Getting Married For The Green Card (Citizenship)

I agree with you when you say there are all kinds of reasons people use others;
I believe my ex reason was denials he received from the embassey the times he
tried to come on his own.  Back then I didn't know much about immigration and
how some other countries want to be in America.  I didn't know that your passport
is stamped every time you attempt to migrate and I really didn't know that his last
attempt to migrate the moral way was denied  within a very short period of him
wooing me to the alter.

Although there may be some cases where the man intended to marry only for purpose's of a greencard benefit and decided to stay with his victim  are few and
far between compared to the many that will Marry with intent to scam.

Some will Marry whom ever belives their scam first and is willing to file those papers
to get them where they want to be, some marry partners much older then them
knowing that they will never fall in love with them, and to them it makes it so much
more easier for them to later put their exit plots into play.

I found that at end of the day; If it feels too good to be true it probably is, seems as
tho many people will use religion as a bonding factor with zero fear of God.  It's just sad all the way around.  The deceiver fails to realize that what they do to another will eventaully come back to them 7-fold.  Their kids won't respect them nor appreciate what they have done to the Mother that cared for them while the man ran away and left that women to imput morals and values in their kids.

Actually I feel that any man that can plant and seed and stay around long enough to name it then abandon that seed without knowing how the seed is sprouting has some serious issues within themselves, especially if they continue to call themselves religious, there's nothing holy about marrying for greencard benefits and planting a seed that they know they have zero intentions of sticking around for.

People that have done that to others may be laughing now and having a good time talking to family and friends about how the whole scam played out, but they just don't realize that they are also telling them that they care about nobody but themselves and could at any time also scam them. Just as they can turn there back on the children they create; they must find it equally easy to do the same to the other family members as well.

Many people are still too embarressed to talk about being a victim of a marriage scam
however I've always been one to be honest and call it what it is.

I'm still wondering if that's how professionals act in my ex homeland Nigeria, do they go after what they want at the expense of hurting others, I'm wondering if his family is ashamed of what he's done or if they're high fiving him  for all the hurt and pain that he has brought on me and his son, or do they even realize the deptness of the situation we all find ourselves in.

No generaliztions from me, I merely stated where my ex husband is from.   Back in
2003 when I met my ex husband there wasen't alot of information online from other
victims for me to NOT believe the man professing his love for me.
I went to Nigeria twice met his mother and some of his brothers and sisters; I walked away from that encounter thinking that they seemed okay, their house in Lekki susgested to me that he was able to back up all that he had told me.
( It could of been all staged who knows or cares )

When someone marries anyone that is outside of their home Country they really need to go to them and live with them in their Country first for many years.  The short period of time that people spend together isn't enough coupled with the fact that people can be professional and want something soooooooo bad that they are willing to  do unmoral things to get what they want. Long distance relationships are fine when you don't have so much too lose, and you spend lots of time together but all this internet dating and professions of love, does require much more then your average research on a person.  But what I didn't have a grasp of is the deceitful scams that even a professional would be willing to do in order to get to America and obtain a greencard. ( They tell me experience is the best teacher )

NOW I KNOW FIRST HAND !!!

Everyone that falls in love has to have faith in the person that they love. 
However Betrayl  is on a whole other level.  Thanks for answering my question regarding the high fiveing; because I really didn't know; my current feeling was that I was the only one in the room with his family that didn't know that I was being scammed.  As I stated before: Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. was the only good thing that came outta this union, his father walked away when he was only 3-week old; they say he's a frist son, but I guess that no longer matters in amongst the Igbo tribe, because ( in my mind ) his father was so bent on obtaining a greencard and citizenship that he married where he did not love but adamently professed his love.

How can I even take partial blame when I thought this person was sincere?  My thoughts are that I can't.

 

Moves

First of all I want to say that it was my ex.husband that told me that doctors in America make more then in Nigeria,and we already know the dollar exchange is much higher then the Naira currently.

If supplying everything he needed here in America to the best of my ability is considered as treating him bad then he would have a valid case against me.
Trust me, I have reevaluted my married life to this man and it always comes to the same conclusion; I treated him as best as I could, and let him be the leader in our realtionship.  He took that power and chose to run all over me !

