Just Me And Me

Hmmmmmmmmmnnnn

Another weekend. I always call it mini-weekend since my employer had sliced it to that, go to work on Saturday and closes by 2pm, rendered useless since i have to go and rest first before thinking of doing some other things.

I have just Sunday and which is also sliced into half because of early morning service, 7.30 to 10.30.

I came back to make lunch and slept off without eating. Woke to serve THEM as they arrived one by one (since they went for second service), saw some programmes on TV and went to wash, took lunch around 5.30pm and that i consider the close of the weekend for me, waiting patiently for sleep so i can start another working week.

I called HIM immediately i came back from church. HE was still busy as usual for the past 3 days ave sincerely missed HIM but there was nothing i could do since i needed to give HIM enough time to do HIS work. I think HE may not like that but i really feel its the only way WE would not end up fighting for HIS attention. _{I think i was really wrong about that} i saw his mail this morning and that dint show me that idea was good for HIM, it actually "hurts".

What can I do without these duo God and HIM. Always wished we met earlier than now.

I wish to talk about HIM one day.

My office, came quite early because i did not follow the staff bus, i really needed to get the daily e-newsletter ready before ALL resumed,

My boss came early too, wearing the same suit color as mine, i think that caught his fancy too. Normal office runs today, nothing much for today as you can see i have enough time to post here now.

Kid sister doing good and happy in PHC, she is a gem
Kid brother doing good (newly wedded)
We shall see sooner than expected O

not in a good frame of mind to post today.

   

I am very scared for THEM , i hope i will never confirm this hunch am having about his infidelity. He said he was travelling to Aso Rock, only for me to hunt him and the destination changed to Yar'Adua's MotherTown almost immediately this morning. What is happening? But for God's sake, he promised to change, or maybe now am making a mistake, yes its a mistake because when someone you spend long hours to talk to keeps quiet, for Christ's sake you don't even know what he wants to do next.

And Etsa is 3 months gone, why is he soo different? Wants to label himself  by all means? haba mallam!

I only pray the new consumable is not pregnant for him, that will be 2 from the outside world. his bad

Talking about Etsa, atimes i wonder which world she came from. She annoyed me yesterday O, i wan talk but i perch because na her house i dey na  , he want to carry his home theatre to repair and take it to Mama and Papa for use because he wants to get a new one, no be him etsa say NO, i just laff inside me. Because if she know the kind mama wey i get, she for count herself lucky that mama is collecting anything from them
ha! _{with a wave of hand} i dey tire for ingrates atimes.



kid brother is coming back to this city by weekend, happy to have my twin back.

Mama had even boycotted me, she has not called me for days now. I will call when i leave here now.

HE is doing fine today, just as i said i will only confim his coming or not coming today, and alas HE is not coming. 
HE said somethings this morning, but of course no SORRY, ego or somethn. I don't have to be told, i know HE loves me but at the same HIM sabi say i dey maga atimes O.

I still maintain status quo, i had intended to pamper my hair this weekend and that am going to do. I am going to make her feel loved once again after almost 3 weeks of ghana braids. The hair don suffer, no be my fault O, na because him sef long na.

Oga dey travel this weekend, now they will kill me with meeting today. na lie, today is one of my laziest days to touch anything in the office but surf and play.

Drinking lots of water these days, the nagging headache is trying to come back.

but we go dey na

who no know go know and who too sabi go kpeme

Have a blissful weekend!!!

 

Oga finally travelled now, ha!!! what a sweet relief!

Dont ever get me wrong am not a lazy persin O, but when someone is jamming your brain together then you need a break, if not you become too dull even for his use.

Saturday: when i eventually left the office around 6pm. i dashed to the island market, picked a few things for my hair, and went straight to the salon. The so-called stylist was busy scrapping my scalp with that useless comb as if she was scrapping bottom pot, out of fatigue came a shout, even I could not believe. ha!!!

My phones were dead and i knew etsa would be as worried as hell and it was so. Told me oga later called. Ha!!! different folks with different strokes; nkan to nshe epo, ko she ora joo 

HE told me am heady just because i told him i was going to island market, HE actually reasoned it was too late for me to go, but for God's sake that was the only way i could compensate myself for a distrupted Saturday. Ha!!!

