My Book Of Rants!

I will answer before Vesc comes in!
Yes it is both
The fees you pay to shag her is both for her consent and services
And why rant about Prostitutes?
You got no woman to rave about?
Its too late in the night to rant
but i cant let u go free on this one
Bring on your worst!
 

lmao of course i did catch it but just wanted to rant all the same!
How is u?

How dare you EFFING Gaynner Call me that ?

You sorry excuse for a male specie

You want me to rant at you and that i will

I have had a good evening

Talked to the ones who make me happy

But you had to ruin it!

A name is a means of identity

And i refuse the one you called me

But you are the lowest scum of the earth

this is for disrespecting me!

You are a skunk

For surely its only your dirty mind that could conceive that word!

I need to go to bed now Crazy Troglodyte

Silly leprechaun with no fortune.   

Don't try me o. lmao

Google it dear, just on your finger tips.( it means someone who lives like a recluse or cave man, infact hermit)lol

How is your dear Ph city and traffic? we need more informed rants from your Niger Delta Terrain

   So that's what you called me. I've stopped laffing. Seriously, i'm angry now. Tubie, you better start doing something about it . . . . _{like giving me nice round-downs and lots of french kisses}



  Chief-o, carry time-o, i dey parra-vex. But tell me tho, do i look that much like a cave-man? That allusion really hurts.

 :o what's going on here? I think its time to use the sharia law, mr ari, u are guilty of contemplating furnication and rape,u are hereby sentenced to 80 lashes of koboko if found really guilty of comitin d crime then we shall stone to death publicly aired on popular tv stations. Kay9 u are guilty of incitation towards evil,public display of imoral pix (showing d cleavages of grown women) public libeling and dishonouring of a lady,gross misconduct and flirting wif a strange lady. U are sentencd to 1000 lashes of a horse wip nd subsequent beheading with a blunt blade. Tubabie u must be an indigine of ibadan, that will xplain a lot. Uve comportd urself, only vehement in self defence the sharia court finds u innocent b4 kay9 begins his sentence he is xpectd to do your loundaries and any other domestic work for 6months. Less i forget vesc is xcluded he didnt partake in this whole stuff.
Hehen so no1 missd my absence abi? Now Im feeling grumpy.Saw your new lady ari, would love to take a ride 1day lol she's hot lol.

@ Kay9
   Truce!  But no dey play that kinda play again !

@ Vescucci

Why are you fuelling the fire by adding your own description, Neanderthal??


Thanks for the clean bill and am not from Ibadan
Okay Kay9 ready for your sentence???

kay for the sake of your sanity and that of the faithful inhabitants of this thread
i implore u to remove my name from that teeny weeny list u made on the previous page

holes, if i dnt make a dime, i do my shit meself even if it takes me all night while a test awaits d follown mornin.

Hi everyone,

Just saying hi. Funny posts, y'all not only psychos writers but also comedians.
I've got no rant. I've being so calm these past days,  I should visit here more often.

Kay 9

Read your rant about your job, must really hurt. I feel you jare. Though you were so quick to forget about it, Was waiting for you to rant about it the more. You are so good at ranting  while Ariblaze is very good at  .

I'm out. Got an exam in one of the most unorganized school in Nigeria!

No sign of improvement. *Sighs* Shakes head and went back to bed.


Wait a min. . .
Kay9, thanx for the nice words. Sorry about your job. I think I might have a solution, resign. Hehehe

Ari, which babe is sino talking about?

V, u really wanna live 4ever???

Hi everyone. Missed u all. Gudnyt.

the four horsemen


of the apocalypse,  .

NEPA (you can call it PHCN if you like)
NITEL
NNPC
NLC

The traditional four horsemen of the apocalypse are death, war, conquest & famine, but these four guys above are not doing badly, they are the portals through which we leak all our resources and a constant way of draining the country and keeping us permanently in the dark ages while others move on.

NITEL:
Should be sold at N1 (one naira only) and we should beg whoever buys it to assume some of the liabilities abeg. This portal is used to siphon billions of dollars every year with zero input back into the economy.

