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Ujujoan (f)
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Someone please tell me whats obtainable if an Ibo Woman marries a Youruba Man. Am planning to do that and am kind of getting fed up of the negative stories I hear about such marriages. Is there no positive thing that can come out of it. What exactly am I going to face in terms of cultural differences? Personally, I don't think am making a mistake. What do you 'Landers' think?
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OMO IBO (m)
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hahahahahahha
i had this conversation with my girl friend last night. she is yoruba and she told me everything that she's been told and heard about igbo-yoruba marriage/union.
without going further into details i got pissed off and wandered why people still harbour achaic thoughts.
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Ujujoan (f)
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You wouldnt be so quick to call it acheaic if you are the woman and every body is telling you how you are going to start living a totally different life from what you already know. For the men, its really not much of a change, but for us ladies, its like a whole new world.
If you werent like one million miles away from this country, you certainly wont laugh at the strange things happening in inter-tribal marraiges in this 'modern' world.
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OMO IBO (m)
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me laughing is not a sign of mockery at ur predicament.
i also find myself in the same wahala but the other way round. distance is not barrier when culture and tradition is at the centre stage especially if both partners are not so westernized.
i am more equipped to handle the pressures of inter-tribal relationship than she is but her friends and family just chat crap. if not for respect i have for women and older women in general, i would have spat in the face of one her friends mother's. imagine the Republic of Benin woman chatting sh1t about igbo men.
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Ujujoan (f)
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imagine the Republic of Benin woman chatting sh1t about igbo men.
Now that is reealy funny.  But seriously, I hear of some Yoruba traditions that really scare me. My Finacee tells me they are baseless, but I can't help but wonder. The worst part is when your family says things like 'don't say I dint warn you oh'!! It gets really scary sometimes. you guys are always stronger than us ladies in issues like this.  |
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OMO IBO (m)
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Now that is reealy funny. But seriously, I hear of some Yoruba traditions that really scare me. My Finacee tells me they are baseless, but I can't help but wonder. The worst part is when your family says things like 'don't say I dint warn you oh'!! It gets really scary sometimes. you guys are always stronger than us ladies in issues like this. that bit right there gets under my skin. it's as if they already know the outcome of the relationship. anyways, the relationship must go on as long as we are happy and both familes (fathers and mothers) are happy. any other person can stuff themselves |
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4Him (m)
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Someone please tell me whats obtainable if an Ibo Woman marries a Youruba Man. Am planning to do that and am kind of getting fed up of the negative stories I hear about such marriages. Is there no positive thing that can come out of it. What exactly am I going to face in terms of cultural differences? Personally, I don't think am making a mistake. What do you 'Landers' think?
You're not making any mistake at all . . . i'm a product of such a marriage. Here's the only "problem" though . . . both of u will just have to put up with speaking english only forever. |
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D-reloaded (f)
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Ujujoan
such marriages are quite common in Nigeria. It's the reverse that is rare.
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Radiant (f)
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I was sure 4Him will be here  Ujunwa  Both tribes tend to frown at each other most of the time but umm. . it all depends 4Him's parents are a good example of a successful one. Best wishes Tiffy, I'm waiting for my gist o  How u doin?  |
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grafikdon
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Ujujoan
such marriages are quite common in Nigeria. It's the reverse that is rare.
Don't you think you are jumping into conclusions here? Either that or you have gone to every nook and crannies of Nigeria to find out the 'truth'. Perhaps we should address the poster's question instead of turning the thread to another tribal warfare.  |
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4Him (m)
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I was sure 4Him will be here you bet.  Ujujoan
such marriages are quite common in Nigeria. It's the reverse that is rare.
Really? I have one in my family and i'D wager there are tons more of such marriages . . . |
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henry007 (m)
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i think yoruba woman have a virus that only a few igbo men have been able to suppress
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D-reloaded (f)
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Last I checked in Webster's dictionary "rare" wasnt the same as "doesnt exist"
gradifikon, please stop looking for a fight. I'm not the only person to bring to the attention that Yoruba Women-Igbo men marriages are NOT nearly as common as Igbo Women-Yoruba Man. Just letting the OP realize that her situation is quite common in Nigeria
Rad, get on!
