IS ABUSE PART OF OUR CULTURE
It is not a common thing in western world for people to raise abusive

word to each other without no frank reasons. Abusive word in develop

country can land people in court room, possible fine, or a cool off in

JAIL.

Nigeira case is different, abuse world is a daily routine, where old or

young, rich or poor, skills and unskills, leaders or followers,

teacher or students, husband or wife, parent or children, landlord or

tenants, market sellers and buyers, Lagos comercial bus (Danfo, Molue)

bus conductors, driver and passengers etc. daily exchange spiritual and

physical abusive words in Nigeria that sometimes resulted in lost of

live, physical damage and valuable items.

Below are scene of one week research analysis of Nigeria abusive study.

(1) Husband and Wife
Husband: Mama Junior where are you coming from?
Wife: Daddy from the neighbours flat
Husband: you are crazy, ori e buru, tie ma baje ni, olori buruku

obirin, haven't I told you not to go to that useless woman flat,

gossipers, idiot, stupid woman , beating her, (no be crime in

lagos ooo)

(2) Bus conductor and Passengers
Bus Conductor: Bros give me money
Passenger: I don give you 50 naira
Bus Conductor: Na lie, U never give me money, dem don start to lie
Passenger: You are stupid, abi ori eleyi o pe ni, do I look like

somebody that will not pay 50 naira, bastard.
Bus Conductor: Baba e, Iya e bastard, gbogbo family e bastard, aye e ma

baje ni, I go comot your shoe, no pay my money, ole ma ba aye je le ni.

(Possibility of fight, )

ORI E BAJE, ORI E BURU, WERE, BABA E IYA E COMMON AMONG MY TRIBE,

YORUBAS.

WAWA, SEGE, DA ISKA, BARAO, BARA YI, BA ANKALE ETC IS COMMON AMONG THE

HAUSAS

IGBO: MY BROTHER NA MONEY MATTER OO.

KINDLY POST YOUR EXPERIENCE ABOUT ABUSE IN NIGERIA.[i][/i]GERIA.

People are verbally abusive in many western countries, board any London bus, you will see it. The words used sre much more offensive too. People are rarely fined or put in jail for verbal abuse in the west, from what I've seen.

Do you live in Nigeria?

Hi, i live in Nigeria.
Am only concern abouy unrulely and uncivilise mouth spilling abuse in my environment
that make me to embark on 1week research study of "WHAT AND WHY"i.e what cause the abuse and why it last long and resulted in spirutiual abusive words.
I pray u never experience Lagos type of poor respect for human being.

People that rain abusive words in Nigeria-Lagos are not been fine or jail.
The abuse resulted in most cases to slight and seriuos fighting and some
kind samaritian seperate them later.

I got the feeling you were trying to say that it doesn't happen outside of Nigeria, or that people outside are fined or jailed for it, trust me, the abuse between people in the UK is terrible. You will hear people swearing and raining the worst form of abuse on people, from young to old. Not to mention the road rage, where they actually start physically fighting.

Have you ever been outside of Nigeria to the western countries you talk of?

Have not been priviledge to travel to western countries but incase i found myself there what should i expect.What is the meaning of the word "sre"as stated in your 1st post. I have heard abusive words in nigeria such as ori iya baje, koni da fun baba e (abusing parents) is totally uncall for.
Kindly tell me notable commonly use abusive words in U.K. and legal implication. Is abusive words borne out of frusration or poverty of environment.

Lol, the word "sre" was a  mispelling on my part it should have been are. I don't think I can tell you the common curse words used in the UK, they are basically swear words and very graphic. Lots of f'ing and so forth. It is common to hear someone on the bus while in an argument call someone a particular part of the male or female genetalia. Calling people B*stards  and telling them to perform certain sexual acts upon their own mothers.

This can be from grown men and women or from children or young teenagers. Its not uncommon to hear children calling their mothers B*tches or parents swearing at their own children. Not to mention bus drivers or traffic wardens (Nigerians especially) being spat at or phyically attacked by passengers/members of the public.

