Even Juju Doesn't Work In Nigeria Anymore

justice would have bn done if this thread was posted on jokes. .Oh my, its so funny!

Some of you wanted to know whether this thread is not a joke, it's not, at least to the minds of a large section of naija people. Now the President is involved in chasing juju people in his administration around.

Juju Scam: Yar’Adua Orders Probe of NDDC Boss
By Kinsley Nwezeh, 08.07.2008

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President  Umaru Musa Yar’Adua has ordered an investigation into allegations that the Chairman of the Niger Delta Development  Commission (NDDC), Ambassador Sam  Edem, spent N1billion to secure the services of a sorcerer to employ spiritual means to enable him secure contracts from the Akwa Ibom State Government.
The President also directed the Inspector General of Police, Mike Okiro, and the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to get to the root of the matter.
Edem was also alleged to have burnt N270 million at a Port Harcourt cemetery, which he later bathed with in order to realise his wishes from the state government functionaries.
According to a statement made by the sorcerer, Dr. Perekambowei Ogah, also known as Matthew Sonoma, at the Zone 5 Police Headquarters in Benin, Edo State and published in the latest edition of Newswatch magazine, Edem paid into his executive savings account at the Ughelli, Delta State branch of one of the new generation banks, N15 million to make some sacrifice in order to retain his position as NNDC chairman when the board was dissolved.
Ogah also claimed to have received three different requests from Edem notably to work on the Akwa Ibom State Governor, Dr. Godswill Akpabio, in order to secure contracts from him; to kill the Managing Director of NDDC, Mr. Timi Alaibe, who also works in the same office with him to enable him have his way in decision making processes and to work on Vice-President Goodluck  Jonathan to always provide him support if there is any plan to remove him.
For the above tasks, Ogah charged N570,000,000 for which Edem paid in instalments of N220,000,000, N50,000.000 and N40,000.000 respectively amounting to N310,000.000 with a balance of N260.000.000.
According to the sorcerer, at the expiration of the date for Alaibe’s demise, which never happened, Edem demanded a refund while Ogah stood his ground that the payment was not completed prompting Edem to report the matter to the police as a case of fraud.
“That after the expiration of the period within which the said Timi Alaibe was to die, the petitioner came to ask me why the charm did not work and I told him that his (Alaibe’s) spirit is too strong. On that note he grew annoyed and asked me to refund the money he paid for Timi’s work,” he said.
The NDDC chairman in his statement at the same Zone 5 Police headquarters, Benin, said he was under a spell when he made the payments.
According to him, “The amount of money the fraudster collected from me through the hypnotic spell is about N800million. The extortion spread over months and were always with death threats to my person and family members, friends and staff”.

http://www.thisdayonline.com/nview.php?id=119018

I think Yardua should just creat a ministry of juju affairs.

If the NNDC juju man has the technology to make a man die, why doesn't the Nigerian army recruit him. He could just wipe out a whole civilization for us without loosing a single soldier.

  USA suspicious of Nigeria’s victory


Captain Isaac Promise on Wednesday had a tough time convincing the journalists at the mixed zone that Nigeria’s 2-1 victory over USA was not influenced by juju.

Promise scored the first goal while Obinna Nsofor grabbed the second, after the captain, who was substituted by Osaze Odemwingie, handed him the captain‘s band.

But some of the journalists, mostly from the USA believed that there was something majical about the way the goals were scored.

Promise said, “This is not a magical band and remember it is my third match and I only scored today. We played well and deserved our win.”

Nsofor was also on hand to defend himself. He said, “That is not funny. What is magical about a match we fought so hard to win. Isaac is the captain and I was the closest to him as he was going out and he gave the band to me.

“The goalkeeper (Ambrose Vanzekin) is the vice-captain but he was just too far from him. I am happy I gave the band a good use with my goal. I scored against Japan without any band.”

I dont think the magical in the article means juju.

Sometimes expressions are figurative.  Unless the US reporters were African.

lecture yourself, plz.

The captain assumed they meant juju.

saying something appears magical, doesnt mean I think juju is involved.

Some naija peeps no go kill me with their naija interpretation applied to everything.

Modification of English. The 'juju' is not a new word to the British nor the Americans.

I wonder e no dey work 4 us again!!!
we `re losing it.
not supporting really!!!

wag1 nairalander
let talk bout naijakind1

@niajaking1
over work self
abi u want make i join u put 4 koto

Sista! I no understand-o

Congratulations, my dear. Now you have a secret and powerful weapon to maintain and keep a happy love life, pass all your exams, overcome all your competitions, chose the winning lottery numbers, and even walk on water. Life is good!

Now, you remind me of the 2 boys wey go make juju about guns. On the babalawos instruction, one boy had to try the efficacy of the juju on his brother, using a loaded gun. You know the rest of the story, his brother is dead, and he is facing murder charges for shooting his brother. Want more tory like so?

Juju never existed juh.
All na unexplained illusions.
Witches passing through walls, blah blah blah, na lie

Yeah, you're absolutely right.
If we didn't know the phenomena behind cellphones and videophones, i bet we would have claimed that it is juju. "How can someone in london see/talk to someone in modakeke", chineke mi oo, juju!!!