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Ka (m)
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Ka, what are your (non-religious) reasons for prefering to wait? Well, Seun, it's mainly because I'd prefer to formalise my union with the woman I'm in a relationship with before doing anything thing that could bring children into the world. Yeah, either of us could use contraception, and it's not the end of the world if she becomes pregnant before we're married, but it's just a personal preference, and I did say I'm not hardline about it. |
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dominobaby (f)
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God help you if you don't use a condom sha...
Sorry, by doing that you have already gone against His instructions. so how do you expect His help?  |
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dominobaby (f)
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However, I don't really understand the bolded bit. Are you saying that if a woman has sex before marriage, she is more likely to jump from man to man? Are you also saying the corollary is true, I.e. if a woman has sex after marriage, she is less likely to jump from man to man? If my understanding is correct, could you explain how you've come to hold this view?
Ka, permit me to give my own view about that statement. First and foremost, saying NO to premarital sex, starts from the heart. It is a decision you take and therefore adhere to it no matter what. It does not start when you find yourself in such situation and are trying to get yourself out of it. Those who play around with sex before marriage, man or woman, tend to do the same thing after marriage. They are never satisfied - always looking for a new thrill. |
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brokenrules02
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premarital sex......one the one hand, we all know deep down that it's wrong but the fact still remains that we see so much around us that pushes us towards it that we no longer pay attention to that 'voice'. it is not okay at all because it all boils down to self control.the sexual urge is in every animal but the difference between the dogs who have sex whenever they feel like and the humans, is that we are supposed to exercise some control over it.like someone said, sex is a gift.it is not meant to be abused.you boys out there are ruining innocent girls' lives with your purported 'love'. cool website!stumbled on it by accident.publicize it more  |
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manuel (m)
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Wow! this topic is great. Come to think of it if u are a man, u preserved your virginity till marriage & discovered your woman wasn't a virgin how would you feel? I will be the most annoyed, I therefore think it is cool to indulge in pre-marital sex provided you use protection. Don't see me as insane because you will have to know whether you and your partner will be compatible in bed when you marry. It will only be folly to keep your self till marriage and discover that your woman has enjoyed her youth. I don't know if anyone has watched this LAKIRIBOTO( a yoruba movie) film before. in the film, the womanhood of the heroin was sealed. So you see what I mean, taste your woman to know if she is a LAKIRIBOTO or not .  |
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Seun (m)
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If I find, after marriage, that my 'woman' has "enjoyed her youth" and decieved me about it, I will divorce her immediately. Divorce is easier when there are no children involved.
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ezinne1212 (f)
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People, stop placing to much importance on sex. I know someone who stuck to the first guy she slept with because she was afraid no one else would want her. The image of marrying the first and only man she slept with appealed to her. All i can say is, although she thinks she was the first person he slept with, she wont be the last. He happens to be that kind of person.
Some people come into your lives for different reason and sex can be an expression of how strongly you feel about that person at the time. Don't let it trap you. I'm only against people who become to carefree and take advantage of this gift. There has to be balance in the world~
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brightuzorka (m)
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Guys.........
theres nothin to fight about here,see it like this,We are humans and we do some things though it not right before God,we find ourselves doing them and this is one of those things.
If you go into a relationship,you expect the "T.L.C" (TENDER LOVE AND CARE) and as time progresses,things begin to orchestrate themselves into one big ball of feeling at that point you just got to pour it out and who do u give it to?,--your lover of course.So,its jsut like that guys you can't say yes to a relationship(intimate) and not say "yes" to sex in it also.I goes side by side.
So if you can't handle both together in a relationship then don't bother going into one aight guys.........and this is no play.
Peace.