Abusive words can be borne out of frustration, a lack of manners or self control. Ofcourse there are people who are what we call working class and are less economically well off than others, so the frustrations of economics may make some quick to anger. This is true the world over. I've witnesses people in the US threaten to shoot bus drivers too.

I have seen parents come to the school and physically fight teachers while hurling abuse at them, or students abusing teachers or patients abusing nurses, its very common.

There is such a thing as verbal abuse, yes, but you rarely hear of people bringing or winning cases, unless its part of racial/ sexual harrasment or verbal abuse in the workplace or something like defamation of character of a notable individual.

Your view of what is going on outside of Nigeria, in the so called west may not be the actual reality my friend. As far as I know, there is no legal implication for simply hurting someones feelings.

Sincerely agreed with your view about the comparative analysis of both (WESTERN COUNTRIES AND NIGERIA) It's obvious that we Africans are looking upto West and U.S in every sector of life such as refining our crude oil FOR FINISH PRODUCTS,facilitating our energy,infrasructure development,education @ U.k.universities,(care 4 one too in Wales or Dublin) economic and political reform as well as bringing to Africa stinking social vices such as abuse and poor respect for culture.

We and our leaders always copy copy the Oyinbo man system which already has a devastating consequence to our sacred,cherised and respected culture.

Mordernisation is eventful and ideas creation not polluted social vices of
west to Nigeria because research shows that most of these abusive words are been watch on foreign movies and translated to our mother tongues.

The alarming rate of curse in Lagos is disturbing and urgently need to be check by individuals, religion bodies,parents, teachers,as well as legislative arms of government introducing bills on how to restrict verbal abuse in Lagos through mass enlightment programms.

Lets cherish black race once again by respecting our self and projecting black great as a community where they respect themselves and have zero tolerance abusive behavior culture and THE WHITE COMMUNITY USING US AS CASE STUDY 4 CHANGE IS GOING TO BE GREAT!

Am very pitiful to my Nigerians fellows whom are been spat upon and phsically abuse, we dont do that to white men in our countries,we see them and cherish them.
WHAT A TWO OPPOSITE LIFE EXPERIENCE,

Cherishing and worshipping anything White is a big part of Africa's problems. We just follow follow, because White is supposedly right, its pityful.
People can be abusive by nature and I'm sure people in Africa did so long before the Whites ever came to Africa. Maybe in a different way and with different consequences.

When people dont respect themselves, its hard for them to respect others easily.

Africans do not cherish white men, they cherish money. The see a white man and all they see is money. Nigerians are very racist to white men. You don't want to know what they do to them when they are caught by Agberos or Nigerians that have been deported from their countries.

Hi blackcat,
I strongly disagree that Nigerians are very racist to white men.
What does Agberos and deported Nigerians do to them?
The truth is that we dont even cherish ourselves (blacks),we daily curse ourselves and
devalue our individual interest.
Have u have experience with multinational or Nigerian brand companies how they gave great respect to the white friends of us OVER THE BLACKS.

Hi there, I'm from the caribbean. I would say that not all Africans are abusive and violent, but I have never really meet a large group of contential Africans. The one Nigerian I met was reserved almost ''stuck up''. I meet one south african and she was pleasent. Most C.Africans seem to have the stuck up attitude, and it seems that some see themselves as more intelligent than non-contiental African blacks . I was on a UK black forum and most of the members there thought of themselves as ''Africans'',even if their family is originally from the caribbean.  It amazed me how some caribbean blacks seem to act like they are Africans when they go to Europe. Yet they don't even share the same culture or language. Sure they are of african descent but not Africans. Especially since Africa has so many different languages and cultures.

Question What do you think about blacks who can't speak one african language or have family in africa or nigeria but call themselves Africans?

Deji1010:

Hi blackcat,
I strongly disagree that Nigerians are very racist to white men.
What does Agberos and deported Nigerians do to them?
The truth is that we don't even cherish ourselves (blacks),we daily curse ourselves and
devalue our individual interest.
Have u have experience with multinational or Nigerian brand companies how they gave great respect to the white friends of us OVER THE BLACKS.

