Open Marriage?

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Date: October 11, 2008, 06:27 AM
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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Romance (Moderators: mukina2, debosky, iice)  |  Open Marriage?
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Author Topic: Open Marriage?  (Read 485 views)
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #32 on: April 02, 2008, 03:59 PM »

Quote
Why would you be infected with STD if the necessary PPM ( Privates Protective Materials) are used??

And how many people take heed to such?
Needlelady (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #33 on: April 02, 2008, 04:00 PM »

Quote
And how many people take heed to such?

They are not even 100% guaranteed especially against the incurable herpes, lots of  unsuspecting women contract herpes from men(especially their husbands)  because they wouldn't zip up and the disease is so evil that you won't know he's infected unless he tells you.
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #34 on: April 02, 2008, 04:16 PM »

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 03:59 PM
And how many people take heed to such?

As to many that heeded, there shall be protection.
A couple in open marriage knows the danger in unprotected sex with others. Therefore, an STD and HIV screening on all the willing patners should be conducted to know their status. This is the first line of defense. PPM is the secondary form of defense.
bawomolo (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #35 on: April 02, 2008, 04:22 PM »

nothing bad with open marriages.  marriages between swingers actually last longer than those of "normal" couples.  monqiue parker has an open marriage.  andre kirelenko of the utah jazz has an open marriage with his wife.  open marriages takes a lot of trust.   most people in open marriages actually engage in protected sex.  it's not cheating on infidelity if both parties agree to it


whatup morenike  Cheesy Cheesy
bawomolo (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #36 on: April 02, 2008, 04:25 PM »

nothing bad with open marriages.  marriages between swingers actually last longer than those of "normal" couples.  monqiue parker has an open marriage.  andre kirelenko of the utah jazz has an open marriage with his wife.  open marriages takes a lot of trust.   most people in open marriages actually engage in protected sex.  it's not cheating on infidelity if both parties agree to it


whatup morenike  Cheesy Cheesy
Needlelady (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #37 on: April 02, 2008, 04:34 PM »

Quote
By Bawomolo,
marriages between swingers actually last longer than those of "normal" couples.
Do you have any evidence to prove this theory? Does that mean that our parents that  have 'closed' marriages were not that 'closed' afterall and their marriage lasted because they were engaged in extramarital affairs?
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #38 on: April 02, 2008, 04:37 PM »

Quote from: Dr Ferlie on April 02, 2008, 04:16 PM
As to many that heeded, there shall be protection.
A couple in open marriage knows the danger in unprotected sex with others. This is the first line of defense. PPM is the secondary form of defense.

So couples not in an open marriage are oblivious to the dangers of having an STD? Please this is just an avenue to avoid your conscience pricking you. Anyway let those who want to be ruled by the slightest pricking and itching of their testosterone and eostrogen be ruled, as for me they lack self control. I know where I keep people that lack such.

Quote
Therefore, an STD and HIV screening on all the willing patners should be conducted to know their status


That's a laugh.
morenike09 (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #39 on: April 02, 2008, 04:41 PM »

Quote from: bawomolo on April 02, 2008, 04:25 PM
whatup morenike  Cheesy Cheesy

hey you. .  Tongue see you're still not keeping out of trouble  Grin i swear you have the strangest ideasso you'll pertain in an open marriage?
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #40 on: April 02, 2008, 05:19 PM »

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 04:37 PM
So couples not in an open marriage are oblivious to the dangers of having an STD? Please this is just an avenue to avoid your conscience pricking you.

Everybody knows the danger. However, It is only those that protect  themselves adequately that are safe. The slogan is safety first.
Why would conscience prick me when  I am doing it rightly and safely??

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 04:37 PM
Anyway let those who want to be ruled by the slightest pricking and itching of their testosterone and eostrogen be ruled, as for me they lack self control. I know where I keep people that lack such.
 That's a laugh.

Need you suffer yourself just for self control sake?  When self could be satisfied fully and safely, must you subdue it??


 
Bblak (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #41 on: April 02, 2008, 05:21 PM »


Open Marriage! Hell NO Not just for me
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #42 on: April 02, 2008, 05:34 PM »

Quote from: Dr Ferlie on April 02, 2008, 05:19 PM
Everybody knows the danger. However, It is only those that protect themselves adequately that are safe. The slogan is safety first.
Why would conscience prick me when I am doing it rightly and safely??

Ohhh an advocate for the cause. *rolls eyes* no need talking to you.

Quote
Need you suffer yourself just for self control sake? When self could be satisfied fully and safely, must you subdue it??

