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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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as long as it's for the good of hunanity sha.
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laudate
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@Fatty27, Did you even re-e-ead my previous posts at all, before jumping the gun? Divorce rates may not be as highly prevalent in those Islamic countries because, in most cases it is NOT the woman that initiates divorce proceedings, it is the man, unlike in the West where either of them can initiate divorce proceedings.  I stated that: "in most cases it is NOT the woman that initiates divorce proceedings, it is the man. . ." Did I say women are not allowed to initiate divorce, like you claimed? I used the phrase, "in most cases. . . " I did not say "in ALL cases. . .," so what is your beef? That phrase has been used by a few other scholars, as well. Doing justice to a woman in a polygamous marriage, also involves ensuring that she gets equal treatment with the other wives. Such equal treatment would encompass the man's method of showing love, among his wives, don't you think so? If the man expresses romantic thoughts, displays affection or shows love to one wife, but not to another wife, would you regard that as showing equal treatment or would you call that "justice", as required by the Qu'aran? |
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babyosisi (f)
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HE DIDN'T SAY POLYGAMY IS PERFECT. HE WAS, I THINK, TRYING TO DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO THE POSITIVE SIDE OF POLYGAMY WHILE NOTING THAT THE SYSTEM WAS NOT WITHOUT PROBLEM. I DON'T KNOW HIS RELIGION AFFILIATION, IT IS OBVIOUS HE IS FAMILIAR WITH ISLAM, HENCE HIS RELUCTANCE IN MAKING SPECIFIC CONCLUSION. HE WAS THREADING THE PATH OF EXTREME CAUTION. IT IS ALSO GLARING THAT HE IS FAMILIAR WITH CHRISTAINITY. I THINK, THAT IS HIS MYSTERY. A SELF ACCLAIMED MONOGAMIST CHAMPIONING POLYGAMY! HE CONDEMNED NEITHER. HE MUST HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR STANDING THAT LOGIC.
PERSONALLY, EVEN THOUGH, I AM ALFA, I ADMIRE HIS COURAGE TO STAND FIRM ON HIS ARGUMENTS WITHOUT CONDEMNING EITHER OF THE TWO. WE SHOULD RATHER ASK HIM TO CLARIFY HIMSELF AS HE MAY HAVE DIFFERENT OPINION.
ON MARRYING, FOUR WIVES: MUSLIMS DON'T INTERPRET QURAN THE WAY CHRISTAINS DO! THEY DON'T DO SELECTIVE READING ON SENSITIVE ISSUES.
PS: READ AL HALAL WAL HARAM FIL ISLAM BY DR YUSUF AL QORADAWI. THERE IS ENGLISH VERSION. CHECK CHAPTER THREE UNDER, MARRIAGE FOR REF.
DOING JUSTICE AMONG WIVES IS NOT THE WAY YOU INTERPRETED IT. I AM AFFRAID, YOU MISSED THE POINT!
", and you will not be able to do justice among (your) wives, however much you may wish to. But DO NOT TURN AWAY ALTOGETHER, (quran 4:139)
quran was specific here. That is why some muslims exercise caution when dealing with polygamy. According to AL QORADAWI, THE EQUAL TREATMENT MENTIONED IN QURAN 4:3, PERTAINS TO THE RIGHTS OF THE WIVES, NOT TO THE LOVE THE HUSBAND FEELS TOWARD THEM, FOR EQUALITY IN THE DIVISION OF LOVE IS BEYOND HUMAN CAPACITY, "
I THEREFORE, CONSIDER, YOUR ARGUMENT AS REGARD EQUALITY, WEAK.
ISLAM ALLOWS POLYGAMY FOR THE GOOD OF HUNANITY. I WOULD BE RELUCTANT IN GOING INTO THIS BECAUSE THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE FORUM FOR THAT.
REGARDING DIVORCE, WHO TOLD YOU WOMEN CANNOT INITIATE DIVORCE? WHY NOT GO THROUGH AL QORADAWI, UNDER DIVORCE SUBSECTION? HAVE READ THE QURAN ON THIS ISSUE? LET ME JUST PUT IT THIS WAY: YOU GOT IT WRONG!
After all your erudite nonsense,ask a woman,muslim or Christian what she'll prefer 1.To share her husband with 3 other women 2.Or to have him to herself I'm sick and tired of you men using religion as a cloak to tell women what is best for them. Even the Koran you claim to know did not make it compulsory for Muslim men to marry multiple wives if not some enlightened muslim countries would not have that to be against the law. Polygamy is good for the man,he gets to sample several different women a week,every man's carnal fantasy. There is nothing in it for the woman. and please leave that humanity crap from it all.
