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legry (m)
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Sorry pinky im going to cut into you and seuns super womans power knowledge here but i can't even be hypnotized to beliving or trusting a virgin i hope that makes my point CLEAR!
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jummy79 (f)
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I don't understand how somebody's sexual state makes them more or less trustworthy than anyone else.
Virgins and very sexually experienced women can both lie to you. Both can also be the most truthful and honest people around. I don't see how because one is a virgin (or not), you can make judgements about their character and feel that that judgement would always be correct.
Personally, I am a virgin and intend to wait for marriage. I do agree though that people who make it seem like guys cannot wait are crazy! Men have brains (in their head, even!) just like women do and they can make conscious decisions on how to conduct themselves sexually.
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dablessed (f)
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Jummy79,
You're d best! Ride on girl! Make sure u keep the hold on till that night OK? Any man that wants to sleep with u before marriage is not just worth your husband. There are loads and loads of rewards in waiting.
Legry,
I tire for you o, i just don't understand you sha! When men are praying for virgins, you dey run! Na when o! Have a rethink ok ? It pays to wait.
Ciao
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fordoryan (m)
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We are all missing a very important fact and that is that we are all adults and adults are free to make their own decisions without others judging them.
I believe we all have choices to make and when in relationships some of the toughest decisions are made. One of them is premarital sex. If two people (irrespective of dating length and future plans) feel that they are ready and they have sex or "make love" I believe it is their decision and as such (1) it should be respected as their decision which it is and (2) they should not be judged by other who are not and probably will never be in the exact form of relationship, not experience the same sexual desire, and did not have the same upbringing.
Life is all about decisions and it is easy for us to judge and say certain things are wrong, what we must remember is that peoples upbringing, perceptions and situations are different.
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Seun (m)
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Fordoyan, welcome to Nairaland!
The problem with deciding to participate in premarital sex is that a very important party to the decision is not present - the future wife of your boyfriend, or the future husband of your girlfriend. The permissive world we live in is unfair to those of us who prefer to wait.
If I knew the person I was going to marry, I would not want her to engage in sex with someone else. But since I don't know her, I think she should wait until she meets me before making such a decision. Instead of being in a hurry to sleep with the first guy she meets, she should be in a hurry to find me!
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legry (m)
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I don't understand how somebody's sexual state makes them more or less trustworthy than anyone else.
Virgins and very sexually experienced women can both lie to you. Both can also be the most truthful and honest people around. I don't see how because one is a virgin (or not), you can make judgements about their character and feel that that judgement would always be correct.
Personally, I am a virgin and intend to wait for marriage. I do agree though that people who make it seem like guys cannot wait are crazy! Men have brains (in their head, even!) just like women do and they can make conscious decisions on how to conduct themselves sexually.
Jummy don't get me wrong here I have nothing wrong with virgins and i think if you remain a virgin to your wedding day its a great thing (for you ) all i say is that for me personnaly i don't trust virgins and its not for being virgin now its there what will happen after they get disvirgined thats my fear for virgins i repeat its not the now its the after and i know its going to be easy for you say that once she gives up her virginity for you she'll never be able to leave you well to me that is horse s#*!t, its been done and its still happening to alot of brothers. Being a virgin till your wedding day is a great feat especially in this mordern day where 13year olds are having sex, i just personnaly have an issue with the virginity thing. And for your info men can wait and be with a woman without sex(though most sexually active men i know that are in that position satisfy there urge outside) its not all about sex you know and hard for you to believe i can be that kind of man too BUT whenit comes to VIRGINS so sorry not my game Jummy79,
You're d best! Ride on girl! Make sure u keep the hold on till that night OK? Any man that wants to sleep with u before marriage is not just worth your husband. There are loads and loads of rewards in waiting.
Legry,
I tire for you o, I just don't understand you sha! When men are praying for virgins, you dey run! Na when o! Have a rethink ok ? It pays to wait.
Ciao
DABLESSED stay blessed o but for me LAI LAI pray to have one, wish to have one, but be very careful an advice from a brother to another Adios Amigos |
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mamba (m)
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There's nothing special about being a virgin nowadays, times are changing fast and the idea of remaining a virgin till honeymoon night for some girls is a burden.
There's that freedom you get when you loose it.
BTW, I wont even like to marry a virgin!!
wahala is too much!!
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dablessed (f)
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Mamba,
what sort of wahala do u mean? Elucidate please.
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Seun (m)
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Don't mind Mamba. He is just trying to confuse the virgins so they'll sleep with him  . |
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dablessed (f)
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hey girls, beware of mamba o, don't be deceived.
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fordoryan (m)
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Fordoyan, welcome to Nairaland!
The problem with deciding to participate in premarital sex is that a very important party to the decision is not present - the future wife of your boyfriend, or the future husband of your girlfriend. The permissive world we live in is unfair to those of us who prefer to wait.
If I knew the person I was going to marry, I would not want her to engage in sex with someone else. But since I don't know her, I think she should wait until she meets me before making such a decision. Instead of being in a hurry to sleep with the first guy she meets, she should be in a hurry to find me!