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henry007 (m)
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u do realize u just stirred up a fight rite?
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tpia
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what's the big deal now? All these people denying basic facts that everyone knows. There are far more marriages between Igbo women/Yoruba men, than Igbo men/Yoruba women. ah ah!The OP's situation isnt so unusual and I'm sure she'll readily find people who can advise her, being in a similar relationship, than if it were the other way round. I've lost count of the number of Igbo women/Yoruba men marriages I'm aware of, while I can still count on one hand the number of marriages between Igbo men and Yoruba women that I know of personally. Nothing spoil there- its just a general observation obvious to anyone who wants to notice. abeg am out jo. ah ah!!!!!  why should there be a fight and about what? |
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D-reloaded (f)
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tpia, thank you jare
all these people looking for fights, I'm bored.
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tpia
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tpia, thank you jare
all these people looking for fights, I'm bored.
I tire o! do people need a census to confirm these things or what. An Igbo friend back in Nigeria advised his sister not to marry her Yoruba boyfriend. She went ahead and married the guy anyway. I'm thinking maybe if it had been the other way round, like if it had been the sister telling her brother not to marry his Yoruba girlfriend, he'D probably have listened to her and ended the relationship. I d'unno. No one said its a bad thing that there are fewer Yoruba women/Igbo men relationships and marriages. Maybe the men are just more protective of their womenfolk and reluctant to hurt their family's feelings. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation somewhere.  Not that anyone owes anyone else an explanation for anything. don't see what there is to huff about, either. Instead of answering the OP's enquiry, na another thread them dey start. |
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Uche2nna (m)
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LMAO @Uju It depends on the way u see it. People are always going to point out differences. A marriage between a couple from Anambra and Imo would also raise some eye brows, not as much as urs tho but some tongues would still wag. These are bewtween two Igbo people ooooo!!!!! So in your case , would people wag, yes they would . Would people raise genuine concerns, yes they would. Are there going to be differences, of course!!!! But it all boils down to you and how u handle it. If u guys truly love each other then U are going to go through all those obstacles but You would come out strong. |
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Uche2nna (m)
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Hahahahahahahahaha
Ugwumba, how far. Nke a anya!!!!!!!!
I should be asking u that question. U and zulu just disappeared from NL without trace.
How far? How U dey?
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Radiant (f)
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Tiffy, these people don't know how to "get to know you"
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micklplus (m)
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hmmmmmmmmm !! this is a tough one !.
I dated an ibo girl sometimesssss ago ! we were so into one another and infact, everybody loved us together ! i used go to her house , play with her siblings, chat and do all sorts until we started getting serious ! The first thing i noticed was that, the mother stopped being warm to me. The father started "bonning" for me. The other folks were just struggling not to hurt me ! Then, a letter came from the village in Owerri ( from the grand parents) that, none of the daughters should marry outside their tribe ! i thought it was all a joke ! and this was a family i was cool and nice to. buy things at intervals, sort the folks, give then stuff even advices, play together ! the next thing was that, things just fell apart. The girl was ill ! got mad with everything and her life ! stopped talking to anybody at home. Shes going to be 30 by june and yet, not married !!! just because, i be from south west !
can u imagine that !!!! Thats just by the way because we are not even married and war have started , what would have happened IF we had gotten married !!!
My take about the whole thing is that, it can work if the two parties involved are ready to damn anything and everybody then, the family will only " hala" and leave them in the long run.
To butress the fact the, the above can work,
My Friend's brother is getting married to her wife traditionally by APril 19 in Abia state. They damned anything and everything and went ahead to do court wedding. They now have a girl and would be married traditionally in April.
Chikena
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Radiant (f)
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Mic, it's not really about damning anything or anyone. I think the best approach is to make them aware of whom you're about to marry. Tell them how much she means to you and how happy you are to be/will be with her. Make them realise you're not marrying a tribe but someone you love and wish to spend the rest of your life with.Family always want to have a say. It's good but when they choose a wife/husband for you then that sucks. The two of you have to make it clear to them that you two are meant for each other without doubts. Your families will eventually reason with you and support you. It all depends on how you handle the whole chaos initially
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D-reloaded (f)
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Exactly Rad.
and lol, you're right, instead of trying to understand my views they just want to fight and frankly I'm getting bored. Not fun anymore esp with those that get extremely nasty.