I dint like the "heady" word and i told him it gave me some bad memories, how will you say am heady when i don't want anyone or anything to stand in the way of my decisions anymore. Ha!!! I weak O. _{How person go do for this world sef} Well if i wont be heady then map something else for me at least that will replace what you are distrupting. Abi i lie???

Yesterday was a "resting day". I intended having a personal retreat but honestly i was drunk with sleep ha ha!!! i tire O, i was praying and sleeping and waking up and praying etc. After sometimes of course, i stopped deceiving maself and slept off. woke up completely around 4pm and you bet, i was weak like a log.

What else to do but to browse on my phone and of course chatted with HIM, he cooked ate and also slept, HE dint go to church too because its choir day and he is wary of too long services _{protestants are blessed with that}. HE told me sorry for calling me heady,    don't mind me O, i would enjoy while it lasted jare. We chatted on a lighter mood, promised to contact Mama, Papa and kid sister just to say hi to them all.

Started on a disappointing note this morning, staff bus did not come and they left me hanging without calling. No wahala, its just another day with Danfo, packed me like sardine at the back seat, we go dey na.

Got to the office and wow  my boss was ready for me, coffee grew cold on my table because i could not even see anything, he does that when his business trip will take him weeks. more than anything am happy he is gone now. I will be free to tell you some details of how i met HIM tomorrow. Am less busy naaaawwww 

another day in the office,

e-newsletter is about going into the second volume of 60 issues and I want to give vol. 2 a face lift. Busy trying to work on something more catching today.

HE doesnt still have much time for me, I really pray this week goes away fast.

Wonders will never end!!!  I have said it and will always say it, when a guy bullshit you, dont even sweat it out, let him go away as if it doesnt pull a hair of your skin, they will come back again to see if you are available, _{i think some he- are dull in the head and at heart} (THEY MUST COME BACK O). I just could not believe my eyes O, it all happened to a colleague in the office less than six months ago and it looked as if she was not going to survive it, we all encouraged her heart and warned her to stop begging, he- will come back and he did today but thank God she is no more available, taken for good.

Entered some nice threads in nairaland today, never knew some are still existing here O. Which way forward NLNG, some guys with good yarns there. I learnt a lot sha, always seen that but never knew its not all about NLNG.

Nite Nitty

Could not update this diary on Saturday because a bank that built his head office in the sky had decided to put my head in the clouds, they should thank their stars for rectifying the discrepancy today, if not,

Saturday and Sunday has been eventful.

Went to island market to pick somethings up after close of work. Went to flea market from their to pick some more things for the edikaikong. i have to emphasize that because its not a soup you prepare everytime.

Got home worn out but still danced my heart out with my nephew after supper, good for me these days O.

Sunday was nice, hard sermon on forgiveness and i left immediately after service couldnt wait for sunday school, because of edikaikong, I pray the good lord will forgive and show mercy.

Well i came back and i made it specially for HIM, its not my native but i did lots of that during my service year and ave really mastered it. Started boiling the yam and i had to leave the house for the salon to fix an extension. The girl in the salon did carpenter work for me again, dont think its cheap O, its the closest to me that is all.

HE came after training, tired. i quickly served him, HE ate while we discussed on the date when bells will be ring. Thank God we are getting somewhere. He explained things to me, things he wants us to achieve together, am so proud fitting into his life so easily this way. We both made up our mind to make it work and i know that is why it is working for us with OVERSEER on our side.

We met on a rather funny circumstance three years ago after my service year, it was a lil of a mystery for me because the situation sorrounding our meeting was not just my style but,  what can i say. After three years he came proposing just 6 months ago, when asked why he waited that long when he knew from the first meeting that "she is for me". It was beyond him and if you ask me why i did not wait for him to come when i was also "convinced" with a "love at first sight" that HE is the one for me, it was also beyond me.

TEACHER said it is "divine preservation". Shit happened within the period i met him and when he came proposing. Sorry i talk so much about HIM, HE is everywhere around me now, he made it an e-relationship, its either HE is calling or we are chatting anywhere and everywhere. Na so him dey do person??? even if no be so, i go enjoy the thing while it lasts. Save that for another day.

Spoke with my kid sister, mama and kid brother. Nice people, wants to see me smile all times. I dey sha with my head in the sky.

