|
Princess (f)
|
Some days i feel like life is not too much without getting love from fathers, but many of us can relate to situation like this. Deep inside i feel hurt eventhough i am mad at him but i know that i need love, lots of love from a father. My heart cries everytime i see people or kids my age with their dads having so much fun, i wish that was me. I guess some people just aren't ment to have what others have. Before i sleep i pray to God to give me that love of a father i wanted all my life for about 3yrs now but i guess i am not that lucky. Eventhough its hurt me a lot not having good relationship with him i still wish that he will come and love me just as a father suppose to love his kid. This i what i pray to God for...:
Lord have mercy upon my father,
i am pretty sure he doesn't mean to hurt me
give him the heart to love me
forgive him and make him a new person again
I want him to show me love
Deep inside he has killed my spirit to love men
he made me think that all men are like that
God eventhough he hurt me I have forgiven him
all am asking u to do is to help him realize that u are God
and surrended himself to you. Thank You Lord Amen.
I know there many out there that can relate to me but all am asking y'all to do for me is to help me pray for my father. Help me pray for God to forgive him. I need a fatherly love, i want a fatherly love. I will be happy again if there is peace between me and him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
the most strongest woman on earth is my mother. She is strong beyound words can even be describe. Life has treated her unfairly but she still hold on. Eventhough she is sick she still look strong, i just wish i could transfer all her pains and sickness to me. Its kills me to see her in pain. My heart cries when i see her in pains i wonder sometime if God really sees her. I would do anything for God if he grant my mothe eternal healing, i really don't feel happy because my mother is sick. Before i sleep i pray to God to help her she has suffer a lot before now is the time for her to enjoy not for arthrities to hold her down. If u are so kind out there help me pray for my mother please. I am really sick inside seeing her in pain makes me sometimes wants to give up, but i know that God is not sleeping he sees all what is going on.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
 |
Re: Why?
« #2 on: August 30, 2005, 01:51 AM » |
|
Everyday i ask myself why because this world is full of so much hurt that i can't handle. I turn to the north, east, west and south for answers none had something for me. Sometime i get so mad that what goes through my mind to do is so terrible that i feel little inscure about myself. Sometimes people make me so angry that i want to cut them off. Why do i have to suffer from anger this much i guess its part of what my hurt led to, why can't i be happy without something crossing my mind and taking my happiness away, why do i have to face the world with so much on my mind. Am telling you its hard to let go of the past and partly the present i am trying dough, but i gotta what hard on it. I will pray about it and see if God still loves me maybe then he can grant me my heart desire.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
Everyday i must say O' life because everyday i get mad at life, thinking about all i have to do, all i have been through makes me be more angry about life. Some were born with greatness, and some with life as in u have to suffer inorder to get what u want. I am a girl of pride sometimes i have to put my pride aside just so that i can get what i want which is not good. Sometimes i let people step on my dignity just so i can get what i want. Now from this day forward i will never allow such things to happen i will rather die just to let me keep my pride and dignity. I will take such thing no more i am a whole new black mad woman. I don't care about love, what's love got to do with it anyway? Diary u are like my special friend that i open to, u know i can't tell people what going through my mind because they will convince me that am wrong and i know that i am right. I believe that i am right and i will hold on to that no matter what.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
Dear diary my mind is so full, its feels like i am caring a heavy bunddle. Who or how can i start sharing that. This is about me now i want something to happen and i want it to happen fast, i wish life was not too complicated, i wish i have everything i want in a split second, i wish i don't have to worry about my future all the prediction someone that think that he is God has cast upon me, Let me rephrase that i don't care what people predict about me because i don't care what people think they are just like bug flying around but am sure that one of these days i will put an end to that. I am tired of letting people that hurt me get away with it, I am tired of saying O' life. I have to be brave and strong and retaliate to all those looking for my actions. I want the world to know that i am not scare of no human created by God if u want to step on my shoes, then bring it on Baby i am ready. Now this is one on one what's u got?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
Gosh i hate life, I wish i was never sent to this world, I am so pissed right now, boy do i feel like slapping somebody, i hate to hate but its something i can't help to do. Everytime i tell myself that i will overlook one hate then another hate from nowhere intervene. God why, why do my heart have to go through so much pressure for the day. I want something O' God and i know u know what i want, i just wish i have it now! When i breath i feel the heavy load is my heart, man am i mad, this freaking life stink, people r stepping on my freakin' toes, u know that maybe i should change from being nice to being extremely mean maybe then i might feel a little better. I don't care what i have to deal with next, but for complete 1 month i will not smile to anyone. Well i have to be nice to the people at my job so an exception to them. My hate can cause disaster pretty soon.......... Life r u ready for the new me,? well then here i come get ready..........
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
I have sinned against u o' lord, i have said stuff that i was not suppose to say, i have done stuff that i am not suppose to do, have mercy upon me. I know that i should not be fightning my battle i should let u do it for me, i apologise O' Lord, i am a worthless, wretched sinner infront of u O' Lord have mercy, change me for the better O' Lord, rearrange my life O' Lord, guide my footsteps O' Lord, bless me with unconditional love O' Lord, watch over me please Jesus, You are my all in all. This i ask O' lord in Jesus precious name amen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
Dear God i pray to thee today as a girl who is in desprate needs of your help, i pray O' Lord that you will teach me how to love, i have no love in my heart will u almighty God teach me to love, i bow my knees before your throne i know my life is not my own, i offer songs of praises to you Lord, u bring me happiness Lord of Lords. My life is in your hands dear God help me to be a better person, i am a very sweet girl i just need little help to remind me of that and i know that u O' Lord is going to change me for the better. What will i do without u O' Lord? nothing! You are the great i am as i am i love u so much and i know that from this day onward u will change me for the better. Thank you lord in Jesus name amen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
Dear diary...........
what's up? not a day goes by me not thinking about u, i love u, and sometimes i miss u i have a lot to tell u but i don't know how to start don't worry i go figure aiight boo. Bye.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
Dear Diary i done heard it all stuff like: you will never graduate from high school, which i already did, you will not have anyone out there to give u water to drink, u will not make it in life, u will be alone for the rest of your life, the funny thing is that us human being think that we are God so therefore we should say whatever thinking that they hold the keys to our life well let me suprise u, u don't, i only believe in God and not humans, so whatever people have to say let them say its its doesn't border me at all, i know that i am in control here this is my life i treat it anyhow i feel as long as its honesty i will i promise. May i let u know that i have heard a lot of nasty terrible things that people tells me but guess what i don't care no more what they say i am the un touchable child, i spirit is so strong that i have an everlasting confident in my self. I just thought i let u know. Bye diary love u more....................    |
|
|
|
|
|
Princess (f)
|
|
My Life
« #10 on: September 24, 2005, 11:34 PM » |
|
My Life...........................
diary i am about to take a huge step in life that i want to take and that i look forward to take, i know that God is watching over me, i love myself, i am the greatest child with strong mind i rcok don't hates me freaks of mothet nature or else am going to have to slap your mama damn it u fool, back off what the hell u staring at u want a piece of this highly doubt that, bye freaks of nature. I halla.
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
