Engaged?is It A Criteria?

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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, iice)  |  Engaged?is It A Criteria?
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Author Topic: Engaged?is It A Criteria?  (Read 593 views)
joycee87
Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« on: March 18, 2008, 09:06 PM »

women,what if u find out the person you're inlove with is engaged to another girl,and from the way things are the both of u have feelings for eachother,as a woman would u leave him for d girl,not minding the fact that they are just engaged but not yet gone to the altar.

guys,would u leave d girl you're engaged to,for someone else,because u have compared them both and found out that u love d other one dan the one you're engaged to,how will u break up wt your fiancee,that is if u make up your mind to leave her,if not how do u let the other one u just fell inlove wt go?
allonym
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #1 on: March 18, 2008, 10:31 PM »

Hmm

The person with whom I am entering a monogamous relationship with is seeing someone else behind my back.

Sounds like they are cheating on me.

Isn't the response here to end the relationship?
joycee87
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #2 on: March 18, 2008, 10:35 PM »

in this case he is already engaged before u came into the picture and at the end of d day u are already falling inlove wt him,not minding that he is engaged
morenike09 (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #3 on: March 18, 2008, 10:48 PM »

there are two cases

1. I f i knew the guy before, and we were friendsand i began having feelings for him, and during that period of time he gets engaged to her,  i'll try to get him. but if he's truly in love with the girl and wants to marry her, i'll leave him because once he's in love with her, she'll always come b/w us

2. if the guy was engaged before i met himthen i'll have to find a way to  stop having feelings for him. because he already belongs to someone elselet him marry her. .
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #4 on: March 18, 2008, 11:02 PM »

@morenike
i don't think so,the fact that he is engaged does not give d other girl the license of owning him,sometimes it happens that its not d person u date or you're engaged to u must marry,God has a way of doing things u know,maybe d girl he is engaged to is not really his missing rib,and then God decided to send another girl to him and him to her also,for me girl,as long as they is no words like YES I DO ,i still have a chance ,afterall IT IS NOT OVER UNTIL IT IS OVER
HR.hotness (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #5 on: March 18, 2008, 11:06 PM »

the way i see it a broken engagement is less painfull than a broken marriage
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #6 on: March 18, 2008, 11:09 PM »

@hotness

u are d bomb

@topic
a guy is engaged but not yet married,if marriages can end then what is relationship,the only time a girl should be blamed is if the guy is married then she should hands up,but hence he is just engaged,he is still available.
morenike09 (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #7 on: March 18, 2008, 11:10 PM »

Quote from: jennykadry on March 18, 2008, 11:02 PM
@morenike
i don't think so,the fact that he is engaged does not give d other girl the license of owning him,sometimes it happens that its not d person u date or you're engaged to u must marry,God has a way of doing things u know,maybe d girl he is engaged to is not really his missing rib,and then God decided to send another girl to him and him to her also,for me girl,as long as they is no words like YES I DO ,i still have a chance ,afterall IT IS NOT OVER UNTIL IT IS OVER
you're correct about thatbut what if you're not his missing rib, and girl he was engaged to was? so, you'll prefer to take the risk?


dnt mean to be rude. . ,  but think about the two people in this relationshipwhat if the other girl actually does love him? you'll break a heart to gain what is yoursand at the end, you find out he's not meant for you.
tommyex (m)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #8 on: March 18, 2008, 11:19 PM »

see babe oo
i wan comot jare,catch ya
joycee87
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #9 on: March 18, 2008, 11:19 PM »

@morenike

you are quite right too,i guess i understand u,what i know in life is let no situation intimidate u,in life we all take risks,any body that aint a risk taker is not ready to live life,afterall marriage itself is a risk ,for better for worst,meaning both in good and bad time,i believe if u want something and that thing u want is good,let go of d inner voice that trys to tell u its a risk u might end up loosing at the end,follow your heart,but as for risks we all take risks everyday,and believe me every risk u take ,gains u more maturity,for me i'm prepared to take that risk
morenike09 (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #10 on: March 18, 2008, 11:28 PM »

Quote from: joycee87 on March 18, 2008, 11:19 PM
@morenike

you are quite right too,i guess i understand u,what i know in life is let no situation intimidate u,in life we all take risks,any body that aint a risk taker is not ready to live life,afterall marriage itself is a risk ,for better for worst,meaning both in good and bad time,i believe if u want something and that thing u want is good,let go of d inner voice that trys to tell u its a risk u might end up loosing at the end,follow your heart,but as for risks we all take risks everyday,and believe me every risk u take ,gains u more maturity,for me i'm prepared to take that risk


LOL. . i understand  your point. . you're right. . like is like "the survival of the fittest", each  fight for what is theirs. you're right, i f i feel for him, i should go for him, and if the other also feels for him, she should fight hard to keep him. in the end, the bobo makes the choice, he picks who he favors the most.


