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Coco29 (f)
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i write poems whenever an issue touches me, negatively or positively, how ever i do not name them because i feel that the reader should know what writer is feeling with out having to spell it out. so let me know what you all think this poem is about.
did it hurt you to know that i had survived
did your heart bleed to know that i am still
alive did you think that i would have disappeared
along with my ancestors in the pages of
history well i have news for you am still here
and it is no mystery.
my hands were bond and feet shackled my
home taken from me with out pity my family
torn from my heart for all eternity
you look surprise to see me still alive
i could see the fear in your eyes oh
i know that state you are afraid that i
will retaliate.
well you have no reason to fear me am not bitter
or angry i don't even feel envy because i survive i
stand here triumphant in victory i am still
here and will continue to be.
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diddy4 (m)
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are u refering to a guy or a girl that poisoned you or something.
or did you cheat death?
cuzz the theme of the poem sounds like you cheated death or you were meant to die den you escaped and survived.
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Coco29 (f)
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diddy4 in the poem there are words that should have let you understand what i am writing about. my friends and family think it was about the same things you said it show how passionate i feel about that time in our existence.
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diddy4 (m)
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oh i see, den the poem is misleading if I'm not the only one that tot of what i said, well, nice poem.
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Coco29 (f)
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sweetie later i will say what it is about and explained then you will see it is not misleading, do you read MAYA ANGELOU her poems are like that but she names them so people know what she is talking about.
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diddy4 (m)
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I'm not really into poem and stuff. but when i see a nice piece, i know it. this is my first post in this section. you should try organizing it. it will sound better. did it hurt you to know that i had survived
did your heart bleed to know that i am still alive
did you think that i would have disappeared
along with my ancestors in the pages of history
well i have news for you am still here
and it is no mystery.
my hands were bond and feet shackled
my home taken from me with out pity
my family torn from my heart for all eternity
you look surprise to see me still alive
i could see the fear in your eyes
oh i know that state
you are afraid that i will retaliate.
well you have no reason to fear me
am not bitter or angry
i don't even feel envy because i survive
i stand here triumphant in victory
i am still here and will continue to be.
read that, i didnt edit it, i just re-organized it. tell me what you think. |
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Coco29 (f)
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girl that's some good editing, I HAVE MORE  seriously it reads better this way i will pay more attention  |
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Coco29 (f)
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i just realize that you are a he  sorry honey i do it all the time hehehe hehehe it is nice to know that men can be interested in poetry, it is suppose to be the guide to someone's inner most feelings and thoughts, and your are not a sissy ladies love that kind of thing honey. |
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diddy4 (m)
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aiight hun, thanks alot.  you got skillz and nice potential and your poems invoke this feeling of pity, courage and happiness at the same time. your mood is that of sadness and indifferent. your tone has this vibrant energy but soft and steady. |
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Coco29 (f)
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ok seeing that you were so nice and all imagine slavery as a person and you met him or her my poem is what i will say to him, how strong we have been, how they took us from africa, how they expected us to stay down and die, is it still misleading?  |
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diddy4 (m)
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no sweety it aint. you know, if you name a poem, you have already painted half of the picture in the readers mind. that way you will get the same interpretation.
if people should read your last post, dey wont say what i said, dey will basically say what you have in mind cuzz u have painted half of the picture for them.
thanks for explaing darl.
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Coco29 (f)
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it is amazing that nland has people who can actually have intelligent conversation with and what you felt about the poem is what i wanted so now i think i will name it- i met slavery the other day- what do you think |
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diddy4 (m)
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thats ok,
it is a nice title. really nice.
how i met slavery. slavery and I. why were we taken from Africa? slavery so ruthless. and we were taken.
i miss africa. slavery my enemy. slavery took me away or slavery took me. and i survived slavery.
you title is nice but bear in mind that whatever title you give a poem must paint half the picture of what you have in mind.
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Coco29 (f)
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you know what, i am in my last year training to become a counselling psychologist, and one of the things that i am aware of is that i put off doing thing that would bring up other issues for me so i will name that poem.
i know it has to show that i am at peace with slavery now that i have met met him and realize that i am no longer angry.
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sweetnini (f)
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Is this ur assignment in school or what?
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diddy4 (m)
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ok, i get you.
goodluck with your schooling and keep writing them poems. I'm sure you touch a lot of people with it.
was really nice reading your poem. brought back my poetry skillz. thanks alot.
@sweetnini
what has poem got to do with psychology? and d lady you are talking to is way above what u just said.
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Coco29 (f)
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diddy4 it was wonderful speaking to you, and you have helped me alot  |
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sweetnini (f)
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how would i have known that
it was just a question
do i even know the person?
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diddy4 (m)
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thats why it is good to make neutral comments. anyway, hope u aiight.  |
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sweetnini (f)
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i said what i was thinking
didnt know it was bad
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sweetnini (f)
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and i'm aight thanks for asking
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diddy4 (m)
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u welcome hope mars is treating u good. |
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Coco29 (f)
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diddy4 i will put some more later just for u sweetnini poems are just one of my many hobbies, i have never shown my poems to any one but family i just wanted to know if i was writing what i was feeling. |
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diddy4 (m)
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thanks CC. I'm so looking forward to reading them. thanks alot. |
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sweetnini (f)
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mars is treating me nice
@coco29,
lol
i love your poems
i to writ poems as a hobby
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Coco29 (f)
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[@coco29(what kind of name is that it sounds like one drink like that in hausa land ilmfao koko yea right koko)i love your poems i to writ poems as a hobby coco because it is a natural product, it is rich in color, delicious to drink and smell wonderful like me - 29 is my age. i am happy that you like my poem, i will write some more. diddy4 what do you think |
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Coco29 (f)
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hey
did you read my new ones
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Coco29 (f)
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hey how are you doing today,
i did write some new ones
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