How We Toast Them/how They Toast Us

Never put a pretty girl in the toasting machine   

ROTFLMAO,    I don't know oh!

i have different styles of toasting them, here some of them and believe me they work even though they might sound impossible.

if she is light in complexion and beautiful, i walk up to her and say " hi, emmm sorry, are you an american?" she might get embarrased, angry, or genuinly answer "no , i am a nigarian." i always get an answer no matter the mood.

then i reply "Wow, haw can a Nigerian be this beautiful with such lovely complexion, but seriously, i know you are a half cast"

she blushes, and starts enjoying the comnpliment "no, infact i am from benue state"

i reply, "wow thats lovely, i am from imo state, i wish girls from my state could be like this, you look like an angel, 




if she has long artificial hair, i go like this

"hi," she looks my way. "Sorry(i always say this to sound polite)" i have been starring at you from my seat over there, " i point with my fingers to indicate my former position, this is done most times to reduce tension " and i have been saying to my self, what a beautiful long hair you have, how can you have such a long hair?". most are always sincere by replying, "NO thats not my hair, its attachment."
i reply "wow they look so real. nobody will notice and i like your choice of color of artificial hair, it blends perfectly with your complexion.
she blushes, "thanks"
"my name is,

NOTE there is no guarantee for this method, other variables like her mood and what she thinks about you, might possobly be and extreanous variable, but most times i come out successful.

@Frank 3.16
You got style,  but pretty sad you limit yourself to self made lines. I think conversation should come naturally.
@poster
Your guy tried sha,  so wetin happen afterward? They dated? I’m just curious.

I haven’t asked a girl out in years,  I don’t ask girls out, I just let the tension boil, get acquainted,  and in a short time she discovered that she had developed something for me and assumed me too carry her in my heart cause of the attention… If she’s worth it, she’s worth the time, a thorough “case study”

  & wats is that

all this are very old lines and rarely work on smart ladies.
the first meeting shouldn't really be used to saying how beautiful and gorgeous
a lady is or else your giving her unnnecessary edge.
learn to be friends first because,
most of these women have heard these lines over and over
and they will just laugh in your face.
grow up and go for tutorials

opokunwa u ve got sacarstic humor,
Frag :- Abeg give me a break
Frank 3.16:- your style is old school
P mond Most gals don't fall that assumption tin after d whole heat de jus feel well u didnt ask me out so i was really holding any seriousness to it and this happens when some one very serious approaches den at d end of the day u get bin burnt

MEHN top Hails for Kayowalemi any book u release i must buy it i mean d story line and grammatical everythin was tight
TkB714 that is your opinion am jus real

na wa o, see toasting
the girl must be a whore!

What? is that toasting? if you have not toasted a girl in years then you probably have forgotten how to toast a girl. you probably might be very cute and is relying on your looks to get a girl.

but come to think of it, are the girls who come around you girls of your choice? if they are, what kind of girls are they that don't allow themselves to be toasted?

then what happens when you walk into the library, resturant, cafe restaurant and behold that pretty goddess? I bet you keep on walking around her like a jobless guy until she notices your good looks, then the tension starts boiling blah blah blah

if not i must let you know that getting your self aquinted is also part of toasting therfore you toast.
tell us how u do it.

I must admit I’m a very shy fellow when it comes to confrontational expression of my mind to a lady that I like so much. That one notwithstanding, I find consolations in resorting to the use of letters to bypass the barrier on to them.

I saw a pretty babe in my neighbourhood one cool morning and without her knowing I followed her to her house, just to know where she abode. She was the cutest thing I had seen in years; in a jumper, in a mini skirt, in a pump-up slippers, bangles clanged away on her left wrist as she gingerly catwalked down the sideroad. Her name was Funmi. But quite unfortunate for me the next day my parents told me we were moving out of the place to our own house.

Each letter I wrote to her from our new house was returned to me in a new envelope, torn into several pieces. The stubbornness in me always prevailed, I did not relent in penning down romantic letters and poems to her.
   
After eleventh letter, I got an anonymous letter to come to the girl’s house. It had no writer’s name at the end nor signature. My intuition landed on her father who did a good job of keeping the babe away from a fry like me. It might be one of his ploys to lure me into a trap, I reasoned. A lot of suspicious reasons ransacked my brain but I cool them off and I went.

She met me at the door looking radiant in pink armless top and plaited purple skirt, smiling  like Jennifer Lopez. She introduced me to her lovely mother. I nearly mistaken them for twins. The warm welcome actaully established my initial wobble confidence. At the dinning tables, however, she said her mother told her to tear my letters and send them back to me. Her motive was that if I love her I will keep on writing to her, which I did.

I was treated to a good lunch that day and thereafter and before I left Funmi that very evening, she gave me a percel containing envelopes with my replies.

More to come WATCH OUT

It is an extract from a story I wrote for competition

LOl,  . ,  . . .  . . 

I will make sure this guy is very far away from my sister