(as the igbo saying goes,it's not today we started seeing Hausa men with bows and arrows)
dump that teaching in the latrine and flush it down
the only humanity it benefits is dangling inbetween your legs |
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soulpatrol (f)
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i hear that one o, my sister. the day it will be legal for women to be able to marry many men, i still dey wait am o. i go sample tire ehn.  |
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spoilt (f)
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the only humanity it benefits is dangling inbetween your legs[/b]
hehehehe |
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sage (m)
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@babyosisi
Hmnnn I thought i had answered this question on another thread
Minus religious and disease restrictions, the natural male instinct is to have sex with as much desirable women as possible. End of story. Self control becomes the countering factor
Women think of sex and commitment going hand in hand. Men are completely different
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babyosisi (f)
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you're right sage,I was talking to the Imam above.
At least you are calling a spade a spade.
I'D rather men said it without fear that they love being with many women and call 4 of them wives to make it look okay rather than tell me "thus says the Koran"
which Koran?
I'm sure not all Muslim men think in such perverted ways.
Helping out humanity indeed.
women are no object of pity.
A woman can function well with or without a husband and it's been proven.
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sage (m)
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Ok
Imagine this
A strange man smoking in the dark alley probably high on alcohol and drugs.
Would any of the ladies immediately pay him to have sex with her and jump on him immediately. Probably not
But thats exactly what Men who number into millions and uncountable millions do each night when they pick up women who are prostitutes. The very strong desire to sow their seeds is a basic instinct of males and that unfortunately expresses itself in different forms.
So it should hardly be a suprise that in a dominant patriachal culture, men should want to have many women (without any sinister aims)
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sage (m)
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so can we have a list made Some argue that its advantageous, others say it is not For and against, Merits and demerits etc  (along sex (Male/female lines) LETS SEE THE PRO AND ANTI POLYGAMY BRIGADES SLUG IT OUT |
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babyosisi (f)
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I was enjoying your post until the last phrase in parenthesis. You need to be cloned and distribued worldwide It is a natural male instinct to be with countless women and even brag on it. That is what men do. they compare sizes and number of conquests and inflate both figures to boost their ego in certain settings. Women on the other hand would decrease the number of men they've been with and swear they were virgins so they won't be seen as loose. I don't kid myself,with my little knowledge of psychology,men and women are different. But a real man can control himself and his urges. there are men who wouldn't go to prostitutes There are men who are faithful to their wives they may still have those urges but they can control themselves. That is the difference between a faithful monogamist and a "faithful polygamist" I prefer the former and would wish same for my friends and supposed foes. though faithful and polygamist don't even go together. |
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mukina2 (f)
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knew babyosisi would be in here, she loves these topics
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spoilt (f)
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the natural male instinct is to have sex with as much desirable women as possible. End of story. Self control becomes the countering factor
Women think of sex and commitment going hand in hand. Men are completely different
excuse me bros but women are born naturally as promiscous as men. we are just tied and constricted by society to fit into certain moulds and to toe certain cultural lines. and er, erm, erm we are not allowed to voice our multiple men fantasies . just so you know. we are forced to bleat constantly about our inherent monogamy! |
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Tanna (f)
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Yes- I am off my sick bed, and I still don't mind a second wife.
I don't think a woman should have a second husband because women aren't intended to RECEIVE from different men. Men, naturally and biologically are made to plant their seeds and dominate whereever.
Also, many men in the bible had wives(S) and still found favor in God's sight.
I am not Muslim, I am Christian, and I have yet to see where this is FORBIDDEN.
Now- of course it would be weird because I am American, and live in america but its much more upright than the SCORES of women who knowingly or secretly tolerate cheating men, and his mistress for years.
All, I am saying is that cheating i wrong - but A second wife is legit.
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spoilt (f)
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I don't think a woman should have a second husband because women aren't intended to RECEIVE from different men. hehehehe. i see you are repeating what was drummed into your head as a child. yawn! yawn! our mothers told us that. and we'll probably tell our daughters that. but honey the body does not lie! |
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debosky (m)
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so what is your body telling you spoilt? that you are meant to receive from different men? just wait till I tell Mr. Spoilt this, no abunna for you for the next 1 week |
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spoilt (f)
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LOL debosky
Ive had to learn self control. i definitely wasnt born with monogamous tendencies. when people bleat about women being naturally monogamous i try to stifle my smile and say nothing. 'mr spoilt' makes monogamy a good deal for me.
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Tanna (f)
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YOu are sooo right. THE BODY DOES NOT LIE.
a woman can only carry one man's baby at a time, but a man can have a limitless number of seeds growing in as many as he can shag. That is proof.
And no darling - respect for my own body is enough to tell me that women shouldn't be sleeping around. My momma didn't need to tell me that - God did.
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olanajim (m)
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What a debate! Women! Condemning men in general as randy simply because of polygamy is a unfair, In their arguments, they ignored the fact that even if given the opportunity it is not realistic for a woman to marry many husbands. Even prostitutes can attest to this. She can only get pregnant for a man at a time. For as long as the situation remains, women can't practice polyandry.
