Is My Wife The Devil's Agent?

I married my wife and brought her from Nigeria. I had lived here for about 7 years before she came to join me and everytime we have a disagreement, she just screams and shouts. I absolutely hate shouting. She shouts about everything imaginable on earth and my house which had always been quiet is becoming a noisy one as a result of her arrival.

She is not an educated woman so this probably makes it more difficult because she doesn't seem to be able to help herself. Since Sunday there there have been arguments because we went to a party and I danced with one of my work colleagues. She said my colleague must be my girlfriend and we must have been doing things at work. The dance was less than a minute because she was even on her way out and this colleague lives with her boyfriend.
I got back from work yesterday and she started making noise about the same thing so I decided to go out anywhere at all. There was no where for me to go as I don't have many friends here and the one I wanted to go and meet was not at home. I say down in the car and decided to drive to one ex girlfriend's house as I was completely tired after a long day at work.
while in the girl's house we were playing and touching each other and she suddenly shouted that I should leave her home immediately. Thankfully nothing had happened between us so she can't scream rape or anything and her friend was also in the house.
That incident made me think that my wife is an agent of the devil in my life pushing me to do things I should not do. I pledged myself not to be unfaithful but she pushed me and only God knows what could have happened that night.
I am thinking of helping my wife to comlete the process for her to get papers in the country and telling her to go her own way because it's better if I'm single than to be in jail.
What do you guys think?
This is very serious and I am feeling completely depressed at the moment. Once when I tried to tell her family about this they sounded very hostile to me so I decided not to discuss anything with them again.

This is not a one off event. It has been persistent and it's what I hate the most in life and I did not jump into the arms of another woman. I had nowhere else to go and I wanted to get away from her noise.
Its not my intention to ever jump into any other woman's arms. otherwise I would not have married

Thanx. it's true we did not court well enough but I have tried to tell her several times that I can't stand her shouting. a few other people have talked to her about it too. and I can't stay in the house with her shouting. it's just too much for me to stand

wonders shall never end in the cold cold world!!!

I think you are probably more of a devils agent than your wife (apologies as no harm meant).
Yes your wife maybe a bit jealous but have you tried to make her understand western world's culture in relation to harmless dance?
Do you talk to her when she calms down as i find it hard to believe that someone will rant on continously round the clock.

haba tope2000 abi wats your name sef.
good to be more constructive u know

If I may ask what's the level of your education? You've been abroad for seven years, went home and the only lady that is attracted to you and you chose to marry as huge as Nigeria is, is the "uneducated". That speaks volumes about yourself.

Wow! what can i say. Dude you sure are not a perfect man just like everyone else so i wont balme you for what you did or did not do. One thing is i feel your pain. What you felt would be a plus to your simple peaceful life in another man's country is turning to a nightmare enough to push yu into doing what yu sincerely weren't inclined to. With your kind of person i know you want things to turn out right and i think yu should put in effort as much as humanly possible (tap into heaven for ability and grace) to communicate and understand your wife and vice versa, It aint going to be an easy task because yu kind of putting the horse after the cart now but dude, impossible is nothing. Set a time frame in your mind to achieve this, say 6 to 12 months, after this hopefully things will work out for good, but yu must dilligently work at it o, with a lot of patience. I know say d woman no be animal and she sef go wan make things better. And after all that she no budge nko? well her papers go don ready by then and you will sadly have to let her go, so yu can live yur life in peace. Sadly because i am not an advocate for break up of the wonderful institution called marriage. but meeenn guy at times the shit can't but hit the fan. But still try. Best wishes.

My heart goes out to you.

I hope and pray that God's will comes to pass in your marriage

education is not a factor, she can be educated and still nag (have dated someone like that)
it was actually wrong to have gone visiting your ex no matter how angry or confused u were, shes your Ex and there is a tendency to ignite something between u guys just for that moment.
your Ex was probably smart enough to have quickly resisted, if not it might have been a different story.
as Seun rightly said, u guys are just not compartible and u should have noticed that before walking down the altar.
i wont say its too late now.
All you both need is to work on each other and learn to adapt to changes, let her know how u feel whenever she shouts and reacts the way she does. A little compromise here and there and am sure u guys would just be fine
wish ya the best bro.
Cheers

are you for real?

what in the world?


your ex is a white woman? and you just went to her house like that? OMG- you better start praying.

If you don't know anyone who you can send to your ex to ask her to drop the charges, then you have a long journey ahead of you.  And if you contact her at this stage, she can file stalking charges as well, if she hasnt done so already. And sometimes, law enforcement can still refuse to drop the charges even if the spouse asks them to. The case is taken over by the state.

The charges she filed may be for sexual assault. That means you were forcing yourself on her while you were making out.  In your disturbed state that night,you probably ignored or didnt notice her reluctance and antagonism, until she started screaming.


A lot of naija guys have fallen into this kind of trap, and believe me, its not funny. And instead of people warning fellow Nigerians about all these dangers, they'll keep quiet until something happens, then start gossiping, gloating and badmouthing the person. I heard that in a lot of states, Nigerians are profiled in the criminal justice system as being prone to violence. Dont know if this is true or not. And the system capitalizes on that. When you're a black male, you don't need much of an excuse to get in trouble with the law.

If your wife is disturbing you at home, and you can't change whatever behavior it is that annoys her so much, then plz check into a hotel or friend's house until things cool down. In the US, YMCA is always available.



Well, you can wait and see what happens next. But your best bet is probably to get legal counsel. Even if you don't want to hire a lawyer, call one and ask for advice about the case. If you're not a citizen of whatever country you reside in, then that's another potential problem right there.

since you say you've never been in any trouble with the law, then thats one thing you have going for you. But it still doesnt mean they'll let you off lightly.

My best advice to you is to talk to a lawyer, unless there are other options. I don't really know of any.

wow!!!.somehow is in a hot boling peppery soup.
i wish you come out alive and unhurt.

Thanx everyone. I have contacted a lawyer and he said I should not say anything except to confirm personal details for the police tomorrow. I went to her house like that. it's not the first time and when I got there she seemed happy enough to see me and I met her flatmate there who also seemed alright for me to be there.
I am a naturalised British citizen. I don't know the girl's medical history except that she used to smoke a lot of harsh. I believe she still smokes it.
I don't think she will have any evidence that anything happened. I was out of her house as soon as she changed her tone and said I should get out. I only picked up my phone. I did not force myself on her

to tell the truth, its up to you to maintain the peace in your home.

You already said your wife is uneducated, so the shouting shouldnt come as a surprise. Since you're more exposed than she is, then you have to go the extra mile until she adapts to her new environment.

Surely you knew the risks involved in marrying someone from the village?  You implied she only just arrrived recently, so she doesnt know the ropes yet.

And as people pointed out here, your ex girlfirend's house isnt the next place to go after having a fight with your wife. You're undermining yourself that way.

You can rent a hotel room somewhere. What's wrong with staying alone for a while in order to get some rest. You don't need to invite another ex girlfriend to the hotel either.  i don't see how someone can rest if you're busy chasing exes all over the place on account of your wife.

Your wife makes noise, huh? That's not a nice thing to say about one's wife 

What can I say? You married whom you didn't know.