He named our son I didn't.  I guess one must first define the term responsible before applying it to an Igbo or anybody else.  The Igbo man I married was determined to leave our relationship and confirmed to me that it was all a scam thru his testimony during our divorce; ofcourse I had already known that by the way he left, but thru testimony in court it was confirmed it for me.

sis,
  Don't bother yourself about the whole issue.I  myself also went through the samething the only difference was that when it was time for him to let go he chased me out without getting the paper work done but I beat him to his game and got it myself.he sure has his green card now but who care I have learned to move on.I don't love him and he does not love me too.I was born and raised in the states but I still love my father land.He is just one of those people who go about to distroy the image of Nigerians.The law of karma will definitely pay him back in due time.
Honestly I am really surprised at how Nigerians lie with religion and still go ahead to commit their atrocities.
Move on with your life ,take care of your Son and may God be with you.
If you don want to get involved in marriage again be careful and let your God lead you.
Wish you luck.

Nigerian are cowards!
How can a person who call himself a man see an Innocent lady and take advantage of her.My wife was a victim to this too but thank God she moved on with her life.
You need to let this go and just move on,take care of your son ans yourself and I guarantee you when he come to his full senses he will  reap what he sows.
I know allot of morons would be wondering how I got my paper,well for all you busy body .I did not come to the states on a student ,fiancee or tourist visa.God made a way for me to come here legit and I am a US citizen.I earned it by defending this country freedom in Iraq.You all can say shit if you want I really don't care.I am one of those Nigerians who will not encourage evil in the name of poverty or greener pasture.
It is bad to take advantage of some else in order for one to get to where one want to be.With time the law of karma will pay him back.His people who support and took part with him will reap in their own way.  Don't think Nigerian are bad people but be careful because allot of Nigerians who kill a dead corps just to come to the states.
God will help you and your son.
let your creator deal with him and all those people who want to make you feel bad for falling in love with a Nigerian ignore their comments and bogs that's the way retard humans act which unfortunately allot of them are like that.I don't care the response I receive from this but I will always call a spade a spade

So easy to say to me to move on.  The fact still remains that as I type someone is being manipulated for the purpose of a greencard.  I was not the first victim and sure I won't be the last.  I appreciate all the comments of support and wish I knew even one Nigerian person that I could trust due to my son being a Nigerian.

Surely there are some families that really believe in and fear God.  It's sad that I don't know of any.  But then again, I don't know a whole lot of Nigerians either.
Africa is in my bloodline thru my ancesters,  all I know is American and the moral and values my American parents instilled in me.

KAYUSA,

     Thanks for your thoughtful words.  However you have misrepresentated me as a woman that finds it hard to move on with her life.  I'd like to make it clear that, that's not the case at all.  I choose to share my story so that those that think it's cool to go about scamming others for a greencard may stop and think of the situation that they may find themselves in once the scam is revealed.  I was hoping that some would think before doing such an evil act.

In America when people marry there is an oath they take.  Only people fearless of God can take such an oath knowing they are lying.  Only people fearless of God can ask for kids knowing that they have no plans to stick with that person.  Only people fearless of God can walk out on their own 3-week old child and wife.  Only someone fearless of God can ruin someone else's life for their own benefit when that person has been nothing but good to them.

And trust me; what's done is darkness will always come to light. I feel that I'd be lying to this board to write that my ex. was a successful scammer as the others that helped him along the way.  I'm not a bitter woman stuck in the pass as being a victim of a greencard scam.  I'm a strong woman willing to tell my experience in hopes that I can reach out to other would be victims.  I don't understand why people choose to associate depression/bitterness  with someone that isn't ashamed to speak about what they have experienced.

I want you to know that we aren't where we were before this man pulled his scam on us, but for me; I'm still strong.  You may not know it but America has lots of laws, and within those laws you have to show ample reasons for any judge to take a child away,  if a judge has appointed you with legal custody; becoming ill isn't a reason for a judge to take away a child from the court appointed parent in the USA.  The legal guardian also has a say as to where they want they child to go if they find that they can no longer take care of them and the Father has been absent in their lives.  For any sick or dead person in America as long as they have a living will and that will address the issues of their kids, they still have a say.

Once people are divorced in America they are free to date other people, also free to Marry again; so whatever I choose to do is my personal right.

