My Book Of Rants! - Nairaland

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Topic: My Book Of Rants! (Read 16739 views)

ariblaze (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1184 on: April 22, 2009, 06:57 AM »

The European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

1. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters kan have one less letter.

2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

3. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they would go.

4. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

5. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas,

Sisi Jinx

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1185 on: April 22, 2009, 07:00 AM »

Tee hee hee

ariblaze (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1186 on: April 22, 2009, 07:33 AM »

madam you dont come into my thread and laugh it isnt allowed

bluespice (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1187 on: April 22, 2009, 07:44 AM »

bwuahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Grin

ariblaze (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1188 on: April 22, 2009, 08:02 AM »

you just had to do it dint you?

the massacre of the twins

their they stand

naughty twins,blu and jinx

silly twins,pesty twins. . .two peas in one pod

drag one by the foot

the other by the hair

take them to a very dark alley

tied them up by a pole, poured jello and rice crumbs on them

gag them mouths so loud screams wont be heard

more ingredients are needed, . . . . . .blindfold them

pour more jello,lean under one of the ducts. .

listening. . . . . . .yeah i can hear them

i sense them they can smell the food. . .

i grab, reach stretch yeah got one burly

with wicked sized teeth. . .this should do for the mo

, pour more jello el rice crumbs on the erring twins

the big smelly rat i drop in one of their blouse(leave you to figure which)

i walk away. . . .

muffled screams,make me feel high. . .tiny patters of rats racing towards

their victims i hear. . . .

i have erased them twins. . .

good riddance i say

bluespice (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1189 on: April 22, 2009, 08:14 AM »

oh no he didnt!!

dusting off the eons of accumulated dust,
cracking age fused joints,

the naive son of the day has woken the age long queen
in his naivette he spilled centuries old secrets,
in his youth he brashly trampled on laid down rules
now he has brazenly awoken her but with nothing to appease the rude infiltration

ahhh the sweet naivette of youth
the blood coursing through his veins like a heady perfume to her nostrils

the sweet bliss of his innocence has become his undoing
for in his awakening of the queen,
he has unleashed her terror on all,
the sacrificial lamb he now will be,
the first drink to refresh her system he has become.

so what its cheesily vampiric in nature?
im a child of the dark anyway Angry

blaze u asked for it!

ariblaze (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1190 on: April 22, 2009, 08:19 AM »

alo, story, itan

all that one na english

he don wake the wicked queen

he don wake the daughter of the dark(abeg una no get nepa for una end?)

say he wan drink blood, vampire no be zobo we dey talk here ooo

sorry there is trivial ,terror and sheer terror

you madam are noting but trivial

i bring sheer terror making parents hold unto their children whilst praying to their gods

make even the hardest soldiers drop their rifles and cower in fear

everything bows eventually under the force of fire

and i am the blaze man, you and your twin's situation with me can best be surmised in yoruba

eti po to Grin

bluespice (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1191 on: April 22, 2009, 08:31 AM »

as is customary of those with royal blood,
i will not be seen frollicking with the scum of the society!
i refuse to see or hear your post!

did anyone say something?

didnt think so

ariblaze (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1192 on: April 22, 2009, 08:35 AM »

SCUM of the society?

me?

ok. . . . .

but it would be real nice when you eventually decide

to wake up from that dream of yours

and stop being delusional

bluespice (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1193 on: April 22, 2009, 08:38 AM »

dredge of beer?
better? Tongue

its all lurv Kiss

MojiEsther (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1194 on: April 22, 2009, 12:54 PM »

Oh airblaze, don't be such a bad influence,
Thanx Sisi Jinx
and eh, easy Epi, You have to figure a way out.

kay9 (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1195 on: April 22, 2009, 03:32 PM »

hi folks

aint got a rant tho, just signing the Rant register - been absent for a while.

hey blaze, tell the crazy bitch to go fcuk herself - life is too short to be wasted on humorless, stuck-up, un-chykable chics - u can tell her i said so. No, vait, yu kan tel her i said so. Zat's vat i vuld hav don myself Wink

epi, can it. The guy is a dickhead, granted, but i'm sure u can do a lot more than scream at yo screen. Why not buy a real gun and waste the ass-wipe? The way u paint him, he sure deserves it.

hi V. Grin

Aint got shit on u, man, none at all.

hey blue, Sisi, Moji, sino (piss on the exams, man!) - wherever the hell is Chamo, the homeboy?

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1196 on: April 22, 2009, 08:56 PM »

Blue. I'm actually very sorry. Honest.

