|
bigboyslim (m)
|
So What Is The Most Effective Strategy For Winning Her Back
All my strategies are failing. I want her back but she claims that because I called it off initially it will be difficult if not impossible for her to trust me again. We're still friends and all but she says she doesn't want me back. Nairaland veterans what do you advise?
|
|
|
|
|
|
tope2000 (f)
|
why do you want her back now??
is the real question and pls dont tell me it because u love her
didnt u know that before?
|
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
why do you want her back now??
is the real question and please don't tell me it because u love her
didnt u know that before?
And is there any crime in falling out of love and falling back in love |
|
|
|
|
|
spikedcylinder
|
All my strategies are failing. I want her back but she claims that because I called it off initially it will be difficult if not impossible for her to trust me again. We're still friends and all but she says she doesnt want me back. Nairaland veterans what do you advise?
You must have hurt her when you left her the first time. If she hasn't moved on, I foresee a very long and tiresome journey towards winning her back. And in the end you may not get her, so be prepared for that. |
|
|
|
|
|
tope2000 (f)
|
Ok so you've fallen in love with her again, so wat if she does this 'thing' that made you fall out of love with her again. will call it a day again?? im just playin devil's advocate here oo
if i was her i wudnt trust you either
|
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
You must have hurt her when you left her the first time.
If she hasn't moved on, I foresee a very long and tiresome journey towards winning her back. And in the end you may not get her, so be prepared for that.
I appreciate your analysis but sadly you haven't suggested any possible solutions. how do I attempt to win her back, should I increase calls, lay off for a while, pretend that i'm doing her a favor by asking her back? Of course I hurt her when I called it off but then that happens whenever anybody calls off a relationship. |
|
|
|
|
|
tope2000 (f)
|
I appreciate your analysis but sadly you haven't suggested any possible solutions. how do I attempt to win her back, should I increase calls, lay off for a while, pretend that i'm doing her a favor by asking her back? Of course I hurt her when I called it off but then that happens whenever anybody calls off a relationship.
my main point is bigboyslim is that you need to see this from her point of view let her know what you did was wrong plead and beg until whenever let her know you still want her of course but this time like mad don't bombard her with phone calls, give her space to clear her head call her like you normally do |
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
my main point is bigboyslim is that you need to see this from her point of view
let her know what you did was wrong
plead and beg until whenever
let her know you still want her of course but this time like mad
don't bombard her with phone calls, give her space to clear her head
call her like you normally do
Thanks for your advice but unfortunately the words in bold do not exist in my dictionary. I can try the other steps though |
|
|
|
|
|
tope2000 (f)
|
male ego huh!
if u truly n really want her back, you will
|
|
|
|
|
|
Missy B (f)
|
I appreciate your analysis but sadly you haven't suggested any possible solutions. how do I attempt to win her back, should I increase calls, lay off for a while, pretend that i'm doing her a favor by asking her back? Of course I hurt her when I called it off but then that happens whenever anybody calls off a relationship.
I find it difficult to understand why Nland should suggest to you a device tru which you can get her back when you delibrately refused to tell us why you called it off. The heart is not a PC you switch on and off at your convenience.If you hurt her the first time and you want her back,it's expedient you tell the prob b4 a solution comes up. |
|
|
|
|
|
MrCrackles (m)
|
singing that RKelly smash hit to my self "when a woman's fed up"
try all the trick for this world, even if you be Professor Peller, nothing for you, if that woman is fed up like fed ex!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
"Censored"
|
|
|
|
|
|
sistawoman
|
Ok that being said, if she knew this was the reason then you maybe begging for a while.
You have to make her feel beautiful.
You have to romance her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
tope2000 (f)
|
Okay, well it ended because I contracted the Wandering Eyes Syndrome which means that I basically started finding other girls more attractive than her and felt I deserved to be with these more attractive girls but now I know better that whoever you're with, there will always be more attractive people and what should keep you interested in your partner should be deeper than just physical attraction.
At last , you confess  i hope she doesnt know about that part?? because if she does i wudnt accept you either because if them babes didnt dump u or you didnt get to know who they are you wudnt have come back n say say you want her back i guess you're a perfect example for you don't appreciate what you have till its gone  then u say you cant beg, u suppose to even cry sef b4 she agrees to get back with u  |
|
|
|
|
|
Missy B (f)
|
now I know better that whoever you're with, there will always be more attractive people and what should keep you interested in your partner should be deeper than just physical attraction.
Good you've realised this but I hope for your sake that it's not too late. Talk things over with her. . . Be sincere Give her reasons to believe you and come back and even if that includes pleading with her. . . Do. PS: I like the two lines I quoted frm u .Try tellin her that too  |
|
|
|
|
|
MrCrackles (m)
|
Ok that being said, if she knew this was the reason then you maybe begging for a while.
You have to make her feel beautiful.
You have to romance her.
i smelt you coming here chei, the specialist!! |
|
|
|
|
|
spikedcylinder
|
I appreciate your analysis but sadly you haven't suggested any possible solutions. how do I attempt to win her back, should I increase calls, lay off for a while, pretend that i'm doing her a favor by asking her back? Of course I hurt her when I called it off but then that happens whenever anybody calls off a relationship.