Seun, thank you for welcoming me!, I really like this forum. I must say that I really admire your way of thinking, but unfortunately it lacks practicality, you are working on the ultimate assumption that (1) that perfect girl for you exists and (2) she will find you. I must tell you though noble and enviable dreams they are unrealistic. The world is not that kind.(you said it yourself, its unfair, but thats life) I take pride in being a realist and I believe that as adults we must make our choices and sometimes the choice to have premarital sex may lead to love and marriage, sometimes it causes heart ache. I happen to know of a couple that had relations before marriage probably even before falling in love, four years later they got married and still are today. Its all about decisions and you cannot always make the right one. |
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Seun (m)
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It's not really a hard decision. Just don't do it. See, was that hard?
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dominobaby (f)
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There's nothing special about being a virgin nowadays, times are changing fast and the idea of remaining a virgin till honeymoon night for some girls is a burden.
There's that freedom you get when you loose it.
BTW, I wont even like to marry a virgin!!
wahala is too much!!
It's your choice and you'll decide, girls don't let no one destroy your pride, you are no showpiece for a guy to hide and lose all that you are inside. This day, somewhere, we've lost the value of what a woman is supposed to be, a queen, respected and defined. @legry and mamba Am i am wrong because what i can understand from you guys, is that you both don't value virginity?  |
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Seun (m)
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I want to propose another hypothesis at this point: Young men do not value virginity while they are still playing about. It is when they finally want to 'settle down' that they start looking for, "a girl I can take home to my mother". That is when that the girls that they have been 'playing' with realise that they have been swindled. As I said, it is just a hypothesis ...  |
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dpgee
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well left to me i fell it's up to the party concerned here, because left to me i must know the kind of person am going to marry and what she is like and not gamble until i get married and find something else so, i fell enjoy your self.
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legry (m)
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Your hypothesis seun should paleazeee be checked all over and domino i value virginity and must i say this over and over i JUST DONT TRUST IT. There is nothing wrong with you being a virgin i just don't trust you. Virgins are not sigk people, am not saying every virgin should go and hang her legs in the air and get diisvirgined all i say from my side i Dont trust or believe in them and ive clearly stated my reasons . Seun my guess is or from what ive been reading you are still a virgin good for you and your stand fo virginity is strong yes all im saying and will keep saying is you can't compare the wisdom calmness and maturity of an elder to a youngster that is still seeking knowledge in my definition a learnerd woman will not be as curious as the unlearned one and curiousity we all know can be a bastard
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Seun (m)
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Yes, but if you're married you have several decades to learn this things.
My opinion is that young men should concentrate on success/money first of all. When we are very comfortable, we will have the time to dabble into relationships in a purposeful way. I mean relationship with intention, and not relationship for sex or for food.
If you want food, get a cook. If you want sex, men, why can't you find a more straightforward way to relieve yourself? Someone on this forum said a woman is not a toilet for men to use to relieve themselves when sexually tense and I think I agree.
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dominobaby (f)
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domino I value virginity and must I say this over and over I JUST DONT TRUST IT.
sounds like a contradiction to me. you can't compare the wisdom calmness and maturity of an elder to a youngster that is still seeking knowledge in my definition a learnerd woman will not be as curious as the unlearned one and curiousity we all know can be a bastard
these learned ones once were virgins right? |
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Seun (m)
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Quotes from http://www.frontiernet.net/~survey/- "Purity has been important to men from the beginning of recorded history. Several thousands of years ago, the ancient Greeks encouraged homosexual acts among men so that there would be virgins for them to marry."
- "Men are out for either lust or love and usually don't mix them up.
When a man is out for lust, all that he really desires from her is sex (the conquest). He does not take her seriously and does not have intentions of ending up with her. He is just in it for fun.
When a man is out for love, he will wait much longer because he desires more than just sex. He desires her. Then, one of the things a man prefers is purity (virgin/untouched). The reason purity is preferred is because he does have or could have feelings for her. When a man is in love with a woman and she has never been with another man, it'll make him feel good. But when a man is in love with a woman and she has been with other men, it'll bother him. And the more men there have been, the more it may bother him and the harder it may be for him to accept.
The way to tell if a man has serious intentions is if he waits a long time and/or gives her a commitment." 
What do you think about this opinion? At least he concedes that, sometimes, men can be in a relationship for love. |
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kazey (m)
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* The way to tell if a man has serious intentions is if he waits a long time and/or gives her a commitment." Wink
What do you think about this opinion? At least he concedes that, sometimes, men can be in a relationship for love. Well the question is that in real life is that applicable? That is a guy waiting just to prove something, I really doubt it. One thing you must note is that a lot of ladies out there are just waiting to get some guy that might possibly be a future husband. Issues such as abstinence does not work at all. You apply you lose your chance, thats what i believe. It only in very rare cases where the guy would wait. How many guys would be patient with the lady they are crazily in love with? how many? |
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Seun (m)
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I think the answer is yes.
If you're crazily in love with a lady and she says 'no sex before marriage' it makes you want to marry her more quickly. But if not, it makes you want to find someone else to have sex with.
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jogego (m)
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I think the answer is yes.
If you're crazily in love with a lady and she says 'no sex before marriage' it makes you want to marry her more quickly. But if not, it makes you want to find someone else to have sex with.
Just to play the Devil's advocate here. If a lady says no sex till you marry me and you agree, how do you know for sure and excuse my language here, getting laid somewhere else. It has been proven times without number that if a man does not make any moves towards intimacy in a rship, 9 out of 10 times, the lady believes that the man does not find her attractive. |
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Seun (m)
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It has been proven times without number that if a man does not make any moves towards intimacy in a rship, 9 out of 10 times, the lady believes that the man does not find her attractive. We will not argue this point with you until you give us references to back this 'proven fact'. |
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jogego (m)
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It has been proven times without number that if a man does not make any moves towards intimacy in a rship, 9 out of 10 times, the lady believes that the man does not find her attractive. We will not argue this point with you until you give us references to back this 'proven fact'. Any body who has had any amount of relatinship experience will tell you that what I have said is the truth. It is a statement of fact and I am not about to go looking for some figures to back up what I have seen so many times to be true. If the ladies want to be truthful, they will tell you am right. |
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Seun (m)
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In other words, you have no proof, so we will have to settle it with a poll.
Are you saying that if a guy says he wants to marry a girl, but does not try to coerce her into sleeping with him, then she would feel he does not find her attractive?
Are you saying that if a guy wants to marry a girl and he says "let's wait until marriage before we start having sex", then the girl will break up with him thinking, "he does not find me attractive?"
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jogego (m)
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In other words, you have no proof, so we will have to settle it with a poll.
Are you saying that if a guy says he wants to marry a girl, but does not try to coerce her into sleeping with him, then she would feel he does not find her attractive?
Are you saying that if a guy wants to marry a girl and he says "let's wait until marriage before we start having sex", then the girl will break up with him thinking, "he does not find me attractive?"
First off, when talking about human nature, I don't believe in using statistics. Life is not plain black or white as am sure you will agree with me. In any case, a knowledgeable person can twist statistics to suit his or her own purposes ( just ask the Enron investors who piled their life savings in Enron because of the fantastic figures being presented). AS per your two scenarios, I am not implying any of them. What am saying is Mr A is dating Ms B. Ms B says lets wait till we get married before having sex. And my question is how can Mr A be sure that Ms B is not getting 'some' from Mr C. |
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Seun (m)
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If we can't trust statistics, what should we trust? Your opinion? What if your opinion is wrong? What if your opinion, my opinion, and other peoples' opinions are conflicting? How do you resolve the conflict of opinion without statistics?
As for your question, the answer is simple. Hire a private detective!
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hotpikin (f)
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lol!! of course... |
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hotpikin (f)
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Sorry pinky im going to cut into you and seuns super womans power knowledge here but I can't even be hypnotized to beliving or trusting a virgin I hope that makes my point CLEAR!
what exactly can't u trust in a virgin?? did u have sum bad experiences or what? |
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hotpikin (f)
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Your hypothesis seun should paleazeee be checked all over and domino I value virginity and must I say this over and over I JUST DONT TRUST IT. There is nothing wrong with you being a virgin I just don't trust you. Virgins are not sigk people, am not saying every virgin should go and hang her legs in the air and get diisvirgined all I say from my side I Dont trust or believe in them and ive clearly stated my reasons . Seun my guess is or from what ive been reading you are still a virgin good for you and your stand fo virginity is strong yes all im saying and will keep saying is you can't compare the wisdom calmness and maturity of an elder to a youngster that is still seeking knowledge in my definition a learnerd woman will not be as curious as the unlearned one and curiousity we all know can be a bastard
I haven't seen any of your reasons... |
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Pinky (f)
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What am saying is Mr A is dating Ms B. Ms B says lets wait till we get married before having sex. And my question is how can Mr A be sure that Ms B is not getting 'some' from Mr C.
You are wrong in a way, because most times it is "how can Mrs. B be sure Mr. A is not getting down elsewhere with Ms. C" Most times guys who can't get it with their girls want to get it elsewhere because they can't do without it! They're dogs  I am a living witness; I know what I am talking about. I once had this guy who was asking me out and I told him from the start that even if we're going to go into a relationship, there will be no sex. And guess what he said "if I can't have sex with you, there will be problem in our relationship" and there really was. I had to stop seeing him because he was getting laid elsewhere. |
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jogego (m)
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@pinky: First off, if you notice, I never said that it only hangs one way. We are human beings; of course it could happen either way. I was only creating a scenario. And sorry about your experience, but that's just life.
In any case, wether you want accept or not, fact of the matter, is that, a relationship without sex can hardly flourish. Ain't no need arguing about it. It's the way it's been, it's the way it is, it is the way it will be. Premarital sex is morally wrong but like someone said up there, I prefer an experienced person to someone who would still want to experiment.
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