@House. I've metamorphosised. I'm high on natural morphine. I'm a changed dude. I daresay for the better. I'm now going to take on the role of sage. An utterly annoying smug holier-than-thou sage. Hopefully that will anchor you crazy people's penchant for commotion and blur. As for me, I've embraced the zen. My tides have calmed. I'm at peace and my hitherto very little ranting juices are depleted. :-( :-(

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1197 on: April 22, 2009, 09:05 PM »

To kick off my new found (usurped) position as pagemaster. I'm gonna offer advice to you poor disturbed souls

@Blaze. Go get hitched and stop riding like the lunatic hell's angel that you are not.

@Kay. You need to wash out your mouth with soap. Or maybe industrial detergent.

@Epi. You either commit murder or change your number. I recommend the latter (works like a charm) but the former isn't out of the question.

@The twins. Go to my room

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1198 on: April 22, 2009, 09:15 PM »

I hope everybody who's received my sanctimonious berating speech is really pissed and in the mood to let roll my head.

@Moji, I didn't overlook you. It's only you haven't got the rabid virus that infects everyone who ventures here, yet.

Claimer: Mr. Ariblaze secretely pays me to offer this service.

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1199 on: April 22, 2009, 09:21 PM »

I hope everybody who's received my sanctimonious berating speech is really pissed and in the mood to let roll my head.

@Moji and Sino. I didn't overlook you. It's only you haven't got the rabid virus that infects everyone who dares to venture here, yet.

Claimer: Mr. Ariblaze secretely pays me to offer this service.

kay9 (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1200 on: April 23, 2009, 04:03 AM »

Shut up, V.

Epi

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1201 on: April 23, 2009, 04:31 AM »

Quote from: vescucci on April 22, 2009, 09:05 PM

@Epi. You either commit murder or change your number. I recommend the latter (works like a charm) but the former isn't out of the question.

Quote from: kay9 on April 22, 2009, 03:32 PM

epi, can it. The guy is a dickhead, granted, but i'm sure u can do a lot more than scream at yo screen. Why not buy a real gun and waste the ass-wipe? The way u paint him, he sure deserves it.

Quote from: MojiEsther on April 22, 2009, 12:54 PM

and eh, easy Epi, You have to figure a way out.

Quote from: sissy jinx

.@ Epi
They usually ARE that dense

I AM OUT OF BULLETS. Can't y'all collectively shoot the bastard? Who's in?

Tgirl4real (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1202 on: April 23, 2009, 04:37 AM »

@ Ari,

Teehehe. . . dat sounds more like German. Lol. Concerning your previous rant, I suggest otherwise. Cut me. Haba! What happend to d blaze man. Grab d girl, tie her up, dump her in your car and straight to ya crib. Get a cheap priest to pronounce u man and wife. Gbam! The deed is done. Abi? Force a 3month honeymoon on her. By d tym she gets back she's ready to deliver 3 bouncing green creatures like u. Hehehe.

@Mojiesther,
Happy belated bday.

@ Bluespice, dont mind them jare. Out of sight is out of mind, they say. See has Kay9 ommitted my name in his 'register'. Quite unusual, init?

Tgirl4real (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1203 on: April 23, 2009, 04:40 AM »

@ epi,

Collectively shoot d bastard? Was d bastard calling us collectively? U beta be a brave ass and go teach d *. . .* a lesson.

kay9 (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1204 on: April 23, 2009, 04:53 AM »

Rewriting the register. . . rewriting the register:

hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, hi Tg, mmmmmh.

Everybody happy?

Seriously tho, hi Tg, you know yo spot is assured. Wink

bluespice (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1205 on: April 23, 2009, 08:43 AM »

oh epi im in!!!! Grin

lets all storm his house collectively and teach him some good 'ol lessons
goddammit! some of these buggers are really dumb u know . . . .

now to vesc,
on your being sorry, i say can it!
if u were as sorry as u claimed u wouldnt have easily let my name depart from your registar,
that my twin n i have aged so much in wisdom that we choose to sit back and watch the fruit of our hands unleash terror on the world
is no damn excuse for you to ignore our all important role
so i say can it!
when your ready to apologise u best do it good! Angry

Kay!
im not going to waste my time lecturing u on the way things are done in this world
cos u my friend have never been and never will be a part of this world
that said, as a middle-aged son of the twins, ill let your brashness and lack of respect for the mothers be blamed on the age
dont get it twisted u will pay and your payment is going to be in terms u have no idea of,
patience, love,decorum,
i hope u get where im going now. . . .
i need a report every other day on your progress
and by gawd! should u fail Angry

Moji,
welcome to my world yes MY world,
they wouldnt tell you but im yourr Cleopatra of Egypt,
your Isabella of Castile,
yor Rania of Jordan
if a man is disturbing you i say off with hs head!
a woman, i say systematically feed her body parts to her to live on!
women are such a bore honestly
same predictabe mess they make every damn time!
someone should tell em to shut their pie-holes once in a while
this is where you come in moji Wink

that said happy belated birthday
and by gawd! i need my cake on my table first thing tomorrow morning!

