Why does man attribute every wrongdoing to me?

Man falls in love with a person gifted with body odour but blames me when he/she is no longer interested
Man steals but blames me when he's caught
Man rapes but blames me
Man bangs another's wife, goes 5 rounds, but blames me when caught: was i the one that ejaculated and moaned?
Man schemes and embezzles millions from workplace but blames me when caught
Man sleeps with nanny/wife's sister but blames me when wife catches
Man takes day-off from work, doesn't tell wife but goes to Cynthia's place for sex, but blames me when caught
Man goes to the mall put 8 items in the shopping basket but blames me when 4 others are found in his pocket
I am getting PISSED OFF and ENRAGED! If any man lieth against me henceforth, I will appear to him/her in the dead of the night and bang the shit outa his/her arse with my odour at fullest blast!