How To Disappear To London

dude, this is your lucky day because i hv that info for u.

first you have to fast for 2 weeks, then go to the ogoni cave, wearing nothing but a yellow leaf on your head . walk precisely 12.09578 - 0.23 feet into it  (FYI if u miscalculate u'll miss it)

then make a definite 62.84 degree left turn into a narrow crevice in the cave walls. at this point, you have to totally ignore all da evil decayed spirits and

ghosts trying to grab at u n stuff.  . take 3.22 steps n u'll mysteriously find yourself in the heart of da evil forest . remember: ignore all EVIL forces.

u'l see a very small hill  at 44.89 degrees NW of your position. don't be fooled, the hill looks 10 feet tall, but it takes TWO whole days n nights to climb it

(FYI :it is called AKULAMAGBAGO HILL: the home of d headless. so know what 2 expect) . if u make it over this hill, u'l meet the NBLAGHSETA RIVER: the blood of the dead

u have to swim 16.893 feet across it and 48.096 feet into the depths. at the bottom, u'll see a 1*1 ft sized hole which u hv to squeeze through

and this is where u'l meet ALAKAGBONDORU: the old wise tortoise (426.89 year old tortoise and also an immigration expert and travel agent) .

but he cannot help you to europe, so he'll have to give u further evil directions to the herbalist whom u seek for the concortion.

GOOD LUCK my friend in your great quest to come abroad, 

@Poster!
Are you all right at all?You are a confirmed mungu , and na your kind all this herbalist dey tak echop and send their pikin to school,keep seraching there is an onlin eberbalist who states that he can hepl nairalanders go abroad babadbia or whatever he calls himsef or better still go become witch or wizard then your spirit will be able to project anywhere in the world but watchout there are consequences for it ooo.

my question is still not answered.

Don't be so harsh, I'm sure he's just kidding.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLL 

Of all places to disappear to?

Lol!

My dear Bigmodo i like you so much because you are a true Desperado and you don't know how to hide it.  

No try bank vault ooo,na dere hin go die ,its not like Nigeria vaults that you can open and close anyhow without authorization,casue if he sholud try it,he will find himself in the great beyond!

E no get wetin person no go see for this NAIRALAND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH.