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kech (f)
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I saw this and decided to share with y'all. These are tips I think women should read and learn from.
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Women and rivalry
Unlike men, women see anything that is important as part of them. Again, unlike men, the greatest emotional needs of a woman are the quality and security of her relationship. A woman sees a man she loves as part of herself and a rival as someone who threatens her most precious possession. She fights back to re-establish herself and the emotional bond.
Effects of rivalry
Women in rivalry suffer bitterness and loss of self-esteem. They wonder if they are adequate, as they wonder what the other woman has and they lack. Some actually blame themselves for the situation. Above all, these women lose trust and confidence in their men.
This loss spills over to other future relationships. Trust is the foundation of a relationship. If you lose it, your relationship goes with it. Most multiple relationships, therefore, end in disaster because partners know that each is capable of cheating.
It is also known that men with many girlfriends tend not to respect women. They, therefore, treat the women as they wish. In the end, everybody in a multiple relationship loses part of his good self. In Akan, we say, "Wode w'ani mienu hwe toa mu a, baako bo". (If you look into a bottle with two eyes, one of them could get destroyed.)
What to do in a rivalry
Don't attack your rival physically or verbally. Avoid confrontations or occult intervention. She is not to blame, even if she happens to be your closest friend. She is in because she was allowed in, just like you.
Find quality time to discuss your concerns. If the issue is not properly resolved, you have two options: You can stay and suffer emotionally and physically. Once you accept it, it never gets better.
Your other option is to believe in yourself and move on. Take control over your life because you deserve better. If your lover finds you so special and worthy as he says, he must prove it. Actions speak louder than words. There is nothing better in the world as a lover you can have to yourself and for yourself. You deserve it but be prepared to sacrifice and uphold your dignity for it. You are certainly not a disposable toy. Take back your life and move on.
Love is everywhere. There will never be a lack of lovers unless you have an unrealistic view of love. Research has shown that we can assess potential lovers earlier than we think. Become a good model of womanhood. Keep yourself worthy and respectable. It is only when you get out of the prison of multiple relationship into freedom that true love finds you.
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