I'm not referring to multinational or Nigerian brand companies (how many Nigerians have jobs with these companies). I'm talking about the masses.

I have seen whites been harassed, kidnapped insulted by Nigerians in our market areas, by Agbesu boys of Rivers/Bayelsa state (did my NYSC orientation in Bayelsa), on the streets by children singing and clapping oyinbo pepper. Most Nigerians married to foreigners especially whites are considered not to be married yet or are asked to marry a son or daughter of the soil. The average Nigerian is racist towards a white man. Let’s just say you, I and a few others are more liberal.

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Hi Bwestind,
Home is home is a popular adage in Africa which reflects that no Africans or betterstill
blacks will ever forgot is root, take cue from Obama, Nelson Mandela, Zinade Zidane,
Patrick Viera, Pastor Mattew Ashimolowo to mention few of the living ones as a better example of blacks that remember thier roots and openly profess it.
Blacks in Caribbeans,South Americans,American negroes etc are all "BLACK WITH ORIGIN FROM AFRICAN"
African geneaology indicates how the white brothers invade our land- AFRICA and forcefully stole our ancient fathers and mothers into slavery.I guess you are conversant
with African slavery,it is the one that bring about my brothers in some parts of the world not been able to speak language or locate their roots.

Lets not forget the ugly part of slavery, which we tend to brush under the carpet, some slaves were captured and sold/exchanged, BY AFRICANS. We engaged in a lesser form of slavery way before they came.

The truth is often a bitter pill to swallow. We are still behaving in a similiar way today.

The truth is often a bitter pill to swallow. We are still behaving in a similiar way today
GREAT Talk.we are not behaving, we are soaked deep in mordern slavery.The mordern slavery has contributed to backwardness of BLACK RACE.

Lets not forget the ugly part of slavery, which we tend to brush under the carpet, some slaves were captured and sold/exchanged, BY AFRICANS. We engaged in a lesser form of slavery way before they came.

The truth is often a bitter pill to swallow. We are still behaving in a similiar way today.

None of my ancestors in the caribbean sold slaves. Does slavery in Africa last until the next generation of people? Are people in Africa breeding people to work the plantations ?

Hi Bwestind,
Home is home is a popular adage in Africa which reflects that no Africans or betterstill
blacks will ever forgot is root, take cue from Obama, Nelson Mandela, Zinade Zidane,
Patrick Viera, Pastor Mattew Ashimolowo to mention few of the living ones as a better example of blacks that remember  their roots and openly profess it.
Blacks in Caribbeans,South Americans,American negroes etc are all "BLACK WITH ORIGIN FROM AFRICAN" African geneaology indicates how the white brothers invade our land- AFRICA and forcefully stole our ancient fathers and mothers into slavery.I guess you are conversant
with African slavery,it is the one that bring about my brothers in some parts of the world not been able to speak language or locate their roots.

True, but my point was most of the people you name have family in Africa and probably can speak an African language/s. Blacks of the Americas are of African descent because we come from Africa. But to run around calling ourselves Africans is just as stupid as white canadians calling themselves Europeans.

abuse is not just a nigerian thing and i think its mainly the kind of houseold and parents, you need to check out white ppl and them cursing each other out with the Bleep this and bloody this, we still have that culture in yoruba that parents must not curse children because the curse might kinda stick to them so mostly parents chastice children with abuse like imu e bi igo lucozade or smthing like that not the olori buruku and stuffs, any parent cursing like that is not representing the generality of yoruba parents, in my family theres no cursing but abuse like mild at times playful or comical ones never cursing

@Londoner

I understand what you are saying but I think you are overstating the level of the abuse that goes on in the UK and totally missing the point made by the original poster.

Yes people can be abusive in the UK but then there are also certain standards that must be adhered to in public places. For instance, a teacher can not openly be abusive to their pupils but I have seen such cases like that in Nigeria where a teacher will think that it is ok to refer to a child as ‘Stupid’ or having ‘no brain’ in front of their peers. That is an offence that would warrant the sack in the UK and abusive students would be expelled indefinitely!

