My Man Has Been Gone Too Long :

I should have given some insight into my life as you all are  maybe wondering , We'll say my name Memi , I live in the states (US) I'm a student  I was working fulltime until my company filed bankruptcy , So I collect compensation and go to school fulltime , I'm studying law and teaching, I'm a full figured light-skinned girl or I should say woman, Although full figured I'm very sexy, I dress nicely I wear sexy undies, I constantly keep my self groomed and looking nice, When I say full figured not extremely obese but plump, I'm very pleasant and men have a tendency to find me attractive, so do some women ( we'll discuss that later) I'm a nice girl I go to church every Sunday, I sing in the choir, and I attend bible study when I'm not in school. I have a giving nature and try to treat people with respect. I met my current boyfriend as said in my earlier post through my sister, At first I just didn't want to be bothered, He is from the "Motherland" and I found this intriguing as I worked in the airline industry "I won't say which airline" but anyway we met and at first I really didn't like him he was too short " (I like big men because I feel they can handle me in bed). He was and is very smart a dentist by trade and radiologist and he also holds a Ph.D and speaks fluent Japanese , I was very impressed as here in the United States although we have smart black men very few hold doctorate degrees or any degree for that matter, After a little chasing on his part we finally made it to the bedroom nothing what I expected he was very sweet, caring and gentle and certainly proved my myth to be wrong. I'll continue tomorrow stay tuned ,   

Well how is everyone to say the least my man is not back in the States and I have this feeling when I call him 12:00am my time and 6:00am his time he isnt coming back here its just gotten so ridiculous , I think I'm a fool for actually waiting around for him, Here in the States we celebrated 4th of July or Independence Day, we had a smashing party at my eldest sister's house , Of course men were there, I must admit I looked really good last and the men let me know. There was plenty of wine and alcohol plenty of good food I actually had a good time. My family is loving and so generous I've tried taking my man around my family but most times he is stand offish we have all types of people in my family white, Jamican, Trinidian, and I just want him to be the real African I do love him but I'm starting to think were not meant to be,  Meanwhile I'm enjoying my new beau he keeps me laughing he is very sincere and very upfront , I've told him at this pointe I don't know what to do about my boyfriend at this moment I'm confused , I'm glad you people can't respond to this you may call me a slaut or something, But try living six months without affection, campionship, or sex its very difficult. I'm a very sexual person and I love affection although my man wants it constantly he does get affectionate every now and then, My new beau hes always rubbing my back, my arm, my butt. He just rubs me and I love it. When my man first went back to the "Motherland"  I was jealous because I've seen pictures of beautiful African women, and let's face it I'm not African so I don't know how to cook like the African women or be as submissive, I'm African-American and I'm proud of it I'll tell you exactly whats on my mind take it or leave it. Nonetheless I was jealous, this his culture, his people, how am I supposed to compete, Even when he meets African women here in the States, they talk and laugh, I feel like an outsider looking in,  I don't understand the language I've asked him to teach me he won't or just don't have time,   He told me I'm wild in bed that's why he loves me so. He says his ex-wife was to passive in bed, well my pointe is I'm no longer jealous that he's there I think this is a bad sign because a woman is a little jealous when her man is gone , there is saying "Out of sight, out of mind " thats what its coming down too, 

Wellllllllllll my man is not home yet , but a new turn of events have arised my man John has sent me an email stating he will be home this weekend , Now I dare not get to excited I won't until he calls me from the airport to come and get him , I'm  getting wet just thinking of him coming home , the only issue I have is me and Stan , right before John gets home Stan is moving into his new apartment and wants me to help , OMG he licks me so well its driving me crazy I want to leave him alone and get him out of my system.I'm so glad my cell phone is off so he won't be calling me. Which up until now he was calling me 3/4 times a day. He was very diligent in pursuing me. I have a lot of apprehension now that hes returning his money, my money isn't really good right now , I really don't know what to do. I want to settle down and marry John , but his money issues have me worried , I can't go through life worried about bills being paid its scary to me, I need to be with a man that makes me feel safe and that I will have a roof over my head, my lights will be on and food in the house , I need to be ok , Stan he doesn't make a lot of money whereas John has the potential to make a six figure income. Its not about the money, but it is about a man who can hold his own. Stan is determined and works really hard to take care of himself, But John I think he doesn't want to work unless its on his terms. I'm nervous guys and I just can't marry a man who can't take care of me. I'm just so worried , although these posts have been so carnal with me being mischevious please pray things fall into place.