I'm glad you appreciate it but I didn't suggest anything because if I were in her shoes, I would not trust you either. So good luck with your phone calls and stuff. singing that RKelly smash hit to my self "when a woman's fed up"
try all the trick for this world, even if you be Professor Peller, nothing for you, if that woman is fed up like fed ex!!
Lol! That man's daughter used to be my roomie in School. Except she learned magic after school sha. . . . . . |
|
|
|
|
|
apreshe8
|
I would have been hurt too if i were in her shoes.I would say, if you know that you are ready to stay then you have to convince her beyond every reasonable doubt that she is more desirable to you than ever before.
1. be ready to beg
2.persistence works too (there should be something to be said for consistency)
3.be attentive
4.show love
5.show lots of love
6. be attentive again
Also be prepared to lose her totally, because someone else would have appreciated what you so carelessly tossed aside.
Wishing you the very best!
|
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
I'm glad you appreciate it but I didn't suggest anything because if I were in her shoes, I would not trust you either.
So good luck with your phone calls and stuff.
I still fail to understand this. Why won't you trust me. I just explained what I realized since calling it off. Shouldn't that be proof that i'm even a more mature person now than ever before. |
|
|
|
|
|
tope2000 (f)
|
I still fail to understand this. Why won't you trust me. I just explained what I realized since calling it off. Shouldn't that be proof that i'm even a more mature person now than ever before.
mature people don't dump their GF in the first place with xcuse of yours she can't trust you because its like toying with her emotions |
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
mature people don't dump their GF in the first place with xcuse of yours
she can't trust you because its like toying with her emotions
hello, its not like i dump her every forthnight. It just happened once, and i've realized and acknowledged my folly. I don't think that makes me very immature. After all, I could have done something worse like cheat on her, but I didn't. |
|
|
|
|
|
k1banty (m)
|
@bigboyslim
If she no want you back, look for another girl.
she may not be convinced that you have change.
no stress this issue so much.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Missy B (f)
|
@bigboyslim
If she no want you back, look for another girl.
Dem dey sell 'em? Where they at pls?Obj needs some. |
|
|
|
|
|
sistawoman
|
i smelt you coming here chei, the specialist!! I hope it is Sensual Amber by Bath and Body Works that you smell today. If not then it is someone else that you are smelling. |
|
|
|
|
|
bigboyslim (m)
|
Thanks to everyone for your contributions. You guys have been really helpful. Ladies, May your boyfriends or husbands never dump you and Guys, May you never accidentally dump your girlfriends.
|
|
|
|
|
|
MrCrackles (m)
|
I hope it is Sensual Amber by Bath and Body Works that you smell today. If not then it is someone else that you are smelling.
sistawoman you are too much jare i am sniffing that all over again! |
|
|
|
|
|
darefestus (m)
|
The same way you let her go, By calling it on  |
|
|
|
|
|
topup
|
I apologise in advance for not being able to do justice to your original post, but I am not currently able to devote all my attention to Nairaland at the moment.
It is always possible to win someone over, especially if their answer was not that of; 'Hell no' or 'I'm getting married to someone else'. As long as she's single, she might as well be buying you more time.
Time, that is the key, with loss of trust, it won't happen overnight, any girl who gets fooled once and who is smart will know to guard her heart twice as hard, which means to you that you should try twice as hard, be twice as sensitive, twice as understanding and twice as persistent.
Since she has lost trust in you, ask her what you can do to regain it, and do it. The last part is the most important.
Don't take for granted the simple things like calling when you said you would, being on time, checking up on her, it's a hard job, but you need to adopt the mentality that she is worth all this effort.
Be humble, remember that she is giving you a second chance, and also keep your eyes open, if she is responding after a few weeks, then continue working hard, don't slack, she can close the gates to her heart in an instant, it's easier after the initial heartbreak/loss of trust.
I would write more but like I said, I will have to leave any additions until when I return.
Take care and all the best.
|
|
|
|
|
|
topup
|
Thanks to everyone for your contributions. You guys have been really helpful. Ladies, May your boyfriends or husbands never dump you and Guys, May you never accidentally dump your girlfriends.
Hehehe, Thank you. |
|
|
|
|
|
Seun (m)
|
Maybe the two of you are just not meant to be together. Nothing wrong with that. It's not by force!
|
|
|
|
|
|
churchmann
|
Hi
bigboyslim let her go,forget her and just close your eyes and say this 'the storm is over' by the time u open it there will be another for u and remember never turn back the hand of time.Let her go u will get better opportunity out there
|
|
|
|
|
|
teeboyy
|
@ tope2000
Na wa oooo lady if your guy leave you, you no go forgive am oooo. Person dey talk say hi, sori .
My guy go do wetin you sabi do jare
|
|
|
|
|
|
![Nairaland [Nigerian Forum] Home](http://www.nairaland.com/Themes/default/images/english/home.gif)
Author
