A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name

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Date: July 26, 2008, 03:45 PM
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ow11 (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #32 on: October 20, 2007, 11:42 AM »

A woman is free to combine if the hubby no pay the slave bride price complete else she must change it. Afterall, during slave trade when your bought, u change your name to your owner's.


Siena (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #33 on: October 20, 2007, 12:10 PM »

I don't see anything wrong with a lady wanting to retain her maiden name when she gets married, or even combine it with her husbands - hyphenated.

My fiancee has a choice when we get married - take my name, retain her maiden name, or hyphenate it with mine, I've no issues whatsoever. I'm secure enough in myself not to lose sleep over it.

mellow (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #34 on: October 20, 2007, 01:08 PM »

Who really gives a hood what a lady answers when she get married? If she like

she can answer Okokobioko for all the girls in the world.
almondjoy (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #35 on: October 20, 2007, 02:05 PM »

Much do about nothing! Smiley
ifyalways (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #36 on: October 21, 2007, 08:05 PM »

maiden name, i get rid of it at the alter boooooo.
am going to embrace my hubbys name .
loving someone to me means loving even the minutest detail about that person,name included. Tongue Tongue Tongue Tongue Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
Etin (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #37 on: October 23, 2007, 12:10 AM »

My maiden name was a double barrel name so it would have been very awkward combining them with my husband's surname. Now I think about it maybe I should have shortened all of them and come up with something different Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin
iice (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #38 on: October 23, 2007, 02:12 AM »

hypenate is the best i can do unless his surname is sexy Grin Tongue
RichyBlacK (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #39 on: October 23, 2007, 09:12 AM »

I think it all depends on the couple. I know a female professor married to another professor (male) and she kept her maiden name. They have a son together and their son's last name is her husband's (of course). The other day she was told me that they sometimes are not treated as couple, especially with airline reservations (seating next to each other), hotel room assignments (conferences, seminars, etc.). And she sometimes has to explain herself in awkward situations. She kept her maiden name because her body of work (academic publications, books, etc.) has been in her maiden name, however, she now intends to change her last name to her husband's.
Seun (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #40 on: October 23, 2007, 09:13 AM »

There should be nothing awkward about combining her maiden name with her name.  It's very very common.

Your friend is making a big mistake if she thinks after many decades she can just go back on her decision.

Changing her name after achieving so much will be more awkward now than it would have been earlier.

Why can't people just stick with their decisions.  Today you go left, tomorrow you go right.
jiddah
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #41 on: October 23, 2007, 11:31 AM »

well its much ado about this name thing,the name thing does not tickle me,i'll probably only bear it in the hospital,cept the name is a very cool one. Cool
Lady-Ti (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #42 on: October 31, 2007, 04:18 PM »

It's all well and good to say it's ok for a woman to retain her maiden name after marriage but if you are a Christian then you need to go and do some studies before jumping on the "bandwagon" of modernism. I used to think it was "cool" to retain or hyphenate until I got the revelation from a teaching. I don’t have the exact scriptural references to hand now but consider these:

the man being the woman’s head and covering. (2 Corinthians)
the man leaves his mother and father to cleave… (Genesis)
the woman came from the man (Genesis)

All these scriptures have a SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE.

When a woman marries a man, whether she likes it or not she takes on the man's “destiny” and “identity” - This is a spiritual law of marriage and it applies to all human beings regardless of faith or culture!!! That’s why you have to make sure he’s going somewhere and/or where you yourself are headed.

Back to the Bible – the woman was created from the man, which suggests that the man is always supposed to be her “source” that is, be responsible for her. Notice that it is the MAN who leaves father and mother to cleave and NOT the woman, suggesting that the woman is always supposed to be under a father’s covering, spiritually, figuratively…etc

So in essence when a woman marries, she “switches” FATHERS. Her husband becomes her “new father” because she is meant to always have a “a father”, that is, “covering”. Hence the need to drop her maiden name and take on her husband’s name to seal the marriage covenant. YES! Famous surname or not!!
You may think it's just a name but keeping the name of a father who is no longer your covering or hyphenating the names of "two fathers" DISTORTS God's order. So be careful!!