OVERSEER is the pillar of my life, the reason for my existence, what will i do without him, He brought HIM to me without sweat nor stress. I had known OVERSEER for years now and i have never regretted it, He lifts me when am down, picks me when am weak, gives me joy and gladness in place of mourning, what will i do without the BISHOP OF MY SOUL.

I gat work to do now. Today had been nice too, trying to prepare for a meeting that was adjourned till tomorrow.

catcha

Woke up with a slight fever yesterday and then straight to the toilet. Alas i was purging!!! I loathe medications too. Got to the office and there was no water in the premises, haba mallam, that pushed me to do an ORT immediately and i was relieved a bit till water came later, but before then i had to visit another office in the same street. Its good to be good.

Felt weak throughout the day and i closed in the office without laying my hands on a single thing only to work around giving instructions for the simplest task. Did not even branch at a pharmacy on the way home. I dont know why am wary of medicines these days.

Drank garri immediately i got home and it worked like magic. managed to call HIM before going to bed, HE was also worn out after the day's work.

Woke up this morning with a story on my mind, that papa told me years back. Am yet to understand why it came straight to mind this morning. it is all about how we as human dont have control over some things that happen to us. It is like this

Mr. A (a cattle rearer) was doing his normal work oneday and he needed to water the cattles, after the exercise he forgot his small bag of money at the bank of the river.

A monkey came after Mr. A and his cattles left and the monkey played with the money in the bag, scattered some at the bank of the river and left.

Mr. B (a poor man) came to bath at the same river, saw the money in the bag, picked it, thanked his luck and left.

Mr. C (a farmer) came almost immediately to drink from the same river, saw the scattered coins and wondered who will have done that, but as he was leaving Mr. A (cattle rearer) came back and asked for his money which Mr. C was ignorant of. Mr. A killed Mr. C for stealing his money. THAT IS GROSS INJUSTICE

Papa said that the Supreme Being explaining this riddle said:

"In the earlier generation, Mr. A's father was owing Mr. B's father exactly the same amount, Mr. B took from the riverside (the monkey had to waste that small potion so that Mr. B doesnt take more than is due)

It was Mr. C's father that killed Mr. A's father, so a revenge had to take place in whatever form.

Of course this generation can never explain what is happening but it did happen.

Lesson: Beware of the evil you do to others, your children might be the one to reap it. And immediately the word of God came to mind that.

", I am a jealous God, visiting the sins of the fathers on the children up to the third and the fourth generation of those that hate the Lord"

I had a confidence this morning that i will not partake in the evil done by an ancestor because as for me and my house we will always love the Lord.

we go dey na 

Lovely article from Dele Momodu. I love him because he is also a NIGERIAN BELIEVER like me 

http://www.thisdayonline.com/nview.php?id=119146

i just believe we shall get there. If you believe in Naija, get to read his articles on this THIS DAY every Saturday. I seems to agree with most of his articles anyways.


_{lest I forget, HE is fine only very busy these days} 

we go dey na

 hhmmmmmmmmmmnnnnn              

My colleagues are something else these days, one of them just picked on me to make other staff ease tension. Am enjoying it , not offensive either and i hope it doesnt get out of hand. I think it makes us quite supportive as Nigerians too.

Server wants to really frustrate e-newsletter these days O. Missed more than 3 issues now. But am back today full and decked. They are becoming addicted to it. But i hope that it is not going to be my attendance register, because any day they dont have it, they call to know if am in the office or not. can you imagine 

I really get tired of this city these days, _{ave always been} but i need to become a lil serious with book work now.  students forever  After first paper of certification in December, I will fly into HIS house without stress. HE promised to support the remainder of the certification.

How did i get this lucky ooooooooooooo??? _{abi na mouth him dey make}  never knew HIM to be a player too. God will help him.

Kid sister is good with the bump, got a new apartment. Sharing area with militants is not too heartwarming either. It is well.

Etsa want to know why i dint tell her that kid sister was with a bump, what the f.k???  I think she is deliberately tribalistic atimes for no reason. Wetin be that one and if a sister confides in me must i broadcast whatever is going on. I know limits to jist na, atimes i just get tired of things like this. When she feels because she doesnt belong to the same culture that is why I dont tell her things. Even the one wey be my own, i talk to her??? Why cant she look for another reason to excuse her nonchallant attitude toward family matters??? Is this not the same person that says TV will not go to Mama and Papa??? And funny enough Mama just informed me of her plans to buy a bigger TV because she just fixed DSTV. Atimes i just wonder       

Almost three weeks without a single post in my diary, how my heart is here but my hands are tied!!!