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Radiant (f)
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Not fun anymore esp with those that get extremely nasty.
I know what you mean. It could even lead to segregation in the family. Crazy! |
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nwando
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Anybody that finds true love anywhere even the man is from Burkina Faso,marry him! @ the poster ,there is a general notion in Igboland that Yoruba men that marry Igbos somewhere along the line always leave her for a Yoruba woman or mistress.
Maybe that's what you've heard too.Having a mistress is a sin common to men of all persuasions. Governer spritzer of New York was not Ijebu It's not seen as a virtue anywhere as far as I know. I know Igbos married to Igbos who live in hell fire. I have a family member that saw pepper in the hands of her Yoruba husband. I also have a relative,a pastor sef whose wife is Yoruba and the sweetest gem you ever met while my relative is a total waste of sperm ,sleeping with his housegirls,neighbours and street hawkers. Bad marriages happen in all tribes,religions and callings. The key is in winning over your parents and his parents to see that you both love each other. Once your parents and his parents give their blessings my sister,spread out the fingers on your right hand and say "waka" to everyone else. It's none of their business. |
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nwando
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LMAO @Uju It depends on the way u see it. People are always going to point out differences. A marriage between a couple from Anambra and Imo would also raise some eye brows, not as much as urs tho but some tongues would still wag. These are bewtween two Igbo people ooooo!!!!! So in your case , would people wag, yes they would . Would people raise genuine concerns, yes they would. Are there going to be differences, of course!!!! But it all boils down to you and how u handle it. If u guys truly love each other then You are going to go through all those obstacles but You would come out strong. Are you telling me. My hubby and I are both from the same state and yet a relative of his rejected me at first because I wasn't from the same Local Govt area. Can you imagine? |
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morenike09 (f)
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nothing new
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The Sly
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Anybody that finds true love anywhere even the man is from Burkina Faso,marry him! Abi!!!!!!!!!!!!! A product of a diff/mixed race/tribe here. . . . . . not even igbo/yoruba so u know what that means and i must confess its fantastic. . . Pretty kids et all. . . . PosterThere is nothing wrong with it as much as u both r in loveIma say ''Go getta'' . . . . . . The world is changing with an unprecedented rate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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almondjoy (f)
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Uju baby! Still in the planning phases a see? May you plan for ever. . . . .Amen! Please call us when you have exchanged vows abeg, and stop disturbing Nairaland with this your fake wedding only happening in your right cerebral hemisphere! This is the longest planned Nigerian wedding I know about! Please go and re-register a new Nairaland name and come back with your planning! Or are you marrying yourself? Please tell me it is the same dude that jilted you some 7 days ago, that you dated for 2 years or 20 years with several phases of secondary and tertiary virginity in between! Na by force? You okporoko/oha soup, fake-sour-AWALAWALA-tomato-pussy-virgin-bend-down-pick-bride! Are you not a Nigerian? You should know what to expect with your "Nkwobi-Owanbe" romance, abi na "Ishi-Ewu- White Amala" romance! Tell your pastor to tell you in your night vigils/marriage counselling sessions every wednesday night when he collects his own share! MUMU!Just get the bloody marriage over with and show us the 419 pictures you fooooool! ANUGBOKO!---THE WEDDING PLANNER!-------I am waiting for the rest of you with your fake names! Is this fun or what? Others have buried their fake names and cannot bring out their heads in shame and you this UJUJOAN are still using one of your names to look for customers on Nairaland? You shalanga magggot!COWARDS ON RAMPAGE. . . . bring your heads out I say! he he he he he he he he! I am having too much fun. @poster I say common clearoooooooooooooooooooooout of here with your useless 419 wedding planning. Soliciting for gifts on Nairaland with your fake akpu-ewedu wedding. 419 ogbanje like you! I go destroy this your thread and will visit the rest of your personalities in ma own sweet time! Turn ba turn PLC! Just when I thought that Nairaland was getting boring again. Thank you for starting this 419 thread! Nyan'miri like you! Wey your gang? |
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stillwater (f)
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*shakes head*
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