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jkpretty (f)
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When good guys hurt u, u find it hard to forgive because the pain remains so intense and u might probably not forget. Or break up. But for a bad guy u can easily overlook the same offense. Does this fall under the category of the adage "Life isn't fair". Or a thing of choice?  |
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efuah (f)
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The pain is deep bcus we think they are too harmless to hurt an ant. . . too good. . . next to angels, but they are not. Nobody is really good dear. We all have a percentage of evil in us, but as rational as one can be, u put your actions to check. This is what i was talking about sometime ago. . . we trust some "good guys" to the core. In relationships, be ready for both. . . negative n positive.
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opokonwa (m)
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When good guys hurt u, u find it hard to forgive because the pain remains so intense and u might probably not forget. Or break up. But for a bad guy u can easily overlook the same offense. Does this fall under the category of the adage "Life isn't fair". Or a thing of choice? What exactly do you mean by good guys? Who is a good guy in this context??? |
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jkpretty (f)
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What exactly do you mean by good guys?
Who is a good guy in this context???
I'm sure u know the meaning of "good" & the meaning of "bad". This shouldn't give u a headache. Borrow from efuah. |
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pahtahkee
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The keyword here is TRUST. It is the determinant to a good relationship or a heartache. You already think a good guy is trust reliable, but it is not always so. On the other hand, you already know a bad guy is bad no need to trust him and when he messes it up, you are free from heartache. |
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almondjoy (f)
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When good guys hurt u, u find it hard to forgive because the pain remains so intense and u might probably not forget. Or break up. But for a bad guy u can easily overlook the same offense. Does this fall under the category of the adage "Life isn't fair". Or a thing of choice? Wrong! Speak for yourself. I will hurt but it will go away because I forgive easily. Having lived a good childhood and a good adulthood. . . I am a stranger to unhappiness because I just don't give people that kind of power over me. Where I cannot forgive youI forget you very easily. Life is very fair and it is a thing of choice. If you want to liveyou will live. If you want to diethen you will have lots of help and no one will give a damn!You can only give people the power to hurt you if you are weak and have no alternatives to make yourself happy. If you are beautifulindependentsexylovable. . . and just outright human, you will always have options to make you happy. Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez come to mind. Never give anyone the power to leave any kind of hurt in you when he or she leaves your life. Package that hurt and send it with them so they can get their own "just rewards" in the future too. If you let it stay with you. . . your happiness and success go with them.  It is not about good guy or bad guy. . . .it is all about you!No one is indispensable I say! |
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danity
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I agree with Efuah!
The level of expectation differs according to the badness of the guy. You expect a good guy to be responsible and adhering to all your rules. On the other hand - you expect a bad guy to misbehave. That's why.
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almondjoy (f)
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What exactly do you mean by good guys?
Who is a good guy in this context???
My point exactly! It is all the the girl's mind jare! |
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jkpretty (f)
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@Aj
This isn't about the person concerned. I think its a thing of expectations. Its not a matter of proving yourself & or letting someone have power over u. The truth is when there's a break up someone must hurt. Now the hurt may vary. Two different guys commit the same offense and one can be easily pardoned & the other is unpardonable. This has nothing to do with your person. I just notice this happens a lot. Some men can be forgiven over & over again while some won't.
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Joey82 (m)
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@jk, hi
In truth, there isnt any good guy ( as in 100% good), it all depends on situations at a particular point in time and your expectations from d relationship. Sometimes, guys u think can't hurt a fly can actually turn to bite hard and d ones that look bad can actually be good within.
Most importantly, a guy treats a girl according to what he wants from her.
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bebe2007 (f)
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It hurts so much when someone you least expect hurts you. Speaking from experience, its one of the worst feelings i have had in ages. The ache just refuses to go away. When its a bad guy, you are ready and waiting for it to happen but this said "good guy" just takes you unawares. He really did stab my heart. Trying to forgive and forget the whole thing though havent got a choice.
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Busta (f)
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@jk
such is life and life ain't fair.
one way or the other . . .we gotta learn to deal with things like this.