Office these days, not good (boss is back) now you just have to do things in a jiffy-like-crazy-rush manner. It drives me nuts.

Everythings seems turning round and round and now am feeling dizzy.

HE is doing fine with lots of surprises everyday. HE is the one thing i dont get tired of having in my life at the present. the only image i dont always feel like erasing.  A gift from God.

Certification is pissing me off. Can you imagine such an international body and yet dont seem to be serious about the welfare of students or,  ave become impatient like my boss?

Nothing challenging these past weeks except the death of a colleague in the office. It was like a dream, though he had been sick, but as he told us 3 days before his death "am back on my feet now O". It really kept me thinking. I think i dont attend to the welfare of some peeps that hold me in high esteem. I actually realized that after his death and that made me guilty, I asked him to forgive me, i really did, though i can see him no more.

Parties and parties and parties. Am not attending any!!! am too sure of that, which day will they understand what i always tell them that am conservative when it comes to things like these. All am doing is to buy their aso-ebi and give 'em "somethn", and they seems satisfied.   

Juju in office politics, how do those correlate with each other?  i tire O


and naija government? its one of the issues spinning me around and making dizzy. Everything and everybody and everywhere seems to actually have kidney problem and needs a transplant too, especially this city. Its really in need of a kidney transplant. 


we go dey na

Someone is actually travelling tomorrow, i know you know who he is, Mr. KillJoy, though over times now i realized that ave learnt more than i could imagine from him. "diligence", but i still feel there should be a lil time to refresh. My way of unwhining is actually "thinking or meditating" whatever you call it. I dont always enjoy "things" and then comes my work, it gives me so much joy doing it in my own pace. I hate being coerced in any way, i make mistakes and that is what i hate most. You can say that i cant work under pressure  but why must anyone be pressured to work? yeeah, i geddit, its the world we are. We either take it or leave it abi?

Talking about mistakes now,

i made one a few years back, oops! maybe i was pressured too? maybe and maybe not. i cant say now 'cos after realizing my mistake, i did not wish to leave anymore, i am indifferent to the issue up till now. maybe my heart still hangs with the error or somethn? I cant say, but i dont feel guilty anymore neither do i have much regrets, but atimes i feel not being guilty about it is borne out of a silent personal pride.

The mistake nearly re-directed me in life, would have made me a single-mother-starving-for love kind of lady. But i will forever thank God, for bringing HIM into my life. HE is a gift of life.


It goes this way:

Before a few years back, ave always been the decent mama, papa girl. No night crawling, always watching TV, schooled in the North, always with a guardian.  not that i was scared of the "guardians",  bad girl was not just in me. not a Vee either, broke that a long time out of that teenage curiosity.

After that one-year-old relationship, i left and took a new path (Church) and i was really kept there, it was a refuge for me. I forgot about sex and trust me for more than 13 years i was thoroughly kept. God really kept me. I became a refuge to many girls, most of whom are happily married now.

Through years, i had problems with school because my ambition looks so high and it seemed i wasnt wise enough to touch it, so this made me to stay home with a fantastic result without an admission for years. I wasnt a young girl by the time i was serving.

I eventually finished and of course went back home and less than 2 months i got a nice job.

On my first day in the office, during the induction i met this guy 

that was the beginning of the journey.

Praise is cool now, thank God for her. Always wanted to see her happy. I think I agreed with her, the devil never wants something good and thank God we all (including the guy) realized that in time. that actually saved the relationship.

Today is a Special Day, its HIS birthday and i have never been more confused in my life. What do i give him as a present.

last week i was broke, so whatever idea i had did not just click,  today wey pepper rest, i dont even know what to do as HE had successfully confused me the more. HE doesnt seem to want anything done on his birthday or what do you make of "this is not just a time to throw a party". I kept on hurting since yesterday, and of course i couldnt make it to HIS base because of this long holiday approaching.

I will not lie to you, even now i dont feel like travelling or even seeing him. am really hurting for what am not allowed to do. but i have to go and see my MIL-to-be, so am really forced to travel. i dont always want to post her, she had this strange feeling i will run away.