I suppose not everyone will agree with this theory, but if you are a Christian, you need to give this some thought.
omoovie (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #43 on: April 03, 2008, 11:48 PM »

Quote from: Lady-Ti on October 31, 2007, 04:18 PM
It's all well and good to say it's ok for a woman to retain her maiden name after marriage but if you are a Christian then you need to go and do some studies before jumping on the "bandwagon" of modernism. I used to think it was "cool" to retain or hyphenate until I got the revelation from a teaching. I don’t have the exact scriptural references to hand now but consider these:

the man being the woman’s head and covering. (2 Corinthians)
the man leaves his mother and father to cleave… (Genesis)
the woman came from the man (Genesis)

All these scriptures have a SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE.

When a woman marries a man, whether she likes it or not she takes on the man's “destiny” and “identity” - This is a spiritual law of marriage and it applies to all human beings regardless of faith or culture!!! That’s why you have to make sure he’s going somewhere and/or where you yourself are headed.

Back to the Bible – the woman was created from the man, which suggests that the man is always supposed to be her “source” that is, be responsible for her. Notice that it is the MAN who leaves father and mother to cleave and NOT the woman, suggesting that the woman is always supposed to be under a father’s covering, spiritually, figuratively…etc

So in essence when a woman marries, she “switches” FATHERS. Her husband becomes her “new father” because she is meant to always have a “a father”, that is, “covering”. Hence the need to drop her maiden name and take on her husband’s name to seal the marriage covenant. YES! Famous surname or not!!
You may think it's just a name but keeping the name of a father who is no longer your covering or hyphenating the names of "two fathers" DISTORTS God's order. So be careful!!

I suppose not everyone will agree with this theory, but if you are a Christian, you need to give this some thought.



O ya oh! The same Bibeli professes that every human should be treated equal. Just as man is the covering for a woman, the woman is the vessel he finds shelter in. I am a firm believer that the work God started in man he perfected and completed in woman. Na people raise me. I feel just dropping my name and assuming another man's name is not equitable. I feel if we are truly joined together as the Bible clearly states then he should be Ok combining "us" Man wants the woman to adopt his name that's fine but I'm yet to meet or hear of a man who will willingly adopt a woman's name or hyphenate his with hers (except that Nigerian boxer/TV personality in Japan that adopted his Japanese wife's last name. The audience is still out on whether he did that for love or so he can disassociate himself from Nigerians). If a husband and wife are truly the joining of two lives, two souls and two bodies into one then two of us should have hyphenated names after we marry. Oya!
lucabrasi (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #44 on: April 05, 2008, 04:12 AM »

some of these names sound realli sexy while some r just wrong
love the woman abiola docemo fernandez sounds cool
allonym
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #45 on: April 09, 2008, 03:35 PM »

My wife can keep hers or combine it. I can understand a need to retain ones name. By the time I'm married, there would be too many achievements and publications tied to my name. To lose that train, when someone does a literature search on your name because they want to find more of your publications and the trail ends at some point because you got married and it changed, that can be damaging to one's career.

Our children though will definitely either have mine or our combination though.
nana (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #46 on: April 09, 2008, 03:39 PM »

I am keeping my maiden name. . .
bluehorizo (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #47 on: April 09, 2008, 03:43 PM »

Quote from: allonym on April 09, 2008, 03:35 PM
My wife can keep hers or combine it. I can understand a need to retain ones name. By the time I'm married, there would be too many achievements and publications tied to my name. To lose that train, when someone does a literature search on your name because they want to find more of your publications and the trail ends at some point because you got married and it changed, that can be damaging to one's career.

Our children though will definitely either have mine or our combination though.


Your post is confusing. Are you the man or the woman? Why do you have to change a name when you get married? Is she not the one who is suppose to bear your name? Do you know what you are talking about?  By the way you wrote,it is very clear that you are the "wife".LOL
allonym
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #48 on: April 10, 2008, 04:37 AM »

Quote from: bluehorizo on April 09, 2008, 03:43 PM
Your post is confusing. Are you the man or the woman? Why do you have to change a name when you get married? Is she not the one who is suppose to bear your name? Do you know what you are talking about?  By the way you wrote,it is very clear that you are the "wife".LOL

I'm not sure what is confusing about my post.