Yes, I agree that polygamy is in the nature of men. No, I totally disagree with the notion that it is due generally to lack of self control. There is no comparison whatsoever between polygamy and prostitution.
Fatty27 want to know my religion affiliation, keep dreaming. I might as well be a pagan. That would not stop me from telling the truth. I must confess, I don't dabble into religion debate. I have my reservation. I will therefore be unwilling to comment on those aspect that deal with muslim, christain. Not that I don't know. Rather, I am wise enough to know that it is useless. Even when muhamed and jesus were alive, they were challenged by ignorants. It is the norm in every age that voice of the oppositions is laudest.
I however, maintain that polygamy is not the evil you are painting. You seem to be interpreting polygamy as official prostitution lacking merit. If you could just allow me to retain my right to abstains from religious sentiment, I would gladly continue. Let the Imaam tackle their faith. I would not comment on religion unless it is absolutely necessary.
Let me tell you however, that so far, oppositions to polygamy is still on sentiment. I am yet to read any credible one that explain why I choose monogamy! I will however draw your attention to something. If indeed polygamy is a product of men insatiable appetite for sex, how do you explain a man marrying a widow that had passed her menopause stage? Or a man with low sex drive marrying at old age? You can't tell me this is not as prevalence as marrying sexy damsels. I stand by my logic!
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spoilt (f)
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And no darling - respect for my own body is enough to tell me that women shouldn't be sleeping around. My momma didn't need to tell me that - God did.
and when men sleep around they don't disrespect their own bodies? What did your God tell you about that?  quit playing . God is not discriminatory. listen to yourself! your arguments should be able to hold for both parties m'dear. because a man can get numerous women pregnant at the same time doesnt mean he should. when polygamy was practised in the days of old it was because there were no men. hundreds of thousands of men went to war and were slaughtered. polygamy was a drastic measure to aid reproduction. now we no longer need it. i do not see men being extinct anymore. |
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olanajim (m)
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The interesting thing about life is that, there would always be opposing sides. You can't say some men sleep about, and conquently conclude that ALL men sleep about! That is what I am always against-generalization with baseless argument. When a crazy guy said there is no good girl in Naija again, everyone know he was wrong in branding all women community as slut to be used and dumb. Why should we then, assume that men can be broadly categorise as lusty, flirty, and driven by sexual misadventures? I tell you with deepest sense of humility that NOT EVERY MAN WHO RUNS A POLYGAMOUS HOME IS WAYWARD. Just as I can not say that EVERY WOMAN WHO ALLOW HER HUSBAND GET A SECOND WIFE IS A FOOL.
There will always be the good and bad. No one can change that. My point remains, unchanged: POLYGAMY HAS IT VIRTURE, AND IN MOST CASES, IT WOULD BENEFICIAL WHEN PROPERLY RUN.
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omoge (f)
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olanajim, since it now has a virture (according to you) we hope you won't have more than one wifey sha, amen. Having one wife is a respectable way of being a man. afterall your wifey does not have another husband besides you.
it's selfish to have one d i cky and two women as wives.
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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Tanna makes me want to projectile vomit on her shoes.
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sage (m)
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@Spoilt I try to be fair to all but i gotta tell you this The sexual drive of a man is quite different from that of a woman and it makes them intune to act differently (when they don't apply self control) I don't see Millions of women in each country streaming out at night to meet a total stranger standing in the dark corner who could be infected with all kinds of diseases and probably high on drugs and alcohol and pay them their hard earned money and immediately drop their undies for the stranger to start using their tongue and their mouth on their genitals ands immediately jump on them. But thats exactly what millions of men in each and most countries do everyday when they go out at night to get a blow job or get sex. I dislike polygamy, but i doubt womens sex drive operate in the same way as that of a man. Femnists say that to argue that men and women are the same on all counts, ignoring hormonal and biological differences which definately put the different sexes in tune to act differently. So No, women don't have the same propensity to promiscuity as a man would have.(I should think) Tanna makes me want to projectile vomit on her shoes.
@ Thief Now my dear why would you want to do that |
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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because she sounds like a brainwashed zombie and I think my vomit would cure her.
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babyosisi (f)
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because she sounds like a brainwashed zombie and I think my vomit would cure her.