Some Nigerians also think that it is quite normal for a mother or parent to abuse their child. The last time I was in Nigeria, the family that I stayed with regularly referred to the youngest child as a 'goat' or called her 'stupid' whenever she innocently made a mistake as a child often does.

When I asked why they did that and stated that such abuse rained on one from their own family could have detrimental effects on the child later on in life, I was promptly told: "Nigerian children are not like Oyinbo children o!"

You have obviously not been in the UK long if you think that one can not be fined or banned from certain public areas for being verbally abusive. Have you ever heard of an ASBO?


Title: A Guide to Anti-social Behaviour Orders and Acceptable Behaviour contracts
Number of pages: 86
Date published: November 2002
Anti-social behaviour has a wide legal definition – to paraphrase the Crime and Disorder Act 1998, it is behaviour which causes or is likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress to one or more people who are not in the same household as the perpetrator. Among the forms it can take are:
• graffiti – which can on its own make even the tidiest urban spaces look squalid
• abusive and intimidating language, too often directed at minorities[color=#990000][/color]• excessive noise, particularly late at night
• fouling the street with litter
• drunken behaviour in the streets, and the mess it creates
• dealing drugs, with all the problems to which it gives rise.

Also try being verbally abusive to the driver or passengers on London Buses or any of the Staff on the Underground and see if you are not issued with a ASBO.

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23384768-details/16-year-old+is+banned+from+top+deck+of+every+bus/article.do

I really think Nigerians are abusive. But mainly in a fun way. You abuse someone with all your might in traffic, but the next second you are joking with you companion in the car. Its not too personal. Its just a way of expression. I try not to do it but I have a lot of fun listening to the insults that fly around. I think it also helps not to get over sensitive. We don't want to get too neurotic do we?

If you go with a detached mind you could die of laughter in traffic. The things you hear.

Elosela, I was born and raised in the UK, so I think I am well placed to tell what abuses I have seen , not only that, I worked in the legal field for a number of years and know which types of cases are commonly brought and won when it comes to abuse. Its not about written definition only, but practical application, ie reality.

Its true that teachers in the Uk are not allowed to abuse pupils, yet I have had teachers call pupils N*ggers, in primary school a teacher manhandled a classmate to the point where she left marks on her body. In secondary school a male teacher actually struck a child. The point I am making is that the impression outsiders have of what actually goes on abroad does not reflect the truth often. People everywhere do what they ought not to do by law.

Are you telling me you have never witnessed children verbally abused by parents in the UK, not even in a supermarket? Calling them stupid and swearing? It is very common.

I have never said one cannot be fined for being abusive, my point is that it is rare, unless its a work situation or racial abuse etc (on public transport, place of work etc, which I had previously stated). How often do you hear of two perfect strangers abusing eachother (on bus train etc) and bringing a suit in court?  I can tell you as someone who has worked in many courts, it is rare unless its a physical assault,  and most are not brought to court at all, or even reported to the police.

I do agree with your point about some African parents feeling its ok to say hurtful things to their children, but I hear much worse abuse rained on my English neighbours children to be honest.

The fact that there are such things as asbos tells you that its in reaction to the emergence of an abusive culture in the UK, not so?

@Londoner
I agree with your point re: ‘practical application’ but the fact that such rules are in place to discourage this type of behaviour speaks for itself.

You may have seen teachers racially abuse children but again, the point I was trying to make was that it was an offence that would warrant the sack! I did not say that it was unheard of.

Yes, people ought to behave in a dignified and respectful manner at all times without the law requiring them to do so. However, as you may agree, human nature can sometimes be unpredictable and so it is good that deterrents like the law and fines are in place.

The fact that social laws are not in place in Nigeria is the real the issue here. People can run riot and do what the hell they want, practically getting away with murder because of the lack of such laws.

