Just For The Weekend

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free
to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next
day someone stole it.


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said, 'where???'

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about
having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look
at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "! Not this time!"

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter,
and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'.
I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clean clothes with me.'
Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'
'No,' he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
be cause the smell was getting worse.
So, I asked one more time,
'Danny, did you have an accident?'
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS,
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An older couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'D ever had!

Too long
I need short jokes

Yes! because he doesnt understand long English. It kind of confuse him!

~ Fab Jokes 

am non plussed

why u dey yab na?