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Ajebota (f)
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It often follows that once a man and woman are married, babies are expected to start dropping. 1 year passes without kids and family members start using style 2 ask when the baby is coming. 2 years and your mother-in-law demands to know if you are barren. 3 years and people are looking for pastor to deliver you. 4 years, aaaah I wont go there. But honestly what do you think about this tendency in the Nigerian society for family members to be in your business? I don't plan to have kids right away after marriage, maybe wait 2-3 years, tell me will I survive?
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algood (f)
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Sure u will survive it,
so far it is the agreement between you and your husband, just be ready to close your ears to the noise around you concerning the issue and be focused.
The heat will definitely come, especially from your in laws, but jsut be prepared.
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babyx (f)
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@poster
Its your marriage not your parents' nor yourv in-laws'
Waiting a little while longer before bearing kids is for both of you to decide.
Have a good reason , in agreement with your spouse and stick to it come hell or high water.
People get married for different reasons, so why did u get married?, answer the question and stick to it in your heart.
I have a friend who is married but mentioned to me that he would have loved to wait a little longer before having kids, because he wants to enjoy the 100% attention from his wife, !
So pal bottomline what do you want?
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kola oloye (m)
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It is not a must,just a matter of choice.
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Tonim (f)
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lol. Yes, our people are always like that. You and your husband just have to explain to them that you are just taking your time, but I don't think this would keep them from asking.  |
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Ujujoan (f)
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It is not a must,just a matter of choice.
Easier said than done. The society we live in dosent give us much of a choice and thats the fact!! Its not compulsory, but its important. |
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Ajebota (f)
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@poster
Its your marriage not your parents' nor yourv in-laws'
Waiting a little while longer before bearing kids is for both of you to decide.
Have a good reason , in agreement with your spouse and stick to it come hell or high water.
People get married for different reasons, so why did u get married?, answer the question and stick to it in your heart.
I have a friend who is married but mentioned to me that he would have loved to wait a little longer before having kids, because he wants to enjoy the 100% attention from his wife, !
So pal bottomline what do you want?
Yeah would definitely want to enjoy time alone with my husband and settle into married life first. Also finances must be sorted out before babies start coming. Is just that why can't people mind their own business and face their own marriages? And why is it the norm for people to have kids straight after marriage? |
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Ajebota (f)
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Easier said than done. The society we live in dosent give us much of a choice and thats the fact!! Its not compulsory, but its important.
Why do you say it is important? Please explain |
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Ujujoan (f)
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Well, procreation is a divine order form God, Multiply, fill the Earth. The idea is that to procreate, you have to get married so as to avoid fornication. So why should you then get married and decide not to have kids yet. Then why rush into the marriage?? why not wait till you are ready to have kids. You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain.
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kola oloye (m)
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Well, procreation is a divine order form God, Multiply, fill the Earth. The idea is that to procreate, you have to get married so as to avoid fornication. So why should you then get married and decide not to have kids yet. Then why rush into the marriage?? why not wait till you are ready to have kids. You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain.
Have you forgotten that temptation is real? It is better to get married and stay as long as you wish before having children than to be indulging in pre-marital sex. What i will not support is the husband and wife going for abortion when "the unexpected" happens. You might have a very good reason for wanting to wait, but then you are breaking the order, and thats definitely difficult to explain.
What order are you talking about? |
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Spermdrops
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Preferably before. To make sure I don't have to change their names and my name just incase I choose not to get married. Don't have to be married to have kids. Not really related in this day and age! That was old school. Not in vogue anymore. |
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