If Nollywood Was A School

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Author Topic: If Nollywood Was A School  (Read 1312 views)
lunafish (f)
If Nollywood Was A School
« on: June 06, 2006, 01:19 PM »

The Ladeeez.

Genevieve Nnaji would be the Queen B; guys would flock to her and girls would hate.

Omotola would be the popular girl who never acknowledges Genevieve; they would treat each other with "courteous detachment" (To Kill a Mockingbird) Guys would love her; girls would hate on her.

Stella Damasus would be the girl who everyone likes because she has that innocent face but you know she has a hidden Agenda.

Whatever student election that involves pretty girls such as Homecoming Queen, Miss (Year Group) and Spring Princess would have split votes between these three.

Rita Dominic would be the girl with a subtle rock edge and the big a*ss hair.

Stephanie Okereke would be the Gemini; the two-faced girl (Just watch Critical Decision)

Kate Henshaw Nuttal would be the smart, pretty girl with the sharp insults for guys (Watch Love, sex and marriage)

Ini Edo would be the girl lifting up her skirt (I've heard things)

Alex Lopez would be the slu*tty girl.

Carol Ekanem would be the girl no guy can have.

Patience Ozokwor would be the overprotective mum who shows up at school in her church clothes to berate any "area boy" who tries it

Ngozi Ezeonu would be "Stifler's mum" always chasing some school boy (Watch Loverboy in Ghana; watch out Ramsey!!)

The fellas.

RMD would be most popular, Homecoming King, all that,

Ramsey Nouah would be the wannabe Keith Sweat. He would have major game and try to mack all the girls (even resorting to begging.)

Jim Iyke would be the bad boy who got girls who were out of his league.

Pat Attah would be the laid back handsome one with a violent edge towards women (I've heard things)

Chidi Mokeme and Emeka Enyiocha would be the quinessential jocks.

Fred Amata who be that guy who, f*uck I don't know- Church boy perhaps?

Segun Arinze would be the guy with the weaponry connections.

That's all I've got folks.
eveseh (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #1 on: June 06, 2006, 03:05 PM »

LOL LOL funny
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #2 on: June 06, 2006, 03:25 PM »

I missed, 

Hanks Anuku would be the guy with the fake american accent - not a stranger to a few random ass kickings.
eveseh (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #3 on: June 06, 2006, 03:51 PM »

LOL u are damn right
hot-angel (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #4 on: June 06, 2006, 03:59 PM »

Ohhh funny funny funny.

I don't even know what to add. I'll be back.
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #5 on: June 06, 2006, 05:53 PM »

More ladeez,

Lilian Bach would be the prissy girl who took everything too seriously. She would be the church girl (Watch Life Partner)

Bimbo Akintola would be the girl with body image issues who didn't realise that her whining was the biggest turn-off to guys; not her look (Watch Keeping faith)

In contrast, Jennifer Eliogu would be the popular, thick girl with the enigmatic personality who guys like.

More fellaz,
Bob Manuel Odukwu would be the relentless, power-hungry guy who ran for every student political position. He would be class president. (Watch Master Stroke)

Alex Usifo would be the belligerent overprotective father who berated the girls who dressed too sexy (Watch Dangerous sisters/Honeymoon Hotel)

Desmond Elliot would be the obsessive and possessive loverboy. Girls would admire him from afar but not date him because of his petty jealousies. (Watch Games Women play/ Behind closed doors)

Michael Ozuruonye would be the guy with the permanent screwface who neededanger management (Watch Critical Decision)

Gbenga Richards would be another area boy with weaponry connections. Segun Arinze would be his partner in crime.

Ernest Obi would be a violent cultist (I've seen too many films to name)
queen2 (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #6 on: June 06, 2006, 06:19 PM »

hmmm hmmm  Cheesy
KD69 (m)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #7 on: June 07, 2006, 01:39 AM »

I joined this site just because of this post. very very funny
eveseh (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #8 on: June 07, 2006, 05:24 AM »

Quote from: KD69 on June 07, 2006, 01:39 AM
I joined this site just because of this post. very very funny


welcome,but u gotta fille many things on ya profile be4 we get to know u good,are u boy girl?man?woman?
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #9 on: June 07, 2006, 08:21 AM »

@ KD69 Thanks- welcome to Nairaland!!!
Eveseh is so rite; fill out your profile and start posting your opinions everywhere.
One.
eveseh (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #10 on: June 07, 2006, 12:01 PM »

Quote from: lunafish on June 07, 2006, 08:21 AM
@ KD69 Thanks- welcome to Nairaland!!!
Eveseh is so rite; fill out your profile and start posting your opinions everywhere.
One.
   am always right Grin Grin Kiss Kiss Kiss
*Shentz* (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #11 on: June 07, 2006, 06:50 PM »

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #12 on: June 08, 2006, 07:08 PM »

No suggestions or arguments?
ddizzle (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #13 on: June 11, 2006, 07:41 PM »

i agree with you well done the funniest was Pat attah yes we heard alotta things huh!! jst kiddin
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #14 on: June 11, 2006, 08:05 PM »

@ ddizzle
I went on your site - very nice job, I hope you get to meet her because you put in that much effort. I'm a Genny fan and I was very pleased. I read an article about Bachelors and Bahelorettes in Nollywood and it said that Empress Njamah (I haven't seen any of  her performances to decide who she would be at Nollywood High) came out an declared that she dated him and he beat her. The same article said that he dated Genny but she didn't make any public statement. Therefore I thought it would be appropriate.