Suffer myself? So I should respond to every whim of myself? If we respond to every whim of self in order to please oneself every poor man shouldn't douse any feeling of engaging in stealing your hard earned money (without being caught, at least that ascertains he was safe while doing it). When he steals your money congratulate him for not suffering his self  
Needlelady (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #43 on: April 02, 2008, 05:37 PM »

Quote
By Dr Ferlie,
Who          Is          Dr Ferlie ?
ooooh lawd, he creeps me out with his philosophy!
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #44 on: April 02, 2008, 05:50 PM »

Quote from: Needlelady on April 02, 2008, 05:37 PM
ooooh lawd, he creeps me out with his philosophy!

mistress needlelady, the feeling is mutual.  Smiley
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #45 on: April 02, 2008, 06:34 PM »

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 05:34 PM
Ohhh an advocate for the cause. *rolls eyes* no need talking to you.
stillwater, so I have stirred your water. Tongue

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 05:34 PM
Suffer myself? So I should respond to every whim of myself? If we respond to every whim of self in order to please oneself every poor man shouldn't douse any feeling of engaging in stealing your hard earned money (without being caught, at least that ascertains he was safe while doing it). When he steals your money congratulate him for not suffering his self 

Your analogy is irrelevant. While couples in open marriage willingly and mutually agree to satisfy their feelings, A thief (poor or not) will not seek for permission before stealing. The feeling afterward is not mutual. He(thief) feels satisfied( if not caught) while he leaves me dejected. Sad
Stillwater, once a feeling could be satisfied rightly, mutually and safely why should you subdue it?? Wink Wink


bawomolo (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #46 on: April 02, 2008, 06:35 PM »

Quote
Do you have any evidence to prove this theory? Does that mean that our parents that  have 'closed' marriages were not that 'closed' afterall and their marriage lasted because they were engaged in extramarital affairs?

yup, your parents probably found some needs(usually sexual or emotional) in extramarital affairs while staying with their partners.  why do u think africans are largely polygamous while europeans tend to have mistresses??


Subjective scientific research has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of lifestyle-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm.[1]

    * 60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier.
    * 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.
    * Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true.
    * Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins.

There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey.

This study is of limited accuracy due to self-selected sampling. Internet-based sampling procedures create a substantial potential for bias. For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively, because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, only those with higher than average commitment are able to remain married while swinging. Couples who have jealousy or strife issues caused by swinging will not usually stay in the lifestyle, and therefore would have been less likely to respond.

ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into the lifestyle. Stossel reported that more than four million people are swingers, according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited Terry Gould's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."[5]
bawomolo (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #47 on: April 02, 2008, 06:37 PM »

Quote
i swear you have the strangest ideas

u know have peaked your interest in those ideas.   Grin Grin Grin


Quote
so you'll pertain in an open marriage?

why not. if it spices up the bedroom and both sides agree to it.
morenike09 (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #48 on: April 02, 2008, 06:43 PM »

Quote from: bawomolo on April 02, 2008, 06:37 PM
u know have peaked your interest in those ideas.   Grin Grin Grin

hmmmyou're right about that. . i dnt have a pick o, but they're intriguing. you're different, one of the reasons why you're interesting is because you can spot the Grey b/w black and white.

but you're creepygosh!! i think you're merely joking, open relationship? so you'll think its on if you come home and your wife is in your bed with another man? one sexier than you? or your best friend? or your brother?  Embarrassed Lips sealed
bawomolo (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #49 on: April 02, 2008, 06:50 PM »

Quote
but you're creepygosh!! i think you're merely joking, open relationship? so you'll think its on if you come home and your wife is in your bed with another man? one sexier than you? or your best friend? or your brother?

hey hey hey, that's a bit to the extreme.  both partners have to agree on the bounds of the open relationship.  friends and family members are out of the equation(disgusting  Lips sealed).  open relationships aren't usually continuous affairs, just once in a while nookie on the side.  the only thing happening on my bed is between me and my wife(or a 3some  Grin Grin)
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #50 on: April 02, 2008, 06:56 PM »

Quote from: Dr Ferlie on April 02, 2008, 06:34 PM
stillwater, so I have stirred your water. Tongue

Nope they are still as still as ever Tongue

Quote
Your analogy is irrelevant. While couples in open marriage willingly and mutually agree to satisfy their feelings, A thief (poor or not) will not seek for permission before stealing. The feeling afterward is not mutual. He(thief) feels satisfied( if not caught) while he leaves me dejected. Sad
Stillwater, once a feeling could be satisfied rightly, mutually and safely why should you subdue it?? Wink Wink

My analogy was relevant, the poor man satisfied his self that you insinuated in your earlier posts we shouldn't try to subdue, mutual ko mutual ni. I would satisfy self only when it correlates with what I believe is morally correct. If it doesn't I throw it to the gutters, thank you I don't need it. I am bounded by certain principles and I can't be easily thrown by the selfish whims of others.
morenike09 (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #51 on: April 02, 2008, 07:23 PM »