Please don't mistake my willingness to share my experience with others as me being a bitter person because that simply isn't the case.  I'm hoping that all the people that have been a victim of a greencard marriage scam will find the courage to speak up and contact the right people and let them know of this type of scam.

idocare,
   I am sorry for the misunderstanding.
Hey,I am just flowing along with you what your bloged. probably if your writing structure would have been a little bit straight forward i guess i won't have gotten the wrong notion and misunderstood you altogether that does not include your personal life because I really don't care  what you do with your life.I fight against people who use other people to get what they want,that's why i have been reading along since you started your blog and not for me to label you what you are not or come intrude in your personal life.
You are right with the way people do go around to commit evil and still think they can get away with it.It's just a matter of time before they reap their reward but here and wherever their soul will be going.I know allot about the laws of the states because I am a US Citizen and I am  also pursuing my law degree so all those explanation is  unnecessary.For other people going through this kind of trend I do hope they do the rigth thing and move on with their life just like you did.
Good job and have a good one.

My ex-husband scammer has run deep in the woods.  Although he may still be in America I believe his thinking now is that his life in Nigeria was more honorable.  He didn't have to work so hard as he now does.  My ex. husband was a medical doctor in Nigeria, so far he isn't here in America, unless he's using a alias name.


     He was a very manipulative species towards me; I'm almost positive that whomever he comes in contact with that he'll sow the same seed towards them as he did me.  Even his family back home in Nigeria; he told me that he's a frist born son and that his family depends on him since his father died; but his actions only looks out for himself.  I'm almost positive that he sends very little to his family back in Nigeria as he tries to gain the American Dream here in America.

     My thoughts is that he lies to them like he lied to me time after time; he always has a sad story to tell them concerning how bad he's suffering; while in reality he's trying hard to live it up, but due to his manipulative manner he is cursed !!!


      I have heard of many Nigerians coming to America by using a American spouse only to leave them once they get settled and feel as tho they can legally scam the immigration system here in America.

     I just want to mention that I don't have a big dislike for all Nigerians just my ex-husband; the father of my son.  The man who walked away from his marriage and his son; in my oppinion; any man that can come into another country by way of marriage with intent to scam another human being is lower then a moron; and very unstable in the mind. 

My son ( Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. ) whom I will raise to be a intelligent strong, responsible person has fallen victim to his fathers ploit.  Yes; his father has hurt me but more importantly he's also has created an  child that only came about because he was scamming me.  I see him as being a very wicked person that even his family should watch out for.  Any man that can ignore his own son can do anything to his family; I can't blame his own son if he later disrepects his father for abandoning him; and causing his mother all this stress.

     In short; I want to open the eyes to all those who are thinking about using another for the sake of a greencard; it just isn't worth it.

In the U.S, its extremely difficult to transition from student status(F-1) to Permanent Resident Status (GreenCard). Some people get lucky and find an employer that is willing to file for H1B visa (Work Visa - good for six years) after which the employer then files for GreenCard for the individual. Others get lucky and win the Lottery i.e. Visa lotery.

For all you holy people in here that have not had to do arrangee marriage for greencard ( because u have been lucky to have won the lottery or have found an employer that filed on your behalf) that does not give you any right to JUDGE others because you would probably do the same in our shoes

sistawoman, what did u mean?

@sistawoman. thanx. u rox plenty!

I never said that he was not breaking the law all I am saying is:

dont lie to the woman and pretend it is something it is not

Agree to the terms of the marriage before you say I do

And keep all commiments to her thru out w/o excuse

Dont defraud her and pay her what it is worth.

He still might go back home because he gets caught but there will not be an american sista sitting at home crying because he lied to her.
She will be in a better spot than someone who was taken advantange of.

IDOCARE for your sons sake, forgive us all Nigerian,i read all your post and i felt for you.please do not let you son have bad impression about Nigerians,hope you watch Nigeria home videos,if you can keep a track on your ex you will find out that end will tell the story.

It is not just Nigerians that do that. And I am an American woman. Just that Africans don't pay as much as the other races. And some just sponge off the system and never get legal (not Nigerians other nationalities). They under cut us for work.

But u have to admit Nigerians that come here work hard as hell and don't take hand outs or cause a burden on society

Hi Ciwu,

Speak to your husband and as him why he kept this from you all this time.  The other question for you is "does it make a difference"?  You loved him before you found out about his status.

This is something both of you will need to talk and pray about.  Wishing you both the best and I hope it works out for you.