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earthrealm (m)
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@hr hotness,
you're getting me wrong,
we humans go tru that phase of wanting 2 be withsome one,
by this i don't mean marriage, as humans we hv needs that cud only be met by another human,
the thing applies 2 both male n females, //am not saying its a female thing
everyone goes tru it, no mattter how hard/strong u think u are,
thats what makes us human
@poster, no need saying it again, ITS A MANS WORLD, thats why society frowns more at the single lady that the single male, hthough in the african culture, both r objects of fun n snide remarks
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HR.hotness (f)
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@hr hotness,
you're getting me wrong,
we humans go tru that phase of wanting 2 be withsome one,
by this i don't mean marriage, as humans we hv needs that cud only be met by another human,
the thing applies 2 both male n females, //am not saying its a female thing
everyone goes tru it, no mattter how hard/strong u think u are,
thats what makes us human
@poster, no need saying it again, ITS A MANS WORLD, thats why society frowns more at the single lady that the single male, hthough in the african culture, both r objects of fun n snide remarks
Fair enough, I agree companionship is important My argument simply is why can't a woman decide to opt out of going d whole nine yards tieing the knot? why should companionship be tied to marriage??? i know many couples who hav stayed on long term relationships without getting married and are happier for it,,, why is that so wrong? its her decision after all |
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earthrealm (m)
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LOL, i know u would soon point out oprah, because she has been in a long term relationship 4 decades without getting married.
well people get married because of values instilled in us, even as e-slam or christianitians stipulates,
guess the idea of choosing n changing partners at will appeals 2 most people, [the divorce rates in america attests to that]
but in the long run, such a practise will result in the disintegration of the family unit, n once that happens, anarchy is going to reign supree, because kids will be raised up without the love/warmth/protection/nurture that a family offers, leading to a spike in social evils, like rape, drive by shootings etc,
@topic, hey anywoman that wants to remain unmarried, go rite ahead its your choice, but better not in africa,,,because the snide remarks.insults r going to be never ending
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HR.hotness (f)
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@ earthrealm Wetin concern me with Oprah,,,, i gav an example earlier,,, if you're raised in a situation where your dad beats your mom, u definitely hav no desire to get married,,, for u happy endings wont seem possible ( u prbly wont understand being a guy)Not everyone is raised with the same values u were raised with (u need to stop generalising) people are brought up in diff situations that shapen their minds and decisions,,, because the snide remarks.insults r going to be never ending whether u like it or not, africans are beginning to see the importance of choice and the environment is more conducive for empowered females but in the long run, such a practise will result in the disintegration of the family unit, n once that happens, anarchy is going to reign supree, because kids will be raised up without the love/warmth/protection/nurture that a family offers, leading to a spike in social evils, like rape, drive by shootings etc i beg to differ,,, I was raised by my single mum and I'm proud of it! plus, without meaning to blow my horn, I have turned out better than many people I know raised in conventional houshold I got more love warmth and protection than most conventional families,,, and sorry to say this, but suggesting that rapists and murderers all stem from a being raised by a single parent is rather ignorant if u ask me,,,, You really shdnt generalise deosnt make u look good |
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earthrealm (m)
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nope, you're getting me wrong again,
i didnt say single parents can't raise kids properly,
the scenario i had in m ind was where a child results from such liasions n none of the parties want 2 take responsibility of the kid, resulting in the kid becoming a street kid, or taken into an orphanage
n a woman deciding 2 be single after being married 4 a while before, aint the same thing as a lady who hasnt married before
yeah yeah, africa is changing, but i don't 4see a lady who decides not to get married being generally accepted in our society,
n before u go again,
sometimes i even hv the urge of not getting married, [seeing some of the stress that marriage brings], guess that is a momentary madness though, nuthin good comes easy, marriage inclusive
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HR.hotness (f)
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Its not about stress of marriage
some people are genuinely traumatised and hav decided early on they wont go down that path,,, the same way some people know they never want children,,, people no longer need to get married for fulfilment,,, and shdnt be placed in a position where they hav to when they don't want to,,,
My stand on this topic is freedom of choice,,, society has no right to force decisions on u,,, ITS UR LIFE AND UR HAPINNESS
Any woman who decides to have a child on her own definitely should take responsibility for the child,,,, my mom decided to hav us on her own when Nigeria still was very unwelcoming to single parents,,,, she made a choice and stuck with it and gav us the best childhood,,, and today many of her friends come to her for advice on problems in their homes and with their children (how ironic)
personally I'm lookin forward to getting married but thats my choice,,,
and thats my point,,, everyone deserves the right to choose,,, f**k what society says
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earthrealm (m)
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yup, your arguements are solid. but what amazes me most is that, at the end of the day.most proponenets of the single lady thingy, end up saying,, I will get married, thats a personal decision, from gamine to hr hotness  so what can we deduce from that? |
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4 Him (m)
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so what can we deduce from that?
that all their "complaints" is simply hot air. |
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HR.hotness (f)
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Now you're getting it all wrong,,,  I'm not arguing that females should be single or not like I've said time and time again,,, My stand is CHOICE!,,, Society has no right to insist women should get married if they don't want to |
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HR.hotness (f)
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that all their "complaints" is simply hot air.
