Premarital Sex is Not OK!

I am a tolerant person; if what you are doing is not hurting me, I won't bother you.  If you are man who loves other men, or who wears women's clothes, I don't care.  If you believe that a stone is your God, I say no problem.

But I am 100% against premarital sex.  I am 100% against the practice of having sexual relations before marriage.  If you are a man in the habit of blinding the eyes of young girls with the idea of love, I say "stop it, what you are doing is hurting guys like me!"  I do not think it is fair for you to deflower all the girls and then dump them for people like me to marry!



What say you?

First of all, I agree with quicksilver 100% about the hierarchy rule.
There has to be the deflowerers, the dumpers and the pickers like Mr Admin.

It might interest you to know that it's proven fact that Ladies enjoy sex more than men do and they are partly responsible for all the premarital sex act. Besides, most girls will think you're impotent if you don't prove yourself early in the relationship.

I would never marry a girl that I've not tasted for so many reasons which I'm still compiling.

I think it's a a culture thing as well, here it is acceptable for people to do it, however I suspect that the risk of sexually transmitted dieseases has something to do with people's views in nigeria.

Go girl!  That's what I'm talking about.  Some people talk as if sex is a reflex action that can't be controlled. 

No matter what our individual opinion is about this, please lets not encourage it, premarital sex has hurt a lot people who had good intentions in a relationship but just because the other person wanted to have some fun, if you ask for my opinion i think its a personal decision who takes at a point in a relationship.

I think we all need to understand the sex drive.  The appetite for sex is something God created within us - it was HIS idea not ours, the sex drive is not wrong but we are to control this desire. Compare it to the hunger drive. It is not wrong to be hungry but to steal in order to satisfy the hunger is wrong. Sex drive is both as a means of reproduction and the means by which a  husband and wife can express to the fullesst their love for each other. while comparing it with the hunger drive , you can deny the sex drive without suffering any harmful efects whatsoever.  Without a doubt sex is important but not essential to the enjoyment of life!

This is a very tricky one!

Well, what can I say? I say sometimes people go into relationships with the very best intentions and every plan of getting married or remaining partners. We convince ourselves at such times that there really isn't anything wrong with getting intimate with the guy/girl you're so sure you're getting married to. With change being the only constant factor in this fragile world we live in, events overtake their intentions more often than not and it's another case of .... you know what. Sometimes unwanted pregnancies plague unmarried couples and a few people must have experienced STDs as well.

All in all, it might appear that premarital sex wrecks more havoc than it bonds the couple, really, but as one of my sisters here said, it's a God given urge, however wrongly channelled, and sometimes, we just find ourselves succumbing to the pressure. Having said that however, there are certain guys/girls one meets in the course of socialising and you instantly know that you'd better not even begin to think about hugging them not to talk of bedding such people. I mean, let's face it, how many guys can a girl possibly have sex with before she's finally married? It's really dicey this one. But for guys, again it’s another feather to your already heavy caps. And someone says it's not a man's world? Dream on......

Which way did I cast my vote? Sometimes.

Chigszy!  Steady on girl.  Let's not get too graphic now, shall we.

Premarital sex! This is a very delicate issue.

Well, what I have to say about this is that premarital sex is very bad.  Outside religion, it is bad because it leads to so many things that we didn't budget for.  Things like sexual transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, e.t.c.

Considering it in the religious aspect, Galatians 5:22 is against it. Premarital sex is also another name for fornication. They are works of the flesh. Apart from that, John 3:16 means a lot than what we think:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him will not perish, but have everlasting life".
If God loves us so much the only way we can return his love is to abstain from any sinful act that will nail him back to cross. Premarital sex is one of them.

You cannot claim to love a lady and still want her to sin against her Creator.  If you should have sex with her, will that love continue the way it was before you made love to her?  "No".  There is nothing as good as patience. Love is patient. If you love your partner you will have to wait afterall you will still enjoy it till the day you die.

So, why the rush?

Premarital Sex is Not OK for only one reason: The Man Upstairs says so.
Seun, I think you are coming from a selfish angle but if you just continue to look up to God, you will live with the woman of your dreams until God calls. There are still some female virgins even at 30, abi ladies I lie? There's hope fellas, ZIP UP!

No to sex.
It's simple: NO

Let's tweak the topic a bit.
what about kissing.......
Let's move it up.. fondling and caressing
Let's take it up one more step to the tip.... oral sex

Nll the while no real sex (penetration etc)..no SEX

Where exactly do we draw the line?

Premarital sex is complete bullshit rubbish.  Femi talked about kissing, fondling, carressing, oral sex etc.  I'd say all these are not pre-marital sex but they lead to it.

So if you are avoiding premarital sex, all this must be avoided too, because it's you who says, "no penetration" that will end up kissing, caressing and fondling your {way} into it.  So, ...

Sex is sex. Penetration or no penetration. What d'you call the smooching and fondling and the rest of it? Seems to me that some of us are simply being deliberately hypocritical. Everyone's talking like they've never been there and all of that, well sorry o, I am of the same opinion that one should wait for the marriage bed and all of that but at the same time, knowing what is right does not necessarily mean we all do what is right all the time, does it?

Case in point: you're not supposed to go late to work, but you do on occasion, you're not supposed to overeat but you do once in a blue moon. Lying comes to some people more naturally than water is to fish. Same applies to this issue.

I am by no means preaching promiscuity, but I think it would be a better world we live in if people learnt not to be so duplicitous.

Touché.

Just curious: is there a non-religious basis for objecting to pre-marital sex that both parties willingly consent to?

Yes!  I am the abstaining type and I don't want to end up with a girl that has "seen that, done that".  Hardly does a sexually active your lady end up with the person that she first sleeps with.  Oh, of course, because of the "love" they would do anything the "boyfriend" demands ...

I understand that you might have your preferences in this matter, and that's fair enough.

However, I don't really understand the bolded bit. Are you saying that if a woman has sex before marriage, she is more likely to jump from man to man? Are you also saying the corollary is true, I.e. if a woman has sex after marriage, she is less likely to jump from man to man? If my understanding is correct, could you explain how you've come to hold this view?

Perhaps what you mean to say is that if a woman is 'weak' enough to give in to sex before marriage, then she will be 'weak' enough to give in to any person that 'toasts' her enough, even when she's married.

The problem with this argument is that you can only talk about 'weakness' when someone gives into to something they (for whatever reason) have decided it is wrong to do. For example, if I decide I want to go on a diet, then I am weak if I break my diet and start eating chocolate and cakes, but I'm not weak if I eat chocolate and cakes when I'm not on a diet.

So it may be the case that the woman does not see anything wrong in pre-marital sex, and therefore you can't consider her 'weak' for not abstaining. Anyhow, I believe there are more important factors determining whether a woman is likely to leave her husband for another person than whether she has had sex before her marriage or not.

In any case, I have my own (non-religious) reasons for preferring to wait until I'm married before having sex, although I'm not as hardline as you are about this matter.