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swoosh (m)
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Hi Nairalanders, I'm counting on your good advices please
I'm dating a girl who my family strongly disapproves of. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) she doesnt know- everyone receives her with warmth but I'm under intense pressure to call off the relationship
I love this girl and i have reasons to believe she loves me too but my family has been told several things about her past and they also diapprove of some behaviors she currently exhibits. I have told them that she's still very young and could change with advice and time (she's 21) and I'm trying 2 make her a changed person so everyone in my family will have reasons to approve of our relationship - I love her so much but wudnt want to marry amidst very stiff opposition from every member of my family
What do I do ?? - I need her to know these things but without hurting the relationship she already has with my family
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frank 3.16 (m)
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while it is important that you harken to the voice of your family, you have to look be4 you leap.
how does she behave?
what is so bad about her past?
you know these answers and ask your self if you can accomodate her if she does not change.
how long have you been dating her? do you think you can cope.
if she is as bad as i think, i believe it will be dangerous for you to go ahead, even after you know about her nagative side.
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lamidebaby (f)
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You're in a tight one dearie, no doubt. Maybe u cld've been more detailed about what exact traits in her rub your family membs off the wrong way. I'm dating a girl who my family strongly disapproves of. my family has been told several things about her past and they also diapprove of some behaviors she currently exhibits. I have told them that she's still very young and could change with advice and time (she's 21) and I'm trying 2 make her a changed person so everyone in my family will have reasons to approve of our relationship - I love her so much but wudnt want to marry amidst very stiff opposition from every member of my family
the words in bold clearly show u agree with your people, only dt u're willing to change her. You cld try n' play the matyr here but sincerely i think it's unwise to build on this shaky foundation. Change her? People do change but most times for the worse. your family seems unanimous in it's decision, (correct me if I'm wrong) therefore be extremely careful not to keep viewing issues with rose-colored lenses of delusion. From the scanty details here, they seem to have a point. You need to clarify things a little more for us to be of any considerable help. |
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NaJa HaJe (f)
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BE A MAN!!!!!!!!
If you really like this girl and you want to start a new family with her . . . . . . you won't be in this predicament. You wont let your family decide your life for you.
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eudio (f)
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why don't they like her?
is it the way she behaves?
wht exactly is she not doing right?
i'm very sure your family members must have told u wht they don't like about her.
if u really love her, then talk to her, i'm sure will will change
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tngtech (m)
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BE A MAN!!!!!!!!
If you really like this girl and you want to start a new family with her . . . . . . you won't be in this predicament. You wont let your family decide your life for you.
u spoke my mind. |
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bawomolo (m)
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can't u stand up to your family and support this girl's case??
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swoosh (m)
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can't u stand up to your family and support this girl's case??
I'm already doing this. I already called 3 of my family members individually and explained to them that we need to give her time and some advice - my oldest brother agrees to my suggestion I'm grateful to everyone for all the replies I have gotten so far - they seem sincere enough. |
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Siena (m)
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@ Swoosh, I'm with Naja on this one.
You don't need to explain ANY of you actions, or decisions to your family.
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kiki (f)
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do not let your family members decide or run your life for you because in da long run u might rgret it let every decision u make about this situation come from u and always remember this is your life watever hapens to it will be on u not your family member be it good or bad u got your life to live and they also got theirs
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blaquie
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mm mm , Marriage is a life time commitment. You have to sit her down and talk to her about her current attitude.Your parents "might" be right but you still have to pray and seek God's face. If you are destined to be it will work out.
Don't go into marriage with the intention of changing your spouse,you will be making a mistake, Do your assignment be for getting into marriage.
Most importantly seek God's face,
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