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hotpikin (f)
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I am a tolerant person; if what you are doing is not hurting me, I won't bother you. If you are man who loves other men, or who wears women's clothes, I don't care. If you believe that a stone is your God, I say no problem. But I am 100% against premarital sex. I am 100% against the practice of having sexual relations before marriage. If you are a man in the habit of blinding the eyes of young girls with the idea of love, I say "stop it, what you are doing is hurting guys like me!" I do not think it is fair for you to deflower all the girls and then dump them for people like me to marry! What say you? LMAO! is this f'real?? r u sure you're a man??? woah! dt's surprisin'!  |
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dablessed (f)
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Hey! Hey! girls and boys, calm down, why are you dragging this topic? Its a simple matter, doesing require the flexing of the muscles at all. Ther are many reasons why you must wait until the wedding night:
1. The Bible makes it clear, so going all the way with a man before the wedding night will amount to utter disobedience and irreverence to God.
2. When u sleep with a man you are not married to, i doubt if the man will ever marry you.
3. If the man now chose to marry you even after sleeping with you, it will only take the grace of God for the marriage to work.
4. See, trust is betrayed when you engage in PMS. Dont do it, fleeeeeeeeeeeee from it as the bible commands.
And who says its not possible to abstain? It is very well possible. I had been in a relationship for 4 years and sex was perfectly under control. The problem most people have is that they don't help themselves at all. You do not want to have sex with a man, why do you kiss, neck and pet? These are meant to prepare married people for the real act of worship ( As TD Jakes called it ). What are you doing alone in the dark, holding hands? Why do you stay over at the guy's apartment? Why do you go for counselling at odd hours when no one is there to put a check on you? Now answer me , who is deceiving who? Grow up boys and girls.
And you Seun, why do you have to wait until you get married before realising that your wife was never a virgin? Dont you think it would be pathetic to get married and the morning after your wedding, you are thinking of getting a divorce? Please don't be that stupid my dear brother ............... talk about every single thing with your intended, i mean everything including how many guys/girls you have slept with and if you are bith virgins, i congratulate and rejoice with you but make sure you keep the hold on untill that glorious night. Do not sweep things under the carpet. Talk, talk and never ever get tired. communication is very vital in a relationship. All the best
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Seun (m)
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why do you have to wait until you get married before realising that your wife was never a virgin? Young women (and men) eager to get married have been known to tell lies to each other ...  |
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tayotina (f)
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Let's get real dablessed. Why would I tell a man who is ready to marry me that I have slept with over hundred men? Does it really make any difference?
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mosiate (f)
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If premarital sex in a relationship and the relationship is collapsing, the lady definitely will have a phsycological problem because something has happened between them.
Just imagine: if they are no more together, how will they look at themselves? If it avoidable, please let us avoid it.
Zip up! it's worth waiting for.
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dablessed (f)
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Tayotina,
Why on earth would you not tell the guy you're getting married to, that you are no longer a virgin? Why? Tell me, why? You see, there has got to be a full disclosure and openness between the two of you. why would you allow your intended to feel he is getting married to a virgin when in actual fact he is not? That is enough to ruin your marriage because two crimes have been commited here:
Crime number one: you have not kept yourself chaste and for that one man.
Crime number two: You have not told the absolute truth, have deceived and mislead your intended. This is one of the reasons why so many homes are falling apart, hence the devil is having a wonderful laugh at failling marriages.
See, there is no problem in letting your intended know about your state. You could have lost your virginity out of ignorance or you may have even been raped, we've heard cases of girls who lost their virginity innocently. Talk to him about it - if he loves you indeed, he'd still marry you despite the fact that you are no longer a virgin. Please don't you tell a man you are a virgin when you are not - it is very deceptive!
Have you read any of Francine Rivers' books? Try and read the atonement child, it will bless your heart.
All the best
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TopDog (m)
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If I find, after marriage, that my 'woman' has "enjoyed her youth" and decieved me about it, I will divorce her immediately. Divorce is easier when there are no children involved.
Seun, be real dog. Of what use is the information to you whether your woman slept around before marriage or not? Do you want to chase down the cowboys she rode with and shoot them down? Do you realise that knowing what she did would make you see her in another "light" and your mind will do havoc with you!! I agree with tayotina...there is no point dog...let sleeping dogs lie |
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Seun (m)
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I am not the fool that will be picking up what other men have tasted and rejected.
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TopDog (m)
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Yeah right Seun...as if you haven't tasted and rejected in your lifetime. Who did you reject them for?
