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chevy
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Guys, i need your candid advice; just got married in April, and presently living with my husband in his family house, actually we planned getting our own place once we settle down after our wedding because we spent so much during the wedding and we are trying trying to see how we can raise money for accommodation. as God will have it, i was giving car loan at my place of work, which i gladly gave to my husband, so that he can look for a little more money and add to it, so we can get a decent apartment, but guess what, he has spent part of the money and we are back to square one again, sourcing fund for accommodation, the painful part of it, is that this guy thinks am stupid, because if not why would he do a thing like that, am really hurting, because am pregnant and will be due Insha Allah September, he still xpects us to be live with the baby in his family house. people please what will you have me do. i need honest advice from matured souls
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tope2000 (f)
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I think you guys should have sorted out the accommodation thing even before you got married
Did he tell you what he used the money for?
Does he work?
Has he always think you are stupid, if yes why did you marry him?
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~Pandora~ (f)
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i dated a guy like that. . . i ended up having to organise his finances. . . not like i'm very good with money myself  you might need to play a more active role in terms of finances. . . obviously u wont be handing over large chunks of money to him anymore would u?  He might not be happy with u taking care of money issues, keeping a close watch on what he does would prevent any nasty suprises |
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tboy1 (m)
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I don't personally don't think any dude should get married until he's finacially stable. Another thing is that people spend so much money on weddings and they forget bout the marriage itself. . . @ poster From your post i noticed the communcation level between you and your husband is not strong because this is the type of stuff you have to do togetherfrom the first day you gave him the money you both should have had plans about the place you want to stay e.g you should be viewin apartments or talking to estate agentsanyways the only advise i have for you is to talk to him and if he does not listen, report to someone he listens to e.g family member Goodluck |
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jekad
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why would u get married wtout sorting out your accomodation stuff first?
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chevy
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well, he his a doctor, and works with lagos state, he was posted to badagry initially before the wedding, but later on , that was where he got an accommodation(3 bedroom flat) not sing is common sense that the posting was only temporary and he will eventually come back to lagos to stay, now nobody wants to take the accommodation in badagry owing to the fact that is quite expensive, and so there is no way to recover the money the money back, even if we are given back the money, its might just be 1/2 of what we paid initially, so you see the man is acting like some people are jazzing him seriously
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jekad
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if hes a doctor he should learn how to save,except hes no longer working
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tope2000 (f)
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As someone said earlier stop putting him in charge when it comes to finances and if u really think he is been jazzed then i suggest you pray over it. |
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chevy
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do u think i should report to his mummy, he actually begged me yesterday not to, that he his regretting his actions, and that i might give the poor woman a heart attack, please what do u think, am so confused, can tell my own mum, she will be so disappointed, do u think i should still go ahead and report to his mum, am really hurting and its not good for my present condition.
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Frizy (m)
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Tell his dad to buy you a house. I guess their rich. Sorry I didn't finish reading all the post. Now I advise you to tell his dad, don't think silence will help, the marriage is still young so he has to know that he is the bread winner. He can't continue to exploit a poor lady because she loves him. The only condition you should avoid telling any of his family is if he has the money to refund. Soon you may become bankrupt having a liability for husband(sorry to say if that offends you). |
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jekad
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na waooooo if person marry na wahala,if person no marry another wahala because that foolish ololomu go dey curse like mumu
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tope2000 (f)
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do u think i should report to his mummy, he actually begged me yesterday not to, that he his regretting his actions, and that i might give the poor woman a heart attack, please what do u think, am so confused, can tell my own mum, she will be so disappointed, do u think i should still go ahead and report to his mum, am really hurting and its not good for my present condition.
C'mon u guys are newlywed, u are suppose to be enjoying each other. whatever happen btn you to should be settled btn you to. it is 2 early to having third party in your marriage. |
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jekad
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C'mon u guys are newlywed, u are suppose to be enjoying each other. whatever happen btn you to should be settled btn you to. it is 2 early to having third party in your marriage.
that is why marriage should be between two matured minds  |
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nana (f)
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Hmmm. . odikwa serious
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onyinye2 (f)
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Whoa you are already PREGNANT!! got dang!! shoot if i were in your situation, i would not tell him that i have money. i would store it in the bank and keep adding to it.
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tope2000 (f)
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that is why marriage should be between two matured minds  u know the girl is pregnant so maybe her hormones all over the place na |
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jekad
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u know the girl is pregnant so maybe her hormones all over the place na y did she even take in before marriage? |
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tope2000 (f)
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i actually think its the other way around. i think she got married quickly because she was pregnant
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nana (f)
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y did she even take in before marriage?
Different strokes for different folks |
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galatico (m)
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You'll have to sit him down and talk to him and let him see reasons why you must move into your own apartment. No naging please cause no guy wants a nagging woman as a wife. Just try that and see that it would work out. Good Luck.
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jekad
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i actually think its the other way around. i think she got married quickly because she was pregnant
my point naaaaa,she married because she was pregnant,im not sure she would have married d guy if she wasnt pregnant |
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onyinye2 (f)
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y did she even take in before marriage?
took the words right out of my mouth. they should have waited until they were financially able to have a kid. and yal should have planned out where yal were going to live before you spent all your money on your wedding. |
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tope2000 (f)
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my point naaaaa,she married because she was pregnant,im not sure she would have married d guy if she wasnt pregnant
sorry jare, i don't think she would have either |
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michelin89 (f)
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Your husband is simply irresponsible. In your next life look for a man and not a boy!
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Templa (m)
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@poster
do u mean u guys had sex in his family house?
i mean where the hell does this your guy f***
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tRoOE (f)
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I wonder why Nlanders thinks Nland is a place to settle their problems 
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origina9ja (f)
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@poster
do u mean u guys had sex in his family house?
i mean where the hell does this your guy f***
off topic, da poor woman iz chatin bout advice nt dumb questionzz |
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Outstrip
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I cannot even imagine what you are going through. The first mistake you made was spending all the money on the wedding "day" and not thinking about the rest of your lives. You guys have a communication problem otherwise it would have been very clear to your husband what that money would be used for. You either told him and he did not care or you just did not tell him so he did whatever.
This is not the time to fix everything though. You should have done more homework before you married him. You are pregnant, let that be foremost on your mind. Stress can be dangerous for you and the baby and since your doctor of a husband does not seem to knwo that, you will have to do for yourself for a while. After you've had the baby and everything with the new baby has calmed down you will need to set some new ground rules. It is never too late, it's just not a good time for you right now to start a war.
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