Quote from: bawomolo on April 02, 2008, 06:50 PM
hey hey hey, that's a bit to the extreme.  both partners have to agree on the bounds of the open relationship.  friends and family members are out of the equation(disgusting  Lips sealed).  open relationships aren't usually continuous affairs, just once in a while nookie on the side.  the only thing happening on my bed is between me and my wife(or a 3some  Grin Grin)
Bawomolo!!! na wa oyou seems to know this kind of stuff, best  if i dnt ask  Lips sealed Lips sealed
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #52 on: April 02, 2008, 07:27 PM »

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 06:56 PM
Nope they are still as still as ever Tongue

are you sure??  I am set to stir it romantically . Tongue Grin

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 06:56 PM
My analogy was relevant, the poor man satisfied his self that you insinuated in your earlier posts we shouldn't try to subdue, mutual ko mutual ni. I would satisfy self only when it correlates with what I believe is morally correct. If it doesn't I throw it to the gutters, thank you I don't need it. I am bounded by certain principles and I can't be easily thrown by the selfish whims of others.

You are 100% right. open marriage is morally right to those who practice it. The tenets of such relationship is in tune with their principles. what say you??
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #53 on: April 02, 2008, 07:38 PM »

Quote from: Dr Ferlie on April 02, 2008, 07:27 PM
are you sure??  I am set to stir it romantically . Tongue Grin

Those who have tried, were burnt to the third degree. Forewarned is forearmed Tongue

Quote
You are 100% right. open marriage is morally right to those who practice it. The tenets of such relationship is in tune with their principles. what say you??


yes agree, however in my world it is still not morally right.
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #54 on: April 02, 2008, 07:55 PM »

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 07:38 PM
Those who have tried, were burnt to the third degree. Forewarned is forearmed Tongue

Let me try too. Grin Grin Tongue

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 07:38 PM
yes agree, however in my world it is still not morally right.
Good of you. Cool Cool
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #55 on: April 02, 2008, 07:59 PM »

Quote from: Dr Ferlie on April 02, 2008, 07:55 PM
Let me try too. Grin Grin Tongue
Good of you. Cool Cool

Since you are an advocate for open marriages and I'm not, just read my signature.
Busta (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #56 on: April 02, 2008, 08:09 PM »

@Dr Ferlie,

I see u're one of those that enjoy such relationship.
Good for u tho! . . . have fun!
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #57 on: April 02, 2008, 08:18 PM »

Quote from: stillwater on April 02, 2008, 07:59 PM
Since you are an advocate for open marriages and I'm not, just read my signature.

are you an advocate of likes attracting likes?? You might never tell, we could mingle perfectly Wink Cheesy Grin 
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #58 on: April 02, 2008, 08:21 PM »

Quote from: Busta on April 02, 2008, 08:09 PM
@Dr Ferlie,

I see u're one of those that enjoy such relationship.
Good for u tho! . . . have fun!

How did you conclude that I partake in it??
Needlelady (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #59 on: April 02, 2008, 09:17 PM »

Quote
mistress needlelady, the feeling is mutual.
I creep you out too?

Lol, your name sounds gay, don't mind me sha.
Needlelady (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #60 on: April 02, 2008, 09:20 PM »

Quote
By Stillwater,
yes agree, however in my world it is still not morally right.
I'm a little bit dissapointed in you for painting the truth white, are you afraid of the immoral or what?  open marriage is EVIL.
Needlelady (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #61 on: April 02, 2008, 09:22 PM »

Quote
By Bawomolo,
why do u think africans are largely polygamous while europeans tend to have mistresses??
Africans are not polygamous,  rather, some African men are polygamous.
stillwater (f)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #62 on: April 02, 2008, 09:36 PM »

Quote from: Needlelady on April 02, 2008, 09:20 PM
I'm a little bit dissapointed in you for painting the truth white, are you afraid of the immoral or what? open marriage is EVIL.

Nope. I agreed to the fact that people who practiced it feel it is morally right to do so. Open Marriage is evil, are you satisfied?
Dr Ferlie (m)
Re: Open Marriage?
« #63 on: April 02, 2008, 09:39 PM »

Quote from: Needlelady on April 02, 2008, 09:17 PM
I creep you out too?
Lol, your name sounds gay, don't mind me sha.
yours sound lesbo.  Wink Wink

Quote from: Needlelady on April 02, 2008, 09:20 PM
I'm a little bit dissapointed in you for painting the truth white, are you afraid of the immoral or what? open marriage is EVIL.

your opinion doesn't count Tongue. you call evil what you know/experience nothing about.  Sad Sad  lopsided judgement
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