But for future legal wahala:

The original post "If Nollywood Was A School" is fictional and any resemblance to (actual) people is strictly confidential. So don't sue me because I have no money and don't sue Nairaland for being the host to these "coincidental" opinions.

BTW- When will the Infamous Seun reply?
ddizzle (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #15 on: June 12, 2006, 01:51 AM »

Quote from: lunafish on June 11, 2006, 08:05 PM
@ ddizzle
I went on your site - very nice job, I hope you get to meet her because you put in that much effort. I'm a Genny fan and I was very pleased. I read an article about Bachelors and Bahelorettes in Nollywood and it said that Empress Njamah (I haven't seen any of  her performances to decide who she would be at Nollywood High) came out an declared that she dated him and he beat her. The same article said that he dated Genny but she didn't make any public statement. Therefore I thought it would be appropriate.

But for future legal wahala:

The original post "If Nollywood Was A School" is fictional and any resemblance to (actual) people is strictly confidential. So don't sue me because I have no money and don't sue Nairaland for being the host to these "coincidental" opinions.

BTW- When will the Infamous Seun reply?

Thanx for visiting my site i really appreciate it!! Yes i met genny i was really happy we still keep in contact and happy to know her Smiley Yes i used to talk to empress infact i had her number but she never mentioned that infact we wernt that close! but i wnt be suprised but im still shocked at why such a fine man will do that! i think in the school shell be the one who sees the dirty stuff but doesnt say anything until shes forced to!! thanx for posting this i laughed last night as i read it Smiley

take care dd
eveseh (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #16 on: June 12, 2006, 12:43 PM »

jim iyke will be da most stupid boy in school,
he will be riping all da young girls Lips sealed
ddizzle (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #17 on: June 12, 2006, 06:42 PM »

lol yu funny as hell that is hilarious!!
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #18 on: June 13, 2006, 02:13 PM »

@ Eveseh

I don't think that Jim Iyke would be the brightest crayon in the box either. He has played a rapist way too much. The reason why i thought he would get girls out of his league was because I've seen him in films with Genny, Stephanie Okereke, Lilian Bach, Alex Lopez and others who are waaaaaaaay out of his league.

Thinking about it;
Jim Iyke would be the guy who spiked the drinks at parties.
Rhodalyn (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #19 on: June 13, 2006, 02:13 PM »

what do ya mean ''way Out of his league''?? Undecided
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #20 on: June 13, 2006, 02:19 PM »

In the films I've seen, the characters he's gotten with have been out of his league; better than him if you will.
ddizzle (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #21 on: June 13, 2006, 06:30 PM »

lol, i feel u
sweetnini (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #22 on: June 13, 2006, 06:31 PM »

lol
mizkay (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #23 on: June 18, 2006, 08:03 PM »

@lunafish. sista! i couldnt have analyzed these people better than you did gyal. You don strike the hot iron, you hit the nail right on - you get am spot on. Look, when i find a suitable position for my cabinet, i go hire you! you do well. More grease,  Wink
babwilms (m)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #24 on: June 21, 2006, 10:24 PM »

What about Babasuwe, Nkem Owoh, Mr Latin? I honestly don't know where to put them.
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #25 on: June 22, 2006, 09:00 AM »

@ Babwilms

I only know Nkem Okoh out of the three you wrote. I don't know either.
KD69 (m)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #26 on: June 22, 2006, 06:48 PM »

The real deal - If Nollywood were a school, ,

Genevieve would be the girl every other girl wants to poison for being all that and then some. She would be the girl everyboy was saving up to take on a date just to say they scored even when the din't

Omotola would carry a whole lotta poison around

SDA is quiet one who has had every jock but stiil manages to act a virgin

Noah would be the charming womaniser who when push comes to shove couldn't stay on it for more than a minute

Jim Iyke would be the boy every woman just wanted to do, for the heck of it or to know what he is packing.

RMD would be Mr. I am too cool to be in this gaddamn school
ddizzle (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #27 on: June 23, 2006, 12:36 AM »

Funny school, i think lunafish hit it on the head tho, genevieve will be the girl that everybody thinks they know bt they really don't have a clue! Shell be like lunafish said  the chick that everyone hates because they think shes perfect!

shan george will be the one that constantly can't avoid rumours, she just doesnt give a f*** so people hate her for that

regina askia will be the girl who dates all the jocks but always gets dumped!!

just saying what i feel, remember its make believe
lunafish (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #28 on: June 23, 2006, 05:42 AM »

Quote from: ddizzle on June 23, 2006, 12:36 AM
genevieve will be the girl that everybody thinks they know bt they really don't have a clue! Shell be like lunafish the chick that everyone hates because they think shes perfect!

@ ddizzle- What was that about?  Huh I'm not perfect! Never will be, never professed to be. Besides, you don't know what I'm like.
ddizzle (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #29 on: June 23, 2006, 08:19 AM »

sori mistake i was meant to say like lunafish said!!
WesleyanA (f)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #30 on: June 25, 2006, 04:52 AM »

if Nollywood was a school, I'd fake a diploma and apply to be a professor



Oracle (m)
Re: If Nollywood Was A School
« #31 on: July 18, 2006, 03:55 PM »

Quote from: WesleyanA on June 25, 2006, 04:52 AM
if Nollywood was a school, I'd fake a diploma and apply to be a professor
thatz nice wesley but if you get caught you enjoy a royal dismissal
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