I Need Your Advice!

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Date: August 30, 2008, 09:01 AM
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Author Topic: I Need Your Advice!  (Read 180 views)
Dime (f)
I Need Your Advice!
« on: July 04, 2008, 03:47 AM »

Please i need your opinion

I met a man that loves me and i feel the same way too. He impregnated me and now i have a beautiful daughter. But he is not here with me. All through my pregnancy he was not here though it wasn't by choice his visa didn't go through. We speak everyday though and we had an introduction which i didn't attend because of the distance and because i couldn't travel due to the fact that i was heavy. Am going to be 23 very soon and i love being a mother and all but i am scared about a lot of things. Will it work out, Will i go back to my old ways which is partying and being out there all the time, in short i wonder if me being good will pay off in the long run. And is it okay for me to still want to look hot like wearing nice shorts or minis and looking sexy sha.

Just advice me please!
TOH (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #1 on: July 04, 2008, 04:01 AM »

wow. long time dime.

Um I know a couple of young moms who still look good. Dont think you have to loook frumpy because you have a kid esp at your age. But you can't go around looking obnoxious either so PERSONALLY I think stuff like booty shorts should be out. After all now you have to be a role model for your daughter,  Plenty of other nice things one can wear that don't have to be overly provocative in my opinion and i don't think you have to stay locked up in a house either but just know how you behave in public now is the thing.
Morenisexy (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #2 on: July 04, 2008, 04:06 AM »

Well, being a mother comes with lots of responsibilities, which does not include booty shorts and partying like a rock star.
I'll think that now that you're a mom, you'll want to get yourself together and and be a good example for your child.
Hell yea, you can still look sexy being a mother, am sure there are other fashion out there you can wear other than booty shorts .

Now as to your man. .if you love him and he really loves you no biggy. . but, there are many circumstances you have to think about.
Will you marry him, and if you do, will he be allowed to come to America?
If so, does he have a certificate and job experience so that he'll be able to get a good job  over here?

No, it's not going to be easy at first, but hey, nothing comes easy. .

and goodluck sha!
Dime (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #3 on: July 04, 2008, 04:16 AM »

i don't own any booty shorts but what about shorts shorts and how come nobody is mentioning the mini skirts?
TOH (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #4 on: July 04, 2008, 04:17 AM »

same difference. To be honest minis look less vulgar on tall and very slim people.
Morenisexy (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #5 on: July 04, 2008, 04:18 AM »

Quote from: Dime on July 04, 2008, 04:16 AM
i don't own any booty shorts but what about shorts shorts and how come nobody is mentioning the mini skirts?
Mini skirts, I dnt know o. . since I dnt wear mini skirt at all, I can't advice you on that.
booty shorts, shorts, mini shorts, to me, they're all in same category  Tongue

Over to ThiefOfHeart . .
Dime (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #6 on: July 04, 2008, 04:20 AM »

lol, 

toh missed ya sha how far, how body?
TOH (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #7 on: July 04, 2008, 04:24 AM »

I dey jare. How are you? You had pikin and you didnt bother to tell Nairaland. o ga o.

when are you going to go to Nigeria?
Dime (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #8 on: July 04, 2008, 04:37 AM »

in december.

But am going to england this mnth

u?
Dime (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #9 on: July 04, 2008, 04:40 AM »

i apologize to nairaland have been busy that is why
Tonim (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #10 on: July 04, 2008, 05:26 AM »

Quote from: Dime on July 04, 2008, 03:47 AM
Please i need your opinion

I met a man that loves me and i feel the same way too. He impregnated me and now i have a beautiful daughter. But he is not here with me. All through my pregnancy he was not here though it wasn't by choice his visa didn't go through. We speak everyday though and we had an introduction which i didn't attend because of the distance and because i couldn't travel due to the fact that i was heavy.

Am going to be 23 very soon and i love being a mother and all but i am scared about a lot of things. Will it work out, Will i go back to my old ways which is partying and being out there all the time, in short i wonder if me being good will pay off in the long run. And is it okay for me to still want to look hot like wearing nice shorts or minis and looking sexy sha.

Just advice me please!

Hi Dime,

Please don't be scared. All would be well with you in the name of Jesus.

Let me try and weigh in on your situation.

1. Now that you are a mother, there is definitely going to be some change in how you dress and generally carry yourself. Like someone
else has mentioned, you are now a role model to your daughter and would need to act as such.

You have to make your best judgment as to what constitutes classy and not trashy. As women, we should all look sexy, beautiful
and decent; I don't subscribe to those that believe that a mother or wife should be overly conservative in her dressing.   

Take a look around mothers that you know and say to yourself: I would like to dress like that OR No, that is way too trashy for me.

Eventually, you'll have to decide what style of dressing best suits you.

But I want you to remember this, the way you dress should reflect (at least to some degree) that you are now a mother. How you
want to interpret this is totally up to you.

2. You are going to need the support of your daughter's father. Your daughter needs to have her father in her life both emotionally and
from a  financial stand point. If the two of you really love each other, then you should consider tying the knot and having your own family.

3. Both you and your baby's father need to have stable careers in order to raise this child. I don't know how far you (& your baby's dad)
went as far as your education, but you have to get this issue resolved as quickly as possible.

4. Finally, there is no doubt that the absence of your baby's dad is a big chunk of the reasons for you being scared. His presence would
be more assuring; at least he could be supporting you emotionally and stuff.

Is the guy educated ? Does he have a good head on his shoulder ? Would he make a good father/husband ? Perhaps you could
have someone back home keep an eye out on him.

If indeed he is a good and worthy fellow, then you should consider tying the knot and you guys should have your own family
in Canada. God bless.
francessby (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #11 on: July 04, 2008, 03:11 PM »

You have to choose between the old and new life then make your choice, so that you will not look for who to blame
Dime (f)
Re: I Need Your Advice!
« #12 on: July 12, 2008, 09:59 PM »

yes and i have but sometimes just sometimes i get the urge to put on my old clothes and feel sexy again not that am not sexy but you know extra sexy.
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