During my first time in Nigeria I saw a Policeman beating the living $hit out of a man in full view of all and sundry before gradually walking into the sunset without anyone doing nowt!

Of course a police beating can take place in the UK but how many Police are blatant enough to do this in full view of the public?

And also are you trying to tell me that a parent who openly abuses their child in a public place will not be frowned upon or even have Social Services called on them with the child placed on the ‘At risk’ register?

The original poster gave an example of a passenger abusing the conductor over a fare on a public bus and when you responded you said that you had seen much worst on London Buses. My point is that someone who behaved this way on the bus could possibly be served with an ASBO.

EloSela:


During my first time in Nigeria I saw a Policeman beating the living $hit out of a man in full view of all and sundry before gradually walking into the sunset without anyone doing nowt!

Which year was that? Believe me no Policeman can dear beat a Nigerian in broad daylight mercilessly and get away with it except that Nigerian was caught stealing which in such cases the public joins in

Ok I see your piont. However, I am not versed in Nigerian law. Are  there no laws against verbal and physical abuse/assault in Nigeria?

There are numerous records of policemen beating and killing people in UK and US, they are rarely prosecuted for it,  they usually  go through the motions to look like they are doing something about it. I do get your point though.

Blackcat:

Which year was that? Believe me no Policeman can dear beat a Nigerian in broad daylight mercilessly and get away with it except that Nigerian was caught stealing which in such cases the public joins in

Last Summer, July 2007, i witnessed an incident close to my house similar to what EloSela described. The victim was stopped by the some police guys, and i think he refused to stop at first so was chased. I think he was on an okada. This guy was literary slapped, and ordered to STRIP NAKED on a side road that links to a major express way. This happened in broad day light. I watched the scene with disgust from my balcony. The policemen had guns and knowing the type of country we live in and the trigger happy police, i wasn't about to play local hero. I really felt for the guy. He was being treated like a criminal before even stepping into a police station. By the way, after all the physical assault he was bundled into the police for some more beatings. This all happened in a decent part of town. I complained to a family member and i was told i hadn't seen anything yet ,
The police are supposed to be a symbol of order in any country, but some of ours are a symbol of terror.

Blackcat:

Which year was that? Believe me no Policeman can dear beat a Nigerian in broad daylight mercilessly and get away with it except that Nigerian was caught stealing which in such cases the public joins in

You are kidding right?

The incident I mentioned happened in the late 80s.

There is even a thread on nairaland somewhere about a man who travelled to Nigeria from the US for the first time in 15 years. This poor soul was mistaken for a theif and beaten beaten mercilessly by the police before they established his true identity.

How many innocent people have been in the market and have been unceremoniously burnt to death because somebody yelled thief?

Where is the justice?

Do a google search on 'Nigerian Police beatings' and tell me what you come back with.

@Londoner

The police can be brutal in any country but the audacity and barefacedness of the Nigerian police is a different kettle of fish altogether.

Nigeria is a lawless society.

Man is abusive by nature. We've got our weakness as a nation but totally painting our society as abusive and excluding the western world is totally wrong. I believe we have a great complex and must believev in our selves to come out the mire we are in as a nation. We are great and have potentials,we must look within and be very contextual in solving our problems. Yes some Nigerians do have a complex. I was at a bank in Abuja and was waiting for my turn to use the machine. I observed to my horror that the security man ignored security rules and opened the door,putting off the metal detectors and allowed her in,afterwhich others Nigerians had to pass through the checking procedure. When asked he said she was a major customer. What about that!

A lot of people in Nigeria dont know many things that happen abroad. They assume that no bad thing happens abroad and that everything bad is Nigerian

I personally would have a hardtime living my whole life in someone else country. But I understand that everyone can't live-in their own homeland. In your own country you get less abuse,but when you visit other places people are not always nice,especially if you have a different culture or look different to the natives. People with similar cultures to the native European get treated bad. Look at the few blacks from martinique living in France,their culture is not that different from the native french but they still deal with discrimination. The small portion of whites in Maritinique and the rest of the West Indies are racist too. So imagine when they are in their own countries.