NEPA
Tricky to dismantle, but split them, sack all the current people in the electricity de-regulation board, bring aboard people who can think logically (no need for previous experience in power), sell off chunks of the organisation to them (transmission, generation, switching), use geographical location if necessary to sell multiple units to same company, stand back and see us rise up and approach 50% utility power in a short while

NNPC

Anybody been to NNPC towers at Abuja or go to their myriad offices nationwide, now tell me one single value added thing ANY of the divisions do? No need to sell this one, just dismantle, leave a section of DPR and NAPIMS behind to run the regulatory arm and investment arm of things

NLC
Make membership of all trade unions absolutely voluntary, scrap the NLC as is and let me start from scratch, this is the most corrupt organisation in the whole country and probably the world, worse than the police, customs and immigration combined, the root of most of our problems.

if you work in any of the orgs above don't panic, you will do much better in a post world

of the apocalypse,  .

NEPA (you can call it PHCN if you like)
NITEL
NNPC
NLC

The traditional four horsemen of the apocalypse are death, war, conquest & famine, but these four guys above are not doing badly, they are the portals through which we leak all our resources and a constant way of draining the country and keeping us permanently in the dark ages while others move on.

NITEL:
Should be sold at N1 (one naira only) and we should beg whoever buys it to assume some of the liabilities abeg. This portal is used to siphon billions of dollars every year with zero input back into the economy.

NEPA
Tricky to dismantle, but split them, sack all the current people in the electricity de-regulation board, bring aboard people who can think logically (no need for previous experience in power), sell off chunks of the organisation to them (transmission, generation, switching), use geographical location if necessary to sell multiple units to same company, stand back and see us rise up and approach 50% utility power in a short while

NNPC

Anybody been to NNPC towers at Abuja or go to their myriad offices nationwide, now tell me one single value added thing ANY of the divisions do? No need to sell this one, just dismantle, leave a section of DPR and NAPIMS behind to run the regulatory arm and investment arm of things

NLC
Make membership of all trade unions absolutely voluntary, scrap the NLC as is and let me start from scratch, this is the most corrupt organisation in the whole country and probably the world, worse than the police, customs and immigration combined, the root of most of our problems.

if you work in any of the orgs above don't panic, you will do much better in a post world






ps:i dint write this

Just got this from my sister. Actually it's been circulating on the net. Dunno where they got their info.
 
