Bride Price/dowry, Do You Support Or Oppose It?

On this controverisal topic, Bride price should be abolished since there shouldn't be a price tag on a human being. My opponent argued that modernism should not replace our dear (?) tradition, and so on, we argued back and forth with each side presenting some convincing views on either to abolish or retain this custom. I am of the view that the bride price is primitive, it stiffles a woman's place in her matrimonial home and thereby has no place in today's world. It is akin to auctioning your child to the highest bidder. Surprisingly, one of the ladies told me that it is not a must that one has to pay for the required sum, but it can be haggled, but now, I wonder, must women be reduced to the status of a commodity to be haggled for (like you would for a price of nintendo at Aba Market  Wink )just so that the 'right' sum of money could be paid to the parents. Then another lady asked me, "Nna, you wan marry woman for free"? And I retorted, "Sure, I could pay the price, but I would expect her to fulfil the traditional obligations required of her in the matrimonial home and concluded that I wont entertain her views  that "this is the 21st century, honey, get with the flow".

A family friend of my cousin, an MD recently got married to a Pastor in Nigeria. What should have been a happy occasion was sort of tempered by the attitude of the bride's mother, because her new son in law is a pastor. Is it any wonder that the teaching profession is not a desirable position in Nigeria. But there is a catch towards this trend. Occasionally, when marital dispute arises, the man might taunt his wife, "Upon the money that I paid on your head, yet, you can't prepare a decent meal for me". An insult to the status of the madam of the house and a step backwards to the primitive days when women had no say in the society. Would you agree with me that the woman's role in the kitchen was already cemented when the man had paid her dowry so that she would clean, cook and take care of him?

Men and women, abi, Ladies and Gentlemen, what are your views on this subject?

Yes i support bride price/dowry, it limit many men from polygamy.

What's surprising about it?

If u have the money, pay it and don't be stingy. Its not like you are buying her because u can't,  Every human is worth more than $100Billion. Its just a ceremony, Its our culture and there is nothing wrong wit it. Its a sign of appreciation.
However, when purpose is not known, abuse in inevitable. Some men think they are buying the way (how parochail?). Such are the men who turn their wives to slaves.
All in all. I see nothing wrong in paying the bride price but at the same time father of brides shouldnt spoil the rite by turning it into business.
In yorube lan, you might be asked to bring oke (5kobo or so) as bride price. U'll sure sweat for that but its not like they want to make money out of it.
It depends on the purpose but basically i see nothig wrong wit it except u r stingy. You should be able to give anything for your wife.

I personaly do not c anything wrong in it. Its our culture. What i do not like is when some fathers decide to make money out of that, thereby asking for some ridiculous amount!

bride price is okay. even in the bible peole pay bride price for their wife.
there is nothin wrong with it- if it is done in the right manner and mindset.

u cannot never buy ur wife 'because she's priceless. the bible says she is worth more than rupies.

Personally, I don't support the practice. In some cultures, paying this bride price has become a big burden for potential couples, even causing engagements to be broken because the man can't 'pay' what the brides family think its suitable for their daughter. In other cases 'unenlightened' men take this 'payment' to mean they own their wives, leading to abuse and what not, not a good situation either. In other cases, it is just a way of showing we haven't lost our cultural background/heritage. People/families should just be reasonable, if you can afford it fine, if not it should be done away with. there are enough difficulties for the intending couple to worry about, no need to add bride price to it.

I respect traditions but only when they enhance us as a people. That top me is slavery "I buy you" "You buy me"
We're talking about people NOT fruit at the market.
It also gives the man an unwarranted sense of superiority.
Gone are the days of the plantation.

between- that money could have gone towards the couple buying a house or a car but instead it went on some patriarchal, exploitative, bull s*hit practice.

Down with Bride prices!!!!!!!!!!!

If they are not selling their daughter why does money exchange hands in the first place? What is the point to giving money to recience it back? That the most ignorant s*hit I heard all day.

If she is not being seen as a possession then why is money such a big factor. Surely her family shouls be most concerned at whether he would be the right PERSON for her. Not the right Money flasher.

@topic

its all tradition!

my view is that even if its not scrapped totally, the bride price should be just a token for symbolism sake. in my family the bride price is ridiculously low. i mean low enough that it fits into the family album. so that when the man f**ks up the girl's family can whip out the naira bill and slap him in the face with it and take their daughter back! Lol.

@ndipe

na you know! haven't you heard that some women need rescuing from "baaad" husbands?

I do support it fully, however, they should not combine it with greed, because with greed to it, it becomes sales of a wife to a petential husband that has money.

Support! 

Abadie!   Yes, I have heard of some parents who demand an arm and a leg from prospective sons-in-law before they give away their daughter in marriage, but I was not referring to such people here.

I used the word 'symbolic', because I was talking about cases where (at the end of the day) the bride price is usually rejected by the bride's family, especially among several communities in the South-West and Edo region. Am not referring to cases where it is obligatory that a man must pay a high dowry or bride price, simply because he is marrying their daughter. In such cases, I hear that the more educational qualifications a woman has, the higher the bride price her family levies on the poor, unsuspecting man! 

Please note: Am not a fan of high bride price. It reduces women to a commodity that is being bought or sold.

If a token amount is demanded, like it is often done in many parts of the North, where sometimes the family of the bride asks for 10 gold-plated coins or 700 pieces of the old twenty-five kobo coins, one may understand the symbolic nature of such a request. Those things are a bit difficult to find, so the chap must go searching before he can find it, in order to prove that because the girl matters a lot to him, he is ready to suffer some discomfort to win her hand in marriage, and win the attention of his prospective in-laws. Such things (i.e. the gold coins or twenty-five kobo coins), do not have a significant, monetary value, but the man's effort in finding and presenting them, is what is acknowledged by the family.

Sure it's all tradition but i don't really support it like that.some men now use the dowry thing as a way of maltreating their wives,cheating on them and putting up an i don't care attitude all in the name of afterall i paid her dowry.