Keep teling yourself that! I intend to get married but only when I'm ready I'm not living my life like my purpose is to get married,,,, marriage just happens to fit into my plans,,, if it didnt then i wont do it,,, simple! Thats Choice! |
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monamie
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ma dear we think in the same direction.if one happens to come accross a responsible guy 4 husband good,if not life continues no big deal.abeg can i have your msn.
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earthrealm (m)
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lol, if its choice, everyone has a choice,
but society/people must always comment on your choice,
its inevitable, enough instances dey alredy.
chk out the gay/lesbianism movement, they r all screaming CHPOICE!!,
even the same sex group, r also screaming choice!!, that society should let them make their own choice.
as per the single lady thingy, havent seen where someone held a gun to a lady;s head telling her to get married, or,
SO it all boils down to criticism from society,,,,,,,,,,,,
and that my dear hr hotness aint going to end.anyways not in our generation or the one 2 come
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acidrop (f)
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@earthrealm. some choices are akward we know. some hurts other people, and some are jst plain stupid, the choice not to get married is non of the above, the choice of theother things u mentions does not appeal to human normality senses
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ariblaze (m)
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ish!!!!!!
topic is soooo
derailed
@post
a single woman has no dilemma
she has a situation she can accept or change
and if she is not expecting babies why should she get maternity leave?
you say a married woman has more respect that one single , duh yeah
but it also applies to the men tooo
to all libral minded women oooo
no bi by force, if you want to be single go ahead
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earthrealm (m)
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lol
@acidrop, naaaaaaaw, i aint fighting for the gay rights or anything of that sort, but even here on nairaland, they exist, n r screaming 4 recognition, saying its their choice 2 be gay,
but we as normal human beings know that gayism is most def wrong!!
even in the animal kingdom, it is rare/uncommon
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albridge (m)
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Seriously, why is the world against the single woman
is it a crime to choose.
Personally i want to be married, have a family and all
but what if i change my mind, why is there so much **** towards the Single Woman.
If i choose my career, designer cloths and shoes, the fact that i want to live in different cities whenever i want to
over having family
what if i want to help children the world over
What if im not just cut out for the married life?
Better to be single than to be divorced.
The only single women people don't seem to have problems with are Nuns. the truth is that you can and should be single if you really want to. no one can stop you from doing what you want. highest they can do is talk and that want kill you if you are determined to be a single woman. the problem though is that i doubt that you can and that you will want to stay single. in my opinion, its not fun to be alone and lonely night after night. coming home each day after work and having no one special to share your days experiences with isn't exactly a fun experience. the reason why you are interested in getting married is not really because of society. the reason is that your subconscious realizes that you have a need that is designed to be met in marriage. |
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Gamine (f)
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As usual
People will hardly get, the prism of Nairaland minds clearly reflected
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kalmebad (f)
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@ Gamine
A good point u drove home, wasn't a wrong observation going by my own view
@ Nwaka
You gave the right answer to the question, marriage is just a thing of choice, one can live happily ever after without been married, the best of happiness does not only lie in marriage, but as you said, our choice dear girl.
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acidrop (f)
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a chick can be single if they want. . . . . its no biggy
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acidrop (f)
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lol
@acidrop, naaaaaaaw, i aint fighting for the gay rights or anything of that sort, but even here on nairaland, they exist, n r screaming 4 recognition, saying its their choice 2 be gay,
but we as normal human beings know that gayism is most def wrong!!
even in the animal kingdom, it is rare/uncommon
u can say that again |
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SAM MILLA (m)
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I sense inconfidence and ugliness in the poster.
I am sure that if a million men are after you, demanding marriage, you will never have come up with a thread like this.
meanwhile my advice is, have confidence and don't believe you are ugly.
Men like us are after people with good heart not look.
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Gamine (f)
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Hey Mr Man!
What you are sensing is what is within you!
How can u say such Fauxvox ne!
I don't need marriage in my life right now.
And fortunately i don't care to be the type of Woman
Men Like You will be after!
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francessby (f)
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if the woman feel that she's financial buoyant to take care of herself and her baby why not because men are another wahala
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