rose petals are released just as the 1000 instruments marching band he hired, played the last note of her favorite song (the one she told him when they first started dating and 4 years later, he still remembered) and him proposing in the most eloquent, sweetest words known to man. No, it isn’t about wanting the guy to get down on one knee in a perfectly lit restaurant with a robin egg's blue box in his hand and a quartet playing in the background (which quite frankly is a little too cliche for my test). This post is not about watching too many romantic movies, reading too many Mills & Boons & Harlequin or expecting to be doused in champagne as the love of your life asks you to be his forever. It's gone beyond the asinine proposal, what this is really about is how the sexes are treated… A man does something bad, the woman gets blamed for reacting to what he did…she should have thought it through and TRY to see the motive behind his words but more importantly, she must do an internal search of herself to figure out what SHE did to make him do what he did and finally, she must…MUST be grateful he is willing to look past HIS own mistakes and forgive her reaction to it… they tell her. Case in point, this guy proposes in the most awful way I've ever heard YET the girl is blamed for reacting the way she did. A woman does something bad, SHE and only she alone gets blamed for it…she should have thought it through before doing it, she should be ready to face the consequences of her actions and finally, she must, MUST be grateful he is willing to look past her mistakes and forgive her for making them and if he isn’t willing to do that…then she’s just going to have to live with his decision…they tell her. Bottom line, women are expected to be Sensible, Perfect, long suffering, subservient beings who should be grateful if a man deigns to breath close to them. THIS is the reality for women and it is completely unfair. PS I thought of prefixing the words MAN and WOMAN in the above with AFRICAN or more specifically NIGERIAN but thought…nah, I wouldn’t want to be accused of stereotyping…even though we all know that this is typical Naija behavior. Having come to terms with reality, I must say…I feel sorry for our mothers and grandmother oh, I swear those women should be put on a pedestal and worshipped. Windywendy…if I knew were you lived and if you were not married, I’d rent the Eiffel Tower, get a plane and have them release a million beautiful rose petals just as the 1000 instruments marching band I hired finished playing the last note of your favorite song and ask you to marry…my brother! D-Reloaded are you married? Do you like roses and what’s your favorite song? |
|
|
|
|
|
olrotimi (m)
|
Said her boyfriend took her for lunch today so after the free lunch she kicked his butts, urrh, ladies |
|
|
|
|
|
morenike09 (f)
|
A friend of mine just asked me to post this. I refused at first but she kept begging me too.
Said her boyfriend took her for lunch today and told her "I have finally decided to marry you". She said she was so pissed, and told him to take his proposal and shove it, now she is wondering if she was too harsh, she has been with the guy through thick and thin for four years and she feels (rightly I think oh) that the guy should have come up with a more romantic and respectful proposal. What do you think? your friend did the right thing jarei would have dumped the whole lunch on himdecide ko undecided ni. . . that was insultingit simply sounds like he made a choice, not willinglylike he had to because that's what he was suppose to do. like to get a job well done. my gosh, most naija men are not romantic at all. . . and at la lunch is a romantic place to ask a girl for her hand in marriage? oma se o |
|
|
|
|
|
faramola
|
no he should have screamed, "Do you want me to marry you?" Nonsense some guys are just ridiculous, plus ladies have suffered in this thing called relationship, courtship, and so on, if i was in her shoes, i,ll make sure i give him a public embarrassment in return, i bet he will never open his stinking mouth to propose to any lady, he,ll be so scared! he,ll remain single for his entire life, Haba, little courtesy! little respect! that is all we ask for,
|
|
|
|
|
|
olrotimi (m)
|
harsh treatment i'll say. now she is wondering if she was too harsh, she has been with the guy through thick and thin for four years so long a time with the guy just to loose him to the ethics of proposal  |
|
|
|
|
|
faramola
|
harsh treatment i'll say. so long a time with the guy just to loose him to the ethics of proposal please , what do u maean harsh, that kind of guy deserves something worst than harsh, he lacks respect, |
|
|
|
|
|
morenike09 (f)
|
please , what do u maean harsh, that kind of guy deserves something worst than harsh, he lacks respect,
i second and third that  |
|
|
|
|
|
olrotimi (m)
|
lets not be chauvinists here.i overrule you guys. |
|
|
|
|
|
cheexy (f)
|
This proposal kind of reminds me of one i witnessed at silverbird cinemas. We were watching spiderman2 and all of a suddeen we saw a marriage proposal on the screen, before we knew what was happening, the guy in question stood up, waved the ring for all to see and put it on the girl's finger. Can u imagine that crap??? People laughed the hell out of him and started screaming at the part where peter parker was to propose to mary jane, for him to wave the ring for all to see like the way the mumu guy did. I was so embarrased for the girl.
Gosh
@windywendy
I had to come to this thread to read it when i read yodi referring to your responses here. Some of the posts i have read here (the ones that say that the girl should count herself lucky that he proposed)suggests to me that either the posters are very local or very immature. Even my dad in his days did much better than that.
Oya, back to our beloved thread. We need to CICO, ZIZO, RIRO etc
|
|
|
|
|
|
almondjoy (f)
|
yemivictor (m)
Posts: 323
Offline
Re: Funny Marriage Proposal
« #294 on: Yesterday at 02:40:18 PM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm . . . i can see almondjoy is just raking up one lover after the other with each post!
AJ, abeg talk true o!
You sure say you never sneak come naija come collect black soap for agenebode wey you dey take baff for nevada!?
Abi na wetin con be all this converts you're making out of your sworn enemies ke!?
he he he he he he he he!  Na so life be now. When you hate someone so much, you do not have anymore options but to love. When you love someone too much, you do not have any other direction to go but hate. That is why I do not care. Simple lessons in life. Things will always fall in place. . . . . .at their own good time. That is the law of 'NO PERMANENT FRIENDS, NO PERMANENT ENEMIES" on Nairaland and in Life!!!There is no condition that is permanent. . . . .abi no be so I take charm you? Abi you hear say a be fake "fake born again" with Indian Handkerchief full of spiritual powers, like some Nairalanders. . . . . . .wey dey sleep for on top of Mount Zion? Just do your thing and damn what others think! People who love you, love you for what you are and never try to change you. Those are your true friends. . . . . . the rest gat serious psych issues. Who wants to be bothered by those? Shiiiiiiiiiit!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
uchkochi (m)
|
people have different ways of communication or expression.I was not there when he made the proposal though.the lady should understand that not everybody is totally romantic.The truly romantic guys are few.Men are totally different from women.It would have been of great remark if it were to be women who proposes i believe every man would say yes.Ladies please do bear with men you can make them romantic or help them to be very straight.
Women are very deep i am sure the girl would have had high expectation on her first marriage proposal and had expected it to be more out standing.But if she loves Him she will forget the way it came and decide to be happy
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