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zheroes (m)
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whoever hurts you is a bad guy!!! good guys go all the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to the ALTAR, Unless it becomes unavoidably necessary.
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jkpretty (f)
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whoever hurts you is a bad guy!!! good guys go all the wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to the ALTAR, Unless it becomes unavoidably necessary.
Yeah and the truth is that the good guy might still want to go to the altar with u. But he hurt remains unpardonable. And u'll rather break up. Or are u saying good guys don't hurt? |
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zheroes (m)
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Yeah and the truth is that the good guy might still want to go to the altar with u. But he hurt remains unpardonable. And u'll rather break up. Or are u saying good guys don't hurt?
may be am not getting you clearly, hurt as in heartbreak or just getting you angry over trivial issues? |
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jkpretty (f)
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Any kind of hurt that could bring heartbreak.
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Imani (f)
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It hurts so much when someone you least expect hurts you. Speaking from experience, its one of the worst feelings i have had in ages. The ache just refuses to go away. When its a bad guy, you are ready and waiting for it to happen but this said "good guy" just takes you unawares. He really did stab my heart. Trying to forgive and forget the whole thing though havent got a choice.
Sorry about your experience  . I love with my head rather than heart. My heart is too precious to allow any man to break, hurt or stab  . Maybe my temperament has something to do with it |
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nana (f)
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I agree with Efuah
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ibkaye (f)
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because you think that they are so nice they can't possibly hurt you in any way yeah right when it comes to the bad guys, it's almost expected of them to do something to hurt you possibly therefore it doesnt hurt as much?  |
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stillwater (f)
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I avoid anything that will bring hurt.
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jkpretty (f)
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I avoid anything that will bring hurt.
You can't avoid hurt all your life, atimes the more protective u are of yourself, the more vulnerable u become. Much more, hurt doesn't knock on the door, it comes when u are unguarded. That's why hurts. |
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yemivictor (m)
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I agree with almondjoy completely!
We should learn to forgive because it is a virtue in itself!!
And i dare say that i'm a living witness & beneficiary of almondjoy's large heart!!!
Her graciousness @ forgiving easily also!!
What a wonderful lady she is!
And i hear she's not bad looking & that she's got cute nails too!!! 
I happen to have a fetish for cute nails!  . . . . . . . .
A big kiss to you AJ!
Mmmwwaaaaaaaaaaahh!!!
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ifyalways (f)
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@topic,am more along AJ's lines . . .its all about ME not HIM |
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ladybird
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no good guy would hurt.so the issue of good guys hurting u is out of it.
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PERVERT9
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the reason why its so deep is that good guys have long "thing" the longer the deeper
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tommyex (m)
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EFUAH did much justice to this topic sweety,how your family? Hope he is good to you  |
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tommyex (m)
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Pervert
can u be serious?jus 4 this thread
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PERVERT9
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Pervert
can u be serious?jus 4 this thread
how serious would you like me to be? abeg o |
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almondjoy (f)
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jkpretty (f)
Lagos
Posts: 1050
Offline
Re: When Good Guys Hurt You, The Pain Is So Deep. Why?
« #8 on: Today at 10:00:22 AM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@Aj
This isn't about the person concerned. I think its a thing of expectations. Its not a matter of proving yourself & or letting someone have power over u. The truth is when there's a break up someone must hurt. Now the hurt may vary. Two different guys commit the same offense and one can be easily pardoned & the other is unpardonable. This has nothing to do with your person. I just notice this happens a lot. Some men can be forgiven over & over again while some won't.
It's to a certain point in life. . . you know what to expect from "humans" as a whole. No surprises. Like I said, you can never trust anyone with your most prized possession. . . your heart. Good guy or bad guy. . . .they both have the potentials to hurt. You loved the "bad" guy didn't you? Example. . . if a good guy rapes you, you will feel more hurt than if a bad guy rapes you? Focus: rape is rape. author=Imani link=topic=122879.msg2097714#msg2097714 date=1206628227] Sorry about your experience . I love with my head rather than heart. My heart is too precious to allow any man to break, hurt or stab . Maybe my temperament has something to do with it Simple! I wish women would take more control over their emotions! |
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