Quote from: tommyex on March 18, 2008, 11:19 PM
see babe oo
i wan comot jare,catch ya
ki lo tunde owetin you dey run from. . . pada wa sibi now!!  Tongue
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #11 on: March 18, 2008, 11:37 PM »

@morenike

thats d spirit baby,as a woman never allow any woman intimidate u,when u want sthg go for it,as for me,i love challenges sometimes,because challenges brings out the real u and gives u so much experience on how to intimidate life itself,as long as d guy as not said Ido,GIRL,i go put my head ooooo,and win the guy,when i have one d guy then i can now CLAP FOR MYSELF AND SAY WELL DONE GIRL,You GOT IT AT LAST,i pray u don't find yourself in such situation in life,but if u do,girl,go for what u want
morenike09 (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #12 on: March 18, 2008, 11:46 PM »

Quote from: jennykadry on March 18, 2008, 11:37 PM
@morenike

thats d spirit baby,as a woman never allow any woman intimidate u,when u want sthg go for it,as for me,i love challenges sometimes,because challenges brings out the real u and gives u so much experience on how to intimidate life itself,as long as d guy as not said Ido,GIRL,i go put my head ooooo,and win the guy,when i have one d guy then i can now CLAP FOR MYSELF AND SAY WELL DONE GIRL,You GOT IT AT LAST,i pray u don't find yourself in such situation in life,but if u do,girl,go for what u want

yea. . . i hope not to. . moi, am a long way from that  ;Dbut this is life, no one can predict what tomorrow will bringthanks,  Smiley
D-reloaded (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #13 on: March 18, 2008, 11:50 PM »

would you want someone saying the same if you were engaged?
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #14 on: March 18, 2008, 11:58 PM »

@D-reloaded

like i said sometimes ,like i said its an open field for battle,there is sthg the girl aint giving d guy that is y d guy is looking outside,u don't own anybody,unless u have ,gone to the altar,but hence its just engagement,its an open ground,not only to guys but also to girls,i don't see myself in such situation,but if i happen to find myself,then i have to fight back to get what i believe belongs to me
D-reloaded (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #15 on: March 19, 2008, 12:08 AM »

This is why people esp females scare me

No respect for boundaries. If a person can't respect the boundary of SOON TO BE MARRIED, what is stopping them from trying to butt into a marriage with the excuse of "well it hasnt been 5 years yet, it could end anytime" and so on?

Ridiculous


morenike09 (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #16 on: March 19, 2008, 12:13 AM »

Quote from: D-reloaded on March 19, 2008, 12:08 AM
This is why people esp females scare me

No respect for boundaries. If a person can't respect the boundary of SOON TO BE MARRIED, what is stopping them from trying to butt into a marriage with the excuse of "well it hasnt been 5 years yet, it could end anytime" and so on?

Ridiculous



marriage is another matterthe woman is engaged to the man, does it mean she owns him? sure, i get your point, but if the engagement is strong enough to counter the other woman, then the engagement is strong enough to withstand any storm. however, if not, then what can we say for the marriage?

jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #17 on: March 19, 2008, 12:15 AM »

@morenike

Ride on,very good reply
Gamine (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #18 on: March 19, 2008, 12:18 AM »

Hmmm,  , ,
I thought if someone was engaged to someone else
it usually meant they actually WANT/ARE going to get married

But these days i wonder sha Undecided Lips sealed
D-reloaded (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #19 on: March 19, 2008, 12:19 AM »

alagolo I know  do get you however for those who would purposely and savagely try to break up a relationship JUST TO TEST whether an engagement is strong enough are pitiful.