1. He understands your accent.
2. He knows that when you suffix every sentence with 'now', its not a command, e.g. "Come let's go now, "
3. When you guys go out, he pays and doesn't expect a refund of exactly half!
4. He understands why you have to send money home - probably doing the same himself!
5. He doesn't see your kid sister staying in your house as an inconvenience/ cramping his style. 6. He doesn't think you should put your parents in a home.
7. He eats 'Gbegiri and Amala' and doesn't think it's 'yucky' or 'spicy'. In a nutshell, loves your cooking
8. He gets your jokes.
9. The way he licks his ten fingers 'cos that Ogbono soup with Iyan hit da spot, Oh Yes!!!
10. He has got his education or he got something going on.
11. He may be a baby daddy but he loves his kid and takes care of him.
12. He can have a bus load of conversation without him saying much 'cos his momma taught him that.
13. He loves to see you shake that ass to Sir Shina Peters, the original "Back That Ass Up" master.
14. He will settle an argument and say sorry while maintaining his man status.
15. I am IN charge but he is THE charge, we understand that.
16. He knows where he is from. Living in NY does not mean you are from NY.
17. He thinks you're so pretty without makeup.
18. He calls you native endearing names like "Nne" or "Omo"
19. He has respect [not to be confused with obedience) for his elders(important) .
20. The way he gets embarrased and says "I beg oh" when you compliment him.
21. The way he says "I love you baby" ? may be very fake yet sounds so TRUE!
22. The way he eats meat with his bare hands? for some reason it is sexy to me.
23. The way he calls you his wife in front of all his friends.
24. The way he says "Shey you get am" when he thinks you are not paying attention, but you really are.
25. The way he knows that it is you calling and answers the phone "Hey Baby!" without looking at the caller ID.
26. The way Naija men look when they are all decked out in native? there is nothing sexier than a dark chocolate man in lace o!
27. Pronounces your name like say na im born you.
28. The way he flows from Ebonics to Pidgin English to Akata with ease.
29. He is just at home at your office picnic as he is at the Naija reunion.
30. The very satisfied look on his face after eating one of your meals and the way he glares at you while picking his teeth with the tooth pick,and you both know that you are his next "meal". 31. He appreciates the art of yanshrolling when he sees one!
32. Keeps you from doing wahala by buying a stickshift vehicle he knows U can't drive!
33. He saves you money on groceries a la "limited diet". Just cook the stew and he'll figure the rest? Eba, Amala, Fufu or even plain old White Bread!
34. No need for breast implants to impress am!
35. No need to go kill himself trying to maintain a six pack. He knows u know big belle is sexy inside Agbada!
36. He knows to allow you like three hours to get ready for a party!
37. He will not complain when you waka with headful of rollers inside house but quick to let you know that aint nothing sexy about that when you want to go outside.
38. Her singing while doing housework is a classic reminder of wetin you dey miss when you dey carry Akata woman!
39. His lunch (Rice, Beans, Dodo, complete with carefully selected assorted meat) wey you pack for am na something u know sey im no go wait "Palam" (gobble up!) when him reach work
40. He thinks the small gap between your front teeth are actually sexy!!!!

time 9:30am

date:saturday

venue:my house/my street/my hood

dressing:palm sandals/red joggers/blue tee shirt

vehicle of choice:BMW 3 series

  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,  . . . . . . . ,  . . . .

woke up from bed,with a slight tenderness on the right hand,i had gone and slept on it again

hazards of not using a pillow(i dont like it,the bosom of a woman is a different thing entirely)

another working day,for the millionth time, i cursed the kinda job i do,i should be getting up

with a hangover,whilst sandwiched between two fiery wenches,not like this,sore arm

and a stiffness between my boxers(ok i admit i sleep naked). . . .the sun was looking

glorious but a quick scan revealed dark clouds within the horizon,shit. .no biking for me

today,cant risk the 3rd mainland and lekki. . .under rainy conditions,thus my turning

attentions to my abandoned car first stop, the car wash around the neighborhood

at the car wash.

raked for the guy washing prior to his washing just to get him up to the task(it works)

sat down ordered for a pack of cigarettes and started watching the guy,for whatever

reason after the 3rd stick,the thirst surfaced. .i needed a drink. . more specifically

i needed alcohol time 10:30am. . . . it could have being earlier

chilled bottle of star came right up. . . . you really cant understand how good this feels

if you have more than 3hours of light daily in your house,pulled a long one,the foam

rebelled and i persisted,when i came up for air 3/4 of the bottle was gone. .bruuu,

lovely belch , another bottle please. .wahala come start. . .

two holier than thou women who came to wash their cars thought it wise

to turn my business to theirs, words like fraudulent,yahoo yahoo,419,unserious

started catching my ears. . .well since am not one to suffer fools especially in silence

i walked over and i said. . .excuse me?

the once chatty peeps, now became dumb. . . . . . .

so i repeated with the aid of hand gestures. . .excuse me,could you repeat what you just said?

still no response,. . . . .i was by now spoiling for it,but reasoning prevailed and i walked back to my beer

one of them scurried to look for the manger,who is one of those spent 10years in london cant cut it there had to come back home kinda guy


the guy of course knows me very much, i dont know what he told them ,but about 20minutes later one of them came apologizing


which brings me to this question

is it a crime to drink beer and smoke cigarettes at 10:30am on a Saturday morning at a carwash?

Oh peeps, just calling in to say hi.

Ariblaze, way to go! Break a leg!

Goodnite.

I'm trying but cant seem to help myself  finally got it