A Nigerian response

1) How bad are the relations between different ethnic groups in Nigeria? If you're a Yoruba can you freely marry and befriend an Ibo, for instance?

It is so bad, even our domestic animals fight each other. Just the other day, My dog, which was originally yoruba but has since been converted to Hausa, caught an Igbo dog screwing its bitch, it killed the dog and two other yoruba dogs that were witnesses!

2) Is "ibo" an offensive term? What's the difference between "ibo" and "igbo"?
What!!!! Who taught you such terrible words? Please don't repeat it again. I have known people that got killed just for saying those words!


3) Is Nigeria very dangerous right now?

Yes. It is very very very dangerous. You don't even have to get out of the airplane to experience the danger, just put your legs out the window as you approach. DO this only if you are willing to loose that leg.

4) The book 'What Would My Mother Say' gave me the impression that Nigerians look down on black Americans because our ancestors were enslaved. Is this true?

Yes, Nigerians look down on black americans. You see, when the white man came down, the only people they could catch were the lazy ones. The ones that couldn't run. This left only the athletic people in africa. Why do you think till next year, africans always win the marathon. Thats why we look down on you, you people are all lazy!


5) Is it common for Nigerian men to be abusive to their wives? I have a friend (american-born) whose parents are Yoruban and her father rules over her mother with an iron-fist. Because of this, my friend hates her father and pities her mother. If she were Nigerian would she consider this to be normal?

I am very sorry to answer that it is true that Nigerian men rulre their wives with iron fists. Actually, only Yorruba men use iron fist. Ibo men use Steel fist and Hausa men use a special alloy made of stone, steel, aluminum, and coconut fronds. I think the call it a STOSTEELAUcoconut fist. It is very hard!

6) How do Nigerians who have immigrated to or visited America feel about American society? Do you think it's morally bankrupt?

No, Infact America is not bankrupt at all. At the rate your president is going though, this may happen very soon.

 

ha! 

what's the difference between ibo and igbo?

 ibo is easier to type and igbo is a bad word in Yoruba.

hahaha

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm   i   seeeeeeeeee
d yoruba's will say "english is pepper onyobo tar"