tgirl!
u are def my second fav on this thread now
always waited for the day tgirl would loos her boring head of cool and join the bandwagon n she did! Cheesy

finally

pls keep this head its definitely more fun

vesc im back to u
what would u require we do in your room?
after cleaning it out,
making the bed,
running the bath with scented oils,
vaccuming the rug and the curtains,
what else do you require my lord?

blaze,
i have nothing to say to you i just need to mention your name
since im mentioning err one's name

sino nothing either
get bitten my the crazy bug soon enough or ill bite u personally
that said, good luck in your exams

twinie Kiss

i ve resolved this pesky business of running these people
now to go back to the watching mode we so dearly love,
what do u say? Cheesy

_{ps, im always appearing offline so ulld have to either show urself, or alert me whenever your online
if your also guilty of this same sinful indulgence}

kay9 (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1206 on: April 23, 2009, 09:34 AM »

Actually, it's the Rantster's world. Huh

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1207 on: April 23, 2009, 11:08 AM »

Blue. Blue. Blue. How many times did I call you? Thank God you're not one of those freaks of nature who actually have the notion that women are actually people. Good good. About the business of what else I require, you both just sit on your asses and await my arrival. A simple enough plan, no? Especially since you're not harboring that godless notion. And, uh, register smudgister. I'm canning my apologies and sending them to d bottom of the ocean

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1208 on: April 23, 2009, 11:18 AM »

That unwholesome distraction taken care of I can now resume my place as sage. What troubled souls fill this place. It's disheartening. Blue's noble cause of changing Kay is as futile as changing the sun's course. Things like love, patience & especially decorum are foreign and alien to him. Immiscible. No emulsifier

Kay. Stop suckin up. E no fit you. How many Tgs does it take to get attention?

The rest of you crazy people. Aluta continuantinua

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1209 on: April 23, 2009, 11:55 AM »

I read somewhere that most of you crazy people think anyone going faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower is dumb. It's funny how everyone thinks their brain is superior. Wouldn't exchange it for Descartes'. Everyone thinks they're smart. Figures. The really smart ones should know and the dumb ones wouldn't be dumb enough if they knew they were dumb. I have a connection with people with autism cuz they're smart and don't even think so.

vescucci (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1210 on: April 23, 2009, 12:05 PM »

Tis nice to know you've become sober enough to type your addy with visible ink at last, Kay. Check my profile, check my profile. Imp

Mr. Ariblaze. You're still in that your hole? I've been looking for trouble since & no one will give me. We're not counting the lame attempts by Kay & Blue Dracula. You know I'm in the know that you're uglier than Frankestein with bad hair-do. Hopefully my last high-falutin sentence will bring out Kay's animality

kay9 (m)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1211 on: April 23, 2009, 01:37 PM »

hi V, u are drunk. One alcoholic to another: go sober up. I'm in a bad enof mood today; dont make it any worse - very, very ugly things will happen to the person who does that.

Sisi Jinx

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1212 on: April 23, 2009, 09:06 PM »

Tee hee hee!! Cheesy

@ Cleopatra aka Nefertiti aka Ankhesenamen aka. . . The Warrior Princess
Gotcha and yes I do the same Cheesy

Tgirl4real (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1213 on: April 24, 2009, 02:25 AM »

Blue, u enjoyed dat, huh? Hehehe

@ Kay, who is vexing u? I ran here immediately I heard u scream Tg. Actually, one Tgirl suffices instead of u screaming a 100 Tg. Thanx anyway, I got the hello. Lol

@ Vesc, I think u made a mistake typing dat your siggy. Check it again.

princesa (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1214 on: April 25, 2009, 02:28 PM »

*swings in*

no matter how far i go
i keep coming back for more
i really need to see the threatening tide
of nerves overdue and ready to blow

well a liitle deviation from the norm they take
but still worth the name and lives it to its taste
Ranting Ranting! how far i have i been from you
wondering in the foot stepping sphere of outside blue
and not loggin unto this sphere to let them out in bloody chew

i cant belive this aint in rhymes or crude
hmm . . . . well sometimes you opt for a free verse
or run the conscious stream get a re-step

well thats all i can do

*swings out* Cool

firestar (f)

Re: My Book Of Rants!

« #1215 on: April 25, 2009, 05:21 PM »

Tis a dirty game. . . Politics. . .

Fragmented. Divided. . . Animalistic.

What more do I expect from a species exposed to high levels of radiation? Meltdown. When would they ever learn? Never I guess. Or. . . until parts are castrated/ neutered, yea that'll do! Oh well, guess it'll wait then. . .

Then again. . . *links fingers and cracks digits simultaneously* . . . I'll see the outcome of Ekiti's election while I dwell in her midst. . .

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