I mean look at the concept of second wives, obviously they don't even care about the boundary of marriage talkless of engagement. such people are pitiful.
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #20 on: March 19, 2008, 12:24 AM »

@d-reloaded

i think you're finding it difficult to differentiate between marriage and relationship,i will keep saying it,as long as d guy is not married he is still free,but if hes married all girl should hands off,the only time a girl owns a guy is when she has taken an oath before GOD AND MAN,pledging her whole life to d guy,i mean the I DO oath,if not he is still available
morenike09 (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #21 on: March 19, 2008, 12:28 AM »

Quote from: D-reloaded on March 19, 2008, 12:19 AM
alagolo I know  do get you however for those who would purposely and savagely try to break up a relationship JUST TO TEST whether an engagement is strong enough are pitiful.

I mean look at the concept of second wives, obviously they don't even care about the boundary of marriage talkless of engagement. such people are pitiful.
i understand youwhen a man is engaged, his fiance might not be chosen one or his soul mate. . but once a man is married. that's another matter. either he wants the marriage or not, he belongs to her and she belongs to him. now if another girl is trying to step between them, that's totally wrong and ridiculous.


and people that are trying to test is a different matterthe poster asked if you "love" the guy, we're talking about love here. if you no love the guy and you're messing with him, my only hope is that the same happens to that girl during her engagement
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #22 on: March 19, 2008, 12:31 AM »

@morenike

thats right
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #23 on: March 19, 2008, 12:38 AM »

@morenike
infact your replies morenike,are really tripping me,keep it up girl

@d-loaded
we are talking about love here,not a player games,if d girl really loves d guy let her go for him,but if she doesnt love the guy,like morenike said,may  she face such problems in life,its very simple,that a girl is engaged,doesn't mean she owns d man,she needs to be in a confirmed state in status,i mean going to the altar,if not he is still free

earthrealm (m)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #24 on: March 20, 2008, 01:15 AM »

a broken engagement/courtship is better than a broken marriage
chinda3
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #25 on: March 20, 2008, 09:07 PM »

i don't see anything wrong wt it,afterall the guy is not married so i believe a girl still has a chance wt him,afterall if the girl is inlove wt him,they r free,but if d girl aint inlove then its bad cis she is just trying to destroy the other girls relationship wt d guy,but hence d guy has not said I DO,he is still free
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #26 on: March 20, 2008, 09:14 PM »

na true u talk chinda,the guy is engaged doesnt mean he is married
ifyalways (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #27 on: March 20, 2008, 09:16 PM »

@topic,Once a man is engaged to be married hes strictly off limits for me.if i have known him as a friend before he got engaged or after he got engaged,hes simply another girls own.i would let him go peacefully.so many men out there.  Cool
jennykadry (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #28 on: March 20, 2008, 09:19 PM »

@ifyalways
what if that man happens to be your missing rib ,thats y God brought him your way and u his way,would u say because hes engaged,then u will let him go,sometimes engaged couples also break up when they find out they are not meant to be together
chinda3
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #29 on: March 20, 2008, 09:23 PM »

@jennykadry
u are very right
@ifyalways
what if d guy is truly yours,and the feelings are there between d both of u,cut it out girl he is not married,the bible records marriage only when the man and d woman swears to an oath in church,and if they have not sweared to this oath,the girl is free,
chinda3
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #30 on: March 20, 2008, 09:26 PM »

@jennykadry
u are very right
@ifyalways
what if d guy is truly yours,and the feelings are there between d both of u,cut it out girl he is not married,the bible records marriage only when the man and d woman swears to an oath in church,and if they have not sweared to this oath,the guy is free,
ifyalways (f)
Re: Engaged?is It A Criteria?
« #31 on: March 20, 2008, 09:40 PM »

Quote from: jennykadry on March 20, 2008, 09:19 PM
@ifyalways
what if that man happens to be your missing rib ,thats y God brought him your way and u his way,would u say because hes engaged,then u will let him go,sometimes engaged couples also break up when they find out they are not meant to be together
. . .let him go and break up first and come back,i would have no hand in it please.what is mine would get to me without me fighting or trying to help nature take its course.i still maintain that for ME,an engaged fellow is off limits.once i find out you are engaged, am taking a walk.if he breaks up and we get to meet again,fine but i WONT encourage cheating in any way by keeping a relationship with an engaged man.No,even a seeminly harmless relationship might turn to sumtin else.
Talking of God,hes so perfect,he doesnt make mistakes.what hes destined to happen would happen without us having to struggle/fight  for it.its like helping God to do his work and i can't do that.
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