Why Am I Still Scared Of Commitment?

Vex for wetin? you'll spend all your time bed hoppin, if you don't learn to commit. You will commit when you fall in love, because love changes everythin.

sorry oooo,but are u trying to tell us you're a player or what?

@poster
u're scared of commitment because you're still a baby @ heart.
don't worry, u'll soon grow into a man.
what defines a man is patience with bold and giant strides which u lack.

Who has the time for long thing? 2 weeks is even too much!
A day would be better!

lets all give the brother a break he asked a question so we shld be offering solutions,anyway it does happen to most guys even me but i believe all it takes is time you would definitely find that girl that would keep u cool u get 

Poster

It means you are not ready to be committed to your girl yet!  Have you thought to sit down and figure out what kind of woman you want for your wife?. . .finding the characteristics of wife you look for?. . .weighs PROS and CON about relationship or flaws you try to work out?

Here is helpful tips on the following link at below:

10 Insights You should take steps into serious relationship before you get marry her/him
http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-95533.0.html

From that link above has summarized at below for you to find in order to make the strong relationship between two people connect that is based on:

• Trust
• Spirituality
• 4 Characters
• Humility
• Kindness
• Responsibility
• Happiness
• Personal Hygiene
• Communication Skill
• Personal Habits
• Strong Connections
• Good Chemistry and Compatibility
• Shared Common Interest
• Shared Common Life Goal
• Deeper Emotional
• Sexual Compatibility
(refer the knowledge of sexuality)
• Agreed Financial Obligations/Compromise Equally

Don't let your mind clouds you or fear/scare take over you!!! Remember LOVE CONQUERS ALL!!!

@D-reloaded

I recommended you for a nairaland moderator. 

no he yarn say i'm no fit toast girl pass 2 weeks. na craig david style im dey do -

i met this girl on monday . .
took her for a drink on tuesday . .
 we made love by wednesday. .

anything longer than that and

he's walking away. . .

Hi guys,
This our nairaland brother really needed an advise or a clue to his problem, i wonder why on earth Nigerians won't change for the better.
He expected you to give him something he can hold/rely on to make a dramatic change of his situation rather you guys were just disappointing him by not focusing on the topic,  though some nairalanders are very very understanding,  i commend those that are very understanding, those who try to help people that needs it, not those that uses it as weapon.
Please nairalanders try to help guys who are in need,
God bless!!!

ha ha ha, yeah right.

because of yah head and yah d i c k wey be like d same,

i think you have some insecurites that is making you withdraw after trial.

have you ever, really dated a girl? i mean are you still a virgin?

another reason could be that you are scared that they don't really like you, their response is not encouraging you and you are scared of rejection.

you are turned off by words like

1) i have a boyfriend

2) i am not interested

3) why do you ask? please i am not in the mood to talk

4) i don't have time for all these tings you are talking about.

My man, slow and steady wins the race. bring out your time for a woman and don't mind her nagative response (i call them jelly walls) if you try with one and it does not work out learn fronmyour mistake and try another

and for Gods sake stop being scared of commitment, it is one of the best ways you can enjoy life.

You give up being scared when u find the right girl u can't afford missing.

this line always works if u don't know how to toast a girl: "I love you talk your own"

Quote from: Canibus on Today at 01:17:44 PM
Statements like these make you think that some threads are actually traps that have been set up in wait for the usual customers. So one has to tread carefully.

The poster's comment (regarding a 2 week ultimatum) surely bring's him out as a seasoned player even at 23. Some guys will include a budget and vary it according to the girl's percieved worth within a given time frame. It is hard to blame these guys because there is so much love scam going on. On the other hand well intentioned genuine relationships frequently don't go any where because the girl chose to be clever by half.

My guy, I think you are in serious trouble and this is no joke. I however hope you will get someone to whom you feel connected before you are 30 otherwise your life and carrier is screwed.

@poster

You don't have to go about toasting. You may have a serious problem on your hands without knowing it.

Let's go back to the classroom please!  Listen students.

Committment has to do with a solid, healthy, psychological foundation beginning from infancy.  If people have failed you in the past. . . you learn not to have close ties.  It is called habituation.  Unfortunately, there is no cure for this kind of dysfunction.  It has a lot to do with trust or love.   Most people who were not given attention in infancy and early childhood.  . polygamous set ups especially. . . never realize these kinds of goals.  They keep jumping from girlfriend to girlfriend and woman to woman without any satisfaction in the end.

It is recommended. . . by me of course, that new mothers should breast feed their male infants especially for at least 2 years to enable them learn to trust their people in their environment to a certain degree.  They that need more than the female infants as you can see around you.  Men have more dysfunctional relationships than women. Trust in this case meaning the ablity to maintain loving relationships for extended periods of time. . . not with your heart and soul!

_{Na Erikson talk am ooooooooooooooh  No be me!}


@Topic
So, please this is some serious problem. . . please find a way to commit to someone before it is too late.  As you get older, it can only get worse.  One of the dangers of polygamy I say.  Too many children and not enough love! Too many children growing up lost.  This also happens in monogamous homes, don't get me wrong.  But I think this kind of behavioural science. . . .can only explain why a lot of people cannot commit to one person.  They grew up in such environments where there were no clear cut boundaries in relationships.

One father12 mothers,

1 biological father, 2 step fathers

6 half brothers, 1 full sister

4 runaway mothers with 8 different new husbands. . . more step upon step children.

. . . and so on and so forth. . . it is not surprising that one will find it hard to commit to anybody if you have spent the whole of your life trying to figure out who is who.


@poster
Not saying polygamy is your problem, but I feel that is why many children all over the world grow up as dysfunctional adults unable to commit in relationships. Unstable role models in their lives.  When that is not the casedrugs and alcohol or some form of psychosis must be present. Please check which you have and start the desired therapy.

_{Always willing to lend a helping hand to the lost and weary!}