Let me assume her previous illness was in her brain if not,the girl has a self esteem lower than lokoja  I wonder which man or even woman taught her that it's ok to allow her husband to sleep with other women besides her (calling the mistress a wife). Did she have a normal childhood?I wonder why the man hasn't taken her up on her generosity or maybe he has,who knows. wonders shall never end. and when men sleep around they don't disrespect their own bodies? What did your God tell you about that? quit playing . God is not discriminatory. listen to yourself! your arguments should be able to hold for both parties m'dear. because a man can get numerous women pregnant at the same time doesnt mean he should. when polygamy was practised in the days of old it was because there were no men. hundreds of thousands of men went to war and were slaughtered. polygamy was a drastic measure to aid reproduction. now we no longer need it. i do not see men being extinct anymore. Maybe she's married to Abraham or Nebuchadnezzar she does have a point unbelievable |
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spoilt (f)
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The sexual drive of a man is quite different from that of a woman and it makes them intune to act differently (when they don't apply self control)
I don't see Millions of women in each country streaming out at night to meet a total stranger standing in the dark corner who could be infected with all kinds of diseases and probably high on drugs and alcohol and pay them their hard earned money and immediately drop their undies for the stranger to start using their tongue and their mouth on their genitals ands immediately jump on them.
But thats exactly what millions of men in each and most countries do everyday when they go out at night to get a blow job or get sex.
I dislike polygamy, but i doubt womens sex drive operate in the same way as that of a man. Femnists say that to argue that men and women are the same on all counts, ignoring hormonal and biological differences which definately put the different sexes in tune to act differently.
So No, women don't have the same propensity to promiscuity as a man would have.(I should think)
the rules of society that govern men and women are different. a woman has to cage such tendencies because even at the slightest offence she can be killed or stoned to death on the spot. that one alone will check you one time! if the rules were the same for men and women sweetheart, men would toe the line too. they can do what they want. afterall arent they the ones who make the rules? wonders shall never end.
Maybe she's married to Abraham or Nebuchadnezzar
unbelievable
hehehehe. seriously, on her sick bed she must have fantasized about how a new wife would look after her kids and cuddle and nurse them!hehehehe. i had to howl in laughter at that picture! look after her kids? please! she has obviously never seen a true life polygamous war front. the new wife would probably snuff life out of her and take over the man. who are we fooling here? no woman marries a man because she wants to lookafter another woman's children and their sick mom. |
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babyosisi (f)
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hehehehe.
seriously, on her sick bed she must have fantasized about how a new wife would look after her kids and cuddle and nurse them!hehehehe. i had to howl in laughter at that picture! look after her kids? please! she has obviously never seen a true life polygamous war front. the new wife would probably snuff life out of her and take over the man. who are we fooling here? no woman marries a man because she wants to lookafter another woman's children and their sick mom.
my dear,even when a first wife is hale and hearty,the second wife is already planning her funeral talk less of when she's a motionless invalid on a bed. That bed will become her death bed,all the other wife needs is a good,sturdy pillow. |
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spoilt (f)
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all the other wife needs is a good,sturdy pillow. babyosisi you no well. one sturdy pillow? you have fertile imagination. anyway the man may help her sef. afterall when you buy new shoes you throw out the old worn out ones! |
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I-man (m)
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@Sage
Isn't the whole point of maturity that a man should be able to excercise self-discipline in sexual matter?That men feel like screwing any desirable woman they see doesn't mean that society should create avenues for men to maintain multiple partners.
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olanajim (m)
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Omoge,
if you are seeking to change my conviction about polygamy; if you are seeking to recruit me to the group that have great aversion to polygamy; if you are, whatever, I maintains, with even stronger conviction that polygamy is better in some circumstances, than monogamy. AND IF I FOUND MYSELF IN SUCH CIRCUMSTANCE, I WOULD NOT HESISTATE TO GO FOR IT. But, I have a set of rules in place to ensure that it succeed against the negative permutation of the cynics, fault-finders and the POLYBAD/MONOGOOD apostles.
I am not greedy though. Maybe, just two! What do you think Omoge? Won't you love the thrill of being our family friend and have a first hand experience of how we do it. How we make it work. Maybe you would gladly recommend your hubby to take a second babe! And if you are still single, I would be extremely happy to pick you as the number two! Since I know you hate rival, I wouldn't get you a 'junior'.
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debosky (m)
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mr one minute man I-man sharrap there, is it because you can't go for long that you want to deny men their right to enjoyment? if a man wants to marry 5 sef, as long as he can handle the responsibility/consequences and the women agree, carry go jare at least for the most part the women agree to be in such relationships, so make them dey share the abunna turn by turn to olanajim, good luck mate, taking a 'second babe' seems like a good way to go for you. as for me, 1 woman's trouble is more than enough to last for two lifetimes, why shorten my life any further? |
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olanajim (m)
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Thanks for the complement. I actually fancy taking on Omoge, Spoilt and those who vehemently oppose men and brand men as promiscuous just because they take a second wife. I think that is the only way I can prove my words. Should they discover that my ideal doesn't work, I will gladly ''sign-out''. I think it would be fun seeing the best of Omoge et al as they 'live the dream'. Maybe they would start singing a new tune thereafter.
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