1) I can understand why changing one's name is not desireable.
2) I illustrate reasons why this would be a problem for me. These reasons are gender neutral as far as I can tell. This means it applies just as easily to a man as they do to a woman.

~Lady~ (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #49 on: April 10, 2008, 06:14 AM »

If I were to combine my name to my possible future husband's, the documents won't even allow it. It will be running over. Too long.
echelon (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #50 on: April 10, 2008, 05:08 PM »

My wife has to answer my name. NON-NEGOTIABLE.
almondjoy (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #51 on: April 11, 2008, 09:31 AM »

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV


Marry first, then we can discuss the rest.

Hmm!
echelon (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #52 on: April 11, 2008, 05:08 PM »

You sort some things out first before marrying  Wink
BTT (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #53 on: April 14, 2008, 06:27 PM »

What for. She takes my name. should there be any debate about that? Even if she be Bush Daughter. What has that got to do wit my OWN home, or adulterating my surname? Nairaland sef.
allonym
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #54 on: April 17, 2008, 11:16 PM »

Quote from: BTT on April 14, 2008, 06:27 PM
What for. She takes my name. should there be any debate about that? Even if she be Bush Daughter. What has that got to do wit my OWN home, or adulterating my surname? Nairaland sef.

Given that it will no longer be just YOUR home or surname, I think there could be some debate.
BTT (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #55 on: April 29, 2008, 06:51 PM »

And I say cool.
londoner
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #56 on: April 29, 2008, 09:55 PM »

In todays day and age, any adult can change their name by deed poll, from what I understand. Its better to agree before getting married, but she doesn't actually need permission. She can change her name to minnie mouse if she really wants to.

I see that even in 2008, many Nigerian men see their wives as property.

I will discuss with my fiancee that I would like to have a hyphenated name or failing that our children, especially male can have hyphernated names, sometimes people have reasons for it. Everything is not just simply about the husband in the relationship, sometimes both parties will have to compromise.

I think people who are planning to marry should consider that the marriage consists of the wishes of two people , not just one.
jennykadry (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #57 on: April 30, 2008, 12:28 AM »

im not condeming dose that use both together,but for christ sake you're no longer under your parents,u now live under a man and there is a change in your status,so y not bear your husband's name alone,atleast u have been bearing your fathers name right from when u were brought to this world,so there got to be a change u know
HR.hotness (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #58 on: April 30, 2008, 06:38 AM »

i have a hyphenated name, mum's and my dad's and its hell,
i always have to spell it for people, especially when in a multinational environment, it doesn't fit in standard forms and name tags, everyone calls u by your first name because they can't attempt miss --------------------------------
can't wait to get married so i can dump both names plus who ever i marry has to have a simple name like smith
wendymanda
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #59 on: April 30, 2008, 06:41 AM »

What if I propose and want him to take my name?
londoner
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #60 on: April 30, 2008, 09:50 AM »

Quote from: jennykadry on April 30, 2008, 12:28 AM
im not condeming dose that use both together,but for christ sake you're no longer under your parents,u now live under a man and there is a change in your status,so y not bear your husband's name alone,atleast u have been bearing your fathers name right from when u were brought to this world,so there got to be a change u know


Wow, I find this perspective so frightening, live under a man? Speak for yourself. You don't live under your parents either. Its like women are cattle going from one stable to another.  When you are a child you may live under your parents care, but I would hope most people mature into an adult before marriage, you are forming a partnership, not a parent child relationship all over again.

I don't live under anyone thankyou, I might live with them, never under.
bawomolo (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #61 on: May 01, 2008, 12:55 AM »

Quote from: wendymanda on April 30, 2008, 06:41 AM
What if I propose and want him to take my name?

are u on drugs.
Cadet (f)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #62 on: May 01, 2008, 01:00 AM »

Quote from: bawomolo on May 01, 2008, 12:55 AM
are u on drugs.
Same drug you're on  Shocked


@post
Nothing wrong with it.  Cool
bawomolo (m)
Re: A Woman Combining Her Maiden With Her Husbands Name
« #63 on: May 01, 2008, 01:03 AM »

Quote from: Cadet on May 01, 2008, 01:00 AM
Same drug you're on  Shocked


come on morenike, would u ask your husband to take your name  Sad
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