Anyways the beauty of it is that HIS birthday is being celebrated in my office right now, its really in the air and everyone is congratulating me on HIS behalf, funny isinit? 

i will give him the load down, when i get there.


I go dey na 

The journey actually began.

I am dedicated to work, i dont have the ability to backstab. Trained to be a secretary and ave always enjoyed every bit of my work. Now a PA, i dont stain that seat or the designation either. I try to leave people that come with a good impression of a secretary, that she is not always that touchy-frustrated-touch-me-not-over-dressed-inevitable BEING they are always meeting before seeing directors. Most times anyways, this attitude is misunderstood by those guys with untamed manhood 

That office was a financial institution. And of course this guy (lets call him BRAD) a seasoned marketer, clean cut, handsome, courteous. I am not sure there is any perfect man, but Brad looks perfect. He seems to know everything, a good dress sense, when you look at him, he looks chiseled and not moulded and a loyal follower of the Great One. His faith made him a no go area for me. We were on extremes and he is not just a choice for a date.

I did my work with all diligence and everyone became a family, they wont see the MD without me around, approvals were passed from my desk and so i had contact with everyone in the office, its my job.

For whatever reason, Brad started calling me his "sweetheart" after like 4 months of working together, and he started screening my prospective suitors, lol.  He had some girlfriends too, he neednt woo them, they did and i knew it, girls never gave him a space of breath and he was always open about it to me. He told me everything about himself (but for God's sake i wasnt suspicious of him ever interested in me). His faith and his dedication to it gave me that impression that absolutely nothing could be.

Towards my one year in the office, i had a banker boyfriend and he was always coming to the office to check on me. The banker was the beginning of more troubles. One day I told Brad that i have made up my mind to marry the banker based on the assumed commitment of the new guy and i was shocked to the bones with what i got. That he almost beat me that day was an understatement. It made me furious too because i just could not understand why Brad's reaction was that way. We were friends for God's sake, he had his girlfriends, why cant i have a stable relationship too. It really got me angry and our friendship became strained, i was too hurt to discuss amicably.

Anyways without telling me nothing, one of the girls was formally introduced with necessary gifts taken to her family. I asked Brad about it and he was in the affirmative, of course i was happy for him and believed i was free from his spontaneous jealousy at least. The girl was practically my favorite among his girls because i know she is decent.

Honestly i made a mistake about everything, my conclusions were just wrong. I never knew i was in for a real drama, it was a real drama

I go dey O

MIL and FIL are going to see mama and papa this evening. Lets see how it goes

I said it and will still say it here RELATIONSHIPS THRIVE ON COMMUNICATION,  learn to talk

Aisoro lenu ibere ori buruku ni O,

Congratulobia, i am coming up.

Relationships can become a nightmare atimes and you wonder what is wrong with either you or your partner.

I learnt new lessons:

Pray about your valued relationships. Little issues can actually become big enough to break you and pull the union apart if not careful, and take it or leave it, whatever you dont pray about is open to the devil's attack.

Fear will never allow you to do anything tangible with man and God.

I really want to erase these last two weeks from my memory, i think i better format it. 

Well exams is so close by, i get so scared and as if i should just postpone the stuff, but i wont. That is another fear

I really want it to come and go, so i can plan well for these ceremonies. I dont seems to know or understand anything, anymore. No colors in my head, no style of a gown, no idea of what i want my friends to be like on that day. am so so 

I wish someone will just volunteer to do that without making me dizzy with bills. I really wish. i think i will release my email now, maybe someone might just be kind on nairaland to do it free. firstly with the colors, gray is contant anyways but with what???

Mama is fine, calling me every minute, want to know what to prepare for intrada. Cant believe its in just two weeks.

I really need God by me side, He is my strength and my refuge. if he does not guide me who will?
As i post this day Lord, let everything that i will be that day be what you have ordained. Let my ideas be those ones you have ordered, let my steps be the ones you have guided, even my physical looks should be the one that will glorify your name. Amen

HE is really cool, two of his friends went to obodo oyibo last week, and he had God had been promoting him on every side too. Atimes i wonder if we are actually coming together, humans can be really difficult atimes.

FAITHFUL IS HE THAT HAS PROMISED

We go dey sha!!!