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Seun (m)
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Topdog, I can't see that you're indeed new to the forum. Anyway, I haven't tasted and rejected anybody, and thanks to this forum hundreds of people are aware of that. (This ironically reminds me of Britney Spears, the former "virgin" who turned into something else overnight ...) Sex relationships are so complicated that you cannot enter into them by chance. The idea that men are horny and cannot control themselves in the presence of attractive women is simply a lie and I want all ladies to know that. |
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hotpikin (f)
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The idea that men are horny and cannot control themselves in the presence of attractive women is simply a lie and I want all ladies to know that.
interestin'... |
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TopDog (m)
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Anyway, I haven't tasted and rejected anybody, and thanks to this forum hundreds of people are aware of that. And these hundreds of people are with you every waking (or sleeping) hour....na when breeze blow, fowl yansh go open. |
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legry (m)
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I am not the fool that will be picking up what other men have tasted and rejected.
Seun look i respect your views on these ideas you have but have you ever thought of the negative side, You disvirgin her tooday okay you're now happy and for some reasons she finds out that she loves sex to a fault (wey more than you do or can give her in short a she wants sex all the time) then maybe something goes wrong with the both of you tommorow not that you have broken up or anything just a serious argument and she sees another guy she just finds attractive and ravishing don't you think she would be curious to know how that guys p#**$%# would look like and how well he could use it on her being that its only yours she has seen or felt before. I DONT TRUST VIRGINS AND LORD KNOWS I DONT WANT TO EVEN THINK OF A MARRYING A VIRGIN PERIOD. Seun stop thinking that the world is filled with saints you just just might get bitten |
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tayotina (f)
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Legry, if a virgin comes your way, and you are so much in love with her, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
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legry (m)
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In my ongoing search for the woman for me or the woman ill spend the rest of my life with ive come across virgins and the same thing happens all the time. The moment i know she's a virgin something in me snaps and i totally loose any feelings i had for her. I CANT TRUST THEM don't you see so that means i can't LOVE them. So if a virgin comes my way she gets two things one is not love and the other is total lack of trust from to her.I CANT LOVE THEM CAUSE I DONT TRUST THEM!!
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tayotina (f)
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Legry, I don't understand you. Why is it that you don't trust VIRGINS?
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legry (m)
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As crazy as it may seems i would rather marry a woman that has been with a 100 men than with one that is going to have me as man for the first time in her life. Yes experience atimes makes us unecessary judges to situations but experience can also be our saving grace. A bad experience has put me in this position and it is one i stand to maintain. Dont think i'm wierd o just know am cautious
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Pinky (f)
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Then maybe something goes wrong with the both of you tomorrow - not that you have broken up or anything, just a serious argument - and she sees another guy she just finds attractive and ravishing don't you think she would be curious to know about that guy's p#**$%# Legry, stop talking about virgins like they are HIV which you just have to run away from. Don't you know that if you date a virgin, and you guys quarrel, she wont look elsewhere because you are the one that disvirgin-ed her? Instead, she will be clinging to you like she's your next skin (it might even irritate you) So don't think she will look elsewhere. No she will want you. Mind you, if you marry a virgin, you will be the one to be teaching her how to please you both in bed. But if you marry a pro, you will be shocked at how much she knows. You might not even be able to satisfy her in bed. So wake up my guy, and go for the one you can thrill in bed. |
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tayotina (f)
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That's very true Pinky. Legry if you are in a relationship with a virgin and in the course of your relationship, you disvirgin her, she would never cheat on you. Instead she would cherish you and cling to you as if her very existence depends solely on you.
She would always look up to you.
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legry (m)
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Soo you think, soo you think, research well ladies just research well
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Seun (m)
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Legry,
When a man talks about fellow men, a lady should be attentive and listen well. In the same way, a man should open his ears and listen well when a lady is talking about fellow ladies. You cannot claim to know more about ladies than the ladies themselves!
Seun.
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Pinky (f)
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legry, seun is right.. we ladies (pinky & tayotina) re talking about our co-sisters so learn..
be patient with virgins & i am telling u.. u will discover,,{some not all} re naive .but al of them re fun 2 be with
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