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Big Shishi (m)
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dakman, u need your own talk sho!  |
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4 Play (m)
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Fall in love?What is that?I don't think love even exists.What we call love is probably a biological reaction that lasts for few years between couples who like each other.
Its no different from anyother biological reaction.
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Seun (m)
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a biological reaction that lasts for few years Some couples know how to reignite this 'biological reaction' over and over again. For them, it seems to last a lifetime! I think young people should take time to study those who are doing fine instead of rushing into failure. |
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4 Play (m)
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Thay can't reignite it after the first cuople of years.They instead relapse into a normal but intimate frienship which is not neccesarily the same thing.
Anyone that tells u that they love their partner as much now as years earlier is telling fibs.It is great myth that has no basis in reality
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2cantango (f)
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Thay can't reignite it after the first cuople of years.They instead relapse into a normal but intimate frienship which is not neccesarily the same thing.
Anyone that tells u that they love their partner as much now as years earlier is telling fibs.It is great myth that has no basis in reality
Can you prove it's just a myth? |
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4 Play (m)
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My point is that love does not exist.I am not supposed to prove the inexistence of anything.Those who assert that something does exist have the sole responsibility to prove it
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j-girl (f)
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Ummmmm, love doesn't exist? What is that thing that keeps a couple together for decades? I know it is not tolerance because after a while, tolerance gets tiring. I think that all those years of anniversaries that people celebrate is a proof that love does exist.
As for the question, i think that generally guys fall in love harder so they try to be cautious. It is also hard for girls to recover from a broken heart, not just guys. Yeah and i agree with the emotional aspect because guys try to put up the hard front but women are supposed to be vulnerable, thereby expressing their feelings more
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silans (m)
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True talk, Love doesnt exist,
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Kurunmi (m)
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Well there is one important factor that is overlooked in this "heart broken once, will not love again issue" for guys and ladies and that is the issue of healing after a heartbreak.
For ladies once heart broken the next guy to fall-in-love-with has to earn your trust, he has to make you feel comfortable enough with him to let your emotions go, as such he helps you to heal the hurt of the initial heart break.
Whereas for a guy since he still has to do the chasing (most of the time) for his next relationship nobody helps him to heal, the new girl does not care what happened to the last and would still play her hard to get game, I mean you don't approach the new girl and pour out the hurt of the past, you try to be your most charming self while still being careful not to let go, guys are emotional too so most time we don't heal instead we hardden up and give less of our emotions and with time it becomes more difficult to start getting emotional.
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Big Shishi (m)
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True kurunmi, when i split with me ex-girl, i actually hated girls , i wanted to teach every girl i came across a lesson, so i became a first class playa, but still i'm not any happier,  and i wonder if i'll ever let myself go when it comes to girls. One of my girls complaied i used to pump her hard, never looked in her face and was never affectionate, i know it myself and fear it will affect me when i get marries |
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j-girl (f)
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No, it's not going to be that bad. You will heal one day and the girl you get married to is going to be the one to help in your healing.
The breaking up thing always end up in someone being hurt, girl or guy - it has almost the same effect of hardening the hearts of the heart broken
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Big Shishi (m)
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this is sumthn different girl, my-ex girl is now in a loving relationship (dumb girl even wants us to be good friends ) BUT I HAVE THIS THING AT THE BACK OF MY MIND OF NOT LETTING A GIRL BECOME TOO CLOSE THAT IT'LL MAKE ME VULNERABLE, I CAN'T BE DEALING WITH EMOTIONS, I'M A MAN!!!  |
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wills (m)
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The reason i think is ,rejection caused by past experiences or just being plain scared of the NO!! word .
But why is it that a lady gives, all what a guy will perceive to be green lights and then when you make your move she either says no! or makes you feel stupid for think she was having emotions towards you,when she was just being a friend, the truth be told this relationship or dating stuff is pretty confusing,
@Shishi get a grip of yourself, ,you becoming a bad case of chauvinism rather then emotional wahala!,Move on get over her and you are human even if you are a guy, theres nothing wrong with emotions, you cry don't you?, well that wooshi feeling of love is just your soul crying ,
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j-girl (f)
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@ Shishi, Yes i know you are a man but you also are a human being with feelings and so is your ex. People make mistakes. What i am saying is that with time, you will let go and you will allow yourself to be vulnerable unconciously - trust me, i know. I have enough heart-broken friends to know that.
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Big Shishi (m)
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i ain't heartbroken now, but it's just that i find it difficult to be that close to girls again, i know im in trouble because i'll have to get married soon
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dakmanzero (m)
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Its like what kurunmi said.
No-one will help the man to heal.
he's supposed to be the strong one, so if he reveals he was hurt before, the girl will lose respect for him. Its like saying "How can I save you when I can't even save myself?"
Big shishi is simply taking the path of least resistance, which I have to confess I have been forced into in the past. If we bury our emotions and do not fall in love, we will actually be more attractive, get laid a lot more. You girls should explain why you always find it easier to sleep with men that obivously do NOT love you!
The day we start to show emotion again, and something happens that reminds us of the terrible experience of heartbreak, well, we rebound.
I, personally, have gotten tired of the run-n-gun lifestyle, as all it has achieved for me is a serious dampening of the urge to have sex (it has become boring). I wish I could fall in love again, but the experience has been horrible. *shrug* perhaps men are *not* supposed to fall in love. I know for sure that I am level-headed enough to ensure that the woman I choose to have my children will feel as if she is loved. Its very easy! :-)
But I can only trust myself to do that effectively when my head is not swimming in the oceans of luuuurve
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j-girl (f)
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Girls sleep with guys that do not love them because a lot of them are hurt by guys. I know a girl who just sleeps around to get back at her ex. Stupid huh? But when the guy actually loves them, just like ShiShi - they don't want to get too close so they run.
Men ARE supposed to fall in love. Love is an emotion which everyone of us has to experience at some point.
@ ShiShi, you are not in trouble yet. Just wait for the pressure put on you by relatives and family, then you'll be in trouble.
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Big Shishi (m)
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i'll be honest , i'll really like to fall in love with the woman i get married to, probably would be the one and only thing that will change my mind on the issue
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j-girl (f)
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That was what i've been trying to tell you since.
Love is a wonderful feeling. In fact, you will thank God that your ex left you because there is always a better person
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ToyM28 (f)
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All men shld stop acting like big sissy's and get on with loving
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Ashiwaju (m)
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Once beaten, 1 million times shy, Experience i believe is the best teacher, for moi, it would only take a stunning lady with an atititude to get me back in love.
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nobody2
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they are hard to fall in but very difficult to handle fall outs.
women find it easy to walk away without much concerns and men will always go down emotionally, physically and otherwise.
the truth is that men never get through with disappointments hence they live their casual lives to live longer.
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lilred (f)
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breakups are not easy for the girls as well as the guys, i think the girls recover faster because they
don't pretend that nothing has happened, girls cry and get it out of their systems in other ways.
guys see crying or talking about how hurt they from a broken relationship as a form of weakness, so they keep things bottled up which is not healthy and hence habour so much hate that they feel they can never love again.
truth is we feel less vunerable when not in a relationship but we have to take some risks in life.
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Nalijah (f)
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Well, to be honest I think it is because of the diffefence between men and women "mentality wise". God didn't create men and women to be a like; therefore, men don't don't have the same emotions as women do. Men, basically feed their sexual physical needs and love comes second, where as a woman will fall in love. Men also knows with love comes "Drama" and most men tend to avoid drama.
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dachosen1 (f)
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Well firstly, man arent the only ones afraid to fall in love, I a female is difintey afraid of "love". I've been with my boo for a long minute now and I really do care for him but it's hard for me to love him. I know i got issues on my part. But it's not only males that are afraid of love. People in general are. And i'm sure that u'll fall in love someday. The same thing 4 myself
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Big Shishi (m)
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dachosen, i feel u girl, i know it's probably not because u don't ove the brother, it's jkust you trying to protect yourself, but if you've been with da brother for a minute, don't you feel you know him well enough to take the plunge and let yourself go fully?
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dachosen1 (f)
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Yea but I know myself and it's not going to happen that easily. I'm a very difficult person to impress. Believe that! You right. It's more of a protection thing
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Ashiwaju (m)
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Well, if you av got the attitude we can always work on the statistics girl Dachosen, i feel u jare but firtly u can say all these perhaps bcus u guys havent gone that intimate and i bet once the guy has it way with you, you ll be the one to proffess yah love for him. Usually when they are no strings attached, we all say i don't love him but i like him, but as soon as. . . God, you go start to confess. |
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but you can't blame us guys, that's what society has instilled and drilled into our minds!!, how would you feel if you found a man crying under his blanket, soaking up his pillow with tissue in one hand and tells you he